What did I do? Why did I tell Eloise I would fix it for her? I can't fix it. Well, I can, but I do not want to. I am messing it all up. Now I have to choose between revealing myself and disappointing everyone except for Eloise or not revealing myself and having Eloise get in trouble with the queen. Now I wish I had Louis next to me, maybe he could tell me what to do.

"Olivia, can I talk to you for a moment?" it is Benedict,

"of course"

"I would like to tell you something and I hope you do not find it offensive"

"Just tell me Benedict" I smile,

"I wanted to say that, Anthony may be pressuring you a lot but that does not mean you need to let him walk over you. If you wish to marry the prince, I am the last one to stop you, truly. But if you need more time, or you try to convince us you love him simply because you feel like you are obligated to, then tell me. I can talk to Anthony if you'd like"

"thank you, Benedict. And I do not find this offensive, at all. Although the prince and I really have fun. That is not something we pretend. I simply do not wish to marry him instantly. I barely know him and I am frightened I might make the wrong decision"

"I understand. We all do, Olivia. Take your time, please, we do not like to see you leave" I smile down, "now, is it true you can unmask that horserider?"

"I am not sure. But Eloise was worried"

"do you have any leads yet? And clues?" he asks teasingly and I look up at him. The fear is evident in my eyes and I feel guilty. I can see the realization sneak up to his eyes and his shoulders drop,

"it is you..." I look down again, "the reason you left because you felt 'sick', the reason you take these long walks. Wait, was it you sneaking out of the house at night?"

"you noticed that?" I ask afraid,

"yes, I heard, but I thought it was a cat."

"look, Benedict, I am sorry, it just happened and now I am stuck. But I must reveal myself this Saturday, I must save Eloise..."

"Why did you never tell us you were this good?"

"who would ever believe a girl?" I ask sighing,

"I would." He says resident, "my cousin, the best horserider in the city..."

"you are not angry...?"

"well, it was not the smartest thing to do, but how could I expect differently anyways. And I believe it is time for London to realize women are just as superior as men, maybe even better"

I smile, "yes, maybe you are right. But you will not tell Anthony about this right?"

"Anthony? No, he would stop you and I cannot wait to see the look on his face when he realizes it was his cousin all along"

"he will murder me..."

"he would attempt to, yes, but I'd stop him for you"

"wow, heroic Benedict..." I tease,

"I could also let him kill you..." he laughs,

"thank you, Benedict"

"whatever are you thanking me for, cousin?"

"for believing in me"

....................

Dear readers,

Tomorrow is the day we have all been looking forward to, the finals of the London horseriding competition. The fifteen best competitors have been qualified themselves over the last couple of weeks and tomorrow will be seen who is the number one.

I have placed my bets on the mysterious William Williams, who managed to capture all eyes at his first race. Since that moment we have not been able to keep our eyes off of him and we all have the same questions. Who is he truly? And what is he hiding under that hat?

As rumors go, it has come to my ear no one but Eloise Bridgerton has been chosen by the queen to solve this mystery. She has gotten the task to unmask him before the winner is announced and the prizes are received. Will she be able to find his real identity? Or is Eloise Bridgerton simply an amatuer. I believe it is the first option, but we shall see tomorrow. I hope you are looking forward to it as much as I am.

Yours truly,

Lady Whistledown

..................

How lovely, lady Whistleodnw is not exactly pressuring me less, is she? The competition is only one day away and I have not been able to speak to Louis about my problem with Eloise. He has no idea of my plan, he does not know I will reveal myself while riding upcoming Saturday and I am afraid he may not concur. Unfortunately for him, it does not matter, I promised to help Eloise, and so I will.

I would understand if Louis stops talking to me after that, in the end, he is a prince and I will be the biggest scandal of all time. I do not think his parents would approve of us parading together anymore, nor do I think he would like to see me again himself. Oddly, I am not preparing my goodbye and neither am I very sad. I have enjoyed being someone else the past weeks very much and I do not regret it. If the prince believes otherwise, we would not be compatible anyway.

The only thing I am scared of is Anthony. Benedict may stop him from strangling me but he cannot stop him from kicking me out of the house. I am praying there is a heart in Anthony somewhere. Maybe a tiny one. One he may show when deciding if he shall keep me or not. Now it sounds as if I am a dog.

But what if he truly kicks me out? Where would I go? I have no home, no house, not one family member I know of, and zero friends. All I have are the judgments and the stares, but they will not keep me warm at night...