when liv finally stopped crying, she took a nap and tried to convince herself to sleep things off. when she woke up, it took her three hours to clean the whole house after the party.

as she cleaned, she called bb to vent to her about her ex boyfriend relationship problems and fill her in. even though bb was a good listener, she wasn't super helpful and added maddy and cassie to the call without realizing they didn't know about fez and liv's relationship.

"wait, back up. you and fezco were fucking?" maddy asked. olivia threw her head back and sighed.

"it...it sounds like more than just fucking. it sounds like they really loved each other." cassie commented.

even though cassie was going through a low-grade depression and felt kind of awkward in a call with maddy, she liked listening to other people's problems like olivia's. it made her feel like hers weren't as bad.

"i did love him. past tense." liv said, throwing another solo cup into the trash bag she was holding. she didn't check to see if there was any alcohol in it or not.

"holy shit. bitch, how come i never knew about any of this?" maddy continued to question.

"because she's seventeen and his ass is nineteen. it's illegal." bb said. maddy shrugged, holding the phone up to her ear.

"so? it's a two year difference." she asked. olivia put the trash bag down and walked over to where her phone was, it being on speaker.

"no offense maddy, but i was mainly trying to keep it from nate. but, now i know none of that mattered anyway." olivia said. she remember nate handing her that file in the gym and cringed.

on the other line, cassie shifted at the mention of nate.

"what's that supposed to mean?" cassie questioned.

"nothing. look, i gotta go and finish cleaning. i'll talk to you guys later."

olivia hung up the phone and heard beeping outside. she walked over to where the front windows were and shoved the curtain out of the way, seeing elliot and rue waiting in elliot's small gray car. she smiled and walked out the door, saving the messy house work for later.

i didn't know if it was a good idea to introduce liv to elliot. i knew it was kind of inevitable since me and liv were getting so close, but still. elliot was her type, and he wasn't good for either of us.

i knew that and still drug her in.

"dude. your house is so fucking confusing to find. they all look the same up here." elliot said, looking at liv through the rear view mirror. she sat in the back, rue sitting in the passengers seat and elliot driving.

"well, now you know mines the one with the insanely obnoxious naked guy statue fountain thing in the front yard." liv said, making rue laugh.

fucking rich people.

once the three got to elliot's house, the girls went inside and made themselves comfortable. it was the first time liv had been there, but elliot was a really sweet person who was good at making people feel welcome.

rue danced to the guitar elliot played, openly smoking a blunt and not caring where the smoke went. olivia layed by elliot, her head dangling upside down on the bed.

elliot looked at her as he played his guitar. he watched as she closed her eyes and listened, and he wondered what she was thinking about.

his thoughts were interrupted when rue sat down on the bed next to liv. she felt the indent and sat up.

rue got up and did a line.

then elliot did a line.

and olivia just watched.

elliot looked and saw her watching, and he handed her what he had used to snort the drugs. she shook her head, not taking it.

"i don't.." she said. elliot gave her a questioning look.

"really? you're friends with that..." he pointed towards rue, who was off dancing to the record player that was playing in the background in the corner.

"..and you don't do drugs?" he asked. liv chuckled and shook her head.

"maybe i will. i did have a pretty shitty day." she joked. rue stopped dancing and looked at her.

"why?" she asked.

olivia hesitated to elbatorate. she looked at elliot, and then back at rue.

"i found out fez cheated on me while we were together." she said. she hated to bring the mood down, but it would've seemed suspicious if she hadn't said anything at all.

"what?" rue asked, walking over and continuing to hit a blunt after just snorting a line. liv nodded.

"is fez your ex?" elliot asked. olivia, again, nodded.

"shit. well, here..you deserve it." rue said, handing liv the copy book they were snorting off of.

when she didn't take it right away, rue took the copy book and put it in liv's lap. she got up and continued to dance, and elliot scootched closer to liv's knees. he sat on the floor and looked up at her sitting on the bed.

"you don't have to, you know. rue doesn't care, she's in her own world right now." he assured.

liv looked down at the copy book. she did have a shit day.

and she did deserve it.

she grabbed elliot's hand and took the small white piece of paper from him, making sure it was securely rolled together. then, she brought it up to her nose, down to the white powder, and sniffed.

that was where i fucked up.

the three friends didn't know how much time had went by. they were all starting to come down from their high, slightly sobering up. liv nuzzled her head into rue's stomach as they layed on elliot's bed, him sitting on the floor with his back turned towards them. olivia could feel the vibrations in rue's body as she talked.

"you know, i feel like nobody in my life understands that, like, drugs are honestly the only way i can be myself." she confessed. elliot shook his head.

"i don't think that's true." he disagreed.

"no, it is true. like, when i first met you. i would have never had there balls to just, like, come up to you and talk to you." she said. elliot started to turn his head a little to look at her, and olivia just listened.

"why?" he asked.

"i'm just, like, a deeply shy person. and, like, with jules, right? like, when i first met her i was just...immedietly in love." she rambled.

"in love?" elliot wondered.

"when you say it out loud, it kind of sounds small." rue thought out loud. he shrugged.

"what's a bigger feeling than love?" he asked.

"loss." liv said, entering the conversation for the first time.

"you think?" elliot questioned, now turning to look at her. he readjusted himself so that he was sitting right in front of her, them making eye contact.

"i think so, too. yeah. i don't know. maybe that's what it was, right? like, as soon as i saw her i was just immedietly afraid to loose her." rue stated. she could feel liv's head turn on her stomach to look up at her. elliot continued to look at liv.

"who have you lost?" he asked her. he wanted to know why she said what she said.

"um...yeah, rue. who have you lost?" olivia asked, reverting things back to rue, even though she already knew the answer.

"my dad. cancer." rue said, getting straight to the point. she knew liv had diverted the conversation to her a little to quickly, and she, like elliot, wanted to know what liv was thinking.

"you?" elliot asked, hitting liv on the stomach with the tip of her finger to grab her attention. he clasped his hands back together in front of him immedietly.

"um...my parents." she answered, finally. rue looked down at the girl below her.

"what?" rue asked, not knowing about the situation.

olivia didn't want to tell anyone about her parents. she was embarrassed.

"they didn't die. they chose to leave me. just like my boyfriend. everyone's leaving me." liv said, staring at the ceiling. she was still high, higher than rue and elliot since it was her first time and she had no tolerance.

rue and elliot made eye contact, both of them feeling terrible for getting liv in the situation she was in right now. rue could feel a single tear fall down on her stomach, and it came from liv.

"do you think it's a good thing that we're all friends?" elliot asked, looking back at liv.

"yeah. why?" rue asked.

olivia wanted to bring her hand up to wipe her eyes, but her hands suddenly became too heavy to move.

"i just feel like we might not bring out the best in each other." he admitted.

rue looked down at liv, who closed her eyes and started falling asleep. she smiled, and looked back at elliot. suddenly, all of her guilt started to slip away.

"i feel like i'm okay with that."