Patrick kissed me three days ago. That was the only thing i could think about. Patrick and i had agreed to forget about the event. Well for me it meant i just wouldn't mention it but i couldn't stop thinking about it.

It was kind of bitter sweet. I loved it, i loved the way his lips tasted, i loved the way he was rough but stopped, i loved it. But i hated it, i hated how i loved, i hated how is lips tasted, i hated the way i knew i had a boyfriend but took forever to stop him. I didn't know what to think.

I was currently sitting in my bed thinking about what happened. What are you doing to me Patrick? Why are you making me feel this way? I was mad at him and happy he did it? I didn't know, i really didn't know. Oh well i guess, my brothers friend who is also my best friend kissed me. Nothing big right, just coming onto me.

Why was i trying to act like this was normal, this wasn't normal! None of this way normal. It was odd, wrong in all ways possible. I hated it, I hated him. But that was a lie, I could never hate him, I could never hate it. Why is this happening to me, I just can't leave Robert, we love each other. Do we really though. I mean he's not very loving, or romantic, or anything like that... 

Stop, Stop, just stop it mind! Stop making me question things, stop making me feel things, just stop it. I was done, I couldn't do this anymore I needed to know how Patrick felt about this, I needed to. I got up and headed into the lounge knowing that it was just meet and Patrick.

Patrick's P.O.V. (What didn't see that coming!)

I was sitting scolding myself for what I had done three days a go.  It was pretty stupid, I was just hoping that Emma would feel the same. I was about to get up to apologize to Emma... again, when she walked into the lounge. My breathing hitched a little when I saw her. She was always beautiful, no matter what she wore, no matter if she did her hair, no matter if she had no makeup on. Nothing was more beautiful then her. I had liked her the day I saw her, I had loved since year six of knowing her. Yeah I loved a girl for eight years and I never told her. Yeah the girl i loved was now dating a douche.

Well i didn't know if he was a douche i had never met him, no one from the band had met him except for Joe.
I was still thinking when Emma sat next to me, she looked uncomfortable and was fidgeting. I really fucked up.

"Hey uh Patrick can i ask you something?" She asked nervously. I put on a fake confident smile and nodded. "Did the kiss mean anything to you?" She asked me. My breathing stopped.

Part of me wanted to scream, "Yes! Yes it did!" But she had a boyfriend i couldn't ruin their relationship. "No, it didn't, i was just acting on impulse." I said and my heart almost felt like it was breaking.

Emma stood up and smiled at me though i could see a hint of sadness in her eyes. Then she just walked back to her bunk. Oh yeah, i really fucked up.

Emma's P.O.V.
Why did this hurt so much? It shouldn't hurt, i should be relieved. But i wasn't relieved. I was hurt. This was weird, weird and wrong. I shouldn't feel this way. I missed the feeling of his lips on mine.

Why don't you leave Robert then? My mind asked me. Because i love him, i really do. No you don't, you're afraid of him. No i'm not, i'm really not.

Then stand up for yourself, tell him you don't like him hitting you. Because, because, because i can't. That's not a reason, it's an excuse. It's not an excuse, it's a reason.

Sure, keep lying to yourself. I'm not lying to myself, you are me how come you don't agree with me? Because i'm not insane. You bitch I'm not insane! Well you just called yourself a bitch so. Fine.

Anyways you like Patrick why can't you accept that. He's my best friend, anyways even if i did like Patrick i'm in the friend zone. Wait when did i enter the friend zone. Haven't i always been in the friend zone. I guess so, maybe, i don't know. Why didn't you just kiss him back? Because i don't want to make Robert mad.

But Robert's not here so what are you going to do? Not that. Come on you know that's what you want. But it meant nothing. So make it mean something.

I guess that side of me won because before i could think i had stood up and walked out of the bunk area. Patrick was sitting on the couch looking at his phone. He wasn't wearing his fedora and his bangs had fallen in front of his eyes. I bit my lip, he really was attractive.

"Patrick." I said my voice shaking slightly. He looked up from his phone with confused eyes. I took a deep breath, i wanted this, i really wanted this. "I, i want you to kiss me." I said in the most confident voice i could muster. Patrick eye's widened in shock. "W-what?!" He asked. "I want you to kiss me." I said my voice firm this time. "O-okay." He said and stood up.

He looked extremely nervous. When he was in front of me he looked into my eyes. He didn't look nervous he looked terrified. He hesitantly cupped my face in his hands. He didn't want his heart broken again. I sighed and leaned forward connecting our lips.

Patrick didn't respond for a couple of seconds but when he did it was lustful. Like he had wanted to do this for a while now. He licked my bottom lip for entrance and for once i granted him it. His tongue slipped into my mouth. I locked my hands on his shoulders and he placed his hands on my hips.

Someway or another i ended up pinned on the couch again. Patrick moved from my mouth down to my neck. He started lightly sucking on the side of my neck and i did my best to hold in my moans. When he gently nipped my neck i let out a quiet moan. Patrick kept sucking and nipping at the spot on my neck leaving a noticeable mark.

He moved to another spot and started to make another mark. My phone made a noise from the ground, it must have fallen out of my pocket. I ignored it though as i let out moans of pleasure. I felt Patrick slip his hands under my shirt. I started to panic, what if he took off my shirt, he can't see the cuts. Almost to my rescue my phone started to make noise after noise.

Patrick sighed angrily and pulled himself off of me. He grabbed my phone and i could see him unlocking it then going to an app. I saw as Patrick's eyes went from happy, to confused, then sadness, and stopping at anger.

I pulled myself up and a little bit away from him. "What's this?" Patrick said and showed me my phone. The screen showed texts from Robert, drunk Robert. "It's nothing." I said and made a grab for my phone. Patrick pulled it away and scrolled up.

"Hmm, yeah nothing is Robert saying you slept with everyone from the band." Patrick said in an angry voice. I pulled myself farther away from him close to the edge of the couch. "It, it is nothing." I said again.

"God dammit Emma, this is not nothing, tell me!" Patrick shouted at me. I cowered in the corner of the couch. First the yelling would start and then he would hit me. I didn't want Patrick to hit me.

Patrick looked up from my phone to see me cowering in the corner looking at him with fearful eyes. His eyes instantly filled with guilt. "Oh shit Emma, no I'm sorry." Patrick said in a soft voice. Patrick reached out his hand to touch me. I flinched away and i could see the hurt on Patrick face.

He scooted closer to me making sure to be slow. When he reached me he gently pulled me into a hug. I was stiff at first but i soon relaxed into his touch. "Shh, it's okay." Patrick said as he lightly stroked my hair. I felt a couple of tears fall down my cheeks.

Patrick lifted my chin and wiped away the the tears with his thumb. "Everything is going to be okay." Patrick said and pressed a light kiss to my forehead. What was i doing i liked my borthers best friend and band mate but i also had a boyfriend. A boyfriend that i was afraid of but still a boyfriend. This felt right, i felt safe in Patrick's arms and i was going to savor it while i felt this way.

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So yeah this chapter. I hope you all like it because i felt bad about ruinging your lives. I'm writing this while in Pompeii. Yeah the place that was destroyed by a volcano. It's pretty cool. The hotel I'm staying at at the moment doesn't have wifi in the rooms. You have to go to the lobby, the pool, or where we eat breakfast. Yeah we're leaving our sitting spot now so.
Ren201 Out