So yeah, this isn't really a poem... but more like a rant, I mean like I am feeling extremely emotional today and I just felt like getting this out.

I don't really know how to start this, so I know that there are so many people out there who hate themselves for being... themselves. And I really get that feeling because, I myself am a person who isn't really proud of who I am.

I figured that there are so many people who suffer eating disorders, anxiety and depression just because they don't fit with society standards. Torturing themselves for not looking pretty enough, for not being that extreme socializer people want them to be.

I've got that a lot. People randomly telling me that I'm not pretty enough or that I don't have enough friends or that I'm weird and that I'm just being awkward to get attention.

And being the very insecure person I am, it really got into my head. I started secretly skipping breakfasts. God knows the number of nights I would cry at night, just because I was simply 'different'. I'd look into the mirror everyday and be mad at myself for existing. For not being perfect. For being me. It really hit me hard. 

I suddenly started missing those days when I was a little kid, who didn't care about how much I ate, who enjoyed spending time alone, reading books and flying away into the world of fantasy, where I could be real.

But somebody made me realize something really important. All of us are different, and we are unique and beautiful just the way we are. It took me sometime to realize it. I still do have some moments where I would suddenly start to feel insecure. But I figured that I'm best, being me. 

Now that I think about it, I feel very comfortable being me. 

Society these days has been manipulating our views of pretty and being social. But it's not like that. Each of our views are different. What each of us see are different. One may see that flower pretty, the other not. It's all perspective. So it doesn't really matter. 

What I wanted to say was that you shouldn't really listen to what other's say. And yeah I think this is something that you might have heard almost... Everywhere, but still, it's easier said than done. It really is hard to love yourself when you are so engraved with false standards, standards that don't even make sense. But it isn't impossible, it just takes a little time. 

I want y'all to see that y'all are beautiful just the same. No matter what, introvert, extrovert, short hair, long hair, dark skin, light, it doesn't matter. 'Cause no matter what, in the end, it's still you. It isn't that person who just said that you are too social is going to live your life, it's YOU. And I want you to live it to the fullest. 

You can be whoever you want, you can like whoever you want, you can say whatever you want, you can travel wherever you want, cause it's your life, and it's you whose going to be living it. 

So don't torture yourselves. Don't feel guilty. Don't punish yourselves. Don't hate yourselves. Don't give up. Because you are worth much more than you think you are. Everybody is worth love, no matter what their preferences are. 

That cut isn't gonna do any good. All those times that you starve isn't going to help. It's never the end. 

So please stay strong and hang in a little longer. We can never predict what's going to happen. Everything changes with time. Nothing stays the same. 

You'll be proud of yourself in the end when you look back. You'll feel like you've achieved something when you see all the challenges you went through and dealt with. And all that holding on will be worth it in the end. 

Soooooo... yeah.... i know this is weird, but i SO felt like putting this out. 

byeeeeeeeeee 

please don't mind me 😣🥺🤧

love y'all so much.

if you want anybody to talk to... i'm always here ❤!

and once again... i am SO SO SO sorry about this rant, i just couldn't hold it in, pweez forgive me 😖!