Lisa POV

I think I'm prepared for anything.

 I'm wrong.

When Taehyung's voice comes through the headphones, I choke back a sob.

 '– major threat. Need everyone to EVACUATE. I –' 

The recording breaks into static.

I pull off the headphones and throw them down. I back away from them as if they're a tarantula. Jisoo frowns and puts them on.

'I'm so sorry,' Rosie says. 'There's nothing else. Just feedback.'

My legs shake. I'm not sure if I'm shivering more from cold or from shock.

'Tae warned them,' Jisoo murmurs. 'They might have got out. He might still be alive?'

Solar is the navigator on duty. Her ears turn red, a 'tell' that she is about to lie. Solar knows this about herself. Given her interest in counterespionage, you'd think she would let her long hair down to hide her lie-detector ears. Instead, she keeps her black locks in a tight ponytail.

'Maybe,' she says. 'I mean, it's possible, right?'

 Yuna frowns. 'I don't think there was time. Jisoo, the noise at the end of the recording ...'

I know she's right.

That jumble of static was most likely the sound of our school collapsing into the ocean. I imagine Taehyung was speaking over the school intercom. He was probably down in the security room, under the administration building. His stupid noble ass wouldn't have left until he was sure people were evacuating.

The drones captured no footage of anyone alive. None of the news reports mentioned survivors. Tae is really gone. All I have left is a garbled recording of his last desperate moments.

I try to say something. I realize that if I don't leave now, I will fall to pieces in front of everyone. I turn and exit the bridge. I hear someone running after me.

I don't remember making it to my cabin.

 I curl up in my bed. I stare at the water sloshing around in Socrates'sempty tank. Jisoo appears in the doorway a moment after. She didn't say anything, but instead, just put her arms around me. I try to struggle, but it's no use. She intended to stay there until I got all my crying out.

I try to recapture the feeling of serenity I had in the library, poking fun at the old-fashioned Jules Verne books with Rosie. . It's gone. Guilt has clamped its metal claws on my gut. 

I should have been there for Taehyung. Maybe if I'd been more insistent about what I saw: that strange reset of the grid's lights ... Maybe if I'd gone straight to the security team myself instead of taking time to eat breakfast ...my brother might still be alive.

I never got to say goodbye to my parents. Not properly. They said they were going off on another expedition and they'd be back in a month or so. They told me to be good. I let them leave with nothing but a hug, a kiss, and a roll of my eyes. Of course I'll be good. You guys should worry about Taehyung and Jisoo! My mom said, We'll be back before you know it. And I believed her. They always came back.

Now I've lost Tae, too. Why do I keep missing my chances to say goodbye?

The pain in my gut is getting worse. It takes me a moment to realize it's not just from grief. My period has started.

Great. Like I don't have enough going on.

 I stagger to my feet and rummage through my bag for toiletries and some clothes, leaving a very confused Jisoo behind. 'And here I thought you loved your sister'

When I open the cabin door, Jennie and Roseanne are both standing there. They look sheepish, like they were just debating whether or not to knock. They register my pained expression, the box of maxi-pads clutched in my hand. They get out of my way, understanding that I need to reach the bathroom. 

'I'll get the painkillers,' Jennie says.

 'I'll fill the hot-water bottle,' says Rosie.

I mumble my thanks as I stumble past. They know the routine. Even with the B1 supplements, constant exercise, and a good diet, my monthly cramps are torturous. I understand why periods were historically called a 'curse'.For two and a half years I've been dealing with this now. Without my friends, I don't know how I would have coped.

Once I'm dressed and back in the cabin, I curl up in my bunk again. I gulp down a couple of painkillers and press the hot-water bottle against my abdomen.

 Yellow spots of pain dance before my eyes. What feels like metal grabber arms continue to clamp my gut.

Hank trots over and kisses me on the nose. He wants to help.

'You're not going to die' Roseanne tells me.

I laugh, which hurts. 'Thanks, Rosie. I always get through this.' 

'NOT YOUR PERIOD,' she says. 'I MEAN ON THE ISLAND.'

 'Volume, babe,' Jennie says.

'Sorry.' Roseanne sits at the table and begins flipping through index cards.' I've been writing down all the secrets I can remember. All the stuff I wasn't supposed to tell you. It's here somewhere.'

'Roseanne has been busy,' Jisoo tells me. 'We're just going to be sure to keep these cards safe from now on, right, Roseanne? We won't leave top-secret notes lying around where anyone can find them?'

'I put them down in the kitchen for a minute,' Roseanne confesses. 'While I snuck a brownie. It's fine. Nobody saw.'

Aha. So I'm not the only brownie thief. If the crew mutinies, Rosie and I will both have to walk the plank. I wasn't sure if I would hate that.

When I first realized Rosie had such a great memory, I asked her why she needed the note cards. She explained it like this: she can remember an entire symphony orchestra, a hundred musicians playing at once. But if you ask her what the oboe was doing in the second bar of the third movement, she can't immediately unravel that information from all the other sounds she absorbed. The cards help her make sense of the music. She can color-code the brass section, so to speak, and keep it separate from the strings and the percussion. She can unwrap the symphony and study it instrument by instrument, line by line. 

Without her index cards, the world is a scary, overwhelming place. Sometimes I wish I could do that.

 'Here.' She holds up a bright-blue card, covered front and back with her neat handwriting. 'Tomorrow, when we get close to the secret base, there's going to be a challenge.'

 I try to concentrate. The hot-water bottle is slowly doing its work, relaxing the knots in my belly, but the pain is still blinding. Tae's voice crackles in my head. Major threat. Need everyone to EVACUATE.

'A challenge?' I manage.

Roseanne nods. 'Standard protocol when someone approaches a base. It says so right here. I don't know what kind of challenge. Something to make sure we are legitimate. If we're not, the island will probably destroy us with alt-tech weapons.'

'But that won't happen,' Jennie says

'No,' Roseanne agrees. 'Because ...' She looks at Jennie. ' Wait, why won't it happen?'

'Because we're going to figure out how to pass the challenge,' she says gently. 'We'll do that while Jisoo and Lisa get some sleep. Remember?'

'That's right,' Roseanne agrees. 'Lisa, that's why you're not going to die. Get some sleep.'

She says this like it's as simple as switching off a radio.

 Maybe it is.

I want to join them at the table. I should help them figure out this challenge. But my body is shutting down. Hearing Tae's voice was too much. The medicine and the heat and the cramps are fighting for dominance, turning my nervous system into a choppy sea. I cling to the sound of my friend's voices like a life raft. Plus it was already 10 pm, which is the socially acceptable time to sleep.

I close my eyes and drift into the painless depths.

My night does not go the way it was planned.