Chapter 25// Guilt

Alex was finally discharged from the hospital.

He was doing well. He never brought up his father's visit again. Flora didn't either. He was recovering and she didn't want to sabotage that in any way.

Which also meant she had to keep quiet about her kiss with Jacob the night of his accident.

But the guilt was eating at her every second of every day.

She wanted to just spit it out, like ripping off a bandaid, but she knew she'd also rip out his heart if she did that. So, she kept quiet. She needed to find the right moment — if there ever was one.

"Alex?" She spoke, turning her head slightly to glance at him the passenger seat of her car. It felt off driving him, since he always drove her around. She missed glancing at his toned arms flexing against the steering wheel, or the way his jaw would click whenever someone cut him off in traffic, or the way he'd grip onto her thigh.

"Yea?" He hummed.

"I'm happy you're home, and safe, and recovering. I honestly don't know what I would've done if you... if you..." her words trailed off. Flora couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence.

"I know, baby girl," Alex's voice was gentle, "I would never leave you, okay?" He searched her eyes to make sure she understood how serious he was, and Flora smiled, relief flooding her expression.

"I love you," she blurted out, causing a grin to overtake Alex's entire face.

Alex smiled, genuinely smiled, a smile that reached his eyes and lit up his entire face from within, "I love you, too."

~ ~ ~

"What time are you meeting your friend?" Alex pondered from the couch.

They were at his apartment. Flora tried to make the place more home-y, and although Alex wouldn't admit it, he secretly loved the little plants she placed around the living room. He thought of her every time he saw them.

"Ummm" Flora thought for a second, "in about an hour?" She answered more as a question rather than a statement.

She wasn't entirely sure. Melanie called her that morning and insisted they hang out. Flora tried to lie her way out of it, but Melanie saw right through her. Than it dawned on her, she never even told Melanie, her best friend, that she and Alex started dating. Although, he Flora didn't like to leave Alex while he was still recovering, she reluctantly agreed.

Alex quirked a brow, "So, then that means..." he began, sinking down lower into the couch, and manscaping a little wider. Flora knew exactly what he was hinting at. They hadn't done it yet. Flora was still a virgin. But... they had done other things. And those other things was what Alex was referring to.

In other words, he wanted a blowjob.

"Alex..." Flora began timidly, "Your scars...you're still in recovery and—"

"—Fuck recovery," Alex muttered, "I'm fine, I promise."

He stood from the couch and walked over to Flora. He stood directly in front of her, his tall, broad frame towering over her.

"But what's not fine," he began, placing his large hands on either side of her face, "is this hard-on I can't get rid of."

Both of their eyes travelled down to the very noticeable tent in Alex's pants.

"Pleaseeeee baby girl," the sound that escaped his throat was both sexy and cute — like an odd mix between a moan, a groan, and a whine.

Flora felt the rush of anticipation flood to her core.

She didn't answer.

Instead, she sunk to her knees, positioning her face right in front of Alex's bulging sweatpants.

Alex didn't say anything either, but his eyes spoke for him. He was relieved, excited, and, above all else, madly in love with the girl about to take his cock into her mouth.

Flora fiddled with the drawstrings of his loose, grey sweatpants, teasing him. Alex groaned, growing impossibly harder by the second. He roughly gripped his hand in her hair to signal his impatience.

Flora got the message loud and clear, his rough grip stinging her scalp as her hair was held tightly between his fingers.

"That's it, baby girl," Alex praised, as Flora pulled his sweatpants down his toned thighs.

His grip loosened slightly as she kissed the tent in his boxers. Alex sucked in a sharp breath, the innocent kiss contrasting with what she's about to do almost sent him over the edge.

Finally, Flora slowly pulled his black boxers down his legs, and his cock sprung free like it was dying to be released from the confining material.

Flora gasped at the sheer size of him. Yes, she's seen him before, but it never failed to amaze her. It reached just passed his belly button when it laid against his stomach. Her own tummy swirled with emotions of fear, lust, and desire.

Alex smirked down at her, knowing exactly what she was thinking in this moment.

Flora reached a small hand out to grip the base of his length. Alex hissed at the contact.

"F-fuck." Alex threw his head back when Flora's tongue swirled around the tip of his cock.

Flora gripped his length again, and licked the vein along the underside of it. 

"Enough teasing, baby girl. Daddy needs your mouth."

Flora squeezed her legs together as soon as that word fell past his lips. While she loved how soft he usually was with her, she also loved how sex brought out this feral, dominant side to him that she longed for.

She heeded his instructions, wrapping her lips around the head and bringing him deeper in her mouth, with the help of Alex's hand pushing her head as far as she could take it. No, farther than she could take it. Flora gagged around his length, but the sound only seemed to spur Alex on even more. His grip in her hair grew tighter, his eyes screwed shut, his breathing heavy and erratic.

He was close, and Flora knew it.

She smiled against his length, and stuck her tongue out, lapping at his balls. That was enough for Alex, he gripped either side of her head and began thrusting in her mouth, the tip of his dick hitting the back of her throat with each and every jut of his hips. Flora gagged as Alex continued his relentless assault against her throat.

"That's it, baby girl, take it," Alex encouraged, and with one last thrust, exploded.

"Swallow," he demanded, gripping her jaw, his eyes locked with Flora's, his dick still unloading in her mouth, "every last drop."

Flora obeyed, before being pulled to her feet, and gently cradled against Alex's chest.

"You're such a pretty little good girl," Alex cooed, his lips grazing the top of her messy hair.

"I love you," Flora hummed against his chest. She wasn't sure why she said it, especially in this moment, but the words just felt right.

Alex pulled away to look at her face.

"You know," he began cautiously, "sometimes the words I love you don't seem to be enough to describe how I feel for you."

Flora's brows knit together in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, it's silly, but I don't know. Sometimes I feel like those words don't even really express how I feel for you, Flower. I feel like my heart is going to explode with love when I'm with you. I feel like I could die in this very moment and I'd be the luckiest and happiest man that ever lived. I feel like you deserve more than an 'I love you.'"

Flora nearly gasped at his confession. She stood frozen, this was such a contrast to the Alex that was just nearly pulling the hair from her head a moment ago. He wasn't rough, he was gentle, vulnerable.

As cliche as it sounds, being with Alex was such a rollercoaster. But Flora was more than ready for the ride.

"It's stupid," he dismisses, mistaking her silence for judgment.

"No, Alex," Flora gently grabbed his face, making him look at her once again.

"It's not stupid. I feel the same way. You make me feel safe, protected, secure. You make me feel giddy, happy, and..." her words trailed off for a moment. The seriousness of Alex's gaze made her falter for a second.

"And," she continued slowly, "when you were in the hospital, and for a second I thought I'd lost you, my life didn't feel worth living anymore."

This time Alex was speechless. He pulled her head closely into his chest and held her. They held each other. Tightly. Like they sensed how lucky they were to have found each other, and they were terrified they might lose one another just as easily.

A/N: im ashamed at how smutty this is 😭