Erythraean

Azkiya? Who was she?

Ghazal dumbfoundedly stared at her husband who was becoming pale with every passing second, his hands sweaty and skin felt like it had been sucked out of the blood. What was happening to him? It was clearly not good and she couldn't see him like this. She didn't know about Azkiya but surely Haaris didn't have any good memories related to her, his pale face and badly shivering appearance were the perfect proof of it.

"Haaris, are you alright?"

She closed her hand around his sweaty ones just to make him believe that she was with him, to calm him down. Her statement seemed to break the haze around him as Haaris watched her, blinking his eyes rapidly. He pursed his lips, nodding in affirmation his eyes still stuck on the boutique in front of them.

"C'mon, let's go home."

Ghazal ushered him towards the exit but stopped as Haaris gripped her wrist to halt her ascending steps, " But what about Adam's gifts? "

"We will buy them later. Come on."

Without any further argument, Haaris obeyed her orders. She was not in favor to let him drive the car in that condition so they just took the taxi to their home. All the way, she held his hand tightly and made soothing circles on the back of his hand just like her father used to do. Whether there were millions of misunderstandings between them, they were not on proper talking terms but her heart was squeezing painfully seeing Haaris going through this. Didn't know what was going on with him? Haaris was taking long breaths, the sound of his harsh breathing filling up the whole car.

"Tige- I ca-an't brea-"

Ghazal held both of his hands and started whiffing in them when she found that it was not doing anything to him, she wrapped her arm around him carefully resting her chin on his head and patting his cheek gently. He was having his panic attack which was making him paler than before with every moment.

"It will pass away Haaris. I am with you."

"Madam, should we head to the hospital? "

Ghazal glanced at the driver then at her husband who was trying to hide himself in her embrace, his face hidden in the crook of her neck.

"No just drop us to the address and please a little fast."

Haaris was still taking ragged breaths and her heart started trembling seeing him. Every atom of her body was praying for him, for his well being. Ghazal began to wipe the sweat out of his face using her handkerchief and kissed his forehead.

" It's all going to be okay. I am with you, no need to worry."

It felt like no energy had been left in Haaris thus with the help of the watchman, she took Haaris to their room. Firstly Ghazal gave him the antidepressant and then laid him properly on the bed. The hustle of past few minutes started showing its effects on her as her knee and rib were hurting badly. Ignoring the pain, she pulled up the duvet on Haaris who was looking somewhat stable now.

"Do-n't lea-v m-e..."

Haaris held her hand tightly stopping her movements and Ghazal shushed him sitting on his side, her fingers slowly moving in his damp hair in order to soothe him.

"I won't Haaris. Just relax, I am here." Ghazal whispered sweet nothings to him, kissing his forehead now and then. Some tears gathered in her eyes looking at the broken man in front of her. How tore his being was! He was scared, fearful of the thing she couldn't quite understand but as his condition had changed drastically she knew it was something really important to him.

"S-orr-y."  

"Why?"

"I ru-in A-dam birt-hday."

Ghazal slid a little down lying beside him and placing her head on his chest. Haaris might have felt it as his hand slowly wound around her shoulders in a weak grip.

"Adam really needs his father more than the birthday celebration."

"Al-ways sil-encin-g me wi-t y-ou-r re-pli-es."

His statement follwed by a low chuckle opened the gates of her tears fully and she too didn't stop herself from weeping, her face hidden in the crook of his neck. They had a very unusual relationship, who could say they were giving each other a silent treatment few hours before and now were in each other's embrace. Ghazal kissed his stubbled jaw, her thumb tracing his cheekbone.

"You made me scared."

"Tig-resses don't ge-t scar-ed."

"They get but just for their family. "

Ghazal touched their foreheads looking at his tired smile, praying heartily to Allah to make everything alright. One thing she had verily understood seeing Haaris like this, that she always wanted to stay at his side. The mere thought of something bad happening to him had shaken her heart like a dead leaf. There was not a point that she would leave him, it was just that they had to clear out any misunderstandings.

***

"Ma, pleash."

"No, Adam."

Faint whispers made him open his eyes only to squint them with the bright sunlight straining from their bedroom curtains. A low thump sounded beside him and next was a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Dad, itsh my birthday."

An amused laughter erupted from him at his son's excited self, he gently hugged him kissing his forehead.

Allah give my son happy and a long life. Aameen.

"Happy birthday, champ. "

A low click of the door got his attention where Ghazal was standing, her brows furrowed at Adam,  "Adi, what I said to you?"

"Ma, I didn't do anything. He on hish own woke up. Ashk dad."

"Yesh ma. He ish right."

Haaris cleared out mimicking Adam, forcing his son to giggle and Ghazal too pursed her lips to not to smile.

A gentle bliss seemed to be poured itself on his dull heart seeing his wife smiling at him. He didn't even want to stall on yesterday's topic, it was all beyond his imagination. How could Azkiya be present there? She was dead, she died because of him in that accident then how could she come back? That only thought and all his past moments of sorrow had made him so panicked that Haaris thought he would never be able to survive. The only thread of hope his life was holding was Ghazal's company. The other day when he told Ghazal about her company as the solace he was speaking only truth because that what he felt at that time too. She was really his tigress always saving him.

A soft touch of Ghazal's hand on his forehead pulled him out of his cluttering thoughts. " Alhamdulillah, fever is somewhat low now."

Haaris confusedly stared at his wife, he was unable to remember the last day except his encounter with Azkiya and his panic attack, all other things were just a hazy bubble. Ghazal might had understood his confusion as she gently pressed his hand in a consoling manner.

"Last night you had a little fever, might be due to the panic attack. But now its under control."

Haaris pulled her closer to him, holding her wrist so as her face was mere inches away from him. Ghazal held his shoulder tightly to keep the distance between them and narrowed her eyes at him.

"Have some shame, Adam is here."

"Are you both talking about my shurprishe?"

His innocent query made him laugh while Ghazal was too blushed to give any kind of response, her face seemed to be red showing the shyness she might have been feeling. Adam ran towards the door, " I should wait outside then. Ishn't it Ma?" and without hearing her reply he was out of the door. His son was seriously very happy about his birthday and he would make sure to make his big day memorable. With a swift motion, Haaris made her near him and gave a gentle kiss on her lips.

"I never lied to you Ghazal. Never. Whatever I did in that one month were my intentions, my feelings. You only came to know about the half-truth when I was talking to Yawar-"

Haaris confessed truthfully, his voice wavering at the edge stopping his speech and his eyes somewhat teary due to the fear of the outcome of his confession. Ghazal just silently stared at him for a moment then nuzzled his nose with a warm smile, relaxing him all over. Slowly picking his tears on her fingertips, she moved her hand in his messy hair.

"We have to sort out many things. But right now you need a nice breakfast and lot of rest."

"A nice breakfast with my wife."

Ghazal nodded leaving the room with a small smile. His mind was in a turmoil, he was facing so many problems at one time and Haaris didn't know where was the solution for them. The only relief was Ghazal, who would be at his side in every way. Just with this, he was sure he could face any trouble with ease.

In Shaa Allah.

***

"You won't let me get ready. "

Ghazal had to whisper yell at her husband who was constantly bugging her in between her preparations. Haaris shook his head, placing a kiss below her jaw and she only sufficed in glaring at him through the mirror. Haaris had planned a surprise for Adam and that's why they all were getting ready for the same. First time in Adam's life, he would be going to celebrate his birthday with such extravagance. She and Baba would wish Adam with his favorite home-baked cake. Her heart was grateful to Haaris for accepting Adam in his family just like his own son.

"How can I not bug you when you are looking beyond beautiful?"

Haaris took the necklace from her hand and helped her in wearing it, locking the hook at the nape of her neck he turned her to face him. Ghazal kept her eyes lowered due to the intensity of his eyes which were moving on her face warmly. He cupped her face in the bowl of his palms and softly kissed her lips, his thumb playing with her earring.

"Thanks for coming back, tigress. "

"Well, it was not my choice."

Ghazal giggled, poking his ribs forcing a chuckle out of him. After peppering her with more acts of adoration finally he let go of her and after some time they left for the venue which only Haaris knew.

"Dad, where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

It was a long route and Ghazal was thoroughly enjoying it with her husband and son who had too many topics to discuss. After a while, their car stopped in front of the building which seemed to closed as there were no lights and all. Haaris gestured her to come out opening her side door, Adam already in his arms.

"Is this the place?"

"Yep. Be patient."

As they moved slightly ahead, the path began to lit with colorful lights and at the top of the door, a large board was placed wishing Adam a happy birthday. It was a small cottage but was looking more than enticing with the lights, with their entry inside there was the bursting of balloons and party poppers. Nanna, Papa, Baba all were waiting for them with the cake in the middle. Haaris had also invited some of Adam's friends who were playing on the games in the corner of the hall. It all felt like a dream to her and to show her gratefulness Ghazal held his hand tightly and whispered a thank you to him, Haaris only gave a heartwarming smile in return to her.

"Ah, here is our birthday boy."

"Come here. "

"Dad, thish cake ish sho good. Shee."

Haaris nodded kissing his forehead and ushered him towards the table of cake and presents. With a loud cheer and applause of his family and friends, Adam cut his cake, his face beaming with a beautiful smile. The whole celebration went extremely perfect and when she was serving the dessert, Nanna came near her.

"How's my child? "

"Alhamdulillah Nanna. "

"I can see everything's good between you and Haaris. I'm happy."

Nanna patted her cheek and she too nodded with a smile. At least all was much better than before, still, some sort of uneasiness was present between them that was maybe because there were things they needed to talk about but if Allah wills that time would also pass.

"If any problem comes you know where to find me."

"Yes, absolutely. "

Ghazal laughed with Nanna, glancing at one side where Haaris was having a conversation with Baba and Papa. Her heart fluttered serenely as she found him already staring at her with an amused smile. Around eleven, their party came to an end when Adam gifted his friends some return gifts. Certainly, he became tired as he had fully enjoyed his big day and now was sleeping peacefully on the front seat.

Her wrist was in his gentle grip when she was about to enter the washroom to change her clothes after laying Adam on the bed properly, " We have to go somewhere. " and with that said Haaris picked her up in his arms, resulting in a squeal from her at his sudden action. Ghazal could hear the loud drumming of her heartbeats as she hesitantly coiled her hands around his neck. A soothing silence was enveloping them when they ascended the stairs, coming towards their terrace. Haaris sat in front of her after making her sit on the chair and held her hands tightly.

"Tigress, I know it's kind of sudden but I want to tell you everything which I had hidden from you. "

Ghazal cupped his face looking in his eyes, giving him a welcoming smile to continue because there was no need to be silent as their silence was leading their marriage to a downhill which was the least she wanted. Haaris placed a kiss on her knuckles after a heaving long sigh of desperation.

"I had been in a relationship of two years with a girl named Azkiya."

Azkiya, that was the same name Haaris was taking the other day in the mall. That girl certainly held a key position in his life as she remembered Haaris's condition when he had seen her. But Ghazal didn't feel any kind of jealousy or insecurity hearing about her because he was now hers, he had chosen her to be his wife despite her past. What else she needed?

***

Haaris searched the traces of surprise, shock, sadness, or even jealousy on Ghazal's face but there was not a single one. Instead, Ghazal was calmly waiting for him to continue, didn't she feel any kind of insecurity on the mention of other girls from her husband?

"At one night when we were returning from the bar, we were so drunk that I didn't know further but we got into a terrible accident. It was bad, very bad. All I could remember was pain, the loud crashing sound, and blood on Azkiya's face. Next time I woke up, I found myself in the hospital with the news that Azkiya was no more."

Ghazal tightened her hold on his hands in order to calm him. It was strange for him to speak about that topic which he never shared with anyone in his life. " That's why I get those nightmares because my mind only reminds me that it was my mistake that I have killed her. "

"Haaris, it was all written to happen this way. You can't change destiny."

Haaris nodded placing his head in her lap to hide those tears which had made way to his eyes. Ghazal was silently moving her fingers in his hair unknown of the fact that he had seen Azkiya that day which was unbelievable to a sane mind. It could be possible it was a mere image of his unclear mind.

"Why you are not angry hearing about my past? "

Haaris looked up asking the question which was poking him seeing his calm wife. Ghazal kissed his forehead, moving the hair away from his eyes.

"Everybody has a past Haaris. I too had a past, but moving on is important. I can understand your situation because still, I remember Farzan not due to he used to love me because he never did. But because you entered my life and began to show me a path which I never knew exist in married life."

Wrapping his arm around her nape of the neck, Haaris pulled her facedown so as he could feel her warm breath on his face. He kissed her tenderly just to show her that he was the luckiest person on the earth to have her as his wife. Ghazal cupped his cheek, "Can I ask you one thing, Haaris?"

"Yes, of course."

"What about Yawar? Why he entered our relationship? "

Haaris took a long sigh, moving his hands on his face in nervousness. What would be her response to his confession? He knew she would not leave him but he didn't want her to get hurt with the truth.

"I used to have a box of Azkiya's reminders; her love letters, gifts and all. Yawar stole it and promised me to return it back when-"

"When you will marry me and make me fall in love with you."

Haaris dejectedly nodded, " He told me to leave you after one month then only he would return me those things. Those were the only things which used to give me some relief in tough times and that's all I had. I had no choice, Ghazal, I never wanted to pull you into all of this. But it's only truth and I am saying it again, my feelings were never fake for you. My every word, my every gesture for you was not an act, it was, is and will be from my heart, forever. "

Haaris was unable to look in her eyes but a sound of sniffing grabbed his attention, he looked up to find Ghazal weeping, her face covered with her hand.

"Why there are people like Yawar even exist, Haaris? He ruined us, he brought havoc in our lives just for his own pleasure and revenge."

Revenge! What was there for revenge? What she was talking about? Haaris sat beside her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders kissing her temple. Ghazal was still crying hiding her face in his chest, she was definitely going from something which he needed to know. Maybe he was not the only one who got suffered from Yawar, maybe she had been also.

"What revenge, tigeress?"

Ghazal quickly shook her head, wiping her tears and Haaris halted her motion with a firm grip on her arms which made her look at him. She was biting her lips and tears were still flowing from her eyes.

"What are you hiding from me?"

"Do you trust me, Haaris?"

"Yes, absolutely."

Ghazal was looking afraid of sharing the piece of information with him maybe because of his angry responses to earlier times. He patted her cheek in adoration, "I will listen to you properly without getting angry."

"Yawar had tried to rape me on-ce when you we-re in my reha-b."

Haaris felt the only nerve which was keeping him sane till now, burst in anger hearing her words. How dare he! He had tried to lay his filthy hands on his wife, he would really pay for this. Haaris cursed under his breath in irritation, Yawar should pray for his life because there was not a point that he would let him go with any working part in his body.