*Seraphine's POV*
I stare down at him in disbelief. Why was it so damn hard for him to believe me? After his little speeches lately I thought we were past this. Still, he cannot seem to trust me or see my value. Still, I had predicted this. Livienne never thought to block her mind from me during our hallway encounter where we were partially alone. So I decided to go with it, but to give her more fight than she bargained for.
"You are always worthy. Always have been. Always will be." He holds my foot around my ankle and caresses my leg. I look up and blow a tendril of hair out of my face. It's hard to stomp him like I had planned on doing. My emotions and hormones are all over, conflicting one another as I stare down at him.
"All that talk earlier. All that praise, and it was all fabricated. That hurts. I really thought that you meant it."
"I mean everything I say."
"You're actions and words are paradoxical."
"I'm sorry."
"Stop saying sorry. Just stop. It's not a bandage. You can't just say and do whatever you feel like and just rely on an apology to magically fix everything."
"You would rather I not apologize?"
"I'd rather you treat me in ways that don't require apologies."
He never seems bothered by the temperature or weather, but I move my foot and help him up from the wet ground. He tries to hold me, but I refuse to hold him back. I'm too upset.
"I left as soon as they started insulting you. I couldn't tolerate it. She stood there and lied right to them, right infront of me after I seen and heard everything." He tries. I simply shake my head.
"Because she knows that they will never accept me. They only tolerate me because what I carry, and because Nomias is probably perverted. I honestly think he's planned on my dying this whole time. That woman told me she had threatened me before to you. And STILL you fucking defended her! Had I not exposed her to you, you still would have."
"She was before you. I've already stated that I made a mistake. What would you have me do?"
"Nothing. Just like you did back there. Go back to your family, and let me do what I need to do."
"What are you up to? I'm not going back there."
"You aren't coming with me. I'm not telling you. I am not even going to tell my own family. I can't trust anyone at this point. You all shouldn't have to risk yourselves because of me. It's my issue, I will solve it on my own. Livienne can be strong and needed all she wants to be, but at the end of the day so am I. Only I'm not going to rely on somebody else's man to save my ass."
"I am coming with you. End of discussion." I glower at him. I feel such a need to prove myself. I'm tired of being out cast and mocked. Viewed as weak and expendable. I want to redeem myself, save myself. I want my son to grow up proud of his mother, the underdog, just as much as he will his father.
"I'm going alone. You just stay here and keep them off my ass." He tries to grab me and I dodge him.
"I didn't mean what I said earlier-"
"I know. That little pep talk was pure bullshit. Don't worry, because soon you will."
"Not that. I meant that I meant-"
"Every word of that part. Don't worry, you'll stand corrected shortly." I snap back. I can feel his misery, and I do what I can to block him out. It hurts me to hurt him, but I have to do this. I have to show him I am capable and a force of my own. I have to show him that he can't walk on me.
"We are going to be okay Seraphine. We'll come back stronger than ever. Won't we?"
"I don't know, Nox. I don't know. That really hurt. I thought of everybody that you would be the one who would believe in me, the mother of your child. Even you don't think I am capable. You have no faith in me, and now I have no trust in you. You can't have the little family you seek without these things Nox. We can't be anything without trust. I'm sorry. I've got to go. I will see you when I see you, and if I have my way you'll be free of Yeomorah's possession. You can go find somebody worthwhile..." I wipe my face and I sprint away quickly. Im not going to allow him to play on my sympathy. Of i see his face I'll be tempted to back out. As soon as I have cover, I teleport.
My chest heaves as I appear in Barima's old house. I never told Nox that I could do this. I had been studying from the books I swiped from the library. Between those, and secret calls to Mileva, I have learned a lot. Now, I have to set about getting Yeomorah or Lucien to find me. This would have been easier in Noxodius's house, but I can risk him going there and seeing me. Or should I go back to his house and allow Nomias to take me to him? Nobody would suspect me, after all I even left in typical Seraphine fashion after my 'freak out'. I feigned panic and ran. Their whole deal fails if Ezekiel doesn't show up anyways.
I'm exhausted, and my back aches. I lie down on Barima's sofa and I think of every possible outcome of this. Every scheme I could try to pull off, and how. I think of every detail of our situation, until I start to piece together conspiracies. Could Livienne be working for Yeomorah? Or could Nomias? The later was on excellent terms with the creep. It is my family after all that Yeomorah despises, not Nox's. His possession of Nox might not have been to take Nox out, but to make sure Nox couldn't interfere to protect me. He likely wanted Nox to kill me himself.
Nox killed our son in Axar's premonition, and in another he killed me. Nomias offered me to stay in his home and offered to list me with Nox in their history, only after my ties to Ezekiel were proven, but first Axar seen Nox kill our child. Nomias at first was going to off us both. Then he must have decided that the child was of value, but that he could appease Nox while working with Yeomorah to eliminate me. That's why Yeomorah said I was of more value alive! I'm a bartering chip. A pawn. Either way, Yeomorah and Nomias would win. Now that mom has found me, Ezekiel is less likely to forsake me. Or could he be playing the game to earn my trust, then kill me or my child? Or both. He did have an arrangement with Samael behind mom's back. No. I can't trust a single soul.
That's why I had to leave Nox behind. I can't have him accidentally slipping up and ruining my plans. He has too much faith in everyone but me. If this fails, he would have just left me anyways. I keep telling myself that to try to feel better about my current situation. Heartbroken, lonely, pregnancy discomfort and hiding in a dead woman's home. Crying on a dead woman's sofa. I nearly break the sofa when I lurch up from the sofa, the round of ringing startling me. That damn cellphone! Shit. I had forgotten about always keeping it in my pajama pockets. I have no doubt who it is. Against my better judgment, I answer it.
"Seraphine!" I move the phone away from my ear.
"Hello I-"
"I'm standing outside Barima's house, I know this is where you like to go to lick your wounds. You have two options, Sersphine. Let me in, or I come in on my own."
"I want to be alone!" I shout.
"Well, I don't. I'm hungry and alone. I smashed Livienne's eye with my shoe so I'm quite sure my family is pissed and wouldn't let me come back right now."
"So I'm your second option?"
"You were my first, but you teleported and left me. Mind to tell me how long you've been able to perform that little stunt, Seraphine?"
"No." I feel his presence inside the house and I narrow my eyes. "Rude of you to let yourself in." The line dies. He clears his throat.
"You weren't going to let me, and I'm not going to let you rid yourself of me." He stands before the sofa. "Let's try this again, lover." He strokes my cheek and I bite him. He shoves his hand back into his pocket. "What is this plan of yours? I want in."
"No! You didn't even think I could pull it off. I'm just a big, pregnant burden that you and your ex fuck buddy have to save."
"Seraphine silence! He screams at me. I sit watching him as he towers before me, my mouth slack. "I won't hear anymore of this. How long do you intend to suffer me?"
"Then leave. I intend to suffer you the rest of your life."
"Why?" Hell if I know really. It's so simple, yet do complicated I can't put it into words and so I remove my block. I open my mind to him.
I am certainly jealous, but even more upset that he would go to such lengths to insult me and all while complementing the woman he bedded and claims to hate. I worry that maybe there's something there between them, and here I am like a fool. Once again. Just like with Justin. Here I will be once again outshined, picked over, and humiliated. Even she knew he considered me a pet once. They had spoken of me obviously as well, given that she had threatened me to him and STILL he was willing to put us in her presence. He shouldn't even be in her presence, she could have deceived and cost him his life. If the roles were reversed he would kill the man I dared expressed any adoration for. He couldn't even stand my taking Axar in, and him a child. Nox is stiff as a board as he obviously has taken advantage of the opportunity I created for him.
"You're right. I would kill him. I would kill anybody that would dare drive a wedge between us. I'd kill Livienne right here. My brother. Your brother. Anyone. That's why I'm here. Not even you can keep us apart. Now sit back down, and fill me in." I try to walk past him but he catches me and turns his back to the sofa to sit with me on his knees.
I could fight him off, but I don't. I grab his hands and I let him see into my mind again. I let him see what I find suspicious and I let him follow through my conspiracies. I let him feed because he has expended himself keeping up with me. I worry that he might turn on me though, as he had under possession before. Which gives me my last grand scheme.
"Nox, can you be possessed by two people at once?"
"No. No you cannot. One will take precedence over the other."
"Which will prevail? How would you be the dominant one?"
"Possession requires a lot of strength Seraphine. The one who has the stronger mind and focus will be victorious. Are you planning to possess me?" He lowers his face level with mine.
"Perhaps. If I could possess you while Yeomorah is preoccupied he couldn't do much about it. You mentioned before it's extremely tough to run two bodies at once. He'd have to take yours or his eventually right? So I could keep you from turning at his will. But, if it doesn't come to that what if I could possess Livienne, Nomias, Lucien or even Yeomorah himself? Livienne would tell me her part in this as would Nomias, if he's in on this. Lucien is strong enough to take out his own men or to kill and feed from if I become weakened. If I could get Yeomorah though, this would all be over."
"How do you plan to go about this?" I smirk.
"I'm part succubus aren't I? If I can't decide them, I'll seduce them. If I can't or don't want to seduce them, I'll use Livienne's body to do it. None of them are aware of most of what I've learned to do, especially Livienne. If I can't get my target, I'll just use whomever until I get closer to my intended victim. Like baby steps."
"I say, that we find Ezekiel and the others and get him in on this. After all, as Ezekiel said, the deal is only relevant with you both present." He pulls the ring back out of his pocket and places it in my hand again. "I'm sorry-"
"No. I am sorry. I shouldn't have behaved how I did. I shouldn't have even touched Livienne. I should've kept my mouth shut and made you see what I seen once we were alone."
"I should never have doubted you, or been condescending towards you. I can't blame you for being territorial or wanting to defend yourself. You carry orescious cargo, I should be the last person to make you unhappy. And yet, even in your anger, you help me up and feed me. Worry for me." I clutch him tightly. After everything I've been through, he is mine. I will not go through this alone. I will prove myself still yet, and secure my place in his life and heart. A place I've earned. I have him by my side now. We are going to make it. We are going to pull this off together. I was so scared of having to try this all alone.
"We are going to be okay, Seraphine. Shall we hunt before finding Ezekiel? We need strength for tomorrow, and we know for certain he will not be far. He needs to kill Yeomorah, if he wishes to regain his power and lifespan." That had not even crossed my mind! Of course he can't go far!
"Let's hunt, lover." I tease as I curl beneath his arm. We vanish together, and begin our search for victims.