It hasn't been three days and I'm blank,
I feel like I can't tell the real world from my worst,
My worst from the darkness I had been in,
The white, from the spontaneous yellow I wish I could go in.

Now, it's like I'm all gone,
Like I'm here, but it feels strange, like I'm not,
This person, she's in control,
But I was so out of it, that it feels all messed up and out of control.

Now I feel like everything's clear,
I feel fake, like my soul doesn't belong here,
Like I'm watching myself live, while faking a laugh,
The more I talk, it's like I realize.

I feel so drained,
I feel so fake,
I feel so insufficient,
It doesn't hurt,
But I'm not drawn to the blade.

I don't wanna be alive,
Yet, I'm not drawn to su!c!de,
Like I'm designed to live,
No matter what may hurt my life.

I don't wanna live like this,
I feel like I don't know me,
Like everything's suppressed,
I don't know what to say,
I really don't think it'd even make sense anyway.

I'm a spiral of lost things,
I'm a string of fate,
In reality, which brings an unrealistic shock,
But I wanna stay quiet, cause I don't know what to say.

I wanna apologize for all I did,
But, why apologize for my mental health?

I can't shut up about how weird I feel,
I'm used to feeling so overwhelmed,
I had dwelled in it for some time too long,
This control, it feels so new.

I don't feel special,
I don't feel like I worth much,
I feel like I could explode,
Like I have a lot to explain.

I'm numb to everything around me,
I don't feel connected to my body,
I don't feel so right,
Everything seems like its changing so much,
I just don't feel so connected to anything.

Its like the same as my birthday,
Just without the su!c!dal thoughts,
Without any feelings at all,
It all feels so out of place.