***

Dear Diary!                                                                                                                                                          24.05.2021

I am going to start writing whenever I start overthinking. I am doing ok at the moment; I've already done a lot of schoolwork. I am proud of myself. Therefore, you could say my day has been amazing, but I have to disappoint you...
I'm a bit...idk... it's hard to describe. I want to finally close the sad chapter of my book called life but whenever I am like, yeah, I'm doing pretty good, flashbacks start, and I start breaking down again. I hope that with this writing I will start feeling better. Right now, I am listening to Olivia Rodrigo. Her album is lit I could listen to it all day. The songs are fire.

***

I think this is enough for my first diary entry. See you later, I do not know when but I'm definitely going to continue this. It is fun. I can really recommend it to anyone. I think I am less stressed now.

***

"Wow", I thought as I closed the small book my mother bought me to release stress, "this thing really helps." Let me be honest with you I didn't have high hopes, but I am impressed.

I looked around my room to find the perfect place where I could hide the book which was light pink with blue initials. "Perfect", I thought as I found the perfect hiding place.

I stood up and walked over to my closet where I had put up my box with CDs. Nobody would suspect it. Or at least I hoped so. In the end it wouldn't really matter if somebody would find it.

The book has a lock and I'm not going to put the key anywhere out of my sight. I opened my desk, where I knew I would find the necklace, my grandmother gifted me a while ago.

I opened the necklace and removed the small butterfly that was originally on the necklace and replaced it with my key. I will probably get looks for carrying around a key, but what does it matter.

I decided to leave my room and went downstairs to get something from the kitchen. I didn't exactly know what I wanted. If it was food or something to drink, but actually, I do not even know what we have at home now.

While I stood in front of the fridge and annualized everything that was inside, I heard how someone, probably my mom, unlocked the front door. I didn't bear it a second thought and continued thinking what I should eat.

Suddenly I heard my mom screaming: "Elisa, I brought some food with me."

I closed the fridge, hid the necklace below my T-shirt and welcomed my mom. She brought pizza which put a smile on my face. It was my absolute favorite food, and my mom knows that.

While we ate my mom, and I did not talk a lot but we still had a nice conversation. We talked about school, what my and her plans for the week were and what we should eat for dinner.

A normal conversation between the two of us. Sometimes I ask myself how our life would be different if my dad wouldn't have left us, when I was a young kid.

I do not really remember my father; I was only 4 when he decided to pack his things and leave.

From time to time, I would like to ask mom about him, but I know she's still not over him. Which is totally ok, I mean, it's not something that happens every day. Jeremey, that was my father's name was Zoe's (my mom) true love.

I wouldn't want to talk about something like that either.

After I made the dishes, I went upstairs again. I wanted to be alone, so that I could play guitar without being disturbed.

Playing guitar. The only thing I was really good at, except my cooking skill was okay too. Not the best but ok, but never mind.

When I play guitar, it feels like I am being free, just like how I felt while writing into my diary. It feels magically. I forget everything around me. It's like the world stops spinning. I forget where I am and I lose myself in my imaginations.

Now if you would come into my room, you would see me sitting in front of my window, watching people passing the streets and playing calm melodies on my guitar.

I don't know how much time passed but I suddenly felt someone touching my shoulder and I was out of my trance.

"You should pay more attention the things surrounding you Elisa, I shouted that dinner was ready and you didn't response"

My mom.

"I'm sorry" I wasn't.

I followed her downstairs and sat down. Vegetables and meat. Just like what we had talked about earlier.

It smelt nice, therefore I began eating. It was quiet. Nobody talked. We sat in silence and enjoyed dinner.

After finishing dinner I left the house. I wanted to go for a walk.

Now I was just like the people I watched earlier today. Passing streets thinking about life. I didn't know where I was going, just that I couldn't stop. My feet were carrying me without noticing. It was like they wanted to show me something.

I stopped. I looked up and noticed where I was. It was a bus stop, maybe 2 km away from my house. Why was I here? Why did I decide to go for a walk?

It was then when I saw a poster. It looked like it had been there for ages, but it hasn't. It was an invitation for an open call, that would take place at the end of this week. It didn't say what they were looking for, just that if you think that you have a special talent, you should come.

Back then I didn't know why I took out my phone and took a picture but looking back. It was destiny. Cause this day would chance my life. Forever.