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M A N I K

With a sudden flash of lightning, the perpetual darkness was defeated before it went back to being all black. The rain hit the outside walls like it would seep right through or wished to wash the quietness like a river would rise. My legs were stretched on the mini table before where I had all kinds of powders and pipes scattered but eyes, strictly and hardly at the window. Just when my eyes were getting adjusted to the pitch black darkness, sudden new path of zig zags cut through the stormy blanket of grey.

'H..hello, Sir?'

'Ah, Abhimanyu....yes.'

'Sir I-I..'

'Where's the damn girl?'

'I-I.....One doesn't know. I haven't been able to locate her yet. Her roommate Aaliya couldn't say a word.'

'...Are you telling me a flesh and blooded girl vanished in the thin air? Is that what you're implying?'

'I..looked for her everywhere and I'm not lying.'

'Very well. Then you do one thing. Start looking for her again and you won't go home till you bring her before me.'

'Um y-yeah sure. J-just give me some more ti-'

'Fifteen minutes. That's all you've got.'

'Sir, fif-fifteen minutes? How can I-'

'If I were you, I wouldn't want to waste time talking.'

'....'

'Hello? I know you still there.'

'Y-yes.'

'I'm positive that you're gonna bring me some constructive news the next time you call me which is exactly in ... fourteen minutes and thirty seconds. Ah yes, one more thing. We otherwise don't want someone else to make enquiry about where the hell Abhimanyu Sachdev went missing, do we?'

'.....'

It's always like a fucking horror movie in my head. Or, I just love writing the scenes of my life that way. My eyes in the dead blackness were stony looking at the grandfather clock which was only thirty seconds away from ticking fifteen minutes. I was in a calm rage which was advancing towards a conclusion with a devil on shoulder.

It's about time.

Pinching the paper between my fingertips, I rolled it back and forth to pack the cocaine down into its final shape. Licking its sides, I sealed it from end to end staring at the piece of art in my hands. Oh how I was just a moment away from a gorgeous euphoria when my eyes suddenly moved up to the clock as the lightning struck painting my black vision momentarily electric white and it was only a matter of couple of seconds. Drumming fingertips on the arm of the couch, I dipped my fingertip into the powder - quickly kissing my tongue and soon as I did, some hysteric grin took over my lips. I lived for shits like this in life.

And, then it happened.

The damn phone rang.

The caller's name flashed in the darkness. I might have looked extremely sweet with that grin on my face but let me tell you one secret, I'm merciless.

Murdering the ringtone, I picked up on the third ring only to hear a very panting Abhimanyu. "Yes, my boy?"

"Chandigarh." He said fighting for oxygen as if he had been running a marathon.

Smirking, I slid my phone on the couch without ending the call with a never erased sharp smirk on my lips and brought the powder close to my nostrils; inhaling it hard like my life depended on it.

N A N D I N I

"Pay by cash or card, madam?" The receptionist at the Life Care Hospital asked for the third time.

"Um..ca-card, please." Hesitantly, I extended my hand and she took the plastic card.

My heart offered prayers to God as she was swiping it on the machine praying it to not get declined. The last three days, in apprehension of finding below minimum balance in my account, I ignored checking considering how in the last two weeks money flew out of it like river on a tide. A huge sigh blew out of my lips as the beep happened and the receipt was printed out and I thanked God silently for not rejecting me.

"Kindly take a seat, madam as I'll prepare the discharge papers for you in about ten minutes." She smiled stapling few pages and I nodded forcing my tired body to move.

It was 4:30 at the clock in a cold January morning which meant nothing but quietness. The ceiling lights were still and hiding my palms inside my worn out cardigan sleeves, I sat in silence. I don't exactly remember for how long I kept sitting there with my thoughts running loose but when a sweeper entered followed by a hospital staff who was replacing yesterday's newspapers by today's, I realised beside them, I was the only one.

Bending over, I picked up a newspaper for myself but the second I unfolded, the headline made me groan. As usual. Suddenly the coldness of this wintry morning began to pierce my heart because I knew better that my life was stuck on a repeat mode of bad days. Why was my each day like the previous? 

My body slightly tensed when a coffee cup was pushed underneath my chin and glancing at the offeror, I acknowledged the familiarity.

"Got you some coffee." Navya took a seat beside carefully wrapping the shawl around her body.

"Thanks." Putting the paper back in the stand, I took the coffee silently rotating the stirrer in the liquid.

"What did they write today?" She asked adding sugar to her coffee whilst pushing a strand falling out of her messy bun behind ear.

"The usual." I replied shortly.

"Yet why do you have to read them every morning?" Our low voices, I realised were the only sounds in the empty huge waiting arena.

"Because it feels amazing to have your feelings crushed." My voice sure did sound different and in a hurry to hide my emotions as I took a sip, the warm liquid burned my lip.

Navya, rotating her neck gave me a quiet look while I dabbed the droplet from my chin. How I wished I could treat pain like a coin purse; something spare, sparse, to be exchanged for something else but no, it fucking did hurt.

When my name was called, Navya patted my head saying she'll take care of the formalities and asked me to have my coffee. Placing the coffee beside, I bent over pulling the same newspaper out only to see the face that I knew was going to bring a cloud of thousand tears.

Unintentionally, my finger on its own began moving over the cheekbone in the image which I knew I once felt in real. The curve of those lips which I touched. The edge of those magnificent eyes which once captured my image.

When we visit a doctor complaining about something that hurts, they ask is it a sharp pain? A dull pain? Does it come and go or is it always there? Funnily, missing him wasn't exactly on the same page because missing him did hurt. It was like a dull pain in my heart that never went away. It never left. And, even if it did for a split second, then it was back with a sharper pain. A pain that made me remember every kiss, every hug, every touch, every laughter. The pain of missing him never left. There was no medication. No magic fix. The dull pain in my chest was growing like the weight of the world was sitting on my chest and therefore my pain was incurable.

Putting the paper back, I sighed defeatedly as one staff switched the television on and the news channel with which it started made me feel more dead inside.

One man. Different names.

One face. Bazillion masks.

One identity. Hundred personalities.

One superstar. Uncountable haters.

They all started calling him names. His face was on every channel like the entire last week and mind you, for all the wrong reasons. Some said, this was the beginning of his end. Some said, too much of stardom got into his head and some said, the star had hit the dust.

The channel repeatedly kept playing footages from last night coming of Manik out of a pub, stoned with a lady by his side. Slurry and tremendously unstable being tackled by his bodyguards and when one journalist, as usual, piped in a controversial topic, he flipped. Breaking through the wall of bodyguards, he not only attacked the journalist but also made sure to break his camera.

Did he ever leave the news these days? A day prior to that, he was seen coming out of a horse race with celebrity friends when suddenly a female fan asked him for a selfie and he was shamelessly caught on camera being unnecessarily rude. Not to forget, how a day before a fan tweeted about spotting the actor out on a street with a bottle of bourbon and talking to a call girl in the middle of a night. The news went viral when he was mobbed by paparazzis and later that night, he was recorded to be reaching his shooting set yelling and breaking things.

Controversy of that evening didn't die yet when he was charged with drunk driving and he raised his hand on the police who got him a ticket. His father ultimately with his ministerial powers had to get his son off the hook even then when his son was spotted coming out of a five star hotel with an anonymous lady by his side at dawn. There was not a recent single picture of him on social media where he was neither drunk nor stoned.

What changed so much?

The moment I landed here, I needed to hear his voice because for once I expected him to be offering me his shoulder even though virtually. But I was wrong. And, in the moment of crisis, I did what seemed to be emotionally not wrecking me which was stay away from all his mess right then because for once, I had to make my parents a priority. It was not like I gave up on him but I needed a few days.

"Let's go?" Navya stood blocking my sight to television and I nodded after a moment wrapping my mind around the current situation.

"Papa?" I asked her.

"Time for discharge is eleven. How about you go home and change the clothes you have been wearing since Abraham Lincoln became the President?" She made me stand dragging my elbow.

"I'm just fine. It's about a couple of hours." I voiced tiredly.

"It's your mother's order. She wants you to go home." She raised her eyebrows sensing my protest.

"I'm fine, I'm telling you." I tried resisting.

"Nandini," She voiced pushing me lightly rom behind. "what your motherly basically has asked for is you to go home..freshen up..look like a human and set up the home for your father's return. Who knows he might be having another heart attack seeing his only daughter look like a trash bin?"

"Alright, alright..fine. Stop pushing me, first." I gave her a forced feeble smile seeing her grin.

Soon as my smile faltered, she observed me well. "What is it, Nandini?"

"What is it not, Navya?" While walking towards the parking lot, I answered.

"You should be jumping around, silly because your father after this long battle with fate is going home today." She tried sounding chirpy but I could tell she was equally tired.

"I'm thankful for that, trust me but...what happens now? I mean, with no job it's bloody hard for me to take care of my parents and I know, this only going is to get harder. I don't know what am I going to do, Navya? How am I going to take care of his further medical bills or pay basic bills for my family? Only I know how I overcame this situation with your help and my minuscule savings. What kind of daughter would I be if tomorrow my mother has to sell her jewellery?" My head was starting to hurt.

"Hey, things are going to be in your control. It's about time, babe." She squeezed my shoulder as we were under the light orangish sky walking towards my car.

"Time, eh? All I can see before my eyes is layers of dark clouds." I breathed out. "You tell me, Navya. You're my best friend. Am I just a loser?"

"Hey? Stupid, yes. Bad taste in men, definitely yes but loser? Never in a million years. You're my tigress." She wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

"There have been at least two dozens of applications I have sent in the last two weeks but I never heard from any. I know, it all goes further downhill from here." Hiding forehead in my fingers, I stood.

"I know, life might seem to be caught on a whirlwind but my sweetheart, you aren't dead yet. So keep trying. And, don't you dare go near uncle with that stupid sad face." Nodding vaguely, I pretended to agree.

"Come, I'll give you a ride." I offered unlocking the door. Since she was my neighbour, that was just not a thing to ask.

"Erm.." Scratching her forehead, she halted. "I have places to go right now, babe but I'll see you back here in a few hours."

"..Sure." Pressing my lips nodding my head, I unlocked the door quickly turning the car heater on.

Sighing poorly, I rested my forehead on the steering wheel to summarise my gruesome situation when ear piercingly, the horn blew out loud in the hospital parking and jumping in my seat, I lifted my head quickly taking my vehicle out of there.

Driving through the same old roads helped memories wash over me of the times I used to be that hopeless fangirl who had no care in the world if it had nothing to do with her superstar. The shop in the corner from where I used to buy his posters hadn't opened yet..the karaoke station where I used to compete for his movie songs with Navya was closed.. the river bank sitting on which after bunking school I used to stick his newspapers cuttings to my slam book seemed less vivid. Never did she know that she might end up getting a job that would have her soul twisted in agony and heart - a slave to her boss. Mainly because never had she been a calm blue sea with that man in her life. It was always a storm.

Nothing comes without complications. Not even love. He liked to hurt me unintentionally. Maybe, enjoyed knowing I'm somewhere in pain because of his lack of emotions. Maybe, he used to have euphoria seeing me beg for his love or maybe, took immense pleasure in the notion that it was him and not any other man cutting my heart. I didn't expect him to love me, honestly even though putting my guards down, I let him get that close to me and my body because wishing for a star is different than wishing to hold it in your hands. Far more rational but either way it hurts you because a star would always look at the moon.

Gasping, I pressed the brake rapidly seeing a man to be leaning on the bonnet of his parked car in the middle of the road and looking around I realised, I was leaving my house behind boarding the train of never ending thoughts. Unbuckling the seatbelt, I narrowed my eyes looking at the man and discerning who it most definitely was, I got down taking my own time.

"Hey, stranger." Randhir snapped his neck my way maintaining his lethargic posture.

"Hey, you." I replied without an emotion.

"Wow, you look fresh as a daisy." I noted that sarcasm.

"This is how a jobless girl looks." I moved hands up and down my length.

"Oh, come on..." he groaned straightening his posture as I neared. "You are being way too pessimistic."

"Poverty isn't poetry." I stated.

"You. Last week I assisted shortlisting the companies, remember? Things aren't as stagnant as you're negating them to be." He flatted his lips.

"Well, flash news. I haven't heard from any." Slowly raising his eyebrows, he gave me a poised look.

"Relax, if it doesn't work out anywhere else then we still have got this universal option for you i.e. McDonald's." He literally pronounced i.e.. Huh.

Sighing, I turned my eyes towards my locked house door. "Are you coming with me? Mother and I have failed convincing you to give up staying in hotels but you at least can come in now for a tea...if you want to." Pressing the back of my neck, I uttered fighting a yawn.

He grinned cheekily. "I surely do but only when you have sufficiently rested. You seriously look terrible. Can't believe I just said that." He mumbled the last sentence to himself.

"I know." I spoke sounding exhausted.

"Not kidding. You seriously do." He chuckled and I rolled my overtired eyes slowly.

"When is your father making his grand entry by the way?" The reminder of my father coming back to us brought a touch of peace to my soul.

"In a few hours. Are you going to wait outside till then?" Bored, I questioned.

"Dare I say yes." He winked taking backward steps towards his car. "See you in a few hours, daisy. I like that name now. You might actually have to make an affidavit and change your name."

Widening eyes at his stupidity, I turned around. "Pick me up at half past ten then, driver."

He sure did say something witty but I happened to close the door behind and let my body crash on the couch. My eyes were still at the unmoving ceiling fan not knowing how I should have really felt. Sleeplessness was taking solid toll over my body and even if I wanted, I was not in power to move a finger but my eyes, they weren't ready to shut.

That was the moment I asked myself if Manik really was like everything I never imagined him to be. If he was, I threw the bitter question my way, would I still continue loving him and not give my heart to someone who probably was waiting for just a single nod to crash and burn his own world for my sake?

Everybody knew. My parents knew. My best friend Navya knew. My heart too knew that the way Randhir felt for me it was something more than what best friends do. And, I don't know what weighed my heart more that I was unable to give myself to someone who's unconditionally in love with me or that, my heart was just a punching bag for Manik's emotions. He probably wasn't thinking of me and that fucking hurt.

'Just another day', I kept telling myself awaiting a single text message that never was going to come. And, I was bloody feeling sorry for myself for not being a song that could get stuck in his head.

So, the question still remained. Was I going keep burning in love for him because if there's going to be another life, I don't think I still would be enough for him. The answer came... that if I were allowed to make one last mistake in life then it would be continuing to love the man who would continue breaking my heart. And, if I were damned for making the mistake, the mistake's name would still be Manik Malhotra.

When Manik came to my world, he turned it into a black rose. Different and unreal but beautiful in its own kind.

A R Y A M A N

"I still don't understand why you did done what you have done." My eyes shot up to Dad as I barged in his office.

"As if one rebellious son wasn't enough for one life...." Mumbling under his breath, he capped the pen.

"Dad, never ever in my life have I questioned a single decision of yours but this time...how could do you this?" My eyes squinted as blood started shooting up to my head.

"Come again?" He asked slouching back in his swivel chair.

For a second, I halted for I saw the shadow of the same man in him; the man who once tormented Manik and my childhood.

"How could you make Manik such an offer? Don't you know he has completely lost his shit?" Immediately I bit my bottom lip holding my tongue.

"Don't you know I'm doing everything possible so he is able to get his 'shit' together?" He air quoted my choice of word.

"But you can't make me suffer for that idiot?" Coming near his table, I stopped. "You can't do this injustice to me because you want to do right by him!"

Poised, he took a breath before standing up buttoning his coat. "Aryaman, my son.." He smiled and God knew how that smile froze my childhood memories. "I will do whatever it takes to make you both survive. Whatever it takes."

Patting my shoulder a couple of times, he we walked out of the door whilst I stood weighing my life options. In no way was I at the luxury of going against my father nor was I going to bow down to him sacrifice me like every time else because of his favourite son.

"You can't save both of us, Dad. Not this time." Words fell.

N A N D I N I

"I'm going to make everybody tea." I stood up, grinning.

"Why, is that your favourite job nowadays?" Randhir remarked.

"Why, can you offer her a job of a CEO otherwise?" Navya commented glancing over Randhir.

Offended, Randhir parted his lips. "You know what-"

"Guys, please don't start. It's only been three days Papa came home and let's not make him more sick with you two's meaningless bickering." My mind was positive this evening as I could let nothing go wrong.

We all were relaxing at the couch in the living room and I couldn't get happier seeing my parents normally talking to each other. My father's face was no more pale. My mother's smile was no more lost.

"Who is sick by the way?" Father questioned and I held my ear, apologising. "I like these two kids, in fact. They are like a breath of fresh air."

Mother laughed. "Are you allowed to talk that much?"

"What is it with women not wanting men to talk? Randhir, doesn't the Constitution provide for equal talking rights to men?" Father joked and Randhir dashed a popcorn in his mouth.

"The last time I checked, yes the laws aren't amended yet." Randhir replied and Papa gave Mamma a cute smile.

Randhir suddenly glanced at me. "In fact, the law says nothing about women controlling or dominating a good-natured, soft-hearted man."

I rolled my eyes.

"If you gotta talk about yourself, you need being less obvious, you know?" Navya being the sassy her, remarked. Since the time I introduced Navya to Randhir, they ticked off like Tom and Jerry.

"And, you don't have to talk at all, you know?" Randhir snapped, frowning.

"Oh my God..." Papa laughed placing hand on his heart and my eyes quietly stayed at his heart; thankful to almighty. "You two remind me of Nandini's mother and I."

Both Randhir and Navya's smile fell flat.

A chuckle rolled out of my throat, "Papa, do you mean you ship Randhir and Navya?"

"Yeah, I mean...it's entertaining." Father replied.

"With due respect, Sir, out of all the things you ever said in life, this was the most upsetting one." Shaking his head, Randhir dashed another popcorn in.

"No, but what is meant by shipping?" Navya scrunched his nose causing Randhir to roll his eyes.

"Navya, when you like two people, you ship them." I smiled.

She moved her confused eyeballs left and right. "Ship them where?"

As all of us broke into giggles and chuckles save and except one person who was totally salty about Navya's naivety. Grabbing the cushion, Randhir sat straight glaring at her.

"Are you kidding me? Nandini, why are you even friends with her?" He truly, whole heartedly sounded pissed.

"I know," Navya smiled cheekily. "She doesn't deserve a friend as awesome as I am." Her hand quickly swatted the thick hair on her shoulder in pride.

"Totally. And, this is my queue to go make that tea." I stood up.

"Not for me." Mamma raised her hand.

"Randhir, coffee for you?" Since I knew he was more of a coffee person.

"You are a sweetheart." He smiled standing up. "So, if we all are in a celebration mood this evening, why not I go and get us all some more snacks."

"I would love that." Papa said quickly earning a glare from mother.

Randhir pressed his lips tightly in a smile glancing at Papa. "Good joke."

Just as Randhir took his exit, father smiled. "Is he just not a son-in-law material?"

"You just can't change team." I reminded my father. "So, I'll go and make that tea-"

"Oh for God's sake go and make that damn tea, woman!" Navya snapped and rolling my eyes, I went into the kitchen hearing my parents suppress a laughter.

Filling the empty saucepan, I tucked a hair strand behind my ear smiling thinking of how my parents' laughter was echoing in the winter air. My heart right now was a flashback of my childhood memories; the happiest one I had left with me. Putting the pan on the oven, I was about to light the fire when the song started playing on the radio from my neighbourhood. A song from his movie. A song by him. It was mild and slow being hummed in the air and my lips started getting stained with the lyrics.

The first thing my heart found in the tune - Manik wasn't mine anymore. The second thing my soul discovered...he never really was.

Even if loving him came with disclaimer, I might have turned blind. I met that man. That damn man with diamond black heart; the sharp edges of which tore me into pieces. He filled my heart with knowledge, passion, desire, intensity, helplessness, obsession and intoxication. Made me stress and regret. Made me hope and try. I met that man. That damn man who taught me how to smile and also to forget doing it. Made me fall and cry. Made me want someone who could never really be mine. Made me strong and then break. Because I met that man. That damn man who taught me the true meaning of a heartbreak.

"Be careful!" Navya swiftly rushed and turned the knob off as I realised the overflowing liquid was about to burn my hand.

Getting back to reality, I wiped my cheeks realising the song had stopped long before but the lyrics still were haunting my mind.

"I'm sorry. I just... I'll make fresh one." Scratching my forehead, I took another pan out of the rack.

"What are you doing, Nandini?" She asked in a low voice.

"I know nobody can drink this. I-I'll make another one." Lighting the oven, I breathed out.

Placing hand on my shoulder, she made me look at her. "What are you doing with your emotions, Nandini?"

Her question made me inhale deeply parting my lips. "I'm fine. Just fine."

Trying to hide my emotions, I started arranging utensils on the slab but she was steady enough to stare at me with sympathy.

Putting an utensil down with slight force, I sighed. "Don't do that, you know. Look at me with that sympathy. It makes me feel weaker."

"Manik really has a bad luck, you know." Smiling feebly, she rubbed the back of my shoulder.

"I guess he's not the only one." I murmured.

Navya kept staring behind me with disbelief. "...I guess, you are just right."

Looking over my shoulder, my eyes widened. My trembling lips parted but I chose to press them tightly and gaze back at Navya's reaction. Her eyes met mine and even though I shook my head asking her not to provoke me, she started chortling throwing her head behind which tempted me to give a half-suppressed laughter. Covering our mouths, we glanced at the door again and hysteria took over.

At the door, stood a very annoyed and muddy Barrister Randhir Shekhawat digging holes in our faces.

"What happened..to...you?" Coughing, I managed to ask.

"Didn't you just go to get us snacks? Who made a snack out of you?" Navya laughed and I slapped her arm.

"Is it necessary for women to find a man's misery laughable every time? Can't you become a little human?" He huffed resting hands on his waist.

Just as he was about to enter my kitchen, I shouted pointing a spatula. "No no no! Don't enter my kitchen being that dirty."

"Yea.." Navya continued her laughter. "Being the dirt that you are...."

Elbowing Navya, I warned him with that spatula again. "You are not entering."

"I could hug you two right now." Stretching his arms, he stepped inside rushing towards us which compelled Navya and I to scatter and dash.

Navya and I started screaming. "Don't even think."

He advanced close being fast as he was to wrap his hands around the two of us but ducking my head, I was lucky enough to slide underneath his arm which meant he ended up hugging a very abusive Navya who was punching his back by then.

"How dare you, piece of trash?" Navya screeched pushing him behind.

My eyes were stuck at the two of them but what Randhir did next dropped my jaw causing a loud scream out of Navya as she balled her fists in the air. He hugged her again.

"I mean, I haven't really thought about it but I might consider Papa's proposition and join him in shipping you two." I said patting the spatula on my chin.

"Save your brain for your job interviews." Randhir mocked struggling to hold my best friend locked in his arms. He forcefully brushed his cheek against her colouring her in dark brown. She lost it.

"I don't know what that shit means but if he doesn't leave me right now, Nandini then somebody is going to get hurt. Argh, leave me!" Pushing him hard, she breathed out flipping hair on her head.

Navya stared down at her dirty clothes and snapped her finger pointing it sharp at the lawyer. "You are going to pay for this."

"I know you want me to hold you for longer." Spreading his arms as he was again about to reach her, she ran away with a scream.

Randhir glanced at me shrugging his shoulders. "You missed out on all the fun."

"I think I'll survive this loss." With my hand between the two of us, I sprinted on my toe towards the oven and turn it off.

Grabbing the tissue box, he started cleaning up his face. "I swear, I could kill that moron right now. Do you even know in what kind of rubbish neighbourhood you reside? Those girls out there have no humanity absolutely, I'm telling you. Find a man, laugh at him." Bunching some more tissue papers in anger, he huffed with a red face.

"I don't blame those girls. But on a serious note, what happened to you? I mean, did they already find out that you are on the loose?" As I laughed, he glared. "But seriously, what happened?"

M A N I K

Resting my head on my car seat, I sipped on my black coffee sitting in the driver's seat. I had both hellfire and holy water mixed in my system for the way I was designed.

With a pen I was scribbling on the newspapers that had published various thoughts about me. Negative, only. Sometimes, life can feel like scrabble. You know you have got words in there somewhere but no matter how many times you rearrange the letters, you can't seem to make sense out of the jumble. The articles didn't bother me the slightest to be honest as you can see they were a mere scribbling toy in my hand but my mind was like a jumbled earphone wire. You try to untie one knot, you end up in a nastier one.

Sipping on my coffee, my eyes kept concentrating on the strokes of my pen and with a tap, I activated the bluetooth attached to my ear.

"But seriously, what happened?" The stroke of my pen paused for a moment as I heard the voice which I yearned as much as the heroin in my pocket.

"What do I say, Nandini? Let's say I bumped into a stupid guy on the street while walking out of the departmental store and that ended up me landing with my face straight in the mud. People have issues these days, I'm telling you."

My hand was back again drawing and eyes concentrated on my creation.

"You can't badmouth him so much. It was a genuine mistake. Human errors, you see?" She chuckled.

"Yea, how kind of you for asking me to not badmouth that asshole because of which I became a walking talking joke of the night!"

"What was the name of the poet who was mum's favourite?" I asked myself and closed my eyes trying to recall. Tsk-ing, as I failed to recall, I continued drawing the favourite face I was sketching.

"You become mean when you are mad." She told Randhir.

"Can't apologise for showing human traces, you see."

"Yeah that's why Navya and you are on the same boat. Remember?"

"Nandini, you! You deserve to get a hug from me."

"No-no no no! Oh my God! Stop!" The sound of utensils dropping here and there aided in faltering my attention on my piece of art. Tsk!

"Where would you run, daisy? First of all, give me that spatula. Ow!... You are so gone, woman!"

Taking another sip, I switched the window down letting the cool breeze touch my face letting my smile get colder.

"I will take your heart
I will take your soul out of your body
As though I were God
I will not be satisfied
With the touch of your hand
Nor the sweet of your lips alone
I will take your heart for mine
I will take your soul
I will be God when it comes to you."

"Langston Hughes." I smiled orating my mother's favourite poet's few lines.

Arching my seat a little back, I placed the thick pad of papers on my knee and continued what I was doing. My mother's eyes were coming almost perfect as if she was looking right at me. Her son.

"Oh my God! Stay black- oh shit! No no no! I can't believe you are actually hugging me, Randhir Shekhawat! Get away! Ew. You have got all the mud on me."

"Leave me, I said!"

My eyes stood dark and still at the paper. Stoned.

My jaw hardened the more she screamed in his arms tightening my grip around the pen. The urge to snatch her away from that filth's preying arms. The midnight air was few degrees short of freezing and I sniffed hearing her laughter echoing in the air as she was having a good laughter in another man's arms.

Pausing my art, I pulled the dashboard open and dipped my finger in a packet full of my favourite powder. The feeling gave me instant euphoria reducing the sick feeling in my stomach.

"Wasn't that delicious?" Randhir hummed and I pushed the dashboard close which let a pile of polaroid photographs fall on the passenger seat.

"You are sick!" She huffed. "See what you have done? You have got my pendant hooked to your button!"

"Oh come on, even your pendant wants this to last. Come here."

"Randhir, I'll murder you this time, I'm telling you."

Picking the pictures, I danced my eyebrows seeing them to be from one of my parties. Turning picture by picture, I couldn't help but smile when that serene face showed up. How innocent were those eyes in the photograph. The eyes which were now seeing another man. The man that wasn't me.

"Oh God, stay still and let me unhook this."

"Randhir, why are you moving like a five year old? Stay still, do you understand me?"

My thumb caressed the sides of her cheeks with no expression upon my face.

"Oh God, it's so tight. Open your shirt."

"Nandini, that sounds so wrong." He laughed and there were some more sound of utensils dropping.

"Stop moving, you! You are pulling me along too. Do as I say. Open your shirt."

"Nandini, there are your parents outside."

"Shut up before I aid Navya in plotting your murder. Open that damn shirt."

"Woo. Dominant. I like it." He murmured flirtatiously and my eyes were at that face in my hand.

"Heh. Funny. Now, do it."

"Woah. What are you doing, Nandini? No, you can't open my shirt. Your parents are outside. Have some control!" He shouted purposely.

"Are you crazy? Shut up. I'm only opening a button to detangle this mess."

Her lips felt like rose petals under my finger on this shiny paper.

"You can't take advantage of me like this."

"I know, I'll be damned for this, Mr.Lawyer."

"You tore my button? Aren't you being bit too rough?"

She chuckled. "Thank God, it's done. You didn't need that shirt anyway."

"Stop talking with double meanings. You are making me conscious."

"I wouldn't dare to. What I meant was, this damn shirt is of no use unless you wash it."

Glancing over at the house on the other side of my parked car, I read the nameplate again. Murthys. Fascinating.

I flipped the picture and it was the face I detested finding the most right then. Randhir Shekhawat.

With a smile, I raised the picture before my eyes as I arched my back on the seat.

"I must say you are very soft." He said and I held the picture bit too tightly deforming its perfect corners.

"What?" She asked quickly.

"Hearted. God, listen to the whole sentence, woman!"

"You and your twisted words, Randhir. Now, go freshen up. Ew you have made my situation likewise too. I too have to take a shower in this cold. I hate my life."

"Let's save water, say what?"

"Mamma! Mamma!"

"Shh-are you crazy? Why are you calling your mom, idiot?"

"Because she should know about your intentions regarding her precious daughter. Mamma!"

"Shh shh shh. I won't remove my hand unless you give up shouting. Stop fighting me, tigress. Ouch!"

The sound of something tearing came audible.

"What is that, Randhir?"

"Um-wait don't go closer. Let me see it."

"It could be a bomb!" She squeaked and I frowned.

"Go get yourself a mind, Nandini. Does a bomb look like this?"

"How would I know how a bomb looks like? Be-be careful, Randhir. Please."

"Damn."

"Wh-what is it? It fell from your pocket. What was it doing in your pocket?"

"I don't know what is this doing in my pocket but um...it-it seems like a..."

My eyeballs moved right and left swiftly.

"What is it?" She asked, clearly worried.

"A spy microphone chip."

"Damn it." I hit the steering wheel.

"What? Do you think someone was hearing us all along? Is it even active? Does it even work? Oh my God, who it could be?"

"Yes the spy informed me he was putting this in my pocket. Wait, I don't even know what is this for sure so stop being speculative. It could be-wait, I think this happened when the man collided with me."

"Who was he? Did you see his face?"

"Oh my God, stop! This could be a dead device too."

"Let's just not take risk. Thr-throw it away. Thr-"

And I heard nothing after that.

Wonderful.

Resting in my position, I shook my head crossing that idiot's face on the photograph.

"Uh I hate love stories." I shook my head rolling my eyes.

N A N D I N I

Cold sweat broke. Fidgeting my fingers, my whole body was shaking.

"Shall I close the windows? Are we being targeted?" I fretted.

"Are you hearing yourself?" Randhir snorted.

"I don't think you are getting the gravity of the situation." I frowned.

"And I think you are clearly overreacting." He sighed pulling me by my shoulders. "I won't let a single bad thing touch you when I'm around, okay? Even if I'm not around. Getting to you and hurting you aren't easy."

My eyes got locked with his for a moment until I chose to look away. "I know with you around, I'm...going to be okay."

He nodded slowly. "Nandini, I can't wipe all the bad things that have already happened to you but I tell you one thing honestly, even though you don't admit or say it out loud. When you are hurt, I'm hurt. Just as much."

Why couldn't I love this man?

"I wonder how you do it." A sad smile took over my pale lips. The calmness on his face faltered. "How do you act like it's not hurting you because I want you to teach me. Teach me the magic."

He smirked sadly keeping his palms on my shoulders. "I can't because you know why? We both have fallen for the two most impossible persons on earth."

My hand crawled up to his hand on my shoulder. "If I have to tell you the biggest regret of my life it would be prioritising a guy over a guy like you. A guy who didn't treat me right over a guy who treats me like a star."

His thumb brushed over my skin. "Why do you always have to blame yourself?"

The fun part between us was gone and there were these two broken-hearted individuals placing their wounds forward. "Because I'm fucked up mentally."

He inhaled a shaky breath. "Let's not have this conversation."

"No." I stopped his hand. "I want to. I want to know about your feelings. Feelings that leave you scarred and learn how different are they from mine."

Moisture in his eyes were glistening as he turned his face away. "It hurts. It does-it hurts badly and some days it feels like if there was some magic to forget you, I could use that but then I know I would lose my mind if I don't see your face around."

Tears rolled down my cheeks and I tugged upon his hand to make him look at me. "You ended up being just like me."

"God, we should really have not started on this topic." Hiding his face, he wiped the corner of his eye.

"I would be lying if I say I don't hate myself for doing this to my best friend." He shook his head hearing me and suddenly he was close. So damn close.

In the next flash of second, my face was held in between his palms and his eyes dangerously and nakedly hurt. That look was toxic and I couldn't look away even if I wanted to.

"I bloody know I don't have a fucking right on you but you don't get how hard it gets somedays." His eyes were red.

"I know-"

"You don't." His hand went to the back of my head. "Some days it just gets painfully bad. All along with silence I have seen you look at him the way you would never look at me. Slowly, each day, I have seen you falling for him while I was telling my heart not to fall for you any harder. Some days, I just bloody hate everything. Some days, when he hurts you, I try to be selfish and stay calm thinking the more he hurts you, you are getting one inch closer to me. And like a selfish, I silently wish that he looks away from you and never returns to your heart ever again but...but then I see you crying in a corner because of that man. I see you die quietly and I regret every single choice I made. Those are the days when I want to drag that bastard by his collar and push him right at your feet to beg for your forgiveness for hurting the heart that can never be mine. Nandini," he gulped. "I love you and because I love you...I can't be selfish with you."

Without a word, I closed my eyes letting his feelings drown me. It probably was the first time he directly told me that he loved me and the more I heard about his love, the more I wanted to know what could he see in a girl like me. The girl who could never be enough for the man she loved. Lowering my head, I sniffed trying to stay strong on my feet when he pressed his lips to my forehead.

"I hate the way loving you confuses me." He whispered on my forehead.

"You are holding me close. A heartbroken girl." I sobbed.

His lips formed a smile against my skin which felt moisture thereafter. "Broken crayons can still colour."

"It's just easier to find new crayons." I cried.

Was breaking someone's heart this hurtful? Then why didn't Manik feel something like this when he was all along breaking mine?

"If it were that easy, I'm sure you would have been stocked up with new ones." Quickly with a peck, he looked into my eyes.

"I love you. All right? But that's entirely my problem. I don't give you the permission to feel awful for the way I feel for you. My feelings are my copyrighted business." He smiled.

"I-"

"Shh" He pressed his finger on my lips. "I love you and I know you love me too. As your best friend so no matter what happens I won't let you break this friendship."

I nodded. "I wouldn't dare to. I cannot lose a friend like you. Ever."

Parting, he glided his thumb underneath his eye. "You make me feel like a joker, you know. Crying like a teenager with face full of mud."

I chuckled wiping my own tears.

"Idiot." He rolled his eyes messing the hair on my forehead.

Chuckling with tears as I glanced at the doorway, my eyes shot wider. Randhir's eyes followed mine and he distanced a bit.

"Mamma..." I stared blankly at my mother's sympathetic face. I knew she was feeling terribly bad.

"I didn't hear a word." She lifted her hands in defence.

"Of course, you didn't." Sarcastically speaking, Randhir went nearer and wrapped his arm around my mother's shoulder.

He became pretty close to my friends and family and I was happy about it. He used to call my parents the coolest and sometimes doubted if I were their adopted kid for the way they were way 'cooler' than I was.

"Come, I'll switch the guesser on for you, silly." Mamma smiled at him.

"Is that all you got to do to fix a young man's broken heart?" He joked keeping his hand wrapped around her. I smiled through tears.

Mamma looked behind at me over her shoulder. "I wish I knew a way or two."

Randhir puffed out air in boredom. "This whole family is filmy, God. Your daughter is evil by the way, you know?"

I heard their fading voices as they left the kitchen.

"Not a word against my daughter."

I breathed in.

Turning around, I rushed to the sink and splashed cold water over my face. Harshly and rapidly. Hearing Randhir speak of his feelings reminded me of the time I lost Manik for the first time and ever since. Could anybody ever stop me from getting this selfish? How more selfish could I get?

One year back, he was the reason I wanted to stay alive and happy just to see his face once in life and one year later, he's the reason who made me wish I was dead. And, I was angry at myself. All over again. It felt pathetic when I found myself sliding down the wall and crashing on the kitchen floor wishing I could have this one last conversation with him. I wish we didn't leave so many things unsaid. I wish he didn't change. I wish he didn't touch or look another woman that he surely did. I wish I didn't see the best version of me in his eyes. I wish I never met him.

M A N I K

Nobody knows me wholly when they claim to know every corner of a dark side. None can understand all the things that go in my head.

Shutting the car door behind, I stepped outside stretching my arms in this hooded disguise. If I were to meet someone like me, I would avoid them at all costs knowing how monstrous it can get with an angelic face. The horror.

Ahead of me stood my bodyguard holding a man within his muscles effortlessly. The night was unusually cold; the street hauntingly empty and my shoulders with devils on both sides.

The man seeing a hooded man approach him struggled all the more within the brutal hold of my bodyguard. Maybe, he knew the face which was hidden behind such hood.

"I got him here as you instructed, Sir." The bodyguard said.

"That..." Through my hood, tilting my head my smirk turned visible. "I can see."

"Let go of me. I did just as you said then there's absolutely no reason for your men to capture me." The man urged bit too aggressively for my ears.

Tilting my head, I glanced at the man's petrified condition from head to toe. "You know, it's not like I don't feel bad for you. I do. A lot."

"No you don't, scoundrel. You bloody feel nothing." He was miffed. Well.

Just as I started to walk closer, his breathing got erratic and struggles, fiercer.

"Let go of me. If you don't, I swear I'll-I'll let the entire world know what a monster you are, Manik Malhotra. Ask your dog to leave me." He raised his voice.

"Ahh! That hurts my ear." I rubbed my ear.

"You will pay for this. Everybody does for his sins, Manik Malhotra and you are no God. You bloody don't have any right to decide a man's fate. Do you know who you are? A coward. A spineless coward who hides behind his stardom." He spat.

"Well, that offends me." I spoke in a surprised tone and his face lost colours.

"I'm-I'm sorry. Please. Let me go. I-I sw-swear I won't say a word to anybody. Ju-just set me free this once. I beg your forgiveness." The man who was abhorring limitlessly was suddenly ready to drop at my feet that too without me touching him....yet.

"You had one job, muscleman." I shook my head in displeasure trying to make my tone as dramatic as possible.

"Pl-please I beg your mercy." He tried bending low to peek through my hood but my bodyguard pressed his spine way hard causing him to cry in pain.

"I-I did just as your men instructed. I pushed that man outside the grocery store and dropped the microphone chip in the pocket of his shirt. Why-why am I being punished?" He begged.

"Because all of your design failed. I mean, seriously? You put a chip in a man's shirt pocket? Who do you think he is, an idiot? He is a bloody lawyer and trust me when I say, the best one at his job. He is going to find you out and even though initially you'll be resisting him and all that but as the dramas would increase, you'd get scared and spit out all the truth. You are the gateway to me, practically." I narrated him parts of the story in a very very calm voice coupled with the smirk on my lips only which he could see.

"I-I.." he choked. "That won't happen, I promise. I'll leave the city and do whatever it takes to keep your name safe. Your secret is safe with me. Please ask your man to leave me."

"Hmm." I thought to myself weighing my options. If something was being done by terror then why stain your hands.

"Do you give me your word to go far far away and not return?" I asked stepping closer.

"Yes." He gulped.

"Do you give me your word that you'll choose to die rather than spill my secret?" As I finally stood near his face, he dropped on his knee.

"I do. I give you my word." I breathed out mildly.

"Very well then. Don't show me that face ever again." He agreed instantly and I decided to leave.

Before turning around, I glanced at my bodyguard and the next thing I heard while walking back to my car was the painful screams of the detained man.

Pushing the hood off my head, I stretched my neck left and right. I am Manik Malhotra, the man of words and I harmed him only after he gave me his words. Randhir being the wolf wasn't going to waste a minute from the next day trying to dig into this matter no matter how much he pretended before Murthy to take it casually and I couldn't let that happen.

Did that make me a psychopath that the painful screams of the man wasn't touching me one bit?

Just as I was about to pull open the door to my car, I felt someone clutching my sweatshirt from behind and within the next few seconds, the immediate thing I felt was my face sharply turning the other way. Someone punched me.

In the jerk, the hood covered my face and tilting my head, I glanced up to find a man of my father's age to be fuming in anger. What did I ever do to him? Was he this man's father who probably just died at my bodyguard's hand? Quickly glancing at the street, I found no traces of my bodyguard but the body of the prisoner lying motionless. Good.

"Which part of your head made you think punching me could be fun?" I asked, pacified.

"You!" He lifted his finger at me and my eyes sarcastically landed at that. "How could you bloody do it? You are not human. Monster. A bloody monster. Yes, that's what you are. I saw you and your brutality, you hear me? And, I won't let you get away with the heinous crime that you did."

Nodding my head, I crossed arms across my chest. "So what are you going to do? Put leash around my neck and drag me through hell?"

I chuckled.

"Don't you have a bloody shame? Do you think money and power can get you do anything? You bloody assaulted someone and you will get punished in the rightest way. I just need to see that face." His eyes were almost about to bulge out of sockets in anger.

I fought an urge to chuckle walking in circles around him. "I swear there's a reserved place for me in hell. Shucks. I-I feel terrible. I mean..." Laughter rolled out of my mouth and a thin spark of lightning flashed upon the sky followed by a thunder.

I laughed dashing a cigarette in the corner of my lips. "Let's get straight to the point. How much?"

"I pity that mother who raised you." The man blurted and my eyes shot up to him through my hood while I was lighting my cigarette.

"Hmm." I hummed puffing the smoke out at his face. "This is the part when you put up your little virtuous act and I begin multiplying my contribution. Okay, let's play along."

Pulling my wallet, I shoved it in his hold leaving the smoke. "Let's try to cut this act short, yeah? It's going to rain. Go home. Enjoy the money."

I was about to leave but this bloody insane clasped my shoulder. "Even if you don't show me that face, police will find you out. So use your money wisely because you have long battle to fight now."

Just like that, he hurled my wallet on the street and I clicked my tongue.

Patting his shoulder, I tried to leave but this cumsack grasping my collar tried swatting his hand across my face all over again until I held it and decided to not leave it until I had his bones broken. He winced a little but mercy was something I never practiced.

Twisting his hand, with my other free hand, I pulled the cigarette out. "Considering your age, I tried letting the first time go but you literally asked for it."

Just as I applied a bit more force, I heard a bone crack. Ah, music. I met evil when I was child and since that time I had this insatiable need for destruction.

"You saw my man hurting that man. Now, I'm making sure nobody is seeing the pain I'm inflicting upon you. Oh, this is my favourite part." I took pride in myself continuing to smoke.

"The mother who gave birth to a son like you deserves to see her son this way and take her own life. She should die out of shame." He wailed in gruesome pain.

But his words twinged my black heart.

"You shouldn't have said that." Rotating him, I caught his neck in the hook of my forearm and bicep.

The man let out a high pitched cry struggling to breathe while I kept applying more pressure to his wrinkled neck. Initially, he scuffled to remove the hood off my face but they went futile. He shouldn't have said about my mother dying. He really shouldn't have.

Just as the pitter patter of soft drizzle landed on my skin, I looked up at the sky at the numerous lightnings conquering the nature. My jaw hardened as my grip tightened ignoring how this man was punching my abs with his elbow. His eyes enlarged as his voice started choking with that shallow breathing.

It felt good under the rainfall being in so much of charge. I whispered out to the sky until I heard my phone buzz. With my other free hand, I received another boring caller I tried to avoid in this good mood.

"Dad, my superman!" I chirped.

"What the hell, Manik? Abhimanyu just now told me you have left the city and nobody knows where you have gone? How could you be this bloody careless? Don't you know how things are heated outside?" He spoke in a breath.

"I am fine." I sang but as this man started croaking, it broke my rhythm and I groaned in irritation.

"Wait, what's going on? What have you done this time, Manik?" Father sounded pissed.

"I...may or may not have snapped someone's neck right now." As the man gave out a hoarse fading cry again, I shushed him asking him to not disturb me when I was on phone.

"Let a man talk to his father, come on!" I cooed into his ear.

"Manik, I want you back in the city right now and leave whoever you are tormenting right now. You hear me? RIGHT NOW!" He shouted unusually loud.

"Jesus, my damn ear." I distanced the phone.

"Manik, you are high on drugs and you don't know what you are doing these days. You are not yourself, son. Half of the days you don't even remember your acts. One day, you are going to regret all of this. Just-just listen to your father and leave the damn man." He was panting over the phone.

"But it's fun." I pouted my lips.

"You don't know your stoned version, Manik. It's scarier than the scariest thing on earth. Let him go. You won't be able to survive so much of regret. He doesn't deserve your punishment. Please." He urged, all panicked.

N A N D I N I

"But where is Papa? How could you let him go outside sensing that the weather is going to get this bad?" I asked mother.

"Why are you asking me? Don't you know how disobedient your father is? I asked him a hundred times not to when he said he was going to bring his darling daughter her favourite chocolate as his return gift. He even agreed to not leave the house but when I went to give Randhir spare clothes and towel..he..he must have sneaked out then only. I'm worried, Nandini. He just got back home. He-he is so weak." She panicked holding my hands.

"I know..." My voice started choking hearing the intensity of the thunders.

"But he could have told me to get Nandini a chocolate when I left for the grocery store?" Randhir in my father's white kurta uttered rushing towards us pushing back his wet hair.

"Randhir, that man is impossible. Oh God, what do I do now?" Mamma sat down on the couch with a thud; her head in her hand.

"I.." I grabbed an umbrella quickly. "I'm going to look for him and don't worry Mamma, I'll get him back to you."

"I'll come with you." Randhir grabbed the spare umbrella for him. "If he has gone for a chocolate, he won't be gone too far. Who knows he might be stuck at the shop waiting for the rain to stop?"

I nodded praying Randhir to be right.

"I'll stay with aunty." Navya sat beside mamma rubbing her arm.

"Please just..take care of her, Navya." She nodded blinking her eyes. "I'll bring him safe, Mamma. Don't worry."

Mamma tearfully looked up at me and then Randhir. "I want the three of you to return safe. Take care of her, Randhir. The weather.... I wouldn't have..."

"Aunty, you just-calm. Calm. Nothing will happen." Navya consoled and blinked her eyes gesturing me to carry on.

As Randhir and I stepped outside, it bloody got difficult to hold the damn umbrella straight and splashes of rainstorm soaked us in no time.

"Just stick nearby. We'll find him." Randhir raised his voice for me to hear and as my eyes found his, he blinked with assurance.

M A N I K

"He said my mother should die." I strengthened my grip, shouting. "He bloody wished on my mother's death." My teeth gritted.

"Your mother is already dead, Manik. You are having delusions, my son. These are the side effects of your excessive drug intakes. Just-just come back-come back home, son." Father's voice trailed off in trepidation.

"Home...." Soon as I loosened the man's neck, he dropped on the street.

Cross-stepping his unconscious body, I looked up at the sky and fierce rain drops compelled me to shut my eyes.

"Where is home?" Flashes of my childhood house, flashes of my mother's loving arms, flashes of Chetna's almond eyes, flashes of Grey Petals, flashes of Murthy's comforting hugs and flashes of my mother's graveyard popped every time I blinked.

My body was starting to feel this huge voidness; the consuming emptiness; whispering nothingness. Although my father was speaking things, I disconnected the call looking behind at the man who with his slightly parted eyes extended his hand for help fighting to breath but instead just saw me silently walk away and get into my car. That man reminded me of another virtuous lady I had in my life but at the moment, she was with another man.

I forgot to start the heater; not caring if I was freezing. Revving the engine, I just drove to wherever I could. My fixed eyes at the road seeing no passing vehicle in particular caused other vehicles to stop in their tracks for I was driving in a zigzag lane like that of a child's drawing.

What was this moment, I wondered. And just like that my chest was heavy as if I had just experienced a great emotional pain. There was no particular reason. I had this weird urge to take in a deep breath and I had this weird urge to, I don't know, just scream.

Honking cars rash drove past my reckless driving. The world could never hear the deaf voices in my head. All speaking at once and for a good moment, I had my eyes closed not caring if I was driving at the speed of 120.

Running hand through my face as it fell over my thigh, I sensed something hard. Lowering my eyes to figure it out, my lips parted as I badly dodged a huge truck driving my way with its deadly headlights. I realised that I was driving on the wrong side of the road but when my eyes fell on that little device in my grip, I frowned.

An inhaler?

Halting my car, my eyes wandered off the end of the street recalling how this ended up in my custody and then the dots started joining. The man with a choked breathing system lying on the wet road; extending his hand asking me for something.

Damn it.

Rolling my eyes and hitting the steering wheel hard, I wondered what to do with that damn thing. It could save someone's life. Come on, it's not like someone didn't reach him yet or found him lying on the street, half-dead. Or, that he didn't expire. But what if he was alive? What if this device staying in my possession was going to land me up in problems? What if. What if. What if. Argh.

Hitting the wheel again, I ruffled my wet hair quickly reversing my car without giving the car behind an indication. As a result, it bumped but I didn't care to stop and hear about his loss. Driving at an insane speed, I tried putting pressure on my head to remember where the damn road was because this new city was nothing like Mumbai.

Like I expected, when I drove till somewhat nearer and sat behind my tinted glass, I could see a red and blue flashing light of an ambulance waiting at the corner and a girl on the street holding that old man's head in her lap.

Tapping the inhaler in my pocket, I planned on tossing it out but seeing a group of cops inspecting the other unconscious body at few meters away deterred me.

Pushing my head this and that side, I tried seeing that girl's face who I assumed to be that man's family member but the pouring rain stuck her wet hair all over her miserable face. There was a guy in a white kurta holding her shoulders and she leaned towards his chest, howling.

The medical team picked the man up in a stretcher and to be honest, the siren of such ambulance and the scene together compelled me to go back to the memory when the the burnt body of my mother was taken away. My heart trembled.

"I should leave the scene." I told myself pushing the gear but stopped when I saw the girl poorly running towards the stretcher asking them to not take whoever he was away.

I shouldn't have overdosed myself that much, I thought. The boy tried separating her from the body on the stretcher which had an oxygen mask immediately attached. The boy tried holding her body close and straight but she was too much breaking and fighting to be out of his grip. The ambulance started off to its destination and shaking head at my stupidity, I fixed my rear view mirror pushing the gear.

When suddenly, my world stopped spinning. And, everything started happening in slow motion. My body felt to be slashed in bazillion pieces and the high of the drug was slapped out of my system as my existence turned into a real horror.

Through the rear view mirror, I could see who that girl was as she was crying resting her head on that boy's chest. And, I can bloody admit I, who gets leniency for each of my sins was scared for the first time in life.

My brain stuttered and I worried if it would switch off. Every part of my body paused as my sane mind rolled and crashed ten feet apart when I made myself belief that my eyes weren't playing tricks again.

Nandini Murthy.

"God damn it."

— — —

[A/N]

Breathe, at first.

I bow down before you all apologising for delaying this update. I had a few things on my plate - one of them being writer's block. Thanks to everyone for being so patient and checking up on me periodically. I love you guys.

I want to wish you all a very very very Happy New Year and buckets full of laughter. I couldn't have made this far without you people.

P.S - I saw one amazing trailer of Besabriyaan made by one of you on twitter and damn, you guys are so talented. I couldn't know the name of the maker so if you want that to be associated with  the book Besabriyaan, please do contact. You are incredibly talented.

P.S.S - My heart literally beats so fast learning about the love you people shower upon Besabriyaan on twitter. You slay!

Okay, I'll stop with this psssssss's now.

Kisses to all.
Until next time.

Rai.