Once we heard Uncle Scrooge was going to be golfing against Glomgold, Huey decided to try for a Merit Badge for Sports Commentary. It requires a co-commentator that isn't a Troop Leader or Troop Leader in-training, so he went with Launchpad since he just drives the bus for Junior Woodchuck events. He couldn't pick me since I'm a Troop Leader in-training. I'll be a fully fledged Troop Leader next year if all goes well.

As we waited for Glomgold, Uncle Scrooge explains, "Get excited, kids! Golf is in our blood. Your ancestor, Black Donald McDuck, invented the sport. Of course, he lost so badly that the ensuing temper tantrum caused King James to ban golfing across all of Scotland."

I say, "Was Uncle Donald named after him? That sounds like something he would do."

Louie asks, "And we're proud of that in some way?"

Dewey says, "I don't know, man. Golf carts? Hitting things with sticks? Not being grounded for said hitting? Sounds kind of awesome."

Louie says, "It's a sport where you try not to score points to make it end faster. Hard pass."

Uncle Scrooge says, "Trust me, you'll love it! The quiet strategy. The intense focus. The -"

Webby blows a horn, and I cover my ears from the loud sound.

Uncle Scrooge groans, "Semi-permanent hearing loss."

Webby exclaims, "Go, Scrooge! Boo, Glomgold! Yay, custom t-shirts!"

Uncle Scrooge says, "I'm glad you're excited, dear, but this sport requires a certain decorum."

Just as he says that, we hear Huey yell, "Everybody move!"

The golf cart he and Launchpad we in bursts through a bush next to me, and they land in a small pool of water.

As they start sinking, Launchpad says, "This lake will be used for the swimming portion of the competition."

Once we've pulled them and the golf cart out of the water and got it running again, Uncle Scrooge starts practicing his swing.

He says, "Will one of you be my caddy? I need someone to help me carry these cumbersome clubs."

I say, "I'll do it."

Uncle Scrooge unloads his bag on my shoulder, saying, "Great! Thank you, dear." As I adjust to the golf bag's weight, Uncle Scrooge turns to Webby, saying, "Alright, Webbigail. Care to -"

He interrupts himself when he sees her making a sign.

I ask, "Uh, Webs? What'cha doin'?"

Webby holds up her sign that says 'Team Scrooge', and says, "Oh, sorry. I've never been to a sport before. But don't worry. I'm going to be the best fan."

Uncle Scrooge asks, "Did you want to give it a go?"

Webby sets down her sign, saying, "I'm good. Golf clap!"

She claps quietly, and walks away.

Uncle Scrooge turns to Louie, asking, "How about you, lad? Up for a -"

Louie interrupts him, saying, "No, gross. No. Not even a little."

Dewey exclaims, "Are you guys kidding me?! A chance to learn the sport our family invented from the greatest player who ever lived, I assume because I don't follow golf?! I want in!"

Uncle Scrooge says, "Atta-boy. Let's hone that... wildly misplaced enthusiasm, shall we? We'll start with your swing."

Glomgold finally arrived, exiting the building where we checked in, saying, "Practice all you want, McDuck. You won't be winning this year!"

Uncle Scrooge taunts, "You say that every year, Flinty, and every year you go home crying."

Glomgold exclaims, "My eyes dry out very easily! But this year, I'll prove that I am the best Scottish billionaire golfer! I've hired the world's best player... to be my caddy!"

A smiling tiger exits the building, kindly saying, "Okay, if you want to be a winner, just follow these three rules -"

Glomgold interrupts him, yelling, "I'm already a winner! Nobody tells Flintheart Glomgold what to do! You're fired!"

The tiger simply frowns, drops Glomgold's bag onto the ground, and walks away. Glomgold tries to pick up the golf bag, but it falls off his rounded shoulders.

He turns to the closest person, who happens to be Louie, and says, "You there. Green one. How would you like the honor of caddying under the great Flintheart Glomgold?"

Louie responds, "Eh."

Glomgold tries again, "A chance to bask in the collective glory of victory?"

Louie groans, "Blargh."

Glomgold deadpans, "I'll tip by the hole."

Well, that got Louie's attention.

He says, "Meh. If I'm gonna be bored, I might as well get paid for it."

Glomgold gloats to Uncle Scrooge, "Ha! Your own nephew is abandoning you! Soon, there will be nobody left to support you."

Just as he says that, fireworks in support of Uncle Scrooge go off.

Webby exclaims, "Sorry! Timer went off early!"

I say, "And I'm caddying for him. What was that about 'nobody supporting him'? Have fun losing."

Then the coin toss began to decide who would go first, and Glomgold barely even tries to hide that he switched the coin to one with double heads. I mean, he just put the real coin in his left pocket and pulled the trick coin out from his right pocket! What an idiot.

He tosses the trick coin, and foolishly calls, "Tails!"

The coin obviously lands on heads, meaning he lost. Glomgold starts yelling in frustration, trying and failing to throw the trick coin in the ocean.

Uncle Scrooge says, "You know what? You win. You can go first, let's just move on already."

Glomgold cheers, "Ha! I win! You lose!"

He starts dancing sloppily, and we finally start getting set up for the first hole.

Glomgold gloats, "That coin toss was only the beginning, Scrooge! The moment of reckoning is at hand!"

As Glomgold continued, Uncle Scrooge groans, "Ugh. It'll take another ten minutes before he takes a shot. Come on lad, let's work on your drive. Lass, you better come with, too."

He leads Dewey and I away so he can teach Dewey away from Glomgold's loud, distracting voice.

Uncle Scrooge says, "Focus. Filter out all distractions -"

Webby interrupts him, exclaiming, "Go, Scrooge!"

Uncle Scrooge says, "And remember: hips back, shoulders down, tail ticked, controlled swing..."

As he explained, Dewey wound up, jumped, and hit the ball as hard as he could, the ball stopping so far away it was hard to see.

He asks, "Was that okay?"

I say, "That was so cool, Dew!"

Uncle Scrooge adds, "Ach, you're a natural! A little unpolished, sure, but if we could focus that swing, you'll be almost as good as me one day."

Dewey asks with hopeful stars in his eyes, "Really?"

Webby says, "With a teacher like you, he could be even better!"

Dewey exclaims with a more hopeful expression, "Really?!

I say, "Of course! You're great at golf."

Uncle Scrooge, wearing his ego on his sleeve, says, "Or, you know, nearly as good, but not quite. After years of work and practice. No need getting his hopes up."

Glomgold suddenly yells, "Scrooge! Quit stalling! You're up!"

We head back to Glomgold, and Huey narrates, "Scrooge, the returning champion, is approaching the first hole."

Launchpad adds, "He's probably worried Glomgold will use his one free tackle before the speed round in the third quarter."

I ask, "What are you talking about? What do you think they're playing?"

Launchpad exclaims, "One heck of a game!"

Huey narrates, "Taking his time with the first shot -"

Louie interrupts him, saying, "Tell me about it. Just hit the ball!"

His focus broken, Uncle Scrooge exclaims, "Yah!"

The ball soars over the trees, landing in the weeds.

Huey narrates, "Ouch. And it's deep in the rough."

Glomgold laughs, "Nice shot, Scroogie. Decide to take a shortcut through the weeds? Unless... Boy! Why didn't you tell me about the shortcut through the weeds?!"

I walk off after Uncle Scrooge, keeping a hand on the golf bag to keep it from slipping off my shoulder as we go into the rough for his ball.

As we're searching, Uncle Scrooge mutters, "Ach, I can't believe it. I haven't had a shot that bad in forty years!"

We find his ball in the center of a circle of what seem to be tall, mystical stones engraved with runes I can't decipher.

I mutter, "What the heck?"

Just then, Huey and Launchpad scream as the golf cart gets stuck in between two of the tall stones.

Launchpad says, "Ah, yes. Scrooge went for the classic 'magic forest stones' bonus. Risky, but it paid off."

Glomgold, Louie, and Dewey finally join us, and Glomgold says, "Ooh, it wasn't a shortcut. The great McDuck finally hit a right clunker!"

Uncle Scrooge tries to cover, "I did not. I was simply... getting a lay of the terrain!" He then turns to Dewey and I, adding, "See, the key to a good golf game -"

Glomgold interrupts him, saying, "Take the penalty, and let's get back to the course."

Uncle Scrooge says, "A Scotsman plays it where it lands."

He steps closer to his ball, and the stone runes start glowing.

I say, "Uncle Scrooge, t- this doesn't feel right."

He ignores me, and hits his ball. The second he does, we're enveloped in a beam of light.

Uncle Scrooge awes, "Heavenly hollyhock."

The light disappears, revealing that we're in a new location surrounded by a thick mist, and the back half of the golf cart was left behind.

Webby gasps, "Mythical glowing stones, mysterious teleportation circles... Do you know what this means?!"

Louie drops Glomgold's bag, exclaiming, "No more golf! Woo hoo!"

Huey asks, "Does anybody see any clues about where we are?"

I say, "No, and I'm not so sure we can get home yet. That mist looks pretty thick."

Webby says, "There are these two orbs."

Louie murmurs, "Hmm... Interesting."

Dewey points to a small hole in the ground just before the mist, adding, "And it looks like they'd fit in that hole over there."

Louie murmurs, "Oh, okay..."

Glomgold pokes at one of the orbs with his golf club, receiving a shock.

He exclaims, "Ah! Cannae touch the blasted things." He tries touching it again, exclaiming, "Yah!"

Uncle Scrooge examines the runes, and finds two clubs that look like they were carved by hand.

He says, "Maybe we can use these clubs."

Louie exclaims, "Oh, no! Oh, no, nononononono! Guys, it's golf. It's still golf! Okay, that's it! I'm going home!"

He turns around, and the mist gets closer.

Louie gasps, asking, "Where did home go?"

Huey narrates, "Welcome back to the Billionaire's Club Classic where, in a bizarre turn of events, the players have become trapped in some sort of mystical faery rhelm, but they remain undeterred."

Launchpad adds, "For more, we go to two tiny horses."

I ask, "Wait, what? Where?"

Huey asks, "What are you- Ah!"

Two small colorful horses wearing Tam O'Shanter hats on their wet manes appear out of the mist, one with pink fur, mane, and tail, and the other with purple fur, mane, and tail.

The pink one says, "Greetings! We're Briar and Bramble, the keepers of this rhelm."

Huh. I wouldn't have expected them to talk.

Webby asks, "Talking animals wearing clothes?"

Dewey asks, "Oh, no. Did we die? Are we in Webby heaven?"

I say, "I'm pretty sure we're not dead, Dew. Though, this is still weird."

The purple horse, I assume Bramble, says, "Bet you're wondering what this place is."

Louie asks, "It's a mystical golf course, right?"

Huey adds, "Did ancient Scottish druids build a secret course so they could keep playing golf even after Black Donald got it banned?"

The pink one, probably Briar, says in a surprised tone, "Uh, yup. That's all correct."

I say, "It was pretty obvious once we saw the golf balls and clubs."

Bramble says, "Here, hop on our backs. We'll give you a tour!"

They turn around, showing us their backs.

Webby runs up to them, exclaiming, "Ooh!" She stops herself, however, asking, "Wait, why are your manes wet?" She gasps, "You're kelpies, aren't you? You tempt people on your backs and carry them off into the sea!"

Bramble nervously says, "Oh, nononono. We just... got out of the shower, that's all." We all stare blankly at them, and she rolls her eyes, admitting, "Fine. That is generally our plan."

Briar says, "C'mon, Bramble. If they're so smart,they must know all about the treasure at the end of the course."

Uncle Scrooge asks, "Treasure?"

Glomgold copies, "Treasure?"

Briar explains, "First to complete this course will win the priceless Druid's Cup."

Bramble adds, "Thus proving them to be the finest golfer in every plane of reality."

Glomgold awes, "Ooh!"

Louie skeptically says, "Uh huh, okay. Well, anyone else think we should ignore the murder ponies and go home?"

I say, "I second that."

Briar says, "You'll all be sent home safely as soon as you finish the course."

Bramble adds, "That is, if you finish the course." Briar elbows her, and she nervously adds, "Uh, um, did we mention the trophy has custom engraving? Ooh!"

Dewey says to himself, "Dewey, you've found your calling."

He tries to grab the club, but Uncle Scrooge stops him, saying, "Easy, lad. You can't just flail that thing at random anymore. There's too much at stake. If we lose the ball, we don't go home. We have to play it smart."

Briar says, "You might want to get started. It can be awful hard to play once those mists roll in."

Dewey says, "C'mon, we're wasting time."

Glomgold says to Louie, "Caddy, my club! Caddy?"

Louie clears his throat, and Glomgold begrudgingly gives him some money. Louie gives him one of the metal clubs, and Glomgold exclaims in pain when he attempts to hit the ball, shocking himself again.

Bramble says, "Hop on our backs. We'll take you to the next hole, and definitely not to a watery grave."

We all exclaim in response, "No!"

Briar mutters, "You are the least fun victims ever."

At the next hole, Glomgold goes first, and the nearby waterfall grows a tentacle that grabs the ball.

Glomgold exclaims, "What the -"

Launchpad says, "Ooh, should've seen that coming."

Huey asks, "How? How could he have possibly seen that coming?"

Glomgold runs up to the water tentacle, saying, "Give it back, you overgrown puddle!"

The tentacle drops his ball, and picks him up instead.

He exclaims, "Ah! Caddy, help!" Louie just stands there, and Glomgold reaches into his pocket, flicking Louie a quarter, saying, "Ugh, here!"

The quarter lands in Louie's hand, and he says, "Ugh, it's like you don't even want to be saved."

Louie just hands Glomgold his club, and stands back over by the rest of us.

Uncle Scrooge says to us, "Old golf tip: let Flinty spring the trap. The rest is just patience." Another tentacle appears out of the waterfall, smacking his ball back to him every time, making him grow frustrated as he repeats, "Patience. Patience. Patience!"

Dewey says, "Ah! If you would just let me -"

Uncle Scrooge interrupts him, saying, "Not the time for a reckless clobber." The tentacle sends his ball back again, and he exclaims, "Ach! C'mon, you blasted tentacle! And besides, you cannae just sub in. It's against the rules of golf!"

The kelpies appear in the water beside us, and Briar says, "It's okay. Druid Golf allows for two-somes."

Bramble adds, "Water's great, by the way!"

We ignore her, and Uncle Scrooge begrudgingly agrees, "Oh, give it a go. But don't be too discouraged if you don't make it."

Dewey hits the ball, and the tentacle smacks it back. Dewey immediately hits the ball again, sending it through the two water tentacles, freeing Glomgold and landing the ball in the hole.

Webby and I cheer, "Go, Dewey!"

I add, "Way to go, bro!"

Uncle Scrooge says through clenched teeth, "Good shot, lad. Very proud of you."

I say in confusion, "You don't sound proud."

Dewey, not having heard me, exclaims, "Yeah! Scrooge and Dewey taking on the world one hole at a time!"

Huey narrates, "There you have it. Another brash, young upstart destined to surpass his aging mentor."

Uncle Scrooge deadpans, "Is the commentary still necessary?"

Huey responds, "It helps me feel in control during a, frankly, out of control situation."

Launchpad adds, "I like talking like this because it makes everything sound important. Baloney trampoline."

I say, "Whatever helps you feel more comfortable."

We traverse through a majority of the course, with Uncle Scrooge barely letting Dewey play. At the seventeenth hole, I can tell how frustrated Dewey's getting with not being able to play, and with the tiny putts Uncle Scrooge is doing.

Huey narrates, "Scrooge is still in the lead on the seventeenth hole, but Glomgold is closing in."

Launchpad adds, "Hey, so is that weird mist."

I shutter, "Don't remind me. Just looking at that mist makes me feel uncomfortable."

Webby compliments Uncle Scrooge with each small movement of the ball, saying, "Nice job. Nice job. And... nice job."

Dewey says, "Not nice enough. Glomgold's going to pass us!"

Glomgold exclaims, "You bet your ballast I am! I'll prove once and for all I'm the best golfer in this or any other - Ah! Caddy!"

The ground under him crumbles, and he just barely manages to grab onto the ledge before falling into the void of mist below us. Louie pops his head off the ledge, and Glomgold hands him some money. All Louie does is hand Glomgold his club, leaving him to pull himself up from the ledge.

Dewey says, "I'm pretty sure I can get it to the hole with one swing. Let me go!"

Uncle Scrooge asks, "And risk dumping it down into the water? Absolutely not."

Just then, we hear Webby's voice without seeing her mouth move, and realize it's Briar imitating her, "Aw, give him a chance! If he hits it into the water, we can jump on the kelpies to get it. I'm the small girl duck, you can trust me!"

Bramble taps her shoulder when she realizes they've been caught, and they both slip back into the water.

Dewey pleads, "C'mon, I can do this!"

Uncle Scrooge asks, "Do what? Whack the ball blindly?"

Dewey exclaims, "Into the hole, yes! Like I've been doing all day! Why don't you trust me to make this?"

Uncle Scrooge responds, "You don't have the experience. It takes time. Effort- Wait!"

Dewey yanks the club out of Uncle Scrooge's hands, and whacks the ball right into the hole.

He exclaims, "Haha, it's so easy!" Uncle Scrooge growls, and he adds, "I'm sorry. I just knew I could, so I -"

Uncle Scrooge yells, "You pull a club out of a Scotsman's hand, you'd best be prepared to knock him out with it!"

I say, "But he made the shot. Isn't that what matters?"

Uncle Scrooge ignores me, and continues to talk down to Dewey, "You disobeyed me, and risked the entire game with your showboating."

Dewey asks, "I'm showboating? This whole thing has been about you and how great you are. You're so worried that someone might actually be better than you at something that you keep -"

Uncle Scrooge interrupts him, saying, "See here. I am an inter-dimentionally ranked golfer."

Dewey angrily says, "Whatever. I'm over this dumb sport anyway. Finish the course so we can go home."

I slide his golf bag off my shoulder and drop it at his feet, adding, "I'm done helping you today. Carry your own dumb bag yourself."

As we walk away, I hear Uncle Scrooge say, "Now, hold on. I didn't mean to -"

Glomgold shoves him aside, saying, "Out of the way, McDuck."

We find ourselves in a broken down area filled with statues of golfers in cocky action poses.

Huey says, "The last hole."

Uncle Scrooge says, "Looks like some sort of hall of fame. Well, your old Uncle Scrooge will be joining it soon enough, eh?"

Dewey says, "Let's just get this over with."

I add, "Maybe you don't deserve to be in a hall of fame if you're so upset about your own nephew being better than you."

I watch his face fall slightly, and feel a tug at my heart. Maybe I was being too harsh to him, but he was being too harsh to Dewey. Uncle Scrooge starts getting ready to play the last hole, determination taking over the dejected look on his face.

Huey narrates, "Scrooge lining up, and none too soon. Morale is not high."

Webby nervously says, "Uh, Mr. Mcduck? Those mists are getting really close."

Uncle Scrooge says, "Well, that's ominous."

He takes his shot, and it bounces off the stony ruins, getting it stuck high up.

Huey says, "And he hooks it onto the wall."

Dewey sarcastically says, "Nice work. How are you gonna get up there?"

Glomgold stands still in the mist, exclaiming, "It's happening! I'm one drive away from claiming the trophy and beating Scrooge McDuck! As soon as I take this swing, I, Flintheart Glomgold, will be the winner of the Billionaire's Club Classic. Sure, you may have won the previous twenty-seven, but I think we can all agree that this one counts more than the rest combined."

As he spoke, we could only watch as his right foot started turning to stone, creeping over his leg.

Uncle Scrooge nervously says, "Uh, Flinty?"

Glomgold says, "Stuff it, Scrooge. I'm savoring the moment. Caddy, savor it with me. Caddy? Ugh."

Louie just watches with a horrified expressions, not reacting as a quarter bounces off his head.

Glomgold finally looks down at his torso being encased in stone, saying, "Oh, I see. Curse you McDuck! Curse you and my love of moment savoring!"

With those last words, he's fully turned to stone, and angry expression fixed on his face.

Uncle Scrooge exclaims, "The mist turns people to stone! Those statues used to be real golfers!"

The kelpies appear through the mists, chuckling.

Briar says, "Oh, by the way, the mists of Moorshire? They turn mortals to stone. Those statues are... You just said all that, didn't you?"

We all nod, and Bramble says, "So, you're doomed. Better to let us drown you instead. Let's go!"

We all yell in unison, "No!"

Briar frowns, "You people are no fun."

The kelpies back up into the mist, quickly disappearing.

Uncle Scrooge says, "We have to finish the course. Those hooved hostiles said it would get us home."

I ask, "Are we really going to trust them?"

Uncle Scrooge mutters, "It's the only chance we've got."

I ask, "Fine. Then how are you gonna get up there to hit the ball?"

Webby thinks for a moment, then blurts out, "Everybody, we need to support Scrooge."

Dewey stubbornly says, "Why? He hasn't supported me all day."

Webby says, "No, we need to support Scrooge. Not everything is a life lesson."

We stack together like a totem pole, with Launchpad at the bottom, then Huey, me, Louie, Webby, and Dewey in the middle, and Uncle Scrooge at the top.

He says, "Louie, hand me the club."

Louie holds his hand out, and I lightly smack his leg in frustration. He looks down at me, and I shake my head.

Louie mutters, "Nope. Right. Sure. Not the time."

Louie hands the club up, and the mist has started to settle right around us. If any of us fell, we'd turn to stone instantly.

Huey narrates, "Scrooge taking his time. I'm not sure why. There are lives at stake."

Launchpad asks, "Wait, whose? Oh, right."

He turns to stone as the mist touches him, and Huey exclaims right before turning to stone himself, "This has been Huey Duck, signing off!"

I exclaim, "Huey! Launchpad! No!"

Suddenly, everything goes dark, and I realize I've been turned to stone. I can't move, can't see, can't hear anything. The only thing I feel is a stinging regret. I shouldn't have treated Uncle Scrooge like that. He was only being like that because one wrong move could cost us our lives, but it happened anyway. I start feeling extremely cold. I'm not dying like this, am I?

That would be a pretty idiotic death, to die from mist while watching someone play golf. Is this what the afterlife is like? Being alone in the dark, stuck with nothing but your own thoughts? This must be how all those past golfers felt, unable to let go of their pride before dying. The only thing I wish I could have done was apologize to Uncle Scrooge, but it looks like that's never going to happen.

All of a sudden, I can see again, and I'm falling. I blink from the overwhelming brightness of being able to see again, and I see that I'm back in the circle of stone runes we started in, and everyone else is back safe. I tear up, and tackle Uncle Scrooge in a hug.

He looks surprised as I pull out of the hug, and I say, "I'm sorry I was being so rude. I know you only wanted to make sure the game went well."

Uncle Scrooge says, "No, I'm sorry. I let my pride get in the way." He then turns to Dewey, who's clutching the golf club in his hand, and says, "You did it lad! I knew you could."

The kelpies appear out of the mist, a large golden trophy resting on their backs.

Briar exclaims, "Congratulations, champions!"

Bramble adds, "You are the first players to ever complete the Druid's Cup."

Dewey reaches for the trophy, then hesitates.

Uncle Scrooge smiles, saying, "Go on. You've earned it."

Dewey reads the messed up engraving, "'Scrogie & Douise'?"

Briar apologizes, "Sorry, it was a rush job."

Bramble adds, "We really didn't expect you to make it."

Briar asks, "Now, who's up for a victory swim?"

We all yell, "No!"

The kelpies run off, jumping into the water and disappearing.

Glomgold, covered in stone from the waist down, yells at Louie, "You! You let me turn to stone! You're the worst caddy ever! You're fired!" He falls to the ground, and mutters, "As soon as you help me out."

He pulls out some money and reluctantly give it to Louie, who has a mischievous grin as he starts whacking him with a club.

Uncle Scrooge says to Dewey, "You know, we could use another player for next year's Invitational. I'd love someone who'd actually give me a run for my money."

Dewey, admiring the trophy, says, "Eh, I think my pro career is over. Going out on top. Still, I'd be up for a friendly round now and then."

I say, "And maybe I could play next time? It looked fun. You know, other than almost dying."

Uncle Scrooge smiles, saying, "Sounds grand."

Webby yells, "Woo! Screwy for life! In your face, everybody who's not them! Woohoo!"

Uncle Scrooge says, "Maybe just the three of us."

I say, "Agreed."

~4.5k words