A/N
Hey. Here's a little bit of a longer chapter. Thanks for reading. Stay alive frens |-/

***Tyler POV***

    I finished singing for Josh. I noticed that Josh had stopped shaking completely. Tears filled my eyes, and in attempt to hide it from Josh, I put my head down so he couldn’t see my face. I couldn’t stop myself from crying, though, and my tears fell onto our hands.
“Ty, that was… Beautiful. I love you.” I looked up when Josh said that, seeing his eyes were filled with tears, too.
“I love you too, Josh.” I did. I really did love Josh, more than I could describe. No amount of words would ever be able to show how much I loved his. I leaned close to his face and kissed his wet cheek.

    We sat on the bench for a while, and I still held his hand. People continued to walk past. A few glared at us, but we ignored them.
“Ready to go now?” I asked Josh softly.
“Yeah.” Josh said, and we stood up. I didn’t let go of his hand the entire walk home, which was almost a 20 minute walk. We didn’t even bring back any groceries. That was okay, though. I told Josh that I would go back another time, and he said that was fine. I was perfectly okay with going by myself, as long as Josh wasn’t too worried about it. If he couldn’t go, I wasn’t going to pressure him. I was capable of going shopping alone.

    When Josh and I got back home, we sat on the couch and played Mario Kart together. I won almost every single round. Just because Josh was sad didn’t mean I was going to let him win. That wasn’t how playing video games with me worked.
“No fair! You’re a cheater!” Josh cried when I crossed the finish line with my character.
“No, you're just bad at this game.” I giggled and playfully punched his arm. Josh laughed.
“You're gonna pay for that.” He tackled me and I fell of the couch, Josh following my tracks. He fell on top of me. We stared at each other for a minute before Josh leaned down and kissed my lips. It caught me by surprise, and when I kissed back, Josh pulled away.
“What…?”
“Told you you'd pay.” He smirked and got off of me, and he sat down on the couch. “Another round?”
“Ugh. Whatever, you tease.” I said, getting up and grabbing my controller.
   
    We played more of the game for a while, but my stomach grumbled and Josh made us stop playing.
“Lunch time.”
“But we don't have-”
“Taco Bell.” Josh said and turned off the TV. Honestly, I wasn't very hungry. Considering that I didn't have breakfast, I could have been a lot hungrier. However, I knew better than to argue with Josh. Sighing, I stood up and went to the door, slipping my shoes on. Josh appeared by my side moments later.
“Let's go.” He grabbed my hand. I opened the door, we stepped outside. Josh closed and locked the door behind us.

***

    I walked to the table Josh was sitting at, carrying our tray full of food. I set it down and sat in the chair across from Josh.
“Thanks.” Josh said.
“Yep.” Josh grabbed a taco, and I reached for a chalupa. We ate with minimal talking, and we were fine with that. Josh was trying to stay calm, I could tell. He seemed to, for the most part, succeed. He wasn't very shaky, and he wasn't hyperventilating. I didn't tell him, but I was proud of him. The building was pretty full, so Josh did very good. When we finished our food, I took the garbage and the tray, throwing the garbage away and stacking the tray on top of others on the garbage can. I met Josh outside. We started walking, and our hands naturally found each other's.

    When we got home, we sat down on the couch next to each other. Josh was on his phone, and I was just thinking. The bad thoughts, the ones that hadn't been around for a long time, came back. Hey Tyler, remember the voices?
“Go away.” I said quietly. Josh looked up from his phone.
“What?”
“Nothing.” Josh stared at me for moment, but he just shook his head and looked back down. Josh thinks you're crazy. He's right. You're a freak. Freaks like you don't deserve to live.
“Leave me alone.” I whispered.
“Ty? Are you okay?” Josh put his phone down and turned towards me. I didn't do anything for a minute, I wasn't sure if I should tell him. If you tell him, he won't love you anymore. I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't strong enough to handle it alone.

    Tears started to build up in my eyes. I needed Josh's help.
“No.”
“What's wrong?” Josh asked, and he held both of my hands in his.
“The thoughts… I-I can't take it anymore.” Josh didn't say anything right away. He gently pulled me towards him, and I let myself fall into his chest. Tears started to roll down my cheeks. Josh looked down at me and noticed I was crying. He wiped the tears for me.
“Shhh… It's okay.”

    You cry so much. What are you, four years old? Stop being such a baby. You're supposed to be a man. Josh doesn't love babies. He doesn't love you. Why would he? No one does. Go to the bridge. Jump. It's the only way. The voice wouldn't leave me alone. I tried to ignore it. Josh talked to me, and it, for the most part, helped. He told me he loved me. I wanted to believe him, I really did. I just couldn't. Why would he?