Never had I ever felt the way I felt after Aashiq had forced himself on me. I felt dirty, like my body wasn't mine anymore. I felt disgusted. I felt defiled. I felt empty. I felt numb. I felt brittle, like I was a frozen leaf and if I moved too fast or wasn't careful, I could shatter. I felt worthless. I hated myself for not being able to stop him. If I had screamed for help or something, it wouldn't have happened. I allowed Aashiq force himself on me.

     I curled myself underneath my blanket and hugged my pillow. I needed to talk to someone but I had no close friend. Heck! I had no friend at all. I didn't know if I could consider a few of my course mates that I spoke with once in a while friends. I had nobody to talk to. Not even my mother.

     I didn't know what to do. What happened after being raped? I had no idea. How would I face the society? Even if I had someone to talk to, wouldn't they judge me? There was this stigma that came with rape that I didn't want for myself. Rather than being there for the victim, the society blamed them.

     What were you wearing? Did you give him any signals that you wanted him? Were you walking alone? Did you visit him alone? I didn't want to answer those questions.

     I couldn't exactly describe how I felt. I wanted to scream, and at the same time, roll myself into a ball and just stayed that way until death came. Mustering up all the strength I had left, I dragged myself into the bathroom and ran the shower, then sat underneath it. I cried. I cried not just because Aashiq violated me, but because I had trusted him not to ever hurt me.

     I didn't know how long I stayed there but a knock my door brought me out of my thoughts. I tied my towel around me and put on a long hijab over it, then walked slowly to the door. When I opened it, I saw a girl I hadn't met before. She looked familiar. When I stared at her a little longer, I realized I had seen once or twice in the hostel.

     "Are you okay? I heard you screaming and crying."

     I wanted to lie and say I was fine but the look on her face showed she was really worried.

     "I- I-" I couldn't even bring myself to say I wasn't fine.

     "May I come in?" Without uttering a word, I moved to the side for her to come in. Instead of going back to my bed, I stood there, numb.

     She walked over to me and shut the door, then pulled me gently to the bed.

     "I don't know what happened to you and I don't know how you're feeling but it's okay if you cry. I'm not pushing you to tell me anything since we barely know each other but if you ever want to talk, I'm here."

     I nodded. "Thanks."

     We sat there in silence for almost an hour before I found the courage to speak. What was the worst that could happen?

     "I- I was raped."

     She looked at me in shock, then shook her head. "I don't understand you. Where, when and how did it happen?"

     "Here in this room, by my supposed boyfriend." I sobbed out.

     "Boys aren't allowed into the hostel." she stated. I nodded. How would I tell her he wasn't just an ordinary boy?

     "You wouldn't understand."

     "If it isn't any trouble, make me understand. Please. I really don't want to see you in this condition."

     I sighed and told her everything about me. I told her about Preeta and Aashiq. About Haroun and Rashcid. About every paranormal stuff that had been happening to me. She didn't look surprised or scared. Instead, she pulled me into a hug when I had finished my story.

     "I'm sorry you had to go through all this. I don't know what kind of jinns you've met but they're all weak creatures. Allah created us above them so you have nothing to fear. They derive pleasure in scaring humans. I don't know if you pray or read the Qur'an. If you don't, you really should start doing it. What I'll advice is for you to do a lot of dhikr. Read the four quls and read the ayatul qursiy. Jinns hate that particular ayat. It burns them. Wallahi sister, if you read them regularly, in shaa Allah, you'll be free from jinns."

"I don't know how to read the ayatul qursiy."

"You can look it up on google or I'll write it down for you. In addition to that, you may want to try self ruqya. If after all that they still disturb you, then you may have to see an experienced raqi."

"Who's a raqi and what's ruqya?" I asked. I had never heard of all those terms.

"A raqi is like an exorcist. Actually, a raqi is a person who treats illnesses caused by jinns, black magic, evil eye and the sort with verses from the Qur'an. Ruqya is the treatment to remove these illnesses."

"Oh..."

"Yeah. You should really take my advice seriously."

"Thanks a lot...?" I paused. I didn't know her name.

"Razia. I'm your next door neighbor."

"Thanks a lot Razia. I'm Aisha." I smiled at her.

"It's okay. I guess Allah sent me to help you." She shrugged.

"Yes yes. You're really God sent."

She laughed and shook her head. "I don't mean to be rude but you look like shit. Go take a shower and we'll go down for food. You look like you could use some food." In response, my stomach growled.

I took a quick shower and when I walked into the room, I saw Razia sprawled on my bed going through my human physiology textbook. I didn't utter a word to her. Rather, I put on a jilbab.

     "I'm ready."

     "Cool, let's go." she said, a little too excited. As we walked downstairs together, I couldn't help but feel I had found a friend. I was glad I hadn't hidden anything from her. Maybe, just maybe, she could help me get through this.

Hey y'all. I would've updated earlier but something happened😭💔 After typing the whole chapter, it somehow got deleted. I hate wattpad for iPhones. Honestly the android app is wayyyy better. Soooo, I forgot half the things I wrote in the chapter because Zombies probably ate my brain😹😹😹this rewritten version isn't as good as the original one. But what can I do? Nothing at all😹😹