SAD GIRL -
LANA DEL REY

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"we're here, lyds."

lydia let out a sigh, flickering her eyes open for a moment, but quickly closed them once again when the sight of her childhood home came into her perspective.

fez barely caught onto the no that fell from her lips. he felt her take a hold of his hand, bringing it to her lips to press kisses against his knuckles. lydia breathed in the familiar cologne the boy wore, feeling her heart clench at the smell.

"i hate seein' you like this." fez shook his head slightly, keeping his eyes on his lap as he felt her soft lips press against his hands multiple times. "i don't know what kind of fucked up shit you got goin' on inside your head and i don't know how to help, but this drugs and alcohol shit is not the answer."

"i know." lydia mumbled against the back of his hand, opening her eyes to glance to the boy. "i'm sorry."

"you're crossfaded as hell right now. i don't even know why i'm talkin' like yo ass is goin' to remember a word i'm sayin' to you." fez let out a slight scoff, pulling his hand from her grasp. a frown pulled at her lips at the sudden action.

"thanks for the ride home." lydia spoke shortly, opening the passenger door without making a fool of herself due to the alcohol in her system.

fez closed his eyes tightly for a moment, knowing she was closing herself off because
of the feeling of rejection he'd sent her. she shut the passenger door without another word, leaving the boy alone with his thoughts once again.

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fez rolled over in his bed, expecting to be met with the doe eyes he'd fallen head over heels for, but was greeted by the now cold sheets where her body recited the night before.

his brows furrowed in confusion, for he was expecting at least a goodbye kiss after the deed the two had did the night before. a pink sticky note on his nightstand caught his attention as he threw his legs over the side of the bed. his feet met the carpet as he grabbed the note.

i'm sorry
- lyds

fez attempted at calling the girl's cell over and over again to no avail. she'd ghosted him after sleeping with him for the first time. after they'd come clean about their feelings for one another the night before.

the boy couldn't help but wonder whether a word she'd ever uttered to him, if every promise made was ever remotely true.

fez never told a soul, but it was obvious he'd thought she was embarrassed of him. he hated himself for believing a girl like her could ever actually love a boy like him.

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it was the early hours of the morning. the sun was beginning to rise, peeking through the curtains of the jacobs family home.

nate stumbled his way up the stairs, the alcohol in his system still seemingly effecting him. he let his finger hover over the family photo that was hanging proudly. it hovered over the smile etched on his little sister's features, one he hadn't seen in a while.

nate was going to go into his own bedroom until lydia's door caught his eye. it wasn't shut all the way resulting in the light from her lamp to peek into the hallway. he pushed the door gently, careful not to bring any unnecessary attention to himself.

lydia laid on her bed, still in the clothes from that night. she hadn't even bothered getting under her covers. nate stepped inside the bedroom once he realized she was asleep. his eyes lingered over the light bruises that had began to form on her wrist from where he'd grabbed her.

nate looked away, letting out a frustrated breathe before his eyes fell back onto his sister. memories of the two as children flooded his mind. how, once upon a time, the two were stuck to each other's hips. always one step behind one another until she grew scared of who'd he'd became after they found the tapes in their father's room.

nate shook his head, knocking the nostalgic memories from his mind as best he could. he grabbed the blanket at the end of her bed, covering her body with it before making his way back out of lydia's bedroom, closing her door behind him.

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nate jacobs was eleven years old, lydia only ten, when they found their dad's porn collection. their dad, cal, was obsessive. their mom always said that's where nate got it from, while lydia had always been, well, reckless.

nate quickly realized that the colored cases and placement was no accident. it was an elaborate code. one to ensure no one fucked with his shit.

"bubba, please." lydia pulled at nate's arm, growing fearful the longer the two stayed in their father's study. "we're going to get in trouble if daddy sees us."

nate ignored lydia's wishes to leave the room, opening one of the disk to put it into the computer to see what it contained. if lydia would've known how much witnessing the tapes would fuck with not only her brother, but herself as well, she would've never stepped foot inside the room. ever.

every video was basically the same. they'd drink. make small talk and then their dad would fuck the shit out of them.

lydia flinched visibly next to her brother when she heard the family truck door slam shut from outside. she stood to her feet quickly, looking to her brother in obvious panic.

"go." nate tried to seem as if he wasn't just as afraid as she was. lydia didn't waste a second before shuffling out of her father's study, leaving her brother to put away the tapes just as he'd found them.

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"princess, i want to talk to you."

ten year old lydia was hiding underneath the covers, feeling the bed dip due to her father's presence. cal pulled the blankets down slightly only to be met with the facade his daughter was hoping he'd buy.

cal let out a sigh, leaning over to press a kiss to lydia's temple. the girl continued in her act of seeming asleep, waiting until she heard her bedroom door shut to open her eyes once again.

the second nate pressed play on the tape, lydia's entire childhood shattered in front of her eyes. the sense of innocence both children had gleaming in their eyes vanished alongside with it. the dollhouse family she'd always been manipulated into believing was real was in-fact one big lie to hide the infidelities and transgressions happening behind locked doors.

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their older brother, aaron, was a fuck up. lydia and nate could tell their dad didn't like aaron. didn't think he had guts or brains or half a fucking clue and nate agreed, unlike lydia.

lydia recited between aaron and nate, her parents standing above them as the photographer counted down from three.

nate didn't talk to their dad much, but he didn't need too. they had a good relationship. lydia only spoke when it was necessary or she needed money to buy again. she was her dad's little girl until the summer going into freshman year came around, but that's a story for another time.

"would you smile for me, sweetie?" the photographer sent lydia a gentle smile to which the girl deadpanned in response.

lydia felt her mother roughly squeeze the back of her arm in a disciplinary sense. the girl pulled her arm from her mother's grip, catching onto the look nate sent turned to send his mother.

both, lydia and nate, thought their mother was weak. a pushover. plus, she didn't take care of herself.

"smile for the picture, lydia. pose with your brothers, why don't you be a good sister?"

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AUTHORS NOTE,
this is kinda short compared to the last two, but i didn't want to add in the first day of school along with this chapter. you'll probably get a double update today though!