Chapter 28 - With or Without


The fire did not stave off the cold much. They stood close together drinking coffee while the bacon sizzled, and CJ slept.

Conner had slept soundly despite Harry and CJ's heated exchange, but he was clearly annoyed.

"I don't suppose you two got any sleep last night," Conner said. "Look Harry, I don't care if you want to knock off a few with a prostitute, I did, but I didn't bring one along. This puts a damper on the whole vacation. You take the cake."

"You've already said that. Look, like I said, we'll get rid of her and go on from there. Screw Yellowstone. I've been there before and it's not that much." He avoided eye contact. "You think I'm being irresponsible, don't you?"

"Man, you kidnap a prostitute, get yourself shot by some goddamn lunatic, and now we are lost in the middle of God-knows-where. We're supposed to be having a vacation. Not an adventure."

CJ stirred in the tent.

"Why don't you get her up and we can eat and then discuss what to do," Conner said.

Harry went inside the tent.

"Just wake her up, will ya?"

Conner finished cooking the bacon and fished out the black bread they picked up at Safeway. He found a tiny branch with two tongs, whittled them to points, and stuck the ends into the crust of the bread. It held firmly enough so he could toast the bread over the fire. Harry and CJ emerged from the tent, but he was in no mood to talk to her.

"Why don't you have CJ slice some of the bread and toast it on those twigs," he suggested. "And get some of the cereal too."

"We're out of milk and besides we don't know how long we'll be out here before we come to another Safeway," Harry said. "We ought to keep that for another meal." He took the plates they had and dished out food for the three of them. CJ said little, and Conner thought it might be because she overheard them talking.

"You ok, CJ?"

"I don't talk much first thing," she said. "It takes me some time to warm up."

They ate silently staring at the fire. The stones were glowing red at the bottom of the pit beneath the black and white chunks of wood that now turned into charcoal. The fire danced in the cold morning air. Harry tried to follow one flame as it flickered, furiously licking the grey morning like a snake testing the air. He tried to count the tips of the flames.

"Maybe we should get more wood for the fire," he said.

Conner sulked and stared at the fire.

They felt safe by their fire, their car just down the path, a warm fire, and food. "Growing up," Harry said, "my father would take us to the east side of town on occasion, just to see how other people lived. We'd look at the river below the waterfront and see the hobos. They would sit around a fire built inside an old washtub or some sort of can. Anything to keep warm." Harry gazed into the fire, lost in his memory for a moment. "Father wanted to show me how tenuous life is. One's situation can change at a moment."

CJ had stopped eating and stared at Harry. Conner knew she was infatuated with him, but he couldn't get over the feeling she was using them. He knew they could always go home, forgoing the rest of the trip. The memories of Skinny and CJ and the Arapaho incident would vanish.

Most likely he would use those memories in one of his plays: The Damned Diner.

CJ ate slowly. She looked into the fire and remained quiet. On occasion, she would look up and smiled at Harry, as if to reassure herself she was not alone and that she was safe.

Conner watched her eat. Her blue cheerful eyes looked around at everything. She glanced his way and he found himself smiling at her. Then he noticed she was flirting with Harry: a wink and a curled lip. She squeezed her breasts together and opened her legs.

It pissed him off that he was even put in this predicament. He drank his coffee and she looked at him, threw her arm around his shoulder, and kissed him on the cheek.

"Here, what's that?"

"Thanks," was all she said. He got up and flittered around, picking things up and making sure they were ready to move at a moment's notice.

CJ watched him.

Her mascara had streaked, and Harry noticed it for the first time. "Are you wearing make-up?"

She turned to him holding a piece of bacon, thick and crisp, crunching it. "What'd ya think? I look this good without it?"

Conner took the dishes to wash them in the stream. The scraps would make a snack for some creature like a bear, or coyote. Maybe a fish or crawdad.

"You're feeding the fishes," Harry said. Then he turned to CJ and said, "I hadn't given it any thought. You'd look good without make-up."

She ate more. Harry thought about the bears. "You know we haven't seen any bears out here. Do you suppose there are any?" Then he got up, grabbed his toothbrush, and headed for the stream. He looked for a flat spot and cleared off the snow so he could kneel and leaned over the water and began brushing.

CJ appeared next to him.

Without looking he said, "I don't suppose this will do the fishes any good."

"Fuck 'em," she said.

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