Broken hearts

**❤**

Minutes passed of Logan's lips covering mine, and shamefully I began kissing him back. He slowed down and his kiss grew softer, his tongue swirling around my lips before he pulled away.

"Was that so bad?" He asked.

My sore lips didn't dare to utter a word, fearful of the fact that anything might trigger him and I didn't want him to continue his assault. I knew he would regret it once he's calmed down, so I stayed put, immobilised by fear and anxiety.

"Seraphina...babygirl." he muttered, bringing his head down to kiss the corner of my lips. "I've never felt so crazy about someone before you."

I stayed silent, basically holding my breath and waited for him to continue.

"I wouldn't really fuck you against your will," he laughed, as if the idea of doing it was so funny. I wanted to cry. "We'll take it slowly, and when the time is right, then I will take that sweet virginity of yours."

I stayed as silent as ever, not moving.

"Say something, Sweetheart." He urged, peering at my face from his position above me. "You look like you're in shock. Is it something I did?"

What? How could he ask that? He was crazy.

"I think it's time to leave now, Logan." I managed to say, my voice barely audible.

"But I just got here." He bent down and kissed my jaw, before trailing kisses upwards, till be placed a lingering kiss on my forehead. He raised a hand to cup my cheek before I felt him caressing my skin.

I stared into his blue eyes, only imagining how I must have probably looked like a deer caught in headlights. Surprised and scared.

"You're being so quiet, are you okay, darling? Is it something I said?"

How...how could he change so quickly? How...and why? I was so confused. One minute he was raging with anger, and the next comforting me. I was confused and so scared. I had no idea what to expect from him. This had to end. Before I really got hurt. I was too of a coward to try to help him. I didn't want to get hurt. He was already seeing other girls, there was no reason for me to continue seeing him. It really broke my heart what he went though and the fact that he was internally suffering, but I couldn't help him. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't.

"You did nothing wrong," I lied. "I'm just feeling really sleepy and tired."

"You want me to go?" He asked, tilting his head in confusion. He couldn't see what was wrong with his actions, and it broke my heart how damaged he was. Another part of me reminded myself that I knew almost nothing about him. He coukd be lying about everything for all I knew.

"Yes, please. I just wanna get some rest, I'll see you tomorrow."

Hesitantly, he moved up and away from me. He stood up slowly and stared at me intently. I lifted myself up and scooted off the bed, before grabbing all my clothes. I shoved them on quickly and in embarrassment.

"I'll see you tomorrow then?" He asked.

"Yes." I lied. I was surprised he was leaving so easily. My heart almost leaped out of my chest a minute ago, thinking he was going to do what I thought he would.

"Okay." I waited anxiously for his next move. He stepped towards me gripped my face, before placing a long kiss on my lips. My eyes closed on their own accord, savoring the moment. When he stepped away, emotions overwhelmed me and I hugged him quickly before moving away again.

"Goodbye, Logan." I whispered.

He had no idea what my goodbye really meant.

"Bye, baby." He smiled. His handsome smile. A smile that I loved and wished I could see more often.

He backed away towards the door, but for sending me one last smile. "Thank you." He said.

"For what?" I asked confused.

"For loving me. I don't think anyone has ever done that before." With that said he left.

When the door shut, I collapsed onto my bed as tears stung my eyes. I pulled my knees up to my chest and placed my head into my arms before sobbing my eyes out. I wish we could be together as a normal couple, but he would never commit to me and the worst part was that be could never see what was wrong with his actions either. He went from hot to cold in a matter of seconds and I couldn't handle it. I was far too weak.

One thing for sure was that I would always miss him.

And I loved him.

My feet moved down the stairs slowly, my arms limp by my sides and my eyes red of crying. When I reached the front door I pulled the black phone up from its stand before dialing the three digit code of the front gate. The gate man, Jeremy answered on the first ring almost immediately. I placed the phone by my ear shakily.

"Hello?" I heard Jeremy say into the phone.

"Hi, it's Sera." I said.

"Seraphina? Is something wrong?"

"I need you to do me a favour, Jeremy." My hands wobbled against the phone.

"Anything."

"Don't let Logan Rivera in by the gates anymore. It doesn't matter what he does or says, don't let him in." I said strongly.

"But Gabriel said-"

"I don't care what Gabriel said, he's not here right now and I don't want to see Logan again. Do not open the gates for him."

"Of course. May I ask why?"

I sighed and wiped at my sore eyes. I have been crying for far too long over a guy that hurt me not only emotionally, but physically as well.

"Just...don't let him in." I put the phone down and breathed shakily.

It was for the best.

Staying all day and night up in my room was torturous, being lost in my own world and thinking about Logan. How he have let me down and how I have done the say to him. He even thanked me for loving him, and said that no one had loved him before. I wanted so badly to hug him for hours straight. Tell him that he mattered and that I cared for him. That he wasn't alone. Unfortunately for that plan, the downside would be that I would end up being the abused one. I could already see how our relationship could go.

My mind then wondered to Gabriel and my parent's, and wondered when Gabriel would get back. I didn't know what I would say to him when the gate guard told him that I requested to forbid Logan from entering into the mansion. I would have to make up a lie. And then I'd have to deal with the fact that Gabriel might invite him over, and then I wouldn't be safe from Logan once again. I should just tell Gabriel everything.

My hand dialed Gabriel's number before I could stop myself.

In a few seconds, Gabriel answered.

"Hey, Sera. What's up?" I felt relieved to hear his voice. I let out a sigh, feeling my eyes water again.

"Hey, big bro." I smiled even though he couldn't see me. "I just miss you that's all."

"I'm so sorry, Sera. I'll be home in about two days time, and then we can begin to plan your birthday party. I have so much to tell you." He sounded excited and my smile grew. I wiped the wetness away from my eyes.

I so badly wanted to tell him about Logan and I, but the words were stuck in my throat.

"No, don't be sorry. I'm glad you're there, helping mom and dad. I can't wait to plan my party." I gushed.

I loved to plan things, like events or special family occasions. And I always helped my mom and dad whenever they planned my birthday parties in the past.

"It's gonna be a good one this year. How is everything at the mansion?"

I told him about everything I've been doing for the past five days, half lying and keeping Logan out of the story. We have texted, but in the past week never shared a phone call and I was excited to hear him. I've never gone so long without Gabriel here at home, since he never went to college after he graduated from highschool. He told me how our parents were exposing him to the layout of the family business, and Gabriel told me that he was really considering going to college next year. Which meant that he wouldn't be home for my senior year of highschool, and the thought really saddened me. Overally, I was happy for him. Very happy, especially with how he was bonding with our parents. He has always been distant from them, and that was a bit worrying.

Our phone call ended after fourty minutes, and after I hung up I fell backwards onto the bed and sighed. The skies were darkening and it was time for dinner, but I felt tired for no reason. I glanced at my phone every one minute, contemplating if I wanted to text Logan.

No, Sera. Just stop.

I shut my eyes tightly, realising how addicted I've become to him. This was really bad.

I turned the power off of my phone before I could do anything stupid, and left my room to go eat dinner.

**❤**

The next morning consisted of me staring blankly at my ceiling for thirty minutes straight. The ceiling suddenly became the most interesting thing in the world, but I wasn't actually staring at it. I was lost in a world or thoughts, feeling stress overcome me with every passing minute. I was so worried that Gabriel would find out about Logan and I, and I was going over all the possibilities of that were to happen.

In all the different possibilities, Gabriel would be mad, and most also consisted of him never talking to Logan again. I wanted to tell Gabriel about us, but I worried that without Gabriel and I, Logan would have no one. Why I was even worrying about him when he hurt me countless times was beyond me. All I knew was that I did care for him deeply, and I never wanted him to be alone. I wanted him to be happy, and also maybe find peace of mind somewhere to help with his mental condition. Or if he even had one. I didn't know if he was lying or not. Because one minute he was sane, and the next absolutely insane. Like he's lost his mind.

He was either a really good actor, or he really had a mental condition.

I was going mental too, just thinking about it.

I snapped out of my thoughts, and focused on the better things like Gabriel finally recompensating with our parents, my soon to be birthday party which in my head was going to be amazing, and the fact that my senior year of highschool was so close by. I planned to make the best memories next year, so that I could savour them forever.

I needed to get out of this mansion, it was making me sick, so I thought that I could maybe invite Bella to go out with me somewhere. Anywhere besides here.

I grabbed my phone from the bedside table and turned the power on. I hadn't turned it on since last night. I watched a few movies and even a few episodes of my favourite series last night, to distract myself from Logan. I left my phone on the furthest place in my room, knowing that I would be too lazy to get up from my bed and go and get it. If it were besides me, I would probably done something stupid like text Logan.

I turned the power on to my phone and when the brightness met my eyes, I was surprised to see twelve messages. I rarely ever got any messages. I opened them up to find one of them being from Gabriel, one from my mom four from Bella and six from...Logan.

I opened Gabriel's first, which just consisted of him greeting me goodnight last night. Bella's were demanding that we go out today which was a coincidence since I wanted to invite her first, and my mom's text was asking me how I am. I answered them quickly and had half the mind to just ignore Logan's texts, but I was so curious to now what they would say, so with half a mind I opened them.

Can I come over today?- L

Sera?- L

It's been an hour and you're still not answering...- L

I'm coming anyway. See you in twenty- L

What the fuck? Your stupid gateman won't let me in...he says it was specially requested by you that I'm not allowed entrance...-L

Goddamit Seraphina answer your fucking phone.- L

Oh god.

I held my breath while reading the messages the entire time. My heart was racing so fast and my fingers were iching to apologize to him and tell him that I would let him in. I breathed heavily and contained my breathing, stopping myself from answering. If he took me seriously at all, he would know why I was so angry at him. He had been fooling around with other girls while we were being... intimate. And he humiliated me yesterday, demanding that I strip for him and joking about taking me against my will. I let him push me around for to much. Their were certain limits I had to maintain, and even some self respect.

His last message was sent at 11:53. It was twenty minutes after that and I truly feared what he would do now. The last time I didn't answer his messages, things didn't go so well.

I stepped out of bed and placed my phone down. I'm not scared. I'm not scared. I kept chanting in my head but I was only fooling myself. I used the bathroom before leaving my room and going down to the kitchen. The smell of fresh foods met my nose and I relaxed a bit.

Bethany was busy clearing up the kitchen when I came in.

"Your breakfast slash lunch awaits." She smiled, motioning with her head towards the dishes on the kitchen island.

"Ooh, I'm starving. Thanks, Bethany." I said with a small smile.

I grabbed two slices of toast and buttered it before smearing strawberry jam on afterwards. I was feeling greedy, and since I was stressing I wanted to eat extra today, so I grabbed all the crispy bacon in the bowl and some scrambled eggs on the side. I heard Bethany chuckle and I shrugged, moving towards the circular table and sitting down.

"I have a question.." she said after a few minutes, before joining me at the table with her own plate. She placed a glass of juice in front of me and I mumbled a thanks, with a mouth full of food.

"Yeah?" I asked, after swallowing.

"So... I saw Logan's car at the gate this morning, when I was checking up on the planters in the front. I thought he would come inside but I heard yelling, then his car sped away. Wanna tell me what that was about?" She asked curiously, analysing me.

My eyes widened slightly. Logan must have given Jeremy a hard time by the gate.

"I-I-uhm-" I stuttered nervously.

"Trouble in paradise?" She sounded concerned, and I feared that she might have heard us yesterday in my room. But I doubted that, because if she thought for even a second that Logan might have been acting out of line, she wouldn't have hesitated to barge into my room.

"I think...I think that he has been seeing other girls while we were...you know." My cheeks warmed up.

"Really?" She didn't sound surprised at all. "I don't dislike Logan, I never have even when your parents kicked him out when he was just a little boy. But they did it for a reason, Seraphina. He came from a bad home, and you lived in this house. You were only a little girl, they couldn't risk him being anywhere near you."

"I..I don't understand." I said in confusion.

"You were seven years old, and I'm guessing Logan was somewhere around twelve, when his father went to jail for badly assaulting an innocent women. It was all over the news. This women was in the ICU for more than a week, and his father went to jail before he got released after two month. Everyone thought it was unfair, that he should've stayed longer for what he did. Your parents were absolutely horrified when they learned that Gabriel was friends with such a horrible man's son. Your parents acted on impulse and said some horrible things to him."

My chest grew heavy, and Bethany hung her head in shame.

"I heard everything. It went from insulting his father, calling him a monster and someone that should die, to saying stuff like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and that Logan was scum too. He was just a twelve year old boy. He seemed so innocent, kicking ball with Gabriel outside, but he ran away with tears after what your parents said."

My eyes were blurred with tears and I quickly wiped it away.

"I'm sorry to say this, Seraphina, but you're lucky that you're out of this relationship before it went too far."

"I wasn't in a relationship-"

"I know that Gabriel don't know and I promise I won't tell. But please, just promise me that from now onwards, you would stay away from him." She said softly, smiling sadly at me.

"I will." I promised. I let out a small laugh, trying to lighten up the mood. "I'm the one who told Jeremy to keep him out."

"I suspected as much." She smiled in return. "Logan was never a bad kid, but he grew up in a troubled home. And I just don't want you to get hurt."

I nodded, before reaching over and squeezing her hand.

But Bethany, he already has hurt me.

**❤**

I really feel bad for Logan. What about you guys?