The food storage room was half empty by the time I got dressed and ready. What was supposed to last us four weeks of food divided between thirteen people would only last us barely a week's worth. And Bobby and Natalie took the entire bag of guns and ammo. We were weaponless!

Luckily, I didn't like sleeping without a weapon close to me, so the shotgun was all we had left.

"They clubbed me," said Yousef. He was the person on watch duty for the night. "And they also took the rifle. Sorry, Bren. I should've known something was up when Natalie decides to talk to me, you know? A pretty girl like her...shit. I'm an idiot."

Damn, I spat. One more weapon to go out the window. "Where did they leave? Did you see it?"

"I--I," Yousef mumbled. "Well, they might've taken the backdoor toward the garden and then the alley, maybe? Sorry. I didn't see them escape. I was out like a light after they beat me on the head. I might've heard Natalie laughing and talking about a boat, probably my imagination. I could've sworn there were more of them, though."

"The entrance looked intact," said Logan, jogging toward us from the cathedral's West Front. "I don't' think they took off directly toward the streets. It'd be suicide with all the vectors roaming about outside."

"So the back door, then," I said. I turned to Luke and Felipe and asked, "How many did you see from up there?"

"A dozen? Maybe more?" Luke said.

Felipe interjected, "I counted the same, but we don't have direct access toward the school's roof, so we're blind to how many of those things are outside. Plus, it's dark out, so we can't see clearly."

I nodded, still roiling on the inside that this happened. "Fuck," I said under my breath in frustration. I couldn't hide it from the others any longer. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

"I'm sorry, Bren," Yousef frowned.

"No, it's not your fault," I said, trying to console him, though I sounded like I didn't mean it. It didn't make Yousef feel any better, and his frown deepened. I pointed at the wound on his forehead. "Go to Margot. She's back in the storage room with Aria counting what's left of our supplies."

Yousef nodded, glanced worriedly at Luke, and walked away back to the Chapter House's door without a single glance back.

I should've seen it coming. Maybe I was feigning some hope that we could all pull this through together, but the latter seemed impossible. I certainly made it impossible for Bobby to talk to me or for Natalie, but it wasn't like it was a one-way street. They didn't want to be approached by the others either. I couldn't help but think that we pushed them away too far, recklessly causing this plan to snowball into a shit storm.

"Bren," Logan called out, pulling me out of my thoughts. I realized I was staring at the cross by the altar, hanging a nailed Jesus dressed in pure white and a crown of thorns, lost as my mind wandered. "Should we go after them?"

I let out a deep sigh. "They left an hour ago. If they decide to head out on foot, they've at least gained two miles, maybe less than that with all the supplies they had to carry--"

"Unless they got a car," Luke interrupted.

I whirled around and narrowed my eyes at him. "You know something?"

Luke shifted uncomfortably. "Well, Bobby's been sneaking out back the past few days, well, ever since before we ventured out into the school."

"Why the hell am I only hearing about this for the first time? We know the rules. No one goes out alone unless we all agree and know about it."

"I thought he was trying to get some fresh air away from us. I mean, he hates our guts. Then again, thinking about it now, he could be scouting for a vehicle. I didn't think it was going to be a big deal."

"Well, it is now," I snapped. Luke didn't dare say another word and instead slunk back behind Felipe.

"The bastard must be planning this for a long time," Logan growled. "And Natalie..."

"They're going to make a run for the boat," I said. "Hell, it's the only way out of the city. Bobby's been talking about it since the bookstore. Pier 62 is only twelve blocks away, but he has to get the keys from his boss's apartment, three blocks north from here around Chelsea, I think. With an hour to spare, and if Luke thinks they got a car, it'll be enough time to grab those keys."

"We don't even know what the building looks like," Felipe pointed out. "I mean, we can't exactly go door-to-door with those things scurrying about."

"That's true," I admitted, albeit grumbly. "But we're also not taking into account the vectors that they have to go through first. For all we know, they could still be out on the streets."

"Then what are we waiting for? We should go. We can still catch up to them," Logan said.

"Not so fast. Without a car, we're going in blind through the dark. We can't risk it," I said. "It's a safe bet that we should head for Pier 62 instead of going to Chelsea. At least we have an exact location. We'll leave at first light."

"You can't be serious! We can't wait for daylight. It's not until two hours!"

"It might be our only play. Bobby's not going to get that boat."

"How can you be sure?"

"Think about it, Logan. The army surrounds this city. Do you think they're not looking at the docks? The airports? Hell, even the streets? If they move outside the city, they get shot down just like the planes, the bridges, and the tunnels. Those weapons are our only safety net. Food is our only lifeline. We can't risk losing those things or get blown up. We can ambush them at the pier, and we have a better chance of getting those things back there than chasing after them through the dark."

I handed Logan the shotgun. "This is the only ranged weapon we have. I only have ten shells left; Six inside and four to spare. We'll run out of bullets before we cross the next block going after them. But if we sneak toward the pier, we can wait them out. Let them come to us. We have two options; if they survive, we can ambush them at the pier. If they die before that, we can look for their bodies around Chelsea, and we'll still get those supplies back. I see both of those options as a win."

"Oh, shit, I see," Logan said, shaking his head and backed away. "This is your plan? Huh? Are you just going to wait for them to die before swooping in and getting those supplies?"

"Logan, I--" I caught my tongue as I couldn't form the right words, guilt seeped in and turned my head upside down. There was no more time to sugarcoat it.

"Bren, come on, man. I know Natalie's not your favorite or Bobby, but dude, they're still people. We can't leave them out there to die. We don't know if those things out there outnumber us or if more people are hiding out. But I know that all we got is us right now. We can't risk losing more of us to them."

"They went against the interest of the group, and they should face the consequences," I said.

"And that makes it okay?"

"They made their choice, Logan. My goal is to keep everyone here alive, and going after them in the dark will get more people killed. If the vectors don't get them first, the military certainly will. Besides, we know where they are going. It makes things easier. You know we have to think rationally here. If we go after them now, we'll end up like them."

"We've faced worse odds."

I sighed, a smile crept on my face. "Yeah. We did."

"And we managed fine."

"What if this one's going to be the last?"

"As I said, Bren, we've faced worse odds. Come on. You'll have my back, and I'll have yours, remember?"

I looked at Logan, saw his eyes begging for the right answer. He wanted to go after them, though not for the supplies, this much I knew. It was for the same loyalty that he still felt for Natalie, as if he was still responsible for her well-being well after what she did to him and the others. Was I in the wrong to choose who lived and who died even if those people went against my survival? The group's survival? 

Maybe it was blind selfishness, an indulgence to be the hero. I saw that in Logan. Maybe he had it all along in there, deep inside his brutish facade and all the years of bullying, of all the words he armored himself that he didn't care when in reality, he did. He showed it back in the school, sacrificing himself so that the others and I could escape, and I couldn't help but admire him for it.

Was it cowardly of me to wait? Should I let them die?

Then, Logan's words burrowed themselves inside my chaotic mind. The words he uttered to me three nights ago, the first time we shared the room.

You know exactly what to do.

Shit, I spat, grumbling in my thoughts. 

Deep down, I knew Bobby and Natalie were going to pull off something like this, though I let them anyway, blinded by my anger and hate for them. I made Natalie and Bobby desperate, and it's a mistake I had to fix.

I took a deep breath. "Go get Miguel and Joe. We're heading out in ten minutes."

A broad smile formed on Logan's face, and he jogged toward the Chapter House to get Miguel and Joe. Felipe followed after him, excusing himself to let Margot and Aria in on the details. I sat on the nearest pew and stared at the cross.

"Are you sure about this, Bren?" Luke asked.

I nodded. "Logan's right. We can't leave them out there to die, stupid as they are to think they can bulldoze through hundreds of those things."

"You said yourself it'll be dangerous."

"Logan is still right that we shouldn't leave them out there to die. What will we become if we let that happen to us? Are we monsters for doing that? Frankly, I don't want to wait to know."

"These are tough times..."

"And I don't want to make the hard choices, but I have to. I don't want their deaths to hang over me for the rest of my life, and not when I know I can do something about it. You understand?"

"But is it the right choice?"

I didn't have the time to answer him as Miguel and Logan walked out of the Chapter House's door and approached us, a somber look evident on Miguel's face. He held a piece of torn notebook paper in his hand and handed it to me.

"What's this?" I asked. I looked behind them and didn't see Joe trailing behind. "Where is he?"

"I found this in his room. Joe and his son are gone," Miguel said. "They went with them."

I quickly grabbed the paper off of his hands. All that spun in my mind was how Joe could do this? It didn't make any sense. He hated Bobby's guts just as much as I did. I immediately read the words as soon as I unfolded the paper.

Bren,

This isn't on you. You're a good kid, and no matter what anyone says, you're stronger than any of us, even if I see you doubt yourself. Others may not see it, but I do, which makes this harder than I realized. Bobby has a boat. It can only carry six people, not enough room for all of us. The others don't have the heart to leave anyone behind. So, I had to make a decision not just for me but for my son.

I have a family waiting on the other side of that river. Daniel misses his mother and his sisters every day, and I can't break his heart, knowing that we may not see them again. I have to try. As a father, I have to. I have to get out of this city. We're like sardines in this cathedral, waiting to die. But I don't want that for Daniel. You're adamant about staying put, but I'm not. I won't let him die here. I have to do this for my boy.

I'm sorry. I hope we see each other again. Stay strong, kid.

Also, I urged Bobby to leave some supplies for you, but for the guns, we're taking them to where we're going. We're going to need it. It's the least I could do. Goodbye.

Joe.

"He has enough time to write this thing out. He made his mind up a long time ago," I said, realizing.

A black hole whirled to life deep in the pit of my belly. My knees almost weakened from the weight, and my mind spun as the news hit me. Joe went with them and took Daniel with him, surrounded by those things out there in the dark. All I could picture was the vectors tearing through their flesh limb from limb. Now that Daniel and Joe were involved, it became harder for me to choose not to go after them.

Luke grabbed the paper from my hands and quickly scanned its contents. After reading it, he looked up at me, a deep frown evident on his face. "This doesn't change my mind. It's stupid going after them at this time of the night."

Logan narrowed the small gap between him and Luke and immediately stood mere inches away from his face. "No one's asking you to come, asshole."

Luke scoffed, ignored Logan's invasion of his space, and turned to look at me. "Bren, you were right the first time. We shouldn't go out after them right now. Logan's dick might be satisfying, giving it to you every damn night, but that shouldn't be your deciding factor."

Logan's face contorted as he sneered, "What the fuck did you say?"

"You heard me," said Luke.

"Enough!" I yelled, and the two men took a step back, faces fuming as they peered their eyes away from each other and back toward me. "We don't have time for this. We're going out there."

"Damn right," Logan said, puffing his chest up directed at Luke, asserting his stature.

"Shut up," I shushed Logan. "This is going to be dangerous, so I need both of you to follow my lead. And yes, Luke, you are going with us whether you like it or not. Yousef is wounded, Margot is tending with his wound, Felipe needs to be here as a lookout and guard, and Aria and Henry don't know how to fight. It's up to the four of us to go out there and get Joe and the others back."

"We're outgunned--"

"And that's why you need to follow my lead. We'll work with what we fucking got if we want to stay alive. Got it?"

Luke eyed me down harder than he could, his nostrils flaring as he kept glancing at Logan then back to me. I could feel Logan's smirk radiating behind my back, and I wished he didn't as it only made things worse, volatile as it was already. I needed Luke to cooperate.

"If we're saving Joe and his son, then that's a pill I can swallow," Luke said finally. "But I won't think twice about leaving his ex-girlfriend and that asshole tagging alongside her. I want you to know that just in case you changed your mind."

"Don't worry, chico. We'll be right behind you. We're not gonna get your white ass bloodied," Miguel laughed, sauntering toward the back gate. "Are we gonna do this or what?"

Luke took one last look at Logan, imagined daggers shooting out of his eyes directed at the other before he whirled around and followed after Miguel.

I caught Logan's arm before he could take another step and said, "Don't do anything stupid."

"What makes you think that?"

"If Nat is surrounded by those things out there, I want you to--"

"Let me stop your right there, Bren." Logan pulled his arm off my grip. "If--and that's a big if--it comes to that, at least have a little faith in me that I know what to do. Let me carry that burden for once instead of you. It's not all about you."

Logan trudged after the others, though he paused mid-stride as if he forgot something, and turned to look at me with a wide grin on his face. "You still have my back, right?"

I smiled back. For a moment, I'd forgotten about our exchange a second ago. "Yes. You still do."

"Well, don't forget it. You have mine." He turned his heels once again, and this time, he never looked back.

This was going to be a long night.