October 2024

"The hockey and skating seasons should align geographically every year."

I push him against the wall and Liam yelps. He still says, "I'll start a petition."

I huff, pulling away from the kiss I wish I didn't have to stop. "Don't put too much hope in it. We got lucky."

Liam's grin is unapologetically devious. "Not yet."

I roll my eyes, but let him pull me back into him. His hand curls around my hip, the other holding onto the back of my neck. 

Soon, our jackets are too much of a barrier and our encounter follows the usual routine. Clothes are swiftly peeled away as we make it to the bed. This is who we are now. What we've become over the years. My efforts to stay away from Liam were lost from the beginning.

We don't see much of each other. There was my visit home after last hockey season, which felt a little like being back in high school with all the sneaking around behind all our friends' backs. Except now our friends aren't really two distinct groups anymore.

There's no hockey kids and figure skaters anymore. The ones who kept playing moved on to college, and the ones who stayed behind have studies and work. There's the Lake City crowd and the Brunson crowd, but the lines don't seem so stark anymore. Olie's dating Trey Coleman, Connor is still friends with James, Chloe's Liam's partner. 

It's almost like not enough people stayed behind to maintain the divided status quo.

When I'm not home, it's hard to meet up.

Those two worlds we always lived in have become physical now. We're actually living apart, leading completely different lives, following completely distinct schedules.

For me, it all revolves around the NHL season. I have practice, and games, and press meetings, and meetings with the coaches, and meetings with the agents, and the PR people, and the physiotherapists. I have hang-outs with the team, and the few visits with Owen we can squeeze in, and very few calls to the people back home.

For him, it's all about the skating season. Practices, competitions, and more practicing. But he's home.

Liam did get away with a weekend escapade to Calgary in secret, during the summer. But as soon as I noticed how hard it was to keep where I was going from Dean, I knew it wouldn't happen again.

But just like a couple of years back the two seasons aligned to find us in Beijing at the same time, we got lucky again. A NHL Global Series game and a week of training abroad with an old friend of his coach have us meeting in Sweden.

It was tricky, though. It wasn't the random lucky meet-up we had in Beijing, where everything perfectly aligned to have us stay at the same hotel. My game was in Gothenburg, while he was staying the week in Stokholm. That took a two-hour journey from each of us, in the middle of the night, to meet at a hostel at a halfway point.

This also means it was premeditated. Planned. Expected. We both had time to look forward to this. Anticipate it. Want it. When we finally crashed together, as soon as the door to our room closed, we couldn't get our hands on each other soon enough.

My heart jumps in my chest as he pushes me onto the bed, kneeling in front of me to remove my belt. It's all jerky, sudden movements. No finesse. No delay. Straight to the point. We've both been waiting for this for too long.

"Shit, shit, stop." I grab a fistful of his hair to pull his mouth away from me before I'm done before it has even truly started. "I want you inside me."

Liam lets out a choked sound. "Fuck. That should be illegal."

"Used to be."

Liam's jaw slacks, the lustful gaze broken. "Not that," he says. "You saying filthy, sexy things that make me weak in the knees." He narrows his eyes into slits. "Until you ruined it. Just now."

He stands up and I snort.

"Thought you liked inappropriate humor. Just trying to emulate my inner Liam Astor." I pull my own jeans and underwear off, which had been forgotten around my ankles until now.

"If I wanted to have sex with myself, I'd find another bisexual, sheltered, snarky figure skater," he deadpans, pretending not to notice me taking off his belt.

"Always thought if anyone would be into fucking himself it'd be you." I start working on his fly.

"Nope," he says in an impressive show of discipline as I pull his pants down his legs. "I like broody hockey players with a soft spot for my inappropriate humor who are too hot for their own good."

I smile, hooking my fingers into the elastic band of his boxer briefs. "Who says I have a soft spot for you?"

His smile is teasing. Knowing. "Don't you?"

I roll my eyes, but his underwear is now following the same fate as his pants.

Liam hisses when I take him into my mouth. He tilts his head back, one hand on my head and the other on my shoulder for support.

"Shit," he breathes. "It's been too long. If you want me inside you, it has to be now."

Those words send a ripple of excitement through my stomach. I don't stop, though. Not until his fingers grip my hair and gently pull me back.

I push his hand off, leaning forward to mouth at his hip bone.

"How do you want me?" I whisper against his torso, trailing upward. 

I feel like my body only half belongs to me in these moments. I'm aware of everything I'm doing, but only in this strange, out-of-body way. Like I'm a bystander inside my own mind. Only half in control. Instinct and formerly-repressed desire taking over everything else.

"Anyway, anywhere," Liam says roughly.

"On the bed?" I ask into his chest.

"Yes."

"Under you?" I nibble on his collarbone.

"Fuck, yes."

I smile just as Liam seems to regain agency over his own body to push me down onto the mattress and climb on top of me.

It all seems too little after such a long wait, not enough, never enough. And then it's all over too fast. 

I almost wish we had paced ourselves as we both collapse on the mattress, side by side, breathless. I want to go back in time and tease him. Take our time. Savor the moment. We don't get enough of these moments. They're always too hasty, too brief, too few, never enough.

"Shit." Liam brings me out of my daze. "We didn't use condoms."

I look at him, taking in his state. Hair all over the place, chest heaving breathlessly, tan skin flushed dark red, a thin layer of sweat covering his whole body in a wet glister.

"That's bad, right?" He continues, still a little out of breath. "Condoms are important. I never not used condoms."

I let my head fall back against the pillow. "Don't worry. You should be fine from me."

"What do you mean?"

I shrug, staring up at the web of cracks on the ceiling. "There's nothing you could catch from me."

Liam's quiet for a while. Eventually I turn my head to look at him. Dark blue eyes are already staring back at me.

His mouth opens once wordlessly, then closes before it opens again. "Are you trying to tell me, in the worst possible way, that you haven't slept with anyone else lately?"

I glare at him. Liam doesn't budge, arching his eyebrows to give me an inquiring look while doing a shit job of hiding his smile.

"More than just lately."

His eyes widen. "What?"

I huff. "Haven't really slept with anyone else. Not just lately."

"What?" He repeats.

I glare at him.

Liam pulls up onto one elbow. Having him looking down at me now, I feel a little self-conscious. Deep-blue eyes pin me to place and I look away to the ceiling again.

"I'm supposed to believe," he starts evenly, an underlayer of amusement in his voice, "with all those parties packed full of supermodels and athletes and influencers, that you haven't slept with anyone else since you left Brunson?"

Since you left Brunson. Like we both don't know what that really means.

"Who would I sleep with?" I snap, feeling my face flush hot. I don't like what he led me to admit and I feel the discomfort of the situation boil down to irritation.

Liam smiles. "There are male supermodels and atheletes and influencers," he says offhandedly.

I let out an exasperated breath, shaking my head. "Yeah, right."

Liam raises his eyebrows.

I sit up, looking at the sheets over my legs instead of his face. "If I wouldn't risk it for you, I wasn't gonna risk it for anyone else, was I?"

I have time to see a form of skeptical realization flash across his face, before I slide my legs over the edge of the mattress to turn my back to him.

"Whatever," I say. "Forget it. Don't think I even wanna know about you."

We're made to have thorough health check-ups anyway, so I'm not worried. If there's anything to know, I'll know. Though I don't know what I'll do if those exams ever come back with any kind of positive result.

"I also haven't slept with anyone else. Since my last check-up at least," Liam says, voice soft. Like a peace offering.

I look over my shoulder, unable to help myself. "When was that?"

"Over a year ago," he says.

"And before that?"

He smiles, but it's not cocky or taunting this time. "Thought you didn't want to know."

Something unpleasant clenches around my stomach and I have to turn away again. "I don't."

I stand up to look for my clothes.

"Where are you going?" Liam asks as I put on my underwear.

"You know I have to go back."

"I don't know that." He sits up on the edge of the bed, looking at me.

"You do, though. I share a room with Dean. If I miss the train I can't make it back in time to get in bed before he wakes up."

Liam lets out a frustrated sigh, like someone who knows he's fighting a lost battle. "Just stay. Please."

I give him a look.

Liam rolls his eyes. "Not the whole night. Just a little bit."

I'm getting ready to protest, but it takes too long to come. Like my body is taking control away from me again. Liam takes my hand and pulls me closer. I yield, standing between his open legs, looking down at him.

He kisses my hand, keeping it in his. "Thirty minutes."

"Ten," I counter.

He smiles. "Forty." He kisses the inside of my wrist.

"Fifteen."

"An hour." He kisses the inside of my elbow. 

I close my eyes, so I don't have to see his eyes - deep blue and so fucking enticing.

"Twenty minutes," I say through a voice that does not sound like my own. "And that's as high as I'm willing to go."

"I'll take it." He kisses my shoulder, then tugs on my hand to make me fall over him on the bed. I let him roll us over so he can lay on top of me. "What should I do with you for twenty minutes?"

"Lay down in contemplative silence."

"Sure."

I raise my eyebrows. "Really?"

"Mhm." He smiles, snuggling up to my side and resting his head on my chest. 

His hand rests on my stomach, brushing softly with his thumb and I feel myself yielding again. Slowly, I wrap my arms around him, and that's where we stay for twenty minutes. 

I can feel him breathing against me and I wonder if he can hear my heart beating just a little too fast underneath my rib cage. My body gives into him and this moment completely, but my mind never stops counting the time.

When twenty minutes have passed, Liam's dosing off. I don't want to startle him, so I move carefully, disentangling myself from him to find the rest of my clothes.

"No," he mumbles into the mattress, arm stretching out to grab my hand.

"Gotta go," I whisper. "We had a deal."

"You were gonna leave without saying goodbye," he says without opening his eyes. "Again."

I purse my lips, halting my movements. Reaching for the covers we pushed to the feet of the bed earlier, I pull them over him. Brushing his hair away, I drop a kiss on his forehead before slipping my clothes on and leaving him behind.

***

I completely forgot to post yesterday, sorry! To make it up to you, I'll give you a double update this week again :)

In the meantime, I'm almost done with ny obligations with school, so I should be able to finish the last chapters soon Once that's done, I'll start posting double/triple updates every week until it's complete!

As always, thanks for reading!