Draco was a jumble of nerves and jitters as he neared the Great Hall on Saturday morning with his friends.

"Drake? You alright?" came Pansy's voice.

"M'fine," he managed to say.

He went in the front door and immediately started scanning the Gryffindor table. Harry's usual spot wasn't occupied yet, so he sat down at his Slytherin's table, buttering a piece of toast. He kept his eyes on the door.

"Mate? You sure you're alright? You've already smeared three layers of butter on your bread," Blaise said worriedly.

"Hm? Oh, I, I'm fine," he said distractedly and bit into his all too buttery toast. It tasted disgusting.

But just as he swallowed the revolting oily and fatty bite of toast, Potter, Granger, and Weasley entered the Great Hall.

He sprang up abruptly, almost knocking Pansy off the bench, and rushed to the spot where Potter's sitting down.

He paused a second to catch his breath and tapped on his shoulder. He spun around.

"Er, hi, Potter? Can I see you outside for a minute?"

Draco was starting to squirm uncomfortably under every single pair of eyes in the Great Hall on them.

Potter looked mildly unsure. Granger was watching them silently. To Draco's surprise, Weasley didn't jump up and punch him in the face or threaten him, telling him to shove off. He merely watched the two intently alongside his girlfriend.

Potter shifted in his seat. "Erm, sure... why not?"

Draco nodded stiffly and guided him outside the door, fully aware that the Great Hall was completely silent and everyone was staring at them.

They stood outside the corridor, far enough from the Great Hall for anyone to eavesdrop, not that far to make it seem like Draco was murdering Potter.

Potter chewed on his lip. "So."

Draco fought the urge to bite his nails. "So... um, I... I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

Potter raised an eyebrow.

"For yelling at you. Last Sunday. I was just in a bad mood and lashed it out on you. I'm sorry."

He shifted his weight between his feet, looking hopefully at Potter's face.

"It's... okay," he said eventually.

Draco sighed in relief. "Thank you for understanding. And also thank you for healing my forehead... I- you should know, I didn't mean anything I said."

Potter nodded, a faint blush appearing on his face from the chilly breeze. He looked cute.

"Thank you for apologizing, Malfoy," he said quietly.

"It's what I should do." Draco paused. "Did... did someone pass along the word to you yesterday? I told someone to say sorry in advance and then I'll do it properly today."

Potter bit his lip. "Yes, someone did tell me."

Draco's face lit up with hope. "Can you tell me who told you?"

His eyes twinkled for a split-second but went back to normal as quickly as the sparkle appeared. "I- sorry, I can't. He told me not to tell."

Draco's face fell a bit. "Oh. Well, that's fine." It's not like he didn't expect that.

Potter smiled. He was charming. "Shall we get back to the Hall?"

Before he could stop his Potter-smile-rotten brain, he responded. "Okey-dokey."

Draco ignored the muffled whispers and pointing as he settled back to the Slytherin table.

"Dude! What was that?!"

He didn't respond to Blaise's inquires and the curious glances of his friends. He could only think about one thing.

...OKEY-DOKEY?!?!

---

Draco stared at his essay. Explain the difference between non-verbal and wandless charms, and elaborate on their advantages and disadvantages.

That was by far the longest essay topic Flitwick had ever given them. Draco rolled up his first piece of parchment, working on his second piece, his mind occasionally drifting off to other tidbits of events.

Non-verbal magic may cause a startle. It is both an advantage and disadvantage, depending on the opponent... Potter did seem eager to tell him the person for a split second. It, however, still requires a wand, if hit by a disarming spell... He seemed pretty pained when he realized he couldn't tell him the person. Whereas wandless magic can simply be conjured with proper eye contact or concentration... Holy Merlin's bra.

Draco jumped in his seat. Was it... was it Weasley?!

Gryffindor eighth year male. Probably loves Defense and McGonagall. Clumsy, no doubt. The Tales of Beedle the Bard, he's a bloody pure-blood, of bloody course he would've heard of it. Dead godfather? Maybe? The owl they had was so old and battered he wouldn't be surprised if that was dead, too. Probably wants to be a Healer?

Close friend of Potter. Comforting him. Potter at Aphrodite's... probably buying the stuff for Weasley... Weasley seeming to know about the conversation about to happen in the Great Hall... Oh, Lord.

Weasley?!?!

Never in a frickin' million years.

A chill ran down his spine. He really liked this bloke. But... Weasley?! He has a girlfriend, for Merlin's sake! Wait! He has a girlfriend... or is he just afraid to come out?

Weasley. Never in any of the scenarios Draco had played in his mind did it turn out to be Weasley.

...Gah.

He stared at the thirty-seven ribbons tucked neatly on his bedstand, suddenly feeling very, very sick.

He darted out the door, not even stopping to disillusion himself, and set out for the owlery.

"Harrison! I need you!" he yelled as he swung the door open with a bang. Harrison dutifully flew out and Draco slammed the door, not wanting to deal with Acacia right now.

Draco cast a Disillusionment Charm on himself as he raced back to the dungeons with Harrison flying closely behind. He tumbled down four flights of stairs and fumbled for quill and parchment.

Gryffindork, I need you to answer me in complete honesty: Are you, or are you not Weasley? -D

Draco laid as a heap on his bed. He was anxious for Harrison's return. Would he answer him? If he did, he wasn't entirely sure he wanted to look at the reply.

Minutes ticked by and Draco gulped, balling his bedsheets in his fists.

He spotted a white furball approaching. Scrambling to his feet, he rushed to slide open the window and waited impatiently for Harrison to approach.

Harrison didn't seem please at his franticness but didn't make a fuss since there were still some salmon treats left from the bowl.

Draco fumbled with the ribbon and untied it.

Dear Draco,

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA Oh Merlin, you have no idea how hard I'm laughing right now. There are TEARS. Please always be this funny and flustered.

NO, I am absolutely not Weasley. You do know he has a girlfriend, right?

Why in the world will you think I'm Weasley? I'm sorry if my handwriting's sloppy, my hand won't stop shaking because I'm still laughing. Really hard. I don't even care all of my dormmates are in the room looking at me like I'm a lunatic right now.

I was actually just about to head to the owlery and fetch Harrison for a chat. I promised I'll owl. Since you already made my night so interesting and eventful, up for some Sunday night owling?

Still laughing hysterically,
Your Secret Admirer

Dear Anonymous Gryffindork,

SHUT UP, I HAVE MY REASONS.

But thank God. You have no idea how relieved I am. I mean, any guy from eighth year Gryffindor house is a possibility, but I never imagined Weasley. Frankly, I have no idea what I would do if you really were him. I think I'd be the one to wet my pants.

But he does fit most of the descriptions, no? I don't know him that well, so some of them I'm not sure. But hey, now I've ruled out two guys- Weasley and Longbottom. Also, he might've just gotten a girlfriend to hide his sexuality, you know. Those scenarios exist.

Fine. I was preparing to chat tonight anyway. Maybe not this early, but my Charms essay isn't due until Wednesday, so... why not.

Question: Did you choke on anything while you were laughing just now? I really hope you did.

You really should stop laughing
or I'll send you cursed parchment,
Draco

Dear Draco,

Calm down. Let me enjoy this for a little moment.

*moment*

Alright. Whilst you don't sound so enthusiastic about us chatting, I'll let it slide since you really made my day. Just out of curiosity, how did you get your hands on cursed parchment? They're pretty advanced and Dark magic, you know.

And no, unfortunately, I wasn't eating or drinking at the moment and I managed not to choke on my own spit. Sorry ;).

Seriously, I've stopped,
Your Secret Admirer

Dear Anonymous Gryffindork,

You're a dork. Just a dork. Thinking you're so witty and hilarious, writing *moment* like that.

And I didn't mean an actual cursed parchment, you idiot. Here, just a little example of what I might've done.

Too bad you didn't choke. I was hoping I would at least get some delightful anapneo stories for a change.

Thoughts on my brilliant cursed parchment?

:D,
Draco

Dear Draco,

FOR MERLIN'S SAKE, DRACO! You can't just go sending stink palettes in letters! What the hell?!

Thanks to you, now our whole dormitory smells like farts. It's like twenty lactose-intolerant old men that just swallowed five pounds of cheese came wandering into our dorm when ALL THE WINDOWS WERE CLOSED.

We didn't even have time to Bubble-head ourselves. The other Gryffindors locked us in because they don't want the fart smell to travel up to their dorms.

Even though we banished the smells my BEDSHEET still smells like arses!

CURSE YOU, DRACO MALFOY.

THOUGHTS?! YOU'LL KNOW MY THOUGHTS!

Fuming,
Your Secret Admirer

Dear Anonymous Gryffindork,

Merlin's curly goatee, you dork! You're so going to pay for that damned Weasley toy you sent to squirt magic crap in my face.

Suck on my letter,
Draco

DRACO,

TRUCE! ALRIGHT?! TRUCE!

YOUR SECRET ADMIRER

Dear Anonymous Gryffindork,

Hm, I thought so. You play dirty, I play dirty. My dormmates also got quite the Weasley toy collection, dumb-arse. How did you enjoy being a hot pink canary? Should canary be your new nickname now?

You're right, laughing does feel awesome,
Draco

Dear Draco,

NOT FUNNY, EVEN IF MY DORMMATES ARE STILL LAUGHING THEIR HEADS OFF AT THE MOMENT. And to charm it to make it shoot directly into my throat?! VERY MATURE.

And if you call me canary, you're ferret from now on. Need me to remind everyone in our year about that incident?

Your Furious Secret Admirer

Dear Anonymous Gryffindork,

...Fine. I will not call you canary. Kindly do not bring up the ferret incident ever again.

Also, you should've closed your mouth a bit tighter, dumb-arse. I didn't even charm it that hard. If it managed to shoot down your throat, you really are a clumsy idiot. And please, none of this was mature in the first place. What were you expecting?

Question time: Favorite Weasley product?

The Charming Draco Malfoy

Dear Draco,

Ugh. You're insufferable, you know that?

Favorite Weasley product? Definitely the Portable Swamp. It was awesome. The look on the old toad's face was absolutely priceless.

Just out of curiosity, what did it feel like, being transfigured into a ferret? I swear I'm not mocking, I'm genuinely curious. And I'm only laughing a little bit.

Love,
Your Secret Admirer

Dear Anonymous Gryffindork,

Yup, insufferable. That's me ;).

Oh yeah, the swamp. I have to admit, I did think it was some very advanced and complicated charm work. I was fairly impressed.

Fine. Given that you're half-polite about the question, I'll answer you. It hurts a lot when you're transforming. After you transform, it doesn't hurt anymore, you just feel all... ferrety. And furry. It's not at all pleasant, you know.

Since we're on the topic of curiosity... did you have a crush on anyone before me?

Draco

Dear Draco,

If I'm completely honest, no. You're my first ever crush.

I didn't know that hurt, I'm sorry. But it still looks at least a little funny watching from the sidelines, mark my words.

Love,
Your Secret Admirer

Dear Anonymous Gryffindork,

I'm flattered, really. Thank you for seeing the good in me.

And of course it looked funny, idiot. I was turned into a ferret.

I'm a bit tired, call it a night? Did you have trouble sleeping last night?

Draco

Dear Draco,

You're very welcome.

Of course, call it a night. I had a pretty decent-quality sleep last night, thanks to you. I think I'll turn in too. Sweet dreams, Draco.

Love,
Your Secret Admirer