Aunt's house was more Turkish than I anticipated.
There prevailed long mahogany carpets, Turkceramics and stained glass art pieces. Dim lights, the smell of sweet baklava from the kitchen.

"So she ultimately did marry Aydin," she said piercing her eyes through me. Her daughter in law placed tea and snacks before us.

Anne tried to convince Aunt defending and flattering me. Aunt stood unimpressed and she was apparently rude to us. I did not mind her gestures towards me but it ached when she said "but it was profitable after all luring her family for years, now their only daughter is yours"

It bit Anne as she shrank. The sole estate of Anne and Timur was written to me, they did not take anything they gave me everything. But I was too tame to say a word.

We returned and I kissed Anne on her cheek and we busted out laughing the insults.

Back Home is so tranquil, the generous pause of vitality, something so wonderful in a house where the Almighty is been called often. We made our dinner, Timur was out on another trip. When we had retired on the sofa, I looked at Anne, "I love you, Anne, thank you for being so kind and humble to me"

She was quiet. I took her hands "would you like some tea, I do not want to sleep early"
So the tea was on the flame and the aroma lay the carpet for Anne to speak and she finally broke her silence "Laraib can I talk to you about Arsalan?"

I smiled and kissed her again "Anne please"

Her eyes glistened and teacups were in our hands we sat in the garden, the roses leaned in to hear us, we all love Love.
"He was so gorgeous Laraib, so charismatic. When we met the first time, his family had come with a proposal and arrange marriages are so volatile, I saw him from the kitchen and I knew, I just knew he was different. We met at the University often, he was a talker" colour returned to Anne's pale face, her eyes resurrected her soul "we married hastily... I discontinued my studies because I was too happy to pay attention elsewhere, he was a good man" her voice quivered.

"Have you seen a sunflower field?" she asked me, I shook my head. She took the cups from hand and placed them in the basin.

"Arsalan once took me to one to see the sunset in a sunflower field. It was the most beautiful day of my life. I saw all the hues of yellow and orange merge like a painting. He photographed me for hours until the sun had completely set, every frame that he clicked he smiled at it in a way that the memory is engraved in me like a promise" she sighed and I hung the cup washed, dripping water and she plucked them and wiped them with a cloth instead "we walked home without shoes till the field ended, that was the day I discovered there is no one in this world who can ever love me like Arsalan does"

She was lost in the memories of him. I was sad he was not with us. Things would have been so different if he were here...Timur would be so distinct...

We both returned to the sofa and Anne looked at Timurs books. "Arsalan was the happiest man when Timur was born, so exceedingly happy to see his son that till his death could not recover from the joy. He wanted Timur to learn as much he could, he loved to teach and Timur loved to learn. We never reckoned life without him. If I had
Discerned, I never would let Timur spend ample time with him, wouldn't let his father spoil him so much, would love him more than his father did but I don't think anybody can love Timur as much as Arsalan did?"

Grief rained on us, we were still. Projected possibilities of what could've been done are so often knocking us down but lastly, I and Anne smiled for one must accept what lived can never be advanced, it was the best, the best Qadr.

" I would ask Timur to take you the sunflower field, yes that is, once he returns you two must visit the fields" she stated and I admitted. I was sure she would accompany us. "Nazar degmesin" she stroked my head.

We both were parting to sleep, I placed her soft printed cotton quilt to defeat the frostiness, when she held my hand, " thank you Laraib" she spoke emotionally charged "thank you for talking to me about Arsalan, I have not talked of him for years... Thank you" I shook my head but could not regain the words to console her.
Her vision damps with water "only if Timur would reflect his father for once it would set me free...you see he never speaks of him" she cried.
I shivered with her emotions and cuddled to her on the bed. " I miss him too" I embraced her tightly.

The life I feared, the life that seems to have ended truly did end. This was the new beginning, I had numbness instilled. Recovering and battling for this ageing process. I attended more lectures when I felt bad, sat with more wise women when I was disturbed, was I healing or packing my emotions inside, Lord knows better but I definitely was sauntering the better side of me.

Anne, when I would occur sorrowfully, would narrate me folk tales, I would drench in nostalgia, Anne is the best storyteller, her Turkish accent would marry her English and the passion would lift me up with her moral endings, I would sleep on her lap and sometimes cry when I could no longer understand what has happened and she would kiss me and lull me to sleep.

Nights with Timur were exclusively contrary to Nights with Anne, he would exhaust me with his reading and being awake all night. He would never switch off the lamp and never speak more than two sentences.

"at least switch off the lights Timur, it is intolerable!" I complained. He moved the lamp on the opposite side and continued to read. "you are distasteful, those are books are as boring as the roses you've planted in your garden" I was vicious.

He would seldom answer, he preferred his solidarity even when in company.

I rolled my eyes and kicked the wall.
The next morning Anne suggested him the field trip, he shook a 'hmm' out of him and dripped in the book, I pushed his head in the book, he growled.

"Anne we should have a pet, a cat possibly" I raised myself in apprehension. Anne placed our teacups and wiped the sides of the table before taking Timur's book from him " I think you both you should get me a grandchild" she tossed her head to me " a girl child possibly"

I pushed myself in the chair and saw Timur have no verdict to her mother's invalid request.

She then adored Timur like she always does. I sometimes dislike Timur and his immotile features.
The same afternoon Anne went to Aunt, Timur was spared alone to me.

"Timur you should pay more attention to Anne and conceivably have a talk with her, she loves you so much" I uttered aloud to him. He raised his sight and disappeared it as quickly.

"Timur do you even exist!" I shouted. He closed his book and he looked angry and I was a little scared but I acted bravely" look Timur, I know you are not quite happy about this marriage and you feel odd but you should talk to Anne she watches you for hours quietly anticipating your return when You are gone and all you do when you are here is read that damn book!"

"Raib, she is MY mother" he hissed, I came close to him perhaps we both must be angry right now " I know! Then respect the mother you have!" he banged the book on the table and sneered "says who!? Look! The girl who hasn't talked to her mother since she's married!" oh he did not "you're such an a--" I took myself back.

At the dinner table, Anne was cheerful "Pass some bread to Laraib Timmy" he being a stone hedge he did not move, Anne repeated three times but he did not move so I took the bread from his plate and ate, he pulled the bite off my hand "do you have any manners Timur" I spat, he, well he is Timur. I left the dinner table in anger.

Anne exclaimed "Oh! did you say something to the girl in my absence Timur! "

I could hear from the room Timur being taken care of, he had an earful. I was ready to accept the apology he would now make. He came to the room, pulled out his bedding, switched on the lamp and went in that God damn book of his!

"How spiteful! You are so arrogant Timur!" I flung the pillow on him.
He did not even cast a wrinkle on his iron face, I was vengeful "I cannot sleep in this room if you keep the lights on, this is exceedingly uncomfortable, how must I sleep---?" he smacked one of his sleeping pills on my hand before I could complete. I swallowed it quickly as he swallowed two of those staring at me hatefully.

The window shone brightly like someone has placed car headlights right at them, I took a deep breath and looked over, I slept unduly. Oh my, Fajr!
I hunched over, Timur and his fat books... I shook my head.

"sleep some more" he mumbled. Huh, stupid man.
"Anne is asleep, don't wake her up" he added.
I twisted my hair in a bun, I want some tea, "Timur can you make me some tea" I sweetly requested against the nerves. He went downstairs and politely handed me a tea on his retrieval. "Thank you " I pleasantly exclaimed. He leaned in close and looked in the cup and then at me "we had our lunch an hour ago, if you may please spare me half of the tea it would be nice" he whispered.

"what!? What....what time is it!" I freaked out.

"four in the evening" he muttered. I was embarrassed and I did not know what to do "is Anne having her noon nap?"

"I am afraid it is her noon nap," he said smirking, he was enjoying this, he knew this would happen, then it struck me "you take two of those every day and you are wide awake like an owl, you are a maniac!" I smashed his book at him.

He took the book and retired in his usual fashion as I speeded my way to look fresh to Anne, she for an entire day was beaming mischievously as she could.....