A/N Keefe's POV

I don't know how long I sat there, crumpled against the wall in the hallway. It's safe to say it was several minutes, though. The only thing that brought me out of my stupor was hearing Foster's nagging voice in my head.

Keefe? I tried to ignore her.

KEEFE? Why couldn't she let me sulk in peace?

I know you can hear me, Keefe.

I sighed, giving up. Foster?

Yes, Keefe. We need to talk.

Yeah, we do. But that doesn't mean I have to like it. I'm scared to go talk to her. She literally had to grab my arm to keep me from punching Fitz! He's stupid, but I'm worse. As much as I didn't want to talk about it, I owed her an apology. I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have run off.

I get why you did. But we need to talk now.

Kay. At our spot. And I severed the connection. I know she could force her way back in if she wanted to, but she doesn't. I finally lift my head and look around to get my bearings. It looks like I'm in the hallway next to where I said I'd meet Sophie. So I stand up and stretch, walking over to the bench. I lay down again the way I was when I saw Foster for the second time.

The first time I saw her was during orientation her first day of Foxfire, when Dame Alina singled her out. I was about ten prodigies away, and suddenly I felt this overwhelming wave of embarrassment and humiliation with a dash of anger. That was when I realized there was something special about her- I had never felt anyone else with emotions that strong.

I was so caught up in the memory that I almost didn't notice Foster walking down the hall towards me. She seemed lost in thought too, and was about to pass me, when I spoke.

"You must be lost." I know, it's cheesy. But I guess I was still caught up in the memories of that first day.

By the way, I'm just going to go on record saying there is no such thing as true love on first sight. What happens is a crush at first sight and love that builds over time into something so strong nothing can make it go away. The first time I realized I was in love with Sophie was when we were riding on Glitterbutt to get Sophie's abilities fixed. I felt the shift in her deep emotions, and I felt her start to... I don't know. I labeled it as really trusting me for the first time. But every once in a while, late at night on my good days, I let myself dream that it was something more.

I stood up and reached for her face. The look on her face reminded me of that first day, a little disoriented, embarrassed... and so, so beautiful. But as soon as my fingertips made contact with her cheek, I frowned. She felt... afraid? And now that I was looking, I could see a hint of that fear in her eyes. I closed mine to concentrate on her emotions.

"Are you scared? Scared of... me?" I opened my eyes and looked at her. "Sophie?"

"No, Keefe. Not... not scared. Apprehensive is better. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made you stop. You have every right to be mad at me. I humiliated you in front of everyone, and-"

I cut her off. What was she talking about? She thought this was her fault? She thought I would be mad at her? "Sophie."

She tried to continue. "I'm really sor-"

"Sophie! Listen to me!" I stepped closer to her and tilted her chin up so that she was looking me in the eyes. "Why on earth are you apologizing for not letting me get beat up?"

"I-"

"Sophie, we both know I didn't have a chance. I was just hoping to get a couple punches in and make him pay for... that. It was stupid of me. I was trying to be the hero again, and I'm sorry."

I saw her eyes start to tear up as relief flooded through her. "You're not mad at me?"

"Couldn't be if I tried." I stared into her eyes and decided to tell the truth. "I was doing it for you, you know."

She laughed through her tears. "You are stupid."

"I know." I traced my hand up her face and into her hair. Then I placed my other hand on her waist and pulled her close to me.

I leaned forward and whispered in her ear. "If you hadn't been there, things would've gotten pretty messy."

"I bet Fitz would've looked worse at the end than you."

"Maybe." Yeah, right. In my dreams. He wouldn't have had any conscience holding him back, no worries about doing something wrong in front of Sophie.

"Not that you could ever look bad."

I pulled back a little to look at her and grinned. She was trying too hard, and it was adorable. But she shouldn't be the one to have to cheer me up. I'm supposed to cheer her up. She's the one that matters. So I go for a light mood. "Cheesy."

"Maybe."

And then I couldn't help it. I pulled her closer, holding her tight and kissing her. For a few precious moments, I could forget that there was a Fitz, a fight, a world outside. I could lose myself in my dreams come true. And I did.

I honestly don't know how long I stood there with Sophie all wrapped up in my arms. I barely noticed when the bell rang, but she pulled back slightly. I couldn't pull away from her. I knew the second I did she would leave and I would be alone again, alone with the thoughts and emotions and memories that threatened to bury me at any moment.

I saw her lips moving, but heard nothing over the rushing in my ears. I moved my gaze to her deep brown eyes, memorizing the golden sparkles that were my only lifeline. I ran my fingers gently through her hair. She closed her eyes and leaned into my hand. Without warning, we were kissing again- even sweeter than the first but over far too soon.

After a few minutes, she pulled away and laughed. I wanted to pull her back so badly. But she was ready to go and I needed to learn to let her.

"Grady's already gonna kill me." I realized she was talking to me, but I was so lost in her eyes it took me a minute to place her words. And she was right. Well, half right.

"Mmm... he's gonna kill me."

"Yeah, that too." I tried not to. I really did. But every time she leaves me, I get this irrational but paralyzing fear that she might not come back. So as she pulled away, I kissed her one last time. Then I watched her walk down the hallway, disappearing around the corner.

***

I stood in the hallway for a while longer, staring at where Sophie had been, before leaping to the Shores of Solace. Once there, I strode through the door with Ro behind me, ignoring my dad.

"You should be at Foxfire. What did you do this time?"

"Love you too, Dad."

"It's because I love you that I want to know where you've been. You seem different lately. When was the last time you actually went to a class?" I paused. That was a very good question. Other than PE, I hadn't been to any classes in at least a week. But my dad didn't need to know that. So I simply shoved past him and locked myself in my room.

I collapsed onto my bed and closed my eyes. I had been doing this a lot lately. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Foster's face- even more than before, I mean. Today I saw the relief in her eyes when she'd realized I wasn't mad at her. Of course I wasn't mad at her. What had I done to make her scared of me like that?

I felt like a horrible friend and boyfriend. Was I more like Fitz than I'd thought? Even though I couldn't remember a time I'd been mad at her, really mad, I resolved to never do it again. Especially not on the outside. She should never have to be afraid of what I'll do or say or think of her.

I drifted off into a tense, guilty, restless sleep. The last time I'd slept through the night had been that night I not-so-accidentally fell asleep under the Panakes tree with Foster, so I was always exhausted. Every night since that one, I had woken up at least once with nightmares- or never gone to sleep in the first place. I had had too many nightmares to count, but two repeated the most.

The first is my mom, making me watch as she killed all my friends, then giving me a choice: kill Sophie, or die. Most nights, I took the first option. The dream ended right as I pulled the trigger, the fear and betrayal in Sophie's eyes keeping me up for the rest of the night. And I didn't even have to imagine it. She'd had that look when I stole the cache from her, and again when I stole Tam's crystal and freed Alvar. I had been so stupid then. I knew that day if I saw her look at me like that again, it would break me. So my dreams show it to me almost every night. I wake up knowing I've killed her, hating myself for a choice I'd never make. Not even if my own life was on the line. I would rather die myself than watch anything happen to Sophie.

The other dream seems better, but it isn't. It's one simple scene. I'm watching as Fitz tells Sophie he loves her. She doesn't even look at me before she says she loves him too and then kisses him. I stand there in shock, watching them kiss, unable to look away. I watch as their kiss rips out pieces from my heart and tears them to bits. I watch, and slowly break as everything I've ever wanted disappears from my reach forever, as my best friend who has all the things I never will takes what I need the most.

Suddenly, Ro's voice penetrates my nightmare and I jolt up in a cold sweat.

"Hey Lover Boy, you might want to change before your girlfriend gets here. You're a little sweaty and gross."

I stare at her, uncomprehending for a moment. Her gaze softens. "Another nightmare?"

Ro is the only one I've told about them. I never thrash or scream during one, only freeze and go completely silent. She says sometimes she'll wake up and see me stiff as a board, covered in sweat, and pale as a sheet of paper as silent tears stream down my face. She'll wake me up, and tell me everything's alright. Sometimes I even believe her.

So I nod, then stand up and walk into my bathroom. I peel off my gross school uniform and step into the shower. As I do, I glance at my watch. Oh, no. Foster will be here soon if she was able to come. So I finish quickly, getting dressed in the first outfit I see. I'm not actually sure if it matches. Or is clean. But it doesn't smell bad, so it'll do. I sit on the edge of my bed for a minute, collecting myself. Hold it together, I tell myself. I can't fall apart in front of Foster.

So I'm all smirk when Ro opens the door to let her in. She congratulates Foster on getting out of Denial Land. Of course, Foster blushes. Then she turns to me and starts talking. When she looks at me, I start getting flashbacks from my dreams. I almost close my eyes, but she's looking right at me. I try to focus. I realize she's talking about our assignment, which hurts a little. I don't let it show, though. I do walk over and touch my finger lightly to her soft lips.

"Not even gonna say hello?" I pretend to look hurt, which isn't hard, and exaggerate my pout.

She smiles and blushes again. It takes all my energy to see this Sophie, not the girl in my nightmares. But then she apologizes, steps up on her tiptoes, and brushes her lips softly against my cheek. "Hi, Keefe."

I decide to push it. I mimic her tone. "Hi, Foster." I cross my eyes at the spot on my cheek that she kissed- which is still spreading tingles all over my body- and pretend to glare at it. She laughs and steps up again, kissing me on the mouth this time. Only this banishes the flashbacks from my mind. Before I can even try to hold the kiss, she's gone.

Ro is staring at us, mildly interested. "Wow. That's different." She smirked at me, a clear told you so expression on her face. I wonder what would have happened if I'd taken her advice earlier and talked to Foster. Would this have happened sooner, or would I have messed everything up? Knowing me, probably the latter.

It takes me a second to realize Sophie is talking to me again. She's saying that we should get to work.

"Fiiiiinneee." I dragged out the word, acting reluctant. It wasn't hard. All I wanted was to pull her towards me again and kiss her. She was wearing an adorable red and white tunic with black leggings that fit her perfectly. Red was definitely her color. I tried not to stare. But I did intertwine my fingers with hers as I led her out onto the porch. Then I realized I'd forgotten the things, and reluctantly slipped my hand out of hers. I ran back inside, grabbing a picnic blanket and a medium-sized bowl. Then I came back outside and walked toward the ocean. Foster followed.

I spread out the blanket on the white sand, then dip the bowl into the waves to fill it. I bring it back to the blanket and sit down across from Foster. I set the bowl in between us and look up at her, grinning. "There you go!"

She glares at me. "We both need to be able to do this."

"Yeah. So you figure it out, then teach me!" I said happily like I was explaining to a two year old that they had to stand up to walk.

She laughed at me. "You are ridiculous."

"Uh huh." My smirk came back, almost for real. "And that's why you love me."

She groaned. "Don't you have any other way to respond to that?"

"Don't you ever tell me anything different?"

"... fine. But you have to help."

"Yeah, I figured." I wasn't actually trying to slack. I just love the look on her face when she's mad at me, and figured I wouldn't mind a few extra minutes of staring at her. "Where do we start?"

"I was thinking just lift a tiny bit with telekinesis first, then move on to more." She reached for the bowl, picked it up, and dumped most of it into the sand behind her. Then she sat it back between us and wrinkled her brow in concentration.

I couldn't help it- I stared at her. My gaze was probably pretty intense, but I needed to check her all over, make sure she was really okay. I could still hear her screams from my dream. She was fine, of course, and eventually caught my gaze. We locked eyes, and I could hardly breath. She was so perfect. Her golden hair blew lightly across her face, but she didn't seem to notice. I didn't realize I had raised my arm until my fingertips brushed her cheek. She leaned into my hand, and I continued to watch her, unblinking. I could feel her emotions tingling at my touch, but they eventually settled into the absolute calm and reassurance I got whenever I was near her. Neither of us moved. I barely noticed time go by. I was too lost in her deep eyes to see or hear anything else. I was finally free of the nightmares.

Suddenly, she looked away and turned her head. She must have heard something I didn't. Then I followed her gaze and realized she was staring at the sunset. Suddenly I felt an overwhelming wave of jealousy for the sight that pulled her attention away from me. But then she spoke, interrupting my insane mental spiral.

"That's not possible. We've only been here a few minutes!"

"Guess it was longer then it felt like." I smirked, then fake shook out my arm. "Maybe that's why I'm so sore."

She laughed, and I looked back at her. My stupid jealousy of the sunset evaporated as soon as I saw the look in her eyes. I didn't even need the emotions slamming into me just like always to see the love in them. We both looked back to the water, a little embarrassed.

"We'd better work quickly. Or else Grady will never let me come back here."

I nodded reluctantly, then went back to staring at the water. Sophie did too, and- after several minutes- she got a tiny reaction. But it was the entire bowl that lifted. She set it back down.

We worked for a while longer, finally getting a blob of water to hover in the air on its own. But no matter how hard Sophie tried, she couldn't do anything beyond that. I didn't try.

"You're forgetting Foot Energy, Foster." I smirked.

She stood up, and I did the same. She concentrated on the water, stepping forward slightly. She seemed shocked when it turned into a spinning disc. She let out a little shriek and stepped back, dropping it. "It worked!" she said incredulously.

"Told you, Foster. You just gotta believe in yourself! My turn."

By the time the sun set, even I could form the water into several simple shapes, as well as pick up more from the ocean.

I watched her as we walked up to my room. She seemed so happy and proud and carefree. I loved to see her like that. It meant that all the horrible things she'd been through hadn't broken her. And I could feel her emotions, so I knew she wasn't faking her happiness and hope. Wasn't faking it like me.