TEXT MESSAGES BETWEEN DAKOTA MCMANUS, LEWIS HAMILTON, SEBASTIAN VETTEL, DANIEL RICCIARDO, FERNANDO ALONSO AND SERGIO PEREZ

A.K.A THE COUNCIL OF ELDERS

Honey Badger 🦘

hey mac, just checking in to make sure you're all right, and that you are RELAXING

Dakota

relaxing???? in this economy?

jk guys, im doing okay. ive been hanging out with virginia, and tomorrow we're going out to longreach to see my parents and my granddad

Padre Alonso

Dakota, now is not the time for jokes.

Dakota

jeez, fernando. seriously, im fine.

i just needed to get away for a while. the pit crew doesnt always get that when you have weekends like weve been having

lewis the goat 🐐

he's just looking out for you, mac. we all are.

we want to make sure that youre taking care of yourself.

Dakota

actually guys, on that note, theres something ive been thinking about a lot lately and i could use the council of elders' opinion

pope sergio michel

Please stop calling it the council of elders 🙄

I'm 32 years old, I'm not a relic like Fernando

Padre Alonso

Watch your mouth tough guy

Dakota

*virtually clears throat*

Honey Badger 🦘

that is the cringiest thing that i have ever seen you do in a text conversation

you bring shame to our country

Dakota

STFU

anyways

. . . so you all know my contract is up at the end of the season

pope sergio michel

I immediately dislike where this is going 

Dakota

and i'm going to leave alphatauri.

i cant stay underneath red bull's umbrella any more

Sebby Vettel 🌈

YOURE DOING WHAT

pope sergio michel

Are you sure you've thought this through?

Honey Badger 🦘

does this mean that yo're going to take the mclaren deal?

lewis the goat 🐐

but why? you have a good thing going over there.

if yu take horner and marko out of the equation

Dakota

that's just it lewis.

horner and marko are making it HELL for me, and i know they dont technically work for AT and are more concerned with RBR but they like making my life a living hell

its starting to feel like 2019 again

Sebby Vettel 🌈

Wait, what happened in 2019?

Dakota

shit, i forgot that sebby doesnt know. we didnt know each other then.

Honey Badger 🦘

long story short, mac was depressed ( no diagnosis ever received, but we could tell something was wrong ) and she worked too much.

and she cried a lot

lewis the goat 🐐

she also didnt tell anybody she had migraines, so when she had to go to the emergency room because of one, we were all floundering like idiots because we had no idea what was happening

pope sergio michel

SPEAKING OF WHICH

are you taking your migraine meds?

lewis the goat 🐐

there was also the singapore incident of 2019

Sebby Vettel 🌈

That one I think I know.

Dakota

GUYS GUYS GUYS

let me switch this to a call so we can talk my options out

hang on a minute

DAKOTA:  Much better. Now, what do my options look like right now?

SEBASTIAN: Well, who do you have offers from?

DAKOTA: Officially, McLaren. Guenther offered me a place at Haas, but that's not exactly going to help my career. Part of why I'm pissed about staying at AlphaTauri i the fact that we never have anything to celebrate any more. We're midfield at best.

DANIEL: The terms of the offer are still fuzzy to me, Zak didn;t explain any of them, did you look the contract over?

DAKOTA: I had a read through while I was on the plane. It's the same job, same pay. They're not impressing me in that sense, but it would be nice to be with a team that gets podiums. What I have to think about now is where I want my career to go from here. If i put in the years, I could be a team principal, potentially the youngest ever, like I've done with everything else in my damn career.

SERGIO: Ah, and Christian Horner doesn't like that, I take it.

DAKOTA: Horner has made it quite clear, especially in the past week that I've reached the end of the line with the Red Bull umbrella, and it's not like Franz has jumped to my defense or anything. Actually, Ferrari's crew cheif has done more to defend me than Franz has. I can't keep scheduling crying time into my race weekends. I can't keep worrying over if out cars are going to make it past the first lap or not. It's driving me mad, and I can do it. My migraines have been getting worse with each day that I spend at the track, guys.

LEWIS: Dakota, breathe. Start talking to other teams, get your name out there. Scour the midfield and see what's happening. I can talk to Toto, see if Merc can offer you anything.

DAKOTA: Thanks Lewis. You'd really do that?

LEWIS: Of course! Dakota, you deserve better. More than Red Bull.

SERGIO: Don't push it. But if you think you'd be happier somewhere else, who are we to judge?

DAKOTA: Thank you. This means so much to me.

SEBASTIAN: I will reach out to my old contacts at Ferrari, see if there's anything Mattia can do. I'll talk to Lawrence as well, Aston Martin is always look for people.

DANIEL: The team principals are getting older, and some of them are going to have to start thinking of replacements. So offer them one, tell them you want the training and the opportunity.

DAKOTA: Guys, do me a favor and don't tell Yuki or Pierre yet. I don;t want them to know that I'm thinking of not coming back next year. They need to focus on driving.

FERNANDO: Dakota, you can;t just keep this a secret forever, especially from Yuki.

DAKOTA: I know, but I'm in a good place with Yuki right now, and I don;t want to upend that by saying I'm going to switch teams. That might create problems where there don't need to be any.

DANIEL: If he really loves you, he's going to stay by your side regardless.

DAKOTA: I know, but in my mind, why risk it?

FERNANDO: In our line of work, kiddo, things don;t stay secret for very long. He's going to find out one way or another, and I think Yuki would rather hear it from you.

DAKOTA: He knows about the McLaren offer. *sighs*. He also thinks that I should take it. He feels bad that the season has been off to a rough start, and he just wants me to be happy. He doesn't know that I'm leaving Alpha yet, though. Fuck. *Dakota turns her head to the side, fingertips against her temple as a jolt of pain shoots through her skull*

DANIEL: Crikey, Dakota. Are you alright?

DAKOTA: That's my brain telling me to end this conversation.

LEWIS: So not funny.

SERGIO: Especially after what happened in Mexico City.

SEBASTIAN: What happened in Mexico City?

LEWIS: I can give you the long version later, but basically: migraine, vomit, emergency room, me and Toto not being able to speak Spanish, and three angry Toro Rosso drivers plus Dakota;s grandfather wondering why they weren't called when we first found her puking her guts out in the Mercedes motorhome.

DAKOTA: Well, there's a bit more to it than that.

LEWIS: Yes, and that's why I said I'd tell him later.

DAKOTA: I haven't had a migraine that's been ER bad in a few years now, but if the season gets any worse, I might start bleeding out my ears.

FERNANDO: You have no idea hoe far from funny that is right now.

DAKOTA: Sorry, Fernando. Thanks for this chat guys, but I should get going. My head is killing me, and if I want to catch the sunrise waves, get down to the water before all the tourists show up, I need to get some sleep. I'll see you guys in like a week, right?