baybee
bae
SEEN
dam you jus gon leave me on seen?

what silas im in class

baby are you still upset from this morning?

can you leave me alone

no
i love you
ik aaron is a dick
im sorry
i told him not to

but he still did it so obviously it didn't work
he hates me but alright

he doesn't hate you

lol

im sorry

stop apologizing

still :/
i feel guilty because now ur upset
and i want you happy

im fine baby

you sure?

yes

now tell me you love me back 😪

i love youuu

you better
did you take your meds today?

LMAOO NAH

YAMI

🧍🏽‍♀️

you gotta take them
its not optional

welll technically

no stfu
take them idc

no ❤️

bitch
i'll hold you down and shove them in your mouth
think im playin?

i'll throw them up

you better not istg

watch me
i dont like them

i'll put them in your drink

guess im going dehydrated 😋

😠 yami

anywayss
nate said hey

why are you talking to him
actually nah why is he talking to you

saw his raggedy ass at the gas station

im texting him to stay away from you

for what-

cause ion trust him
and hes weird

i think hes gay

idc i still dont want him near you

overprotective ass

and what about it?

nothing baby

good now pay attention to class

mf youre the one who texted ME

didn't ask ❤️

i hate you

i love you too

- - - -

- - - -

YAMIEK

6:30 pm

  It was around 6:30 that Jikika and I woke up from our afternoon naps. We always took one because sometimes we go days without sleeping or just forget, and by we I mean mostly me.

I had already told her about Nate's party and of course she was down because it gave her a chance to try out her new makeup palette on me, like always. She never really did it on herself, but always loved putting it on me.

"What are you wearing?" Kika asks from the couch in our room watching one of the animes Silas had recommended to her. They love watching anime and are slowly started getting me into it.

I walk over to her and sit in front of the couch where she was laying. "Honestly I haven't thought about it yet" , i mean it was the truth. I kinda forgot about it until a few minutes ago.
As I started rolling up a blunt she asks me another question.

"Does Silas know you're going?" She asks starting to play with my hair out of boredom.
I stayed concentrated trying not to fuck up the blunt, after being silent for a good 10 seconds I answered her.

"Nah..he told me to stay away from Nate this morning"

"Why?"

"I dont know, something about him being weird which he isn't wrong but still". I finished rolling and reached for the lighter that I swore was on the floor next to me."What the fuck.." I mumble to myself.

"Here" She says pulling a purple lighter from her pocket not breaking eye contact with the tv. "Thanks" I say and took it from her then sparked up the blunt. I took a few hits before passing it to Kika.

I don't remember how long we stayed like that just smoking and watching tv, but after the third blunt.. A BITCH WAS FADED THAN A HOE. However it was time to get ready.

"Yo, don't forget to text Rue, we're meeting her by the library."

"Hurd" Jikika said back pulling out her phone from her hoodie pocket. I was once again starring at the clothes in my closet trying to figure out what I was going to wear.

Chosing the first thing I saw was a plaid red and navy blue dress, and a white t shirt. "Should i?" I think about it while talking to myself, "Yes? No? Yesss??...or noo?"

"YES!" Jikika yelled

I nod my head in agreement,"Yes". The outfit was actually bomb I just needed some shoes now.

Knowing it was Nate Jacobs party I picked some beat up forces cause what do I look like
stepping in puke?

Jikika had on cute ripped jeans and a red bralette with black forces cause that bitch scary. "Those are cute jeans" I say sitting on the floor doing my hair.

"You're cute jeans" Kika replies back, "you want glitter?"

"Sí"

"You gonna have to put on ya own lashes girlfriend" She tells me laughing

I laugh with her putting my hair half up half down, "yeah i figured that one." Finishing up I turned to her on the floor, "Alright, make me beautiful"

"Bitch you're already beautiful we're just.." She stops and tapping the end of the makeup brush on her chin as she thought of the right word, "enhancing it"

I roll my eyes as she continues to do my makeup, "Liar and yo breath stink"

"Yo daddy breath stink"

"My daddy is your daddy hoe"

"...Shit true"

"Speaking of which where is his ghetto ass" I ask remembering he wasn't home this morning when we left and definitely wasn't home when we got back from school. "Your guess is just as good as mine" She shrugs moving on to the next eye.

"He keep acting like he grown and pay the bills in this bitch" Jikika adds letting a small laugh out. "Right nigga always gone doing something, bout to give his ass a curfew" I joke with her

9:36 pm

"Where she say to meet her at again?" I ask my best friend but more like sister as we walked down the street. It had already gotten semi dark, and we have yet to find Rue.

"RUEEEE" Jikika yells while we make it down the storage garages. We did this a few times before we heard the mockingjay call from the Hunger Games. Turning around there was Rue jogging to catch up to us.

"Hey guys" She says smiling as if she didn't keep us looking for her like Where's Waldo. "I outta punch you in the neck the way you had us looking for you, and NOT answering your phone" I say acting fake mad

"I apologize my loveee" She sings putting her arm around me grabbing my face attacking me with kisses. "Yall are so ugly" Jakika says

"Oh you thought I forgot about you? Come here baby you know I saved the best for last" Rue says holding her arms walking to Jikika causing her to move away.

"Back up hoe" Kika laughs karate chopping her arms about to run away but Rue caught her and gave her a tight hug and kiss on the cheek. "HA!" Rue yells

"Yuck" Jikika scrunches up her face wiping off her cheek, "cooties"

"Come come Yami" Rue says holding her hand out for me while we all walk together. It took a while to get to Nate's because we kept playing around but once we finally did the part was already good and going.

Walking up to the house you had people chilling and talking outside, some already passed out in the grass, but going in was a whole different ball game. You had the hallway hoes, the livingroom jocks and then the people in the backyard.

"Where should we start first?" I ask still holding Rue's hand. "KITCHEN!" Jikika yells grabbing Rue's hand as she led us through the sea full of people to get to the kitchen.

I've been to Nates house plenty of times for parties, so I basically know the whole layout by now.

"Well look who it is"

"Wussup Mckay" Jikika says daping him up.

"Wussgud Ika" He said dapping her up back then looked over at me, "You look good Yami."

"Thanks" I nod smiling slight while Rue is already making us drinks not giving a fuck about Chris. Things between me and him were como se díce.. awkward. We used to date before I got together with Silas and he started messing with Cassie. It wasn't a bad breakup we just drifted apart.

"Give this to your sister" Rue says passing me a cup. Taking a sip I damn near flatlined on the spot from the amount of vodka you could taste in it. "Damn Rue tryna kill niggas?" I cough handing the solo cup to Jikika, "take this shit bro"

"It cant be that bad" She says taking a big drink of it before almost spitting it out.

"Told you"

"How much you out in here Rue?" Jiki asks looking at Rue who passed me my drink. "Imma be real...I dont even know" She laughs causing me to laugh shaking my head.

"Congrats on rehab Rue" Mckay says

Damn I forgot he was still here. "Thanks" She says getting slightly awkward. "Aye imma go talk to that cute guy over there. I'll be back laterrr" Jikika winks at us before leaving the kitchen.

"Well yall enjoy the party I gotta go find cassie" Mckay says before leaving the kitchen leaving and Rue together. She looked around for people then hit my arm, "Dude fez got me some good shit, you wanna try it?"

Now, a good responsible friend would be mad that their friend who just overdosed and came back from rehab is still doing those drugs that almost killed her. However, I'm no better than she was so of course I said, "hell yeah bitch I thought you would never ask"

"Bet come on" She smirked leading me upstairs to the bathroom that looked like everyone had forgotten about. Rue closed and locked the door behind her then pulls out a small baggy and her house key.

"Bitchh" My eyes widen looking at her. Instantly I got excited bouncing up and down waiting for her to pass me the bag and key.

Rue sniffed wiping her nose, "Damn it never gets better." She passed it to me and I copied her movements. This wasn't my first time doing coke and it wouldn't be my last.

I sniffed the power and almost sneezed from the feeling. It tickled but I held my composure giving the drugs back to Rue, and we walked out of the bathroom like nothing happened. I didn't really feel anything until we started going down the stairs and then thats when it kicked in.

"Who the fuck made the stairs slanted" I say holding onto the railing and rues arm. "Shit I dont know but they should be fired" She mumbles. We make it down the stairs without falling and I hear this thumping.

"Bro do you hear that?" Rue asks me

"What is it?" I ask looking around

It takes a moment for us to process what it was, but when we did we snapped our heads to look at one another and smiled, "Music".

"Come on come on!!" Rue smiles grabbing my hand as we stumble back and forth to the living room where the music was. It sounded so good that I instantly started dancing. I didn't care who saw or who was around me, I felt like I was on Dance with the Stars at this moment. Me and Rue were killing it doing our own thing.

For the next four hours Rue and I would go back and forth from the bathroom to the living room, more coke meant more dancing. I forgot which round it was maybe the third round from the bathroom Jikika came back and joined us. Now all of us were dancing.
We made a limbo line at one point too.

I was having the time of my life laughing and dancing like my life depended on it but realization hit and noticed I had to pee. It seemed like throughout the night the music got louder, I could feel the base thumping in my body, it felt like I was a tree swaying in the wind from how loose my body felt.

"HEY!" I yell tapping Jikika on the sholder. She turns around giggling still dancing, "HEYY BOO" Kika giggles smiling grabbing my hands making me dance with her.

"I HAVE TO GO PEE I'LL BE BACK" 

She frowns hearing me say this, "AWWH. WELL COME RIGHT BACK AFTER OKAY?"

I smile nodding then laughing because it felt like I had a bobble head, "DUUUHHH." Turning around I left the living room talking to random people on the way taking sips of their drinks as they would offer me some on the way to the bathroom.

Horrible idea! Do not try this at home.

By the time I got there I had to pee so bad I thought I wasn't going to make it, but by the grace of god I practically threw myself into the bathroom. I slammed the door shut and headed to the toilet. "Finally.." I sighed feeling the heavy weight on my bladder lift up and return back to normal.

I giggled thinking about how I could of almost pissed myself if i wasn't quicker. The more I thought about it the funnier it got to the point where I was cracking up still sitting on the toilet.

"Alright bitch its not that funny" I cough trying to make myself stop laughing. It worked a little as I flushed the toilet, then washing my hands. I realized I had my pen with me and took a small hit before walking back out.

On my way back to the living room I bumped into someone making me slam into the wall forcefully. "Fuck" I mumbled, the pain in my arm shot through my whole body casing me hold my arm. While rubbing my now crippled arm, I looked at who had ran into.

"Yami?"

oh shit

shit shit shit

"Aaronn..wussup?" I say looking at him knowing I was in deep shit. He looked at me realizing Silas isn't here and immediately grined. "Wheres Silas?" Aaron asked

"Home" I said quickly

"Mmhm..does he know youre here?"

"Not necessarily.."

He nods, "Well have fun" was all he said before walking away. "Okay..weirdo" I give him a weird look before walking my way back to the living room finally dancing with my friends again.

2:12 am

I was having the time of my life singing and dancing with Rue and Jikika in my own world so I was startled when I felt someone pull my arm.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" I snap around but froze after seeing who it was. Everything felt like went slow for a moment before i seen a more than angry Silas standing in front of me. "Baby.." I start but he shakes his head and pulls me away from the living room.

We made it down the hallway and to the door before I realized we were leaving, which wasn't something I didn't want to do. Snatching my arm back from him he turns back around. "Yami lets go" He said sternly.

"Stoppp" I whine, I wanna stay"

Bitch my ass was swaying in wind unable to fully balance myself. My boyfriend watched me move side to side before shaking his head grabbing my hand again, "We're leaving now"

"No" I disagree staying where I was.

"What?" Silas turns around looking at me getting more frustrated by the minute. I roll my eyes,"Stop ruining my fun bro, I'm just tryna live mane" I said as I closing my eyes still hearing the faint music.

Silas stares at me for a few seconds before saying, "Yeah no, we're going to my house" He grabbed me again, but wasn't having it. I started fighting back yelling at him saying I hated him.

"Hate me later we're going home" Was all he said before picking me and putting me in his car, buckling me up then closing the door. My boyfriend walked around to the driver side and got in doing the same.

To say I was angry was an understatement, I was pissed to the point where I just cried. I silently let the warm tears fall down my face as I started clinching my jaw.

"Amor why are you crying" Silas looked at me while driving off. I was silent with the tears still falling down my face, in that moment I split making me hate him with every ounce in my body.He ruined my fun and happiness.

"Talk to me" He says touching my hand but I quickly pulled it away from him. "I fucking hate you" I said looking out the passenger side window.

Silas knew it knew better to believe what I said was true and it was whatever drug I was on talking mixed with my BPD. Though, doesn't mean it still didn't hurt.

"You dont mean it, you can't even look me in the eye and say it." and he was right, I couldn't.

"Can you stop talking?" I asked while rasinh my voice at him.

The next ten minutes were silent until we pulled up to his house. Once again Silas helped me out because I was at the point to where I was just stumbling. He picked me up carrying me to the basement where his room was and set me down on the bed. It was one of those cool fully finished basements, boujee right?

My makeup was more than ruined, lashes crooked, eyeshadow smeared, eyeliner smudge, mascara down my face. I looked like a hot mess. Silas picked out of one his shirts for me throwing it next to me on the bed before standing in front of me grabbing my face lightly to look at him.

"I'm sorry the way I acted baby. Did i hurt you?" He asked checking my face and body for any bruises or scratches that he could have caused.

I shook my head 'no' and he nodded. "I just got upset when Aaron told me you were at Nates party and you didn't tell me you were going. I didnt want something to happen to you and I wouldn't be there to protect you"

Hearing this made me feel like shit. I freaked out on him and was a bitch. "I'm sorry" I apologize feeling guilt come over me. Silas kisses me on the cheek handing me the shirt, "You're okay baby, go wash up then we can go to sleep"