Author Note: This is a short skit which is free to perform but not to publish. Please comment below if you perform it, I'd love to know how it was received.

Staging Notes

Set: Auctioneer with a high table (or pulpit) and mallet. Two rows of two chairs are facing The Auctioneer, at an angle. Person 1, 2 are seated in the front. Person 3, 4 in the row behind. The face of Person 4 should be clearly visible. Please note when all Persons bid, they must raise a hand, wait to be acknowledged by the Auctioneer, then speak.

Characters: Auctioneer, Person 1, Person 2, Person 3, Person 4

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Auctioneer: (Bangs mallet, gestures to an imaginary person) Sold to the lady in the large hat. And now we come to the big item, the one and only Jesus Christ. This is an incredible opportunity to be able to follow Jesus Christ, the Saviour of the world, the second person of the Trinity and God's only Son. His worth is incomparable. What is the most you can give?

(Persons 1, 2, 3 look bored. Person 4 looks thoughtful).

Person 1: Two hours on Sunday.

Auctioneer: (incredulous) Two hours on Sunday? Did I hear correctly? Is that all? Did I mention that Jesus Christ offers eternal life to all those who follow him?

Person 2: (sighing) Two services Sunday.

Auctioneer: Two services Sunday? I don't think you quite understand. This is guaranteed salvation we are talking here. Everlasting life in heaven.

Person 3: Two services and a bible study during the week.

Auctioneer: Did I mention that your sins are forgiven? All the wrong things you have done are wiped out. You become right with God. Surely there must be a higher bid than that?

Person 2: (unenthusiastically) Two services Sunday, a bible study and I'll tithe.

Auctioneer (in disbelief) This is ridiculous. You want to pay so little for Jesus Christ when the rewards are so great? You get heaven, forgiveness and a life on earth as one of God's chosen people! Surely there must be another offer? Is there someone willing to come up to the reserve price?

(Person 1, 2, 3 look at the ground. Person 4 is conflicted)

Auctioneer: Well then, ladies and gentlemen, I regret to announce that this item is withdrawn...

Person 4: Wait, wait (runs to stand in front of the Auctioneer) I'll give everything I have.

Auctioneer: (bangs mallet) Sold, at the only acceptable price.