"We must brainstorm. Create a master plan- a masterbatory plan!" Vil looks to her partner for a reaction.

"Ha. That's good," an amused Eve hands a drink to me and a pleased Villanelle.

"You know what you need? A vibrator." the russian suggests, eyes on the curly-haired woman, "We have many."

Alice tries not to cough up a lung after choking on her chardonnay, "I don't know, they give me the willies."

"That is the goal, no?"

"What about weed?" Eve returns from the kitchen.

Her partner hums in affirmation, "Sex while high can be exquisite."

Alice looks between the two, "Oh no I don't do drugs."

"I think you should consider taking a lover," Vil suggests, "That is if you don't mind breaking your vows."

"No moral qualm for me there," Alice shakes her head, almost surprised at herself, "but what am I supposed to do? Go up to some guy on the street—?"

"She means a woman," Eve pats Alice's knee.

"What?!"

"A woman lover." Villanelle confirms, "Look at what it has done to Eve, she is glowing. Her hair is even shinier. She floats around the house when she is not limping."

Eve rolls her eyes, "Don't listen to her, listen to me. Who else more fit to help you than someone much more familiar with the manual. The only problem is who."

"I'm thinking a woman who will have all kinds of tricks up her sleeve for these particular situations...and as it happens I have a second cousin who runs a service specifically for this."

"Service?" Alice parrots.

"She is family. Valentina has some of the finest women I have ever seen."

"Alright—" Eve scoffs.

"I mean smoking hot." Villanelle continues, the phrase is odd coming from her, "I have bedded many women, Alice. Tall women, short women, blonde women, brunette women, ginger women, flexible women, athletic women, middle aged women, double D's, real brazilian ass—"

Eve cuts the list nowhere near its end, "Settle down Dr.Seuss!"

"Oh my god." Alice mumbles.

"Valentina is professional, no one but no one would ever find out."

"I thought it was just for men? You're telling me women actually do that?" Alice asks.

Eve can sense her friend is almost on board, "It hasn't happened with a shlong- oh well. You are hiring her for a service, a very specific service she specializes in. What've you got to lose?"

Alice and Eve have a silent battle with their eyes before the contemplative silence is broken by the Russian.

"Not a lot at this point."