As stupid it means seem but all of us seek an escape or hide from our problems. some of us just stand by and watch the fighters fight problems worse than ours but yet we dont want to fight. even if we do, we do weight the consequences. Who is a bigger bully? the world or your own thoughts? quotes i have read so far says our thoughts. But is it really the case?

As much as i hate to admit it, it's the world.

And for me, my world always has been animals, family and friends. Strangers, i dont give a damn to their critisim if i didnt ask for it.

but what leaves You pained? stressed?

ever felt that you were laughing and having fun just a minute ago

and then later something happened within that minute and all you want to is to run away?

from everyone around you? so that you could be left alone in darkness, swallow some part of it and see how strong you can be?

Only cause you know you're foolish? a coward that doesnt have guts to face your problems or problem head on?

I dont know what's more haunting

Past that you were desperately trying to ignore come and punch you in the face and leave immediately with a nose bleed from your side?

or the fact that it returned... it will come again and you're nothing else but a worthless peice of shit! who is not more than a coward!

Here is a poem i wrote

one of the latest one so yeah u can or maybe perhaps maybe feel those emotions

(Edit; I had written it here on the spot then, 2 years or 3 years ago)

I can't escape if I want to
I ran as far as I could
But it's back haunting
The same old unfelt pain

I thought I was strong
But it overpowers me
Is there no escape?
Somewhere I'll like to be?

The feeling that I try to ignore
The questions I try to dodge
The memories that now seems fake
Is my existence even worth it all

It's hard to think
When you're feeling desperate
Sorrow comes and punches on ur face
Still you refuse to cry

I wish I could hold hands
But the introvert in me has risen
The extrovert is now a flashback
Who vanished as soon as it saw the past

It's there
Standing strong
Could I escape?
Or should I fight now?

Should I fight even if it leads to torture
Should I yell that now I understand it all
The horrorfull devastating words still inside my head
The voices whom I ignore for months
Stand long and stared

What now? I ask myself
And all I get as response is hide
Hide from friends
Break the contact

I know I can do it with ease
But I don't want to
Even acting online is a pain
Even though I need to

I have to face the truth
I have to see what's right what's wrong
What's true what's lie
Should I fight?

All I want to is escape
All I want to is run
From the reality as if to play
The way I want it to be

I know I have to face it sometime
But maybe I can keep running?
Maybe I can keep hiding?

All I need is an escape now

...All I need is an escape now...

I could finally see the devil behind the face
But I still refuse to accept this phrase
Can I still continue the chase
With it fastening its pace?

All I want is an escape...

I saw her there
Fed up with everything
She rises so high
Against the storm coming
And still failing

I saw her seek for help
But she was declared mentally ill
I saw her still standing strong
Will I ever feel her pain?

Her eyes that had cried
Still had the face of a warrior
Her voice that cracked
Still was able to stand for herself

And all I could do is see her there
Standing all alone
Facing the storm dead on
Falling back yet again

The storm was clever
It got people fly with it
And she stood on the ground desperate
Yet refuse to let it detain her spirit

I was a coward
I am a coward
As I watched her stay strong
And imagined if I could be the same?

But all I cared was for as escape from her
I am a coward there is no denying
She stood tall with no one by her side
And I stood low with many by my side

I could never go against the storm

All I need is an escape