I heard the front door opening a few hours later as I was laid out on the couch. I knew it was Kyle and I had been preparing myself for a lecture, I was so awful to Dean, that I was sure he had complained to Kyle. As Kyle joined me in the living room his face showed care and concern, not anger and irritation.

"Are you okay? Mel called to tell me about Dean." 

I broke once again, crying and blabbering about how I felt no control over what had happened between us. Kyle said nothing as I spoke, just sat there and listened to me while rubbing my back to comfort me. Once I had calmed down, he turned my face to look at him, he smiled down at me.

"Dean had no right to come here and try to talk to you about the situation. It's my fault that he was here in the first place, I apologize princess. You were in the right to react the way you did; therefore, you are not in trouble for any of it. I would like us to talk about it, but only when you are ready, deal?"

The swelling of my heart made me love him even more than I already did. I jumped in his arms instantly regressing and feeling like I was being validated for standing up for myself instead of punished for breaking rules. Soon though, Kyle went to start some quick dinner and left me to watch a kids show in the living room. I felt bad knowing that there was still a mess in the kitchen and the dining room from lunch; however, he didn't complain about it or say anything at all. 

I fell asleep that night knowing that I wouldn't have to feel bad for the way that I thought, or how long it took me to make a decision about Oliver and Abby.

~~~

"It's good to see that you are feeling validated Xea, so things are going well between you and Kyle?" Cristine asked.

Smiling I nodded at her, "yeah, things are going great. He never makes me feel like the thoughts are bad. Especially, since things are getting a bit difficult lately."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, we've been running into Oliver lately, and for some reason it hasn't been as hard as it used to be. He has a little, she's sweet, a brat, but sweet. I have been thinking about being friends with her."

"That poses some risks, you are aware of that yes?"

I let out a heavy sigh, "unfortunately yes I do know that. It's been weighing on me, the pros, the many, many cons that come with it. Yet, I can't seem to get it out of my head, the constant thinking of getting out of the small circle that is basically just my family."

She set her pen down for a moment, "right, and it's good to make new friends. However, I am concerned that this might set you back a few steps in your healing. I am not going to tell you that you can't, that's not what I'm here for. I am here to at least let you know that I am worried about you harming your progress."

"I've thought about it a lot, and I am worried that something will happen to hinder what I have worked on. Unfortunately, I can't stop thinking about it all the time, wondering the what if's about all of it."

"It's not a crime to wonder, it's healthy, I just want you to at least think about it some more before you fully make the decision to let him in again."

Nodding to her I got up, our session was over, and I was given a lot to think about again. How am I supposed to think about all these things yet keep my mind from spiraling into a mush?

~~~

I was silent the next few days and barely left mine and Kyle's room. It was our room when I wasn't in little space, yet his when I was in little space. Mel came over for her normal hours, however instead of her having to babysit, she just did some cleaning up. Kyle let me have my time to think, not pushing me to talk if I didn't want to, nor pressuring me to regress if I wasn't comfortable. 

"Hey ZZ, I'm headed out, Kyle should be home in a few minutes, okay?" Mel mentioned before heading to the door.

Looking up to her back I smiled, "thanks Mel, you're amazing. Drive safe on your way home."

Since I hadn't really said much, she was shocked, though she tried not to show it, I knew, so she smiled waved and left. The best thing for me right now was to keep a small distance between Oliver and I, so maybe a play date with Abby, here in our house, without Oliver would help. That is how I want to continue this entire thing. I'm not going to let this control me anymore, I am getting better, and I feel more in control of everything instead of spiraling out.

We needed to talk about all of this when he gets home, I know Kyle is not the most comfortable with Oliver, hell, neither am I. Yet, I am not going to hide behind a mask the rest of my life, I am going to take back the happy times and push through the bad. 

~~~~

Short chapter I know, I am so sorry. However, I am hoping that it is at least enough for you guys to keep interest in the story. I love you all and really hope you guys like it.