Author: SoupsDWord

Title: 8/10

It's a sweet title, 'Sparks', as it denotes many things. It has the connotation of electric love, fusion, friendship etc., perfect for your short story.

Cover: 7/10

The cover is a romantic one to say the least, but not that romantic as your book promises. Keep it, by all means, but maybe think of something surreal? 

Synopsis: 7.5/10

Simple and straightforward, this synopsis tells you everything without throwing too much at you at the same time. It may or may not catch your attention, but it's up to you what to improve on.

Characters: 8/10

This is easy since there are only two characters: Kaleb (whose name I dislike-sorry!), and Mira (which, on the other hand, is a nice choice). The first comes across as a bit critical, egotistic and cheeky. The latter, however, is feisty, strong-minded and seemingly a deep thinker. I have to say that I like Mira a lot, whereas Kaleb, a little less. You introduce them both very well, though. I can't wait to see what else they might be hiding! 

Grammar: 7.5

There were very few mistakes in this story. Apart from a few hiccups on punctuation and I believe, spelling, the way you wrote this story stands out in its own way. I love books that are different compared to others, so well done. Perhaps proof-read your work just once, and I'm sure you have the capability of spotting some minor mistakes.

Pacing: 8/10

Goodness me, you haven't got less than 7 so far! That's brilliant-7, as a score, is 'good', therefore you're bound to receive a great score on your story. Anyway, regarding the book's pacing, you introduced everything so well that I was almost immediately absorbed into your story. You say it's your first try at romance: if it is, then you have many opportunities in the near future. Keep on writing romance is what I'd encourage you to do. 

Plot: 6.5/10

Don't be discouraged by the score as it won't influence the final one that much. I gave your plot 6.5 because, as you said yourself, it is a little cliché. Lots of people like to try and write about two people falling in love, and many might even scoff and call it 'easy', when it's not. Of course, you could simply narrate the typical 'love story' in which a pretty female drops her phone onto the floor and has it picked up by some handsome male, who then starts trying it on with her blablabla (how boring!). You wanted to think outside the box and that's what you did. However, a twist would really spice up the story (if there isn't going to be one). 

Dialogue: 7.5/10

There wasn't too much, nor was there too little. The descriptions entwine with the dialogues perfectly, giving the reader the right amount of time to take in what is happening and deal with each character's thoughts. The words you use match the characters wonderfully. Well done!

Voice: 7.5/10

I nearly gave the voice an 8, but I think there is room for some improvement even though you still pulled it off really well. Mira introduces the realistic situation of waiting in an airport like a homey person would welcome their friends to their home. I didn't like how you suddenly switched the narrator to Kaleb so quickly. I would advise you to do that in another chapter, or, make it more obvious that Mira is no longer going to be talking (for some time).

Overall impressions: 7.5/10

'Sparks' is romantic as its genre promises. There is a lot of electricity in the first two chapters which means there is a whole lot more to see. I will be looking forward to reading some more in future.

Total score /100: 75 (very good). 

 Keep it up!

 -Aolani Kaikoa