On a cloudy night in early spring, the sky was all but obliterated by a thick, moist fog, with only the faint luminescence of the full moon showing through the oppressive curtain of mist.

Out on the edge of town, surrounded by swamps, and its own personal cemetery, stood the massive, decaying Addams mansion, with peeling paint, rotting wood, and broken window shutters hanging askew.

Down in the special corner of the cemetery designated for pets only, Taehyun prepared for a burial. He was dressed in a black jumper, black tights, and black boots, with only the collar of his white blouse providing any contrast.

Kneeling beside him was his brother Huening Kai, who displayed the squint-eyed look of an executioner. Wearing a black-and-white-striped T-shirt, black shorts, and black boots, the boy held a spade with which he was digging a small grave.

Joining the two of them was their Grandpapa Jin, a rather ordinary-looking wizard with crooked fingers.

"Think it's deep enough" Huening Kai said as he paused from digging

"What do you think, Grandpapa?" Taehyun asked.

"I've always preferred a shallow grave myself," Jin replied.

"All right, then," Taehyun said, picking up a shoe box sealed with black electrical tape and handing it to his brother.

As the fog drifted past, Huening Kai started to lower the shoe box into the grave.

"Dearly beloved," Jin said, giving the last rites. "We are gathered here today . . ."

"Meow!" went the box.

"Shhh . . ." went Taehyun.

Yeonjun Addams stood by the French doors near the mansion's great room, watching his children through a cracked pane of glass. Yeonjun was a handsome man with lively eyes and a bit of a dandy, given to elegantly tailored suits of a bygone era.

Yeonjun had been feeling sad the past days, because his brother Taehyung felt lonely. He wanted someone to love. He felt a tug on the cuff of his pants and looked down to see Thing, the disembodied hand.

"Yes, Thing, what is it?" He asked him

Thing made a motion as if clapping, and Yeonjun understood.

"Are you sure you're up for it?" he asked, momentarily forgetting about his brother.

Thing tapped his fingers eagerly on the floor.

"Then, why, certainly!" Yeonjun said.

Thing hopped up and down happily, then scut' ried toward the mansion's great room, followed by Yeonjun, who removed his smoking jacket and rolled up the sleeve of his shirt. Thing held the door open for him, and Yeonjun  went inside.

The great room was a large, circular two-story chamber in the center of the house. The walls were brown and decaying, the windows were cracked, and an enormous chandelier hung precariously by a shredded rope in the center of the room. There, Yoongi, the butler, was dusting some books.

"A cantata, Yoongi!" Yeonjun cried happily. "Thing and I are about to enter the fray."

A low, guttural grumble escaped Yoongi's throat and he climbed the curving wooden stairs up to the huge pipe organ. Yeonjun turned and saw his beautiful husband, Soobin, sitting in his favorite chair, which fanned out in the shape of a spiderweb, his heart warming up at his sight

"Ah, Bin, you are simply radiant tonight."

Soobin's bloodred lips parted in a smile. His dark eyes sparkled, but just recently Yeonjun had noticed some color trying to creep into his lovely pasty-white complexion. It worried him slightly, but he knew that if anything were wrong, his husband would tell him.

"Thank you, darling," Soobin replied, looking up from his knitting as he watched his husband drape his smoking jacket over a chair and roll up his other sleeve. "Exercise, Yeonjun?"

"Indeed," Yeonjun replied.

"Sabers?"

"Better."

"Chess?" Soobin kept guessing

"More strenuous."

"Oh, yes, of course."

"Arm wrestling!" Yeonjun cried.

He sat down at a table, propping his elbow, Thing hopping up on the table and clasping hands with him.

"At the count of three!" Yeonjun said.

"One. .." "Two ..."

Without waiting, Thing lunged to his left, pressing Yeonjun's hand toward the tabletop.

"Bravo, Thing!" Soobin cheered softly.

Yeonjun gritted his teeth and fought Thing back to the neutral territory.

All at once a grandiose cantata filled the room as Yoongi bent over the keys of the pipe organ.

"Inspiration!" Yeonjun hissed through clenched teeth, and slowly began to drive Thing down.

But Thing fought back with remarkable strength considering the body it lacked. Yeonjun grimaced, his face contorted, as Thing slowly drove his hand down toward the tabletop once again.

"Think you've got me, don't you?" Yeonjun grimaced, sweat dripping down his forehead and his face red. "Well..."

With one final herculean effort, Yeonjun flung Thing back, pinning him to the table.

"Yes!" He said, raising his arms in triumph, then taking out a handkerchief and patting his brow, Thing turning his palm up in surrender.

Yeonjun and Thing shook like gentlemen, and Thing lay down on the table to rest.

"Yeonjun?" Soobin said from the chair where he knitted.

"Caro mio?"

"Marvelous news," Soobin said. "I'm going to have a baby." He paused for a moment and then added, "Right now."

Yoongi lumbered off to get the family's vintage Rolls-Royce Phantom, Taehyung got the children and Jin, and Yeonjun helped Soobin downstairs. They all met outside the front door and stood together in the misty air.

"What's going on?" Huening Kai asked.

"Your papa's going to have a baby," Yeonjun said. Thing, not about to be left out, was resting on his shoulder.

"Is that all?" Taehyun seemed a little petulant.

"It's exciting, darling," Yeonjun said.

"It would be nice to have a new baby," Jin sighed.

Yoongi pulled the Rolls around and they all got in the back.

"To the hospital, Yoongi!" Yeonjun cried.

Yoongi put the car in gear and they pulled away, while in the backseat, Yeonjun squeezed Soobin's hand.

"Do you think you'll make it all the way to the hospital?"

"I might," his husband replied, looking serene amidst the family's chaos.

Yoongi stopped the car in front of the hospital's emergency room entrance, and Yeonjun helped Soobin out, going inside to the nurses' station counter.

"Can I help you?" a young woman in a white uniform asked.

"Yes," Yeonjun said. "My husband is about to give birth."

The nurse looked over the counter at Soobin, a weird look on her face. "What makes you think—" she began, but abruptly stopped and stared at Thing rubbing Soobin's stomach lightly.

"What is that?" the nurse gasped, not sure if she referred to the hand or his stomach.

"This is Thing," Soobin replied.

The nurse quickly picked up the phone. "This is the emergency room. I need two orderlies and a stretcher stat. And alert the maternity ward. We've got a baby on the way."

The double doors across the room flew open and two orderlies dashed in with a gurney.

"Come children!" Taehyung called as the orderlies helped Soobin onto the gurney, the family gathered around him as he was lifted onto the gurney.

"I think we better take him directly to the delivery room," the nurse said. "Let's go."

With Thing racing ahead, opening doors, the orderlies and the family ran beside the gurney down the green corridors, a doctor joining them as they went.

"I'm Dr. Harris, the staff obstetrician," he said, jogging along with them. "You have your choice of two types of delivery rooms. There's the traditional delivery room, which is all stainless steel and antiseptic, rather like an operating room and a depressing place to bring a new child into the world, if you ask me."

"Sounds perfect," Yeonjun said.

Dr. Harris frowned, but continued as he ran. "And then there's our new birthing room, which gets direct sunlight and has curtains on the windows and is a much more natural setting for giving birth."

"Sounds horrid," Soobin said from the gurney.

"We'll stick with the traditional one," Yeonjun said.

Among the surrounding chaos Soobin remained elegant and unruffled on the gurney, and as Yeonjun jogged beside him, the thought of the impending birth of his child ignited his passion, making him grasp his hand and hold it tight.

"Nurse, how close are the contractions?" Dr. Harris asked a nurse, who had placed a fetal monitor on Soobin's stomach.

"Every fifteen seconds, Doctor," the nurse replied.

The news sent a burst of rapturous excitement through Yeonjun. He bent over the gurney and spoke intimately to his husband as he rolled down the hall.

"Are you in unbearable pain?" he asked. "Is it inhuman? My darling, is it torture?"

"Oui," Soobin purred.

They reached the delivery room. Thing held the door open, but as the family started to follow the gurney in, Dr. Harris suddenly stopped them.

"Wait, you can't all go in," he said.

"Why not?" asked Jin.

"You're not scrubbed," the doctor explained. "It's unsanitary. There's too much risk of infection." He turned to Yeonjun. "Sir, you must explain to your children and, er, these others that they cannot be present during the delivery. They must wait in the maternity waiting room."

Yeonjun gathered his children, Yoongi, Jin, Taehyung, and Thing around him. "I'm afraid we'll have to listen to the doctor," he said. "Now, go on."

Taehyung stepped close and whispered something in Yeonjun's ear, making him frown and Taehyung look disappointed as he slouched away.

"What did he ask for, Father?" Taehyun asked.

"A lock of the baby's hair," Yeonjun said.

"Poor Taehyung. He just hasn't been himself lately." Jin sighed

Yeonjun nodded and gazed at his troubled brother, who had taken a seat and was digging wax out of his ear with the single fingernail he kept extra long for that purpose.

Perhaps, Yeonjun thought, he had been too hard on him just now. A lock of baby hair. . . Clearly Taehyung was going through a difficult time.

"Take everyone to the maternity waiting room," he told Yoongi. "I'll join you all as soon as I can." He said as he stepped into the delivery room.

The rest of the Addams family waited in the gaily decorated maternity waiting room. The walls were adorned with drawings of pastel-colored animals and balloons, and a number of children's toys were scattered around the floor. Several other people were waiting there nervously.

"I hate places like this," Taehyun muttered sullenly.

"Now, now, Wednesday," said Taehyung.

"What are they all so worried about, anyway?" Huening Kai whispered to Jin.

"They're worried they won't have normal babies," Jin whispered back.

A small girl approached them, wearing a light blue sweater over a pink dress and carrying a Barbie doll. She had pink ribbons in her hair, and Taehyun regarded her suspiciously.

"Hi, I'm Lee Chaeyeon" the girl said.

"I'm Taehyun Addams and this is my brother, Huening Kai," Taehyun said.

"Is your mommy having a baby?" Chaeyeon asked, and Taehyun didn't bother say it was his father the one having a baby. "My mommy's having one. And I know how it was made. Want to hear?"

Taehyun rolled his eyes, but Huening Kai nodded.

"Well, Daddy kissed Mommy," Chaeyeon said. "Then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the stork flew down from Heaven, and left a diamond under a leaf in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby."

"Our parents are having a baby, too," Huening Kai said.

"They had sex," added Taehyun.

"What's that?" Chaeyeon asked.

"It's when-" Taehyun started to say, but the grown-ups who were with Chaeyeon hurried over and led the little girl away.

Taehyun and Huening Kai turned back toward the chairs where the rest of the Addams family were sitting.

"What if Papa has a boy?" Huening Kai asked.

"I say it's a girl," said Taehyun, firmly.

"I say it's a boy!" Huening Kai was just as firm.

"Children, children," said Jin. "Perhaps you're both right."

Taehyung looked up, excited. "Twins?"

"No," said Jin, shaking his head with a smile.

The door to the waiting room burst open and Yeonjun flew in, so excited he could barely speak.

"Yeonjun!" Taehyung cried, jumping up.

"What news?" Jin gasped as they all crowded around him.

Yeonjun opened his mouth, but no words came out.

"Father, what is it?" Taehyun asked.

"It's..." Yeonjun took a deep breath. "An Addams!"