Toilet seats weren’t meant for squatting. Bathrooms weren’t designed to function as hideouts. They screamed - do your business and get out.

Naina had no business locking herself in Tej’s purple bathroom to escape a man from the past – a man who had stood by her through one of the darkest periods of her life.

She massaged her temples and prayed he would leave. The dark toned hues were giving her a massive headache.

She snorted. She knew exactly why her head throbbed. It had nothing to do with the colors. Her impulsiveness had wrecked a relationship, and she would carry that guilt to her grave. She couldn’t look at one and couldn’t talk to another about it.

A soft knock on the door sounded like someone yelling ‘your time’s up’.

Naina opened the door a crack and found Tej’s bounteous curls bob around. Tej stopped pacing and peeked at her through the small opening.

“How long do you plan to stay in there?” she huffed.

“Sshh! Lower your voice. Is he gone?” Naina asked, hopefully.

Tej shook her head. “He is out on the balcony, staring into the universe.” She stepped closer. “For a moment, I thought he might jump.”

“Oh!”

“He’s not spoken a word.” Tej’s brows knit together. “That’s funny because I can swear he spoke a lot yesterday night. Or was it me?”

Naina began to panic. She shouldn’t be here. He shouldn’t be here. He wasn’t supposed to be in the same city as her. Eight years, and she still remembered those words of promise extracted from them both.

Reclaiming the toilet seat, she pulled her legs up and rested her chin on her knees.

“Make him go away, Tej,” she pleaded, her eyes tearing up.

Tej was beside her in an instant. “Doesn’t look like he’s going anywhere without seeing you, babes. He has had like a gallon of black coffee since you locked yourself in here.”

“He hates coffee,” the words slipped out without her knowledge, and both their eyes widened in surprise.

“Umm…it doesn’t look it. He has practically been burning his throat drinking them up.” Tej narrowed her eyes at Naina. “What’s your deal with this guy? Is he bad? Stark raving mad? If he is, just tell me. I can kick his butt off the balcony.”

Naina laughed, despite herself. “No Tej. You think I’d hide in here if he was a bad guy?”

“Right. You would go out there and kick his butt.”

“He is one of the good guys, Tej. In my world, men like him and Varun are rare. Oh God! What did I do?” Naina’s voice broke just as the dam she had kept locked inside, burst open without warning.

The flood of tears running down her cheeks was uncontrollable. Her heart wrenching sobs filled the closed space while Tej tried her best to comfort her friend.

“Bhatia, if you don’t mind can you give us a minute?” Shiv’s deep voice made the women gasp and spring apart, tears drying up faster than a puddle in a hot desert. 

Tej was up in his face in a blink while Naina turned her face away and stood facing the wall.

“Get out! This is a private moment between friends.” Tej felt his massive chest rumble, and she snatched her hands away. She looked momentarily shocked to find her using force on him.

Shiv didn’t utter a word as he wound his arms around Tej’s waist, picked her up, and deposited her outside the bathroom before clicking the door shut.

Naina whirled around hearing the furious banging on the door and met his eyes…for the first time in eight years.

She looked away, unable to stand the scrutiny of his perceptive eyes.

“You shouldn’t,” she whispered.

“I shouldn’t what?”

She shook her head and bit her lip hard. Her fists had her nails digging into her skin and all she could think about was he cut his hair awfully short.

“Your hair. It’s awful,” she blurted. She laughed nervously and heard an answering chuckle.

Shiv cocked his hip against the sink, crossed his arms and pinned his gaze on Naina.

“I shouldn’t cut my hair?” he asked.

“No, I didn’t mean that.” Naina heaved a sigh and dropped down to sit on the commode. “What are you doing here?”

“You tell me. You’re the one hugging the toilet seat like it’s a throne.”

“Shiv,” she raised her eyes to him in exasperation.

“Naina,” he drawled.

She narrowed her eyes. His lips twitched.

“Don’t,” Naina warned, but she couldn’t stop the corners of her mouth lift slightly in acknowledgement.

“I won’t.”

“What are you doing here, Shiv?” Naina stood facing Shiv, her hands wide open by her sides. “We shouldn’t be here, like this,” she said pointing to each other.

“Why?”

Naina found his calmness disconcerting, and it hit her.

“You aren’t just passing through. You are here to stay.” She staggered back at the admission in his eyes. “You must be joking. Varun would never…”

“I don’t care what he wants, Naina. He’s a grown man, he can handle himself.”

“Why are you back?”

“Why?” Shiv uncrossed his arms and straightened. “This is my city, Naina. This is where I grew up.”

“I know that. I thought you must have made a life elsewhere so why return now?”

His stare unnerved her, but she held his gaze for long silent moments.

“I was forced to make a life somewhere. It’s not the same.”

She sucked in a breath. “I wish you didn’t…” she said, clutching the hem of her top. “God! I need to breathe.” She gasped, and Shiv was by her side, helping her out of the room.

He opened the windows to let the air in. Naina sunk into a chair, pulled her legs to her chin and cradled her head in between her shaking hands.

“Are you okay, Nains,” asked Tej from the door.

Lifting her head up, Naina nodded. Tej was shooting daggers at Shiv, who returned her glare.

“Are you sure? ‘Cos I can still kick him out.”

Naina smiled, thankful for her friends’ way of making her feel better.

Perfectly timing it, Shiv dragged a chair, and settled in front of Naina. Ignoring the huffing Tej, he fixed his eyes on her.

“When will you let go of the guilt?” he asked her, his voice stern.

Naina’s eyes widened, throwing a quick glance at Tej who didn’t know anything about their situation.

“Do you mind?” Shiv asked, tilting his head towards Tej.

She puffed out a breath and looked at Naina with concern. At Naina’s quiet assurance that she would be alright, she threw a deadly glare Shiv’s way and left the room.

Shiv leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. She couldn’t escape his enquiring eyes.

“What do you want me to say, Shiv. We deserved it.”

Shiv raised a brow high up into his forehead. “You think I deserved to be banished from the only city I have known my entire life. Left my friends….my best friend, his mother who was the only mother I have known, his life had been my life, Naina. You think I deserved to stay away.”

Naina rolled her lips into her mouth to stop from crying again. She understood his agony but was powerless to do anything about it.

“Tell me. If we deserved it like you say, why was I the only one punished?”

She was too tongue-tied to even blink before he continued.

“And what about Varun? He wasn’t responsible for what happened between us?”

Naina could only lower her eyes as she felt her limbs go numb.

“How can you sit there and absolve him of any blame, Naina?”

“That’s not fair,” she whispered.

Shiv lips thinned, his nostrils flared.

“Look up, Naina. Look into my eyes. Tell me honestly, that he had no part in what happened, and I’ll leave. Once again, I’ll pack my life and leave. This time I’ll not come back. I swear on your little girl I’m yet to meet.”

Naina swallowed the lump in her throat. “Ria…her name’s Ria,” she said, dissolving into tears that just wouldn’t stop rolling down her cheeks.

He kicked the chair back forcefully and stood up. Raking his hands through his hair, he cursed profusely. He took deep breaths of air to calm himself down before he spoke.

“I know. I heard it like some friggin stranger from a random person. This was my best friend’s first born and…and he couldn’t just pick up a phone and call. Two years wasn’t enough space for him to forgive and forget.”

“He was heartbroken,” Naina felt the need to explain. Big mistake.

Shiv’s eyes raged. “He wasn’t even in love with you,” he lashed out in anger.

The cruel words hung in the air as they stared at each other. There wasn’t enough air in the room to swoosh away the enormity of what he said.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” whispered Shiv, his eyes seeking hers for forgiveness.

“It’s the truth.”

“I’m sorry, Naina…I shouldn’t…”

“He wasn’t heartbroken about me, Shiv. Did you ever wonder why he was so quick to forgive me but not you?”

Naina determinedly swiped at her tears with the back of her hands as Shiv let the words sink in. She reached for her handbag, stood up on legs that wobbled like freshly made jelly, and looped her hand through the strap.

Her movements were measured as silence stealthily crept into the room. She made her way to the door, and when she turned around to look at him, her eyes were blank.

“I’m happy you are back, Shiv. No one should be forced to live their life without their best friend.”

*****************

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