“Sorry, Elise. But does my roommate speak any English?” Why did Sara always feel the need to apologize? She wasn't doing any harm.

“Abeni? She does, but not very often. Why? Was there something you wanted to ask her?” It seemed that every since Sara had been forcibly checked into this ward that everyone was asking questions instead of making nice conversation. Sara was beginning to long for what she missed most, small talk that didn't mean anything to people who didn't pity you.

“No, she was just sort of yelling at me in her language and I didn’t understand.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry too much about that. If it becomes too much of an issue you can come up to me and we will figure out, ok?” Sara didn’t feel super comforted by Elise, but she nodded her head anyway and went to watch TV.

Out of the group she was sitting with, a man had the remote. He was lazily channel surfing; to the protests of the rest of the group. Sara couldn’t help but stare at the two gouges on both of his wrists. She tried to tear her eyes away but couldn’t. The man settled on National Geographic - they were watching a lion stalk its prey in the wild. The man noticed Sara’s staring and  down the sleeves of his shirt underneath his hospital scrubs. Sara tore her eyes away. The lionness was getting closer and closer to her prey - a gazelle. The gazelle sensed something was up and  booked it. Sara wondered if it had a plan to where it was going or if it was just going away. The lionnes chased after it for a bit, but that gazelle really, really wanted to get away. So it did, much to the disappointment of those watching for the lioness. Sara was glad the gazelle got away because she felt like the gazelle - she just wanted to be away.

Abeni hadn’t spoken to Sara again after her outburst when Sara first walked into her room. She had eaten breakfast by herself and now was left alone to her thoughts. No one came up to try and talk to her, and she hadn’t tried to go up and talk to anyone else.

“Sara Waschmuth could you please come up to the front desk?” Elise’s voice rang out over the intercom. Sara walked over to the front desk, hopeful for news about her release.

“How are you doing today?” Elise smiled politely. Today she seemed significantly less exhausted although the bags under her eyes still prevailed.

“I’m alright. Yourself?”

“I am good. Dr.Ezekiel would like to see you now. His office is just this way,” Elise stood up and Sara dutifully followed her. Ethan’s office was sort-of organized. It was in this state of half-organization half-chaos that made it seem even more chaotic to Sara. Ethan was sitting at his desk, scribbling something down. Ethan never seemed to write - when he used a pen it was with such intensity and finesse that it had to be a scribble.

“Sara. Please sit down.”

“Good afternoon, Ethan.”

“Was that sarcastic?”

“Not today, no. Ready to work your magic on my mental health?” That part WAS sarcastic.

Ethan smiled. He could tell that Sara hated it here, and that she would do anything to leave. He had to somehow convince Sara that it was good for her to be here, at least here she had a safe place and regular food to eat.

“I’m always ready to work on your mental health, Sara. Now, are you ready to talk today?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” She clearly was not ready. Ethan wasn’t sure why she was so resistant to let him help her.

“Remember the faster your mental health gets better, the faster you can leave.”

“Why do you keep saying that! It’s a lie! You know I have nowhere to stay, so you will keep me here until I make amends with my parents. I want you to know that I would rather be homeless than live with those assholes or here!”

“You don’t know that, Sara. You are just trying to convince yourself that I won’t release you because you are having difficulty trusting me or anyone in general. That’s  why I’m here. To talk about that. Why do you think you have trust issues?”

“Because my own family kicked me out of my house.” Duh - Sara had thought that much would have been obvious, even to non-psychiatrists.

“Yes, and your family kicked you out because you are a lesbian, correct?”

“Correct.” Sara seemed highly uncomfortable of the mention of her sexuality. Ethan immediately sensed this.

“Sara, your sexuality is nothing to be ashamed about. All of that stuff about it being against God and all of that? That’s total bullshit and those people are assholes.”

Sara giggled - a doctor just swore in front of her, and he swore rather passionately too on top of that. Sara couldn’t help the smile from spreading across her face.

“Thanks. Today I don’t feel bad at all - I want nothing more than to live. I’m not sure why I thought it was a good idea to kill myself.”

“Was it more of a spur of the moment thing?” Ethan raised his eyebrows. Spontaneous could be good but that was verging on ridiculous.

“Well. Before I had considered it, because I felt like nothing but a worthless burden on society and I thought it would be better if I was dead but I never wanted to act on it...”

“Before?”

Sara hesitated. Lou had been her rock - even though she was just a dog she was something to lean on, something to keep her on this earth. Their relationship was close and for a long time that’s why Sara had convinced herself to stay on this earth.

“Before my dog died.”

“You had a dog?”

“Yes, her name was Lou. She was my best friend in the entire world, and she got… she got hit by a car.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.” Ethan's words sounded sincere, but they simply weren't big enough for such an enormous loss. No words were.

“It’s ok. The world is too cruel for a good soul like Lou’s.”

They spent the next moment in silence. Sara was reverent with the memories of Lou, a particular one where she first met Lou.