After the odd encounter in the woods Frank had never expected to see Gerard ever again. But he had been wrong to think that. He had seen him in the hallway of their school.

Gerard had walked up to Frank and they exchanged numbers. Frank wasn't sure if he should text him first, maybe that's what the slightly older boy was expecting? It had already been a week since they exchanged numbers. Frank hadn't seen him since then either, not that that was out of the ordinary seeing as he had only 'known' Gerard for a little over a week.

That evening Frank did however receive a text. 

Frank glanced at his phone lying on the other side of his bed realising the buzz he heard was because he had received a tex. He made an immense effort to stretch in order to grab the phone from his bedside table. He really wasn't in the mood for moving. 

He looked down at his phone to see he had a message from Gerard- Holy shit Gerard had actually texted him. This older boy that was way out of his league was making attempts to talk to him. Frank swiped the notification and quickly typed in his password. The seconds passing almost painfully as his phone took ages to open, and then unlock and open 'messages'. 

His heart was beating a little faster than usual but that wasn't because he had any feelings towards the boy, of course, it was because Frank was anxious. He had always been like this, often on edge because of the smallest thing. For example, when receiving a text his heart picked up a quicker pace. 

Gerard: 'Meet me at our spot at 5'

Franks heart began to race even faster. He even felt a bit light headed. He doubted he would manage to deal with this without having a panic attack,

His head began to spin. He felt stupid. Well, it was stupid to get so worked up over a fucking text message but he couldn't help it. He barely knew the guy and it was freaking him out. Questions began to race through his head at literally a gazillion miles a second.

Frank had already felt anxious all day. On the verge of a panic attack every second. And right now Frank felt as if he was hanging off a cliff, his hands clinging to the ledge as he waited for his upper body to give up.

Frank felt pathetic for reacting this way, it made him feel so weak and inferior compared to others. 

He finally managed to recollect himself and give Gerard a short confirmation of,"See you there". 

He glanced at the clock. 4:30. Fuck. He looked himself up and down in the mirror. Disgusted by what he saw. Red cheeks, pudgy face, wrinkled trousers, unrecognisable stains on his shirt, black hair that hung over half his face when he didn't bother to style it and of course his bare arms. Frank sighed. Searching for another shirt to wear. 

His eyes scanned the floor knowing he hadn't put anything away in his wardrobe. He grabbed a black misfits shirt that looked okay and decided that this was the best he could do. He grabbed his phone and slid it into his back pocket. Immediately hurrying out of his front door.

- 

Frank was almost by the clearing now. He was nervously fiddling with his shirt and his hands were shaking slightly. He wasn't planning on seeing anyone today- or for the rest of the weekend, but he didn't want to turn Gerard down. 

And if Frank was completely honest it seemed like more of a command than a question for him to come meet him. Frank was anxious for why Gerard had even wanted to see him again. He wasn't exactly interesting and their encounter the other day was nothing special. Gerard seemed like such an interesting guy and Frank was definitely the opposite to that, well at least in Franks opinion.

Frank was coming up to the clearing, he could already see Gerard's jet black hair from where he was stood. Frank hesitantly walked up to him. Gerard was sat on his jacket sketching something Frank couldn't see. When Gerard heard the leaves crunching under Franks feet he looked up and smiled at the smaller boy.

"Hey," Frank said, probably quieter than it should have been. 

"Hey, oh uh you wanna sit down?" 

Gerard noted how awkwardly Frank was standing there almost like he had no idea what to do with his own body. Gerard moved to the side so half his jacket was free for Frank to sit on. 

"Thanks." 

Frank awkwardly plopped his body next to Gerard's. They were sitting so close they could feel the others body heat radiating off. Sitting maybe a bit too close for someone he had only known for a week. Frank moved his gaze to the sketchbook lying across the other boys legs.

"So what are you drawing?" Gerard shifted awkwardly. "It's nothing really, amateur sketches." He closed the sketchbook and laughed nervously at his own reply. 

"You should let me see some of your supposed amateur sketches some day," he paused, "I mean if you're comfortable with that. If not like I totally underst-" 

Gerard interrupted "Yeah maybe someday..," he trailed off nervously looking around the forest. 

"So why did you wanna meet me here?" Frank wondered. 

It really was a mystery to him. It's not like they really knew each other at all. Gerard turned his face to look at Frank. They were mere inches apart and Frank thought he could feel Gerards breath on his own face. Gerard opened his mouth to talk, debating his choice of words. 

"I wanted to get to know you. When I saw you the other day you looked kind of lonely and I thought maybe you could use friend.." Gerard trailed off, staring deep into Franks glistening eyes. 

So Gerard only pitied Frank, he didn't actually want anything to do with the boy. Frank should have seen this coming. Why should Gerard even like him? 

Frank looked down, choking out an answer, "oh..okay." Frank was averting his gaze from the taller boy.

Frank was disappointed but he knew this would happen. No one spent time with Frank Iero just because they liked him. No, people spent time with him because they didn't have anyone else.. or even worse, they pitied him. 

Frank wanted to get up and just leave but he never liked making a scene. He didn't want Gerard to think that he had done something wrong. For Frank it just hurt, knowing that yet another person had felt sorry for him and his pathetic life. Gerard cupped Frank's chin and lifted his head up so that they could see eye-to-eye again. Franks heart started beating harder in his chest. 

The contact from skin on skin with such a beautiful boy was making his head go crazy. However the second Gerard started talking, every thought in Franks head subsided. He could only hear Gerard. It was as if in that moment, Gerard was the only thing in the universe- no, it was as if Gerard was the universe to Frank.

Usually Franks thoughts would haunt him, never going away. Always there. Haunting him. Driving him insane. His head was constantly buzzing with those thoughts. But now everything was calm. No negative thoughts- only Gerard.

"Hey no.. That's not how I meant it." Gerard's tone was soft. "I think you're really nice, okay? God, I didn't mean it like that.. I'm so sorry. I know i barely know you but I really like you and I think being your friend would be pretty cool so, what do you say?" Gerard cracked a smile, he removed his hand from Frank's chin and all Frank could really focus on was how cold his face felt without Gerard's had there. It's like something was missing.

"Uh yeah sure I'd like that," Frank smiled back weakly. 

The thoughts flooding back instantly. He hated his mind. He felt like crying. He was so unstable at the moment. He couldn't tell anyone. They would think he was lying to get attention. 

Sleep has become an irregular occurrence for Frank. It was hard for him to even get the little sleep he did. His thoughts wouldn't let him rest. Ever. But he convinced himself he didn't have to tell anyone. That this was all fine. He wasn't depressed. He was only pessimistic. He didn't have social anxiety. He was just very shy.

He convinced himself he was just stupid. Not worth anyones time or effort.

Gerard snapped him out of his thoughts, "hey? Earth to Frank?" 

Frank looked at Gerard slightly confused. "Uh yeah sorry I totally zoned out." 

Gerard had a concerned look on his face. "You okay? You seem like somethings on your mind?" 

Frank replied quickly "Yeah yeah, I'm fine, Nothing's on my mind, I better get home though, I have loads of work to do." Frank sat up quickly, he muttered "Bye." Frank turned around barely sparing Gerard a glance. 

Gerard could not know how messed up he was. Gerard would hate him. Anyone would- well everyone already did.. They'd just hate him even more. Gerard could not find out. 

He finally had a friend. A friend that maybe actually liked him, just maybe. Gerard was so understanding of his little signs of being disappointed and anxious. Gerard was easy to talk to and that is something Frank was not used to saying. 

As Frank practically ran out of the forest towards his home his thoughts were racing more than usual. He was scared Gerard would think he was weird. He shouldn't have just bolted. He didn't know how else to deal with someone acting so caring though. Frank wasn't used to this. And as Frank lay down in his bed, he started to cry. His body was trembling. Frank was panicking. He was about to have a panic attack and the thought of that made him panic even more. He didn't want this. He never asked for this. This was torture. His breathing hitched.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Was it so much to ask to be happy and normal?