April 14th

I think I hit my head or something.

I'm in school, and I'm early! I got here before the teacher!

And I'm not just a couple minutes early, I'm like a whole hour early, literally the only person I've seen is the janitor.

It's kinda boring, maybe I should just leave.

Ehhhh, ooh I'll just draw on the whiteboard, vandalism is fun!

I pick up the whiteboard marker and start drawing a weirdly detailed sketch of Tony in his iron man suit, don't even ask me why because I don't know.

I manage to finish it which I'm very proud of because I even have like 5 mins to spare.

I go to sit at my desk and just muck about on ma phone.

I look up as someone walks in and I see it's the teacher, woopsie.

He looks at the board with wide eyes then back at me and we make eye contact for like wayyyy to long.

"I got bored" I say with a shrug.

"You did that?" He asks in shock.

"Don't worry it wasn't permanent marker" I say.

"That's awesome dude" he says with a slight smile looking at it.

"Thanks...?" I say unsurely, genuinely thought he was gonna be mad.

"I haven't seen you in school a lot lately, everything okay?" He asks as he sits over at his desk.

"Oh yeah I'm fine, my foster dad was just like you probably shouldn't go to school with your injuries and I was like I wholeheartedly agree" I reply with a slight laugh.

"Injuries?" He asks with a raised brow.

"Oh you know that bank that got robbed like a week ago?" I ask and he looks confused.

"Yes..." he says with a slow nod.

"Well I was there and I kinda got shot a couple times" I say say and his eyes widen comically.

"You what? Are you okay? Are you sure you should be in school so soon?" He questions worriedly.

"Oh yeah I'm all good, hardly hurts anymore and it's weirdly not the first time I've had bullets in me" I reply reassuringly... at least it was intended to be reassuring but instead he looks more worried.

"That doesn't make things sound any better kid" he says looking at me in shock.

"Yeah I realised that when I said it" I say sheepishly just as the bell went.

Soon enough students started to flood into the room.

"Yo that's so cool!" One of them says, seeing my fucking amazing artwork.

"I love Iron-Man" another says.

"Sir I didn't know you could draw!" Someone says and Mr. Teacher, laughs and shakes his head.

"No, it was Mr. Parker's artwork" he said gesturing to me, what an asshole.

"Low-key thought you died, you were on the news" one of the students say.

"I was? Did they get my best angle?" I ask joking with a smirk.

"Totally dude, those security cameras weirdly did you justice" he replies.

"Thank the gods" I say.

"Is Iron-Man you're favourite avenger?" A girl asks.

"Ehhh nah" I shrug.

"Oh, why'd you draw him then?" She asks.

"Dunno, just came into my head" I reply.

"Hey so did you actually get shot in that bank?" The dude from before asks.

"Yep."

"You're like trending on TikTok, the audio recordings were leaked" the girl says and I raise a brow.

"You're like hilarious man!" A dude says.

"I know" I reply and he laughs, "see like I said!" He says, my god someone save me from this.

"So do you have Tik Tok?" The girl asks me.

"No, um what are your guy's names?" I ask them, wow perfect grammar and I right?

"I'm Brooke, with an e at the end" the girl says, why would I care about the spelling of her name.

"Tyler man" the dude who called me funny say.

"That was my old dealers name" I said with an amused snort.

"Oh my god you do drugs? That's kinda hot" Brooke says, batting her eyelashes at me.

"Umm, drugs don't make people hot, unless you're a necrophiliac and think cold dead corpses who have died from overdoses are hot" I reply and she looks at me in confusion.

"We'll um okay, I'm Ellie" the other girl said, looking slightly disturbed, she had long brown hair and thin black rectangular glasses.

"You kinda look like that girl from modern family" I say and Brooke just bursts out laughing.

"It wasn't that funny..." I say confusedly.

"She's pretty weird, she throws herself at nearly every guy in our school, she's also my cousin who I'm forced to live with" Ellie says and I look at her sympathetically.

"I'm sorry, I'll pray for you" I say to her and she laughs.

"Thanks" she says amusedly and Brooke glares at her.

"So do you like have a girlfriend?" Brooke asks me, putting a strand of hair behind her ear as she bit her lip.

"No, but I have a boyfriend" I reply with an amused smirk and she looks shocked whilst her cousin just looks as though she's trying not to laugh.

"I dunno why you're so shocked, I'm literally wearing eye liner and a David Bowie T-shirt, well actually it said it was eye definer but still" I say.

"I thought you were just like in a band or something" she replies.

"I wish I was in a band, wait why aren't I in a band?" I ask myself.

"But like you don't seem gay" she said, what the fuck does a guy have to do to seem gay, what does that even mean anyway?

"Not every gay guy is super feminine, that's just a stereotype and we're totally ignoring the fact that I was a fem-boy for like a week but that was a very dark time in my life we don't talk about that" I reply, going a lil bit off topic but oh well do you gays expect from me huh?

"So like what school does your boyfriend go to?" She asks, straightening her hair and chewing on her gum loudly.

"This school, he just isn't in our homeroom, we'll he might be but he never actually goes to homeroom so who knows" I reply with a shrug.

"Oh my god is it Jake? I heard that he was gay" she said with a weird sounding laugh.

"No, but good for this Jake fella" I say, "hey I'm just gonna sit over there, yeah you stay here and talk to Tyler here" I add with a smile and just walk away, sitting as far away from her as possible.

It wasn't too long that homeroom was thankfully over so I make my way to my Physics class which is always a hoot. I actually don't know to be honest I've only been once.

"Oh my god he's alive" a random lad says as I walk in.

"I'd be slightly concerned if he wasn't" the teacher jokes, not knowing why everyone is looking so surprised.

"Did you actually get shot?" Another dude asks, seriously I need to know these peoples names this is getting annoying.

"No, I actually staged that whole thing, I rented out the whole bank and paid random people to pretend to rob said bank and shoot me just to get out of Gym" I reply, sarcasm dripping heavily from every word.

"Dam so it was real? Some people think it was staged n shit" the dude I called a lad said.

"Nah it was real, got that super annoying pain in my whole body every time I walk as a reminder of that" I complain slightly, taking a seat.

"How much did it hurt?" A third dude asks.

"I dunno, kinda" I shrug.

"Did you get to keep the bullets?" Another dude asks, there's a lotta dudes in this class compared to girls, there's only 2 girls who seem uninterested.

"Yeah I collect bullets whenever I get shot" I reply with a shrug, I'm actually gonna make a necklace with em all then give it to Harley to give him a heart attack when he finds out they represent how many times I've been shot in the last few years.

"You say that as though it's a normal occurrence..." the dude says.

"If you think about it, how many times does something have to happen for it to be considered a normal occurrence?" I ask them.

"Well how many times would you say you've been shot?" He asks in response.

"Dam that's a tough question, do bullet grazes count?" I ask, "sure" he shrugs.

"Okay then a lot, I don't know the exact number, just a lot" I say, nodding to myself, "I shot myself once too, I missed the hospital jello" I add.

"Dude what the fuck" yet ANOTHER dude says.

"I uh, at first I thought you boys were talking about some kind of game but now I'm not too sure..." the teacher says, looking at us in confusion.

"Oh my god sir, you have to see the video, they censor the blood which sucks but you can still see it kind of" a dude says, whipping out his phone and showing it to the fucking teacher, like what?

Well this is gonna be a long day.

***

Imagine having PE and your PE teacher still makes you do it even though you're still healing from literally being shot a few days ago.

Well I don't have to fucking imagine it because that's exactly what's happening right now and this PE teacher is giving me major pedo vibes like ew why does he have to look at the girls like that it creeps me out.

"Ugh I fucking hate this dude, he's such a pedo" a random girl says to me, sitting next to me on the bench.

"I was just thinking that, hey do you know his full name?" I ask, suddenly getting an idea.

"Uh Patrick Crosby" she replies, "why?" She asks, "I'm gonna see if he has any priors" I reply with a smirk as I pull out my laptop from my bag.

"How are you gonna do that?" She asks with a raised brow.

"Skill" I reply with a shrug as I start typing, me being my genius super smart self I hack into the NYPD network and look up his name. I quickly look up his name and narrow it down to guys in their 40s and who live in Queens.

I find his file and click on it, seeing that it's him.

"He's a literal registered sex offender" I say with wide eyes, showing the girl the screen, "holy shit, how did he even get employed?" She asks in shock.

"I don't even know, but I'm definitely getting him fired" I say, and copy the link, I then email it to the headmaster and threaten to tell the school board, I of course keep the email anonymous.

"If he's not gone by tomorrow then the principal is an asshole" I say and she looks slightly impressed.

"How did you do that anyway?" She asks, "just simple coding" I shrug.

"Hey you two! Pack up the cones!" Pedo Man Patrick yells out at us.

"I'm a fucking cripple at the moment, why don't you do it yourself you fucking oversized garden gnome!" I shout back at him and the fury in his eyes makes me want to burst out laughing.

He then began storming over to us from the other side of the hall.

"Shit I'm outta here, I'm not in the mood to punch a teacher again" I say, standing up, putting my laptop back in my bag and baking a beeline for the door, the girl following quickly after me, not wanting to experience Pedo Man Patrick's wrath.

"Again?!" She shouts after me.

———

Lol I forgot this existed

Anygays here ya go, a chapter that's probably rly shit but oh will it eez what it eez ya fuckers

Holy shit the words r moving my my screen this is trippy lol

Peter's Shrug Count: ur mum

Word Count: 2000

- mayaaa ✌🏼