I quietly wait at the doctors office for him to come back with the news.  I sit on a chair next to his desk and tap my fingers on the arm rest of the chair while my leg is bouncing up and down, a habit I've done since I was a little girl when ever I'm nervous. I hear a knock on the door and my doctor, Dr. Hanson come in, he was holding a stack of papers in his hands and he had a slight, but sympathetic smile on his face, I knew what was coming either I had gotten better, or I got worse, no in between, I knew there was a slight chance of me getting better. I grip on to the handle of my oxygen tank, I had stage 3 lung cancer how could it get better, if it was already "worse". the doctor began to speak.
     "I'm so sorry to inform you that the tests came back positive and that you have stage 4 lung cancer, we are planning to start you off with treatment such as chemotherapy as soon as possible, you just need to sign a couple papers" he paused, letting all his words sink in "I truly am very sorry" he said with a sad look in his eyes. My eyes began to water as I nodded my head slightly he got up to get the papers for me to sign he reached for the door to leave and gave me a hopeful smile and left.
After signing all the papers I began walking into my car and put my machine in the passenger side I sat in the quiet, I enjoyed the peace, the quiet it was the only time I could have any, at home it was constant yelling and my drunk mom and her boyfriend being reckless, I looked out the window
"I'm gonna fucking die" I thought to myself, my eyes began to water and before I knew it I was uncontrollably sobbing in my car, I couldn't go home, I began driving God knows where to find somewhere to stay for a couple of hours