seventeen

"Don't you think that was kinda fucking mean?" Fezco asked Olivia, who was sitting on his bed.


"I really do feel bad. I don't know what came over me. I was just so mad she went and told BB we were fucking." Liv said, staring at the floor and shaking her head. She was telling the truth, and Fezco knew that.


"You that ashamed to be seen around be, huh?" He questioned, looking up at her.


"What? No. Fez, no." She said, standing up. She grabbed his hands and put them on her waist, making him look at her.


"I'm not embarrassed to be seen with you. I promise." She told him, staring in his eyes. Olivia didn't know how many times they would have this conversation, but she was underestimating how insecure Fez was feeling in their..situationship.


She got on her tippy toes and kissed him. He gladly kissed back, never able to turn down a kiss from her. Liv threw her arms around his neck to pull him in closer, and he was just about to walk her to the bed when they heard pounding on the door.


"Fuck." Fez mumbled. He gave Olivia one last peck before she pulled away to let him answer the door.


I was really embarrassed when I found out Liv had heard everything that had happened.


I realized Fezco didn't just open the door because he didn't want me using, but also because Olivia was there and he didn't want her near any of it. I get it. If she was my girlfriend, I'd want to protect her from all this shit, too.


I don't want to get into this part. Mainly because it was me acting like a psycho. But it's hard for me to remember. When I left his house, I was livid and desperate. And then, after thinking it over, Fezco not answering the door made me realize that I was addicted and I needed help.


It also made Olivia resent me. We weren't close, as you know, but I put a huge rough patch in whatever was going on between her and Fez.


I hurt Fezco with everything I said. Whether I meant it or not, which I didn't, it didn't matter. I still said them and made him second guess, like, fucking everything.


"Is she okay?" Olivia asked once he got back upstairs.


"Look, after Rue leaves, I think you should dip." He said. Liv furrowed her eyebrows, confused.


"What?" She asked. She couldn't tell if he was being serious or not.


"I don't think we should be fucking around no more." He told her.


"Did I do something wrong?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest.


"No, no you didn't do anything wrong. You never do anything wrong, Olivia." He said. At this point, Liv didn't even remotely what he was saying or where he was trying to get.


"What?" She asked again.


"Look, Rue was right. I don't got none of my shit figured out. You do. And, if we ever get serious, what the am I gonna bring to this relationship?" He asked. Olivia rolled her eyes, not wanting to have another conversation like this.


"Fez.." She started.


"You have plans. You got dreams and goals. I'm a drug dealer. I'm stuck here and there's no getting out. I'm not tryna bring you down with me." He said.


A strong silence dropped over them. Olivia couldn't believe he was actually being serious, and Fezco was just hurt. He didn't want it to be like this, but in his mind, he was right.


"So what? You want me to leave this house for good?" She asked. She couldn't help but tear up. He and Fez have been friends for a long time, and now it was like he was ready to just let all of that go.


"I want you to have a good life, even if that means I can't be in it." Fez said. Liv let out a scoff and started walking towards the door. Before she left the room, she looked over her shoulder.


"If I leave right now, I'm never coming back." She said, starting to cry. He didn't say anything, and that kind of shocked her. She thought at first that maybe this was just him thinking in the moment, but now she knew he was dead serious.


"Did you hear me? If you let me walk away right now, I'll never come back to you." Liv said, turning around again. It was noticeable she was crying by this point, but he still kept his mouth shut.


She let out another scoff before leaving the house.


The drive home was rough. She cried, knowing that her and Fez, whatever they had, was over and done. She cried, knowing she'd be returning to an empty house. But mainly, she cried because she was now alone.


Olivia Jackson was officially the girl who had everything and nothing at the same time.

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