Everything spiraled downwards so fast. I should have seen it coming. Almost right after the BAD tour, things started changing. It seemed like it was just getting worst. All these accusations came up, I can barely go half a day without taking some kind of medication, and I recently had the worst interview with a journalist named Martin Bashir that made me look like an absolute monster and freak. The vitiligo has gotten to a point where I look completely white and people joke and make rumors about it saying I didn’t want to be black; I hated my skin color because of it. It was partly true because I didn’t want to be reminded of Joseph, but I wouldn’t go through lengths like this. I have no control over the disease and I couldn’t do anything but let it happen.

I stared blankly at the judge with my sunglasses as he spoke. I didn’t even know about what, I couldn’t focus. All these things going on have made the amount of sleep I get less and I’ve lost a lot of weight and it’s made me have this skeleton like appearance, but I didn’t mind. My eyes wandered over to the boy who was on the other podium, fidgeting nervously. A bunch of emotions arose inside of me. His name was Jordan Chandler, a cancer survivor. He was someone I had let into my heart and home, and he betrayed me like this. He says I molested him and the words he used to describe how I supposedly “touched him” were just gruesome and couldn’t be believable that words like this have come out of a child’s mouth.

I sighed and looked down. There was barely anything to understand now. Outside, when I was coming in and I knew they’d be there when I left, there were hundreds- thousands of people supporting me. Well, some of them were. Most were holding up signs that showed they supported and loved me, but there were others that believed the tabloids and called me a child molester and “Wako Jacko”. It hurt my heart, but my emotions were balanced out with the love my fans were sending.

I know they liked this. They loved it. They probably constructed this evil plot themselves, and they were laughing at me right now. I didn’t like this, I didn’t like all of this negative attention and feedback.

I want to escape.

---

// June 25, 2009 //

Today seemed to be a good day. I’ve taken a break from the ‘This Is It’ rehearsals. I wasn’t worried about them because they hadn’t bothered me for a long time, for once in my life—something I haven’t experienced in a long time… I felt safe.

Paris, Prince, and Blanket played around with their toys on the floor, mysteriously calm today. “Can I play with you guys?” I asked as I sat next to them. They looked to me and smiled with a nod. They had Legos and were trying to build a tall tower, but it kept falling. “How about we make a base first for it?” I suggested. “What’s a base?” Blanket asked.

“It’s just like the bottom of a structure or building like—I’ll show you.” Moving some of the Legos to myself, I started to make a square bottom for them to build upon. When I was finished I pushed it back to them. “See? Now you can build on top of it.”

“Thanks daddy!” they said with a smile as they started to build again. “No prob—” just then they doorbell rang. I cocked my head and raised an eyebrow, curious about whom it was. Then I remembered I had invited my personal doctor over, Conrad Murray. I’ve been having serious trouble sleeping and resting, and I needed help. I needed my milk. One of the maids started to go towards the door and I beat her to it. She gave me an odd look and I smiled shyly. “Sorry, I have to take this. This is personal.” She gave me another odd look before nodding and walking away.

Before I opened the door, I felt a tug on my leg and looked down to see Blanket looking sadly at me. The doorbell rang again and I ignored it as I bent down to his level. “What’s wrong buddy?” he gave me a hug and squeezed my neck hard. I hugged him back, a little confused. “I love you daddy. I don’t want them to take you away.”

“They? Who’s they? Who’s gonna take me away? What are you talking about Blanket?” I pulled him away a little bit and he looked like he might cry. The door bell rang again followed by Conrad calling out for me again, “Michael, it’s me!” I stood up and put a hand on the doorknob after giving Blanket a quick kiss on the forehead. “We’ll talk about this later, Blanket, okay?” he didn’t give any response as he slowly dragged his feet away walking in the opposite direction. I looked at him strangely before opening the door. What was wrong with him?

“Good afternoon, Michael.” Conrad said. I turned back to him with a smile and let him in. “So, it’s just getting worse?” he asked and I put a finger up to my mouth, signaling to be quiet. I looked back to see if anyone was listening but they seemed caught up in their own business. I felt so bad doing this behind everyone’s back… but I want to rest. “Come up to my room, it’s a safer place to speak.”

I shut the door behind him when we made it to my room after I made sure no one was listening in. Conrad put his doctor bag down and looked at me concerned. “Michael, explain what’s wrong.”

I moved further away from the door and leaned on a wall, facing Conrad. He eyes me carefully, making me look down a little shameful. “I’m just tired, I can’t sleep. Even if I do manage, it’s never more than an hour or so. I’m usually so exhausted and I have the concert coming up and I can’t perform under these conditions. I just need to sleep.”

“And how do you suppose we do that?”

Letting out a sigh and looking up I replied, “The milk?” Conrad’s face turned serious and I could feel myself blushing. I knew it was a bad idea and doing it behind my family’s back was wrong, but I was desperate. The look he was giving me right now made me feel like the worst person on Earth. “Michael, we’ve discussed this. You can’t keep doing this, we have to try and let your body relax in the natural way. Pumping your body with all these medical drugs will damage your system, you’re becoming addictive. I’m sorry, but the answer is no.”

“Please. Please Conrad.” I could feel my eyes watering, but I didn’t know why. Wait, I did. I needed it. I needed the Propofol, and he was the only one who would and could give it to me. “I need it so bad please. I want this concert to be perfect and I need to be well rested for it to be perfect. This is the last one, the last tour and then I’m done, I swear. Please, just this, please. You’re the only one I can go to Conrad… please, help me.” The tears just started pouring and I was embarrassed, but I couldn’t control it. “Please?”

Conrad looked at me sympathetically and sighed. “Fine, Michael.”

---

I felt at peace as I lay in my bed. The bag next to my bed slowly gave me Propofol and I could hear my heart rate on the monitor. It was peaceful and scary at the same time, but I was so happy I didn’t mind. The beeping soon seemed soft to me as it lulled me into a sleep and I took a deep breath from the oxygen mask on my face. Before I fell asleep, I know I saw a shadow loom over me.

* * *

The scene seemed familiar as I stood in a dark place. Seeing the silhouettes in the distant brought back my memory and I groaned, but felt a pang of fear in my chest. I didn’t say anything, knowing they were up to something as I neared them. “Why so quiet?” they rasped and I cringed at their voices, but kept my face straight and just shrugged. I could see their smiles again, but not their faces. I don’t understand how others did this, how they could go through the trials and torture for the money and fame all to just end up in hell in the end. It wasn’t worth it, but when I joined, I didn’t know better.

“Are you ready to obey? Will you obey us and not question us now? We will give you all you want. You’ve upset us when we haven’t talked to you, it angered us, but we give you one last chance.” Glaring at them, I shook my head no and their smiles disappeared. “We’re disappointed, Michael. We thought you would be different and give in. We’ve given you warnings and chances, yet you’ve ignored them.”

“So what’re you gonna do?” I asked, suddenly feeling nervous by their words. I knew it was them. But right now I could care less about what they did. I just wanted to get out of here. They smiled again, knowing that they were getting to me. “It’s over, Michael.”

And with that everything around me began to disappear. There was a loud roaring, a long beeping sound as images began flashing through my mind of what happened in my life, and then silence.

“Mr. Jackson? MICHAEL?!”

---

Another beeping sound that wasn’t as calming as before woke me up. A bright light hit my eyes and I had to squint to a point where my eyes were barely even open. “Where am I?”

“Oh my God, he’s awake!” a voice shouted, making me cringe. A hand touched my arm and I squinted to see my mother with tears in her eyes. “Mother? What happened?”

“LaToya, call the doctors, please.” She said calmly, but her voice was a bit shaky. I felt sad at it and looked to see a figure that I assumed was LaToya walk out of the room. There were a lot of people here—my immediate family. Why were they here? Where is here?

“Mother, where am I?” I asked as I tried to sit up. She pushed me back down and I didn’t resist. I could hear soft murmurs of my name, but I focused on my mother. “You’re in the hospital.” She said softly. I wanted to widen my eyes, but that would let in too much light. “Why?” as I asked, she shut her eyes, allowing more tears to flow. I looked sadly at my family around me, my heart ached.

“You almost died, man.” I looked and saw Tito. He also had a sad expression on his face, but I was too shocked to reply. The beeping on the heart rate monitor quicken slightly, alarming everyone else. “How?”

“Oh, Mr. Jackson. Thank God you’re awake.” An unfamiliar voice spoke. I looked up and saw LaToya walking in with a man who I assumed was my doctor. “We thought we were going to lose you, you seemed so out of it, there was almost nothing we could do. We were going to leave you here with your family until you… flat lined. But you’re awake now and that’s all that matters.”

“Why am I here?” I asked again. He looked at me a little sadly.

“You had an overdose of the drug Propofol, I have no idea why there was so much in your system. It almost made you rest so much until you died, but you’re awake now, please, relax. I’m just going to check your vitals.”

My eyes felt teary as I started remembering. “I’m sorry.” I whispered to my mother. They had had an intervention recently about my drug use, but of course, I didn’t listen and here I am. I put them through this and I feel horrible. She smiled and nodded softly/ “Thank you.” The doctor turned to me momentarily, knowing I was talking to him, and gave me a smile.

“I’ll go alert the media.” LaToya said as she started to walk out. “NO!” I shouted, scaring the whole room including myself. They looked at me oddly, waiting. I shouted at first because it was instinct. I didn’t want the paparazzi to know, at least not yet, but then I got an idea. I looked over to Tito and Marlon who stared at me weirdly. After all these years, I’m sure they still hadn’t told our parents and neither have I—especially now. But now I know we have to. It’s the only way this will work.

I have to fake my death.

~ THE END ~

A/N: I hope you enjoyed, please leave feedback both good and bad. Thank you for reading and have a blessed day. All of you.