"A daughter without her mother is a broken woman. It is a loss that turns into arthritis and settles deep within her bones."
-Kristin Hannah

Mystic Falls

May 1858

"I am so sorry, Mr. Salvatore. Lillian Salvatore died of consumption this morning. We tried all that we could. But she stopped breathing." Our family doctor spoke to my Father in a low voice. I knew my Mother was sick, but not that sick.

My hand covers mouth as tears fill my eyes. Father ordered Stefan, Damon and I to our rooms until he says otherwise. But I needed to know what was going on. I hold myself against the wall where my Father would not see me eavesdropping. I listen to the doctor continue to tell my Father of my Mother's condition before she passed. As soon as I hear him leave, I make myself known to Father. Tears running down my cheeks.

"How could you do it?" I ask through my tears. Noticing that my Father is not even crying. I look at him. "How could you send her away and let her die alone?" I whimper out.

Father looks at me. "Why are you down here, Winifred? I told you to go to your room." He mutters, bringing his glass of whiskey to his lips.

I shake my head. "Do not ignore me. Answer my question. How could you do it?" I ask again.

"I had to send her away for treatment. Being home was not the best for her. There were many doctors to help her at that facility." Father says, looking at me.

"Mother should of been here. I could of taken care of her. I have been studying medicine for years." I wipe my tears away with the back of my hand.

"No you could not help her, Winifred. Your Mother was too far gone. End of discussion. She is dead." His voice raised as he throws his empty glass at the wall. It shatters into a million pieces. "Now go get your brothers. I need to tell them the news." He orders me.

I want to say more, but I hold my tongue. I nod to him before turning around to the hall. I walk slowly. Both Damon and Stefan are in my room, waiting on me to tell them what's going on.

Hours later....

I have cried more today than I will in a lifetime. I was just getting used to the idea of her being in the hospital. I could visit her whenever I want, but she is gone. I can't go visit her and talk to her about Barnie or ask her what to do about Damon and Stefan when they are in trouble. My Mother was my best friend, my hero. She handled Father so well and now I am left to deal with him.

I pull down my covers as I get ready for bed. I have brushed my teeth, changed into a nightgown and braided my hair. I am about to slide into bed when there is a knock on the door. "Who is it?" I mutter. Sniffling a little as tears built up again in my eyes.

The door opens, revealing Stefan. His eyes are as red and puffy as mine and he is even clutching his teddy bear that our Mother gave to him. "Can I sleep with you tonight?" He asks so low that I almost don't hear him. I nod to him and he walks into the room.

Stefan doesn't even get to shut the door because Damon walks into view. "Can I?" He asks, looking toward the bed.  Stefan is already climbing into bed.

I nod to Damon. "Sure. Come on. We need the sleep." I say. Sliding in next too Stefan. Damon gets in on the other side so Stefan is in the middle. "We have a big day tomorrow. Sweet Dreams. And goodnight." I lean up and kiss both their foreheads. I pull the blankets up around us.

"Goodnight, Win. Night Damon." Stefan mutters into the pillow.

"Night buddy. Goodnight Nini."Damon says as he turns away from us.

"Goodnight." I whisper. Thank the lord that I have a huge bed or we wouldn't fit in this bed together. I feel Stefan wrap his arms around my torso and I wrap my arms around him. Letting him snuggle up to me. For an 11 year old, he was hurting just as much as Damon and I.

Before I found myself crying again, I close my eyes. Trying to keep my thoughts from roaming about my Mother. Tomorrow will be one of the hardest days of my life.

Next Day....

May 1858

I wake up to Stefan crying. Looking around to see Damon was gone from bed. I pull Stefan close to me. "I saw Mama. She told me that she was our guardian angel..." He sobbed. I knew he had dreamed up our Mother. Because she was gone, not able to come back to us.

"It was a dream, Stef. I'm sorry." I whisper to him.

Stefan shakes his head, looking up at me through his tears. "She was here. I just saw her. But she jumped out the window when you woke up." He points his finger. I look over to where he was pointing at my window. It was actually wide open. I never open it before bed.

I ignore the chills that run down my spine as I think of how my window would be open. Maybe Damon did it. He is like his own heater with how hot he gets. I kick Stefan out of my room so I could get ready.

Walking over to my closet. I pull out my black dress from the back. It was a simple black cotton dress. I love how it flows down to the floor. I quickly wash myself. And slip on my dress over my underwear. I pull my hair out of its braid and let it lay down my back in curls. My Mother loved my hair,so I will wear it down for her.

I brush my teeth and slip on some black heels. Once I'm done, I walk across the hall to Stefan's room. I know on the door before walking in. Stefan stood in front of his mirror with a black suit on; he was fumbling with his tie. Not really paying attention too me.

"Here let me help you." I say. Stefan jumps when I touch his shoulder. He smiles lightly at me. I could tell he was trying to hold himself together. I was too. I pull him over to the bed and help him with his tie. "You look very handsome, Stefan." I smile at him.

"Thank you. You look very handsome too." Stefan smirks.

"Your welcome, Stef." I kiss his forehead.

There is a knock on his door once more. We both look up to see Damon in the doorway. "Father is ready to go. I wanted to make sure you two were ready." He says solemnly.

I nod before I stand. Taking hold of Stefan's hand. I walk with him toward Damon. I grab hold of Damon's hand with my other hand. We walk down the stairs together. I hold their hands tightly. Knowing that if I were to let go now, I would surely cry. And Father doesn't say anything to us.

Father takes one carriage and we take the other. Nothing is said as we watch out the windows of the carriage. We were nearing the cemetery. Just as we pull up, it hits me like a ton of bricks that we were burying my Mother.

Everything is a blur for the most part. I remember listening to our Pastor pray for our Mother's journey to heaven and he let a few people say a few words. My Father didn't do anything. He just stood there beside me. Stefan held tightly to my hand. He squeezed my hand ever so often. And Damon was on the other side of Father. I watch as our Mother's casket lowers into the ground and is buried. Once that was all over, we were to go home and everyone bring us food. I let Stefan and Damon ride with Father while I stayed a little bit longer.

I pull up my dress slightly and plop down onto the grass next to Mother's grave. Looking at her gravestone. I didn't look up when I felt someone sit beside me on the grass. "I am so sorry about your Mother, Winnie." Barnie says. His large hand found my tiny one and he squeezes gently. "I know how it feels to lose someone that you love, especially someone so close." He mutters.

Tears fill my eyes again. "I could have helped her. I am a doctor. I save people everyday in the war." I whisper. My watery blue eyes never leaving the gravestone.

Lillian 'Lily' Salvatore
A Daughter. A Sister. A Friend. A Wife and a Mother. Now an Angel.
March 1815- May 1858

"I know, Sweetie. But it just wasn't enough. It was her time to go. We can't decide that. Only God can." Barnie lifts my hand gently and kisses it.

I couldn't help but glare at him as he said that. "God was supposed to heal her. He is supposed to be merciful. Yet he let my Mother die." I almost hiss at him.

I can't tell whether he wanted to pray for God to forgive my words or slap me. But what he does next stunned me to my core. Barnie pulls out a bottle of whiskey. "I don't condone ladies such as yourself to get drunk. But I feel like you need this." He says. Setting the bottle to the side. "Lucille is leaving for school tonight so I must see her off. Please don't endanger yourself. Go home to drink that." He says before leaving me there in the grass.

I just nod my head. I wasn't going home to let my Father take away my whiskey. I didn't want to see the man, let alone be in the same house with him at the moment. I pop open the bottle. Lifting it to my lips, I take a big gulp. Letting it burn it's way down my throat. I keep doing that until I can't lift the bottle no more and I feel my eyes droop. I know I will soon be passed out because I can't take my liquor that well. I feel the bottle drop out of my hand. And I fall back onto the grass. Staring up at the starry sky. I giggle to myself as I realize I have been here since morning. I close my eyes slowly. Letting the darkness take me.

I wake up to someone carrying me. I snuggle up into their chest. "You better not get sick on my, Nini!" Damon snaps at me. I groan as I don't want him ruining my drunken state. I feel him shuffle me within his arms and we walk through some door. Within seconds, we were climbing up a set of stairs.

"Where are you taking me?" I mumble. I try to look up at him and my vision makes me dizzy so I close my eyes again. Groaning even more. I feel him lay me down.

"You are home, Winnie. And you need sleep. Father didn't notice you were gone but I know he will be upset with you if he sees you." He mutters. Kissing my forehead gently. And I feel myself fall back into my drunken stupor of darkness.

***I know this is sad, but this is a big part of what made Winnie into who she was. You will see the results in future chapter that are set in the present. Comment and vote. I love you all!!!***