SɪYᴇᴏɴ PᴏV

★one week later★

I looked up as Minji sneezed. "Bless you," I said.

"Thanks." She made a thoughtful face and shifted in her desk chair while chewing on her pencil.

"Tell me," she began and I closed the book she had given me. "What is nothing?"

I frowned and said nothing.

She looked at me out of the corner of her eye and grinned. Then she put down the pencil.

"Why do not you help me? I don't understand this stupid task and you're already finished for half an hour."

I just shrugged my shoulders and opened my book to continue reading.

"Not very helpful," Minji mumbled. She had started chewing on her pencil again.

it was Friday. Nothing really happened this week. Just the usual hassles with Yeonjung.

Minji had had two more nightmares and I hardly slept.

What was most important was that I had inadvertently gotten a little closer to Minji. It bothered me and I was afraid to reconnect with someone, but what should I do?

She left me no other choice. I got the feeling she wouldn't even let me go to the toilet by myself because I could drown myself in the toilet bowl. Or in the sink.

I was startled by a clatter and looked at Minji.

She sat in her chair with an angry face. Did she just throw her pencil against the wall?

She sighed in frustration and clenched her fist.

"I feel so stupid right now," she said. "The task is so simple, but I just don't understand it! Can you believe it?"

I put the book aside, went over to her and picked up the pencil. I looked at her sheet, which was full of doodles.

"Will you finally help me?" Minji asked hopefully.

"Maybe," I replied, taking an eraser and erasing the scribble.

Minji looked over my shoulder. I bent down and wrote three sentences on the sheet.

Then I put the pencil down and went back to my book.

"Really?" she said in disbelief. "Wow, now I feel even more stupid." She studied her paper. "Right, makes sense."

I turned the page. She said nothing.

I turned the page again. Still silence.

It wasn't until I turned the page the third time that Minji said, "Thank you, Siyeon."

"No problem."

She packed up her stuff, stood up and stretched.

Hands on hips, she asked, "So what are we going to do all weekend?"

I shrugged my shoulders again.

She sighed and suddenly flopped face first onto her bed, where she lay sprawled like a starfish.

I read on. She turned and stared at the ceiling.

"Do you already know the new song by Dreancatcger?"

"By who?" I looked at her. She straightened up and made a shocked face.

"You do not know them?"

"No."

"We have to change that." She picked up her cell phone.

I closed the book with a sigh.

"Here," she said, "this is her latest song, PILI."

And so it went for another whole hour, she showed me Catch Me, Bad Day, Fall down, ME&I, That and PILI and listed all the most important reasons, in her opinion, why you have to like them.

She even said that member JiA looked a lot like her and so on.

I listened to her patiently but was still glad when she finished.

"And?" Minji asked, sounding curious. "How do you like them?"

"They're good," I said, but that was enough for her to ramble on about how and why they were so great for another half hour.

"I have ALL their albums too!" She got up and went to her shelf. "Here," she pulled out a white album.

"This is her first album, Daydream.
Daydream: Awake in the Wall.
Sequel.
Daydream: Stuck in the ERA.
Crowd in the field.
And the newest: End of Daydream."

She took the CD out of the last one and put it in her radio.

As the music played quietly across the room, I continued reading my book and Minji sat on her bed doing something on her cell phone.

"We're home alone," she remarked after a while.

"Hm."

"Why don't we do something?"

I looked up and eyed her. She was still looking at her phone and didn't seem to notice my gaze.

She was still in her school uniform and I had to admit she looked pretty good in it.

Stop it, brain, I thought, and then said, "Suggest something."

"We can go shopping," Minji replied, still looking at her phone. "You're still wearing my stuff."

I looked down at the floor in embarrassment and suddenly felt a strange fear that I knew was absurd, but it was there.

I also knew it was necessary to have my own clothes, but I was still afraid he might see me. And I had no money. Who would pay?

"What do you think, Miss Lee?"

I looked up and was startled when Minji suddenly stood right in front of me and held a hairbrush in front of my face as a microphone.

She looked at me completely seriously.

I almost forgot she expected me to answer and just stared back. She cleared her throat and I woke from my rigid state.

"II don't have any money," I mumbled.

"I do. So?"

"Erm-"

"Great. I just have to put on the right clothes and then we can start right away."

Immediately she threw the brush on her bed, went to the closet and opened it.

"Hmm," she said, taking out a beige blouse. "How about that? Along with this one?" She held a black collared sweater next to it and looked at me expectantly.

I just shrugged my shoulders.

She sighed and put the things back.

"Shall we just stay at home today and do that tomorrow?"

I nodded.

"Okay," Minji said. "And what we do?"

I hunched my shoulders again. She sat down on her bed.

"Let's watch a mo-" She was interrupted by her cell phone ringing.

With a sigh she took it, looked at it briefly and answered it. I continued reading my book.

"Now?" Minji asked. "Alone? In the park? Okay, give me half an hour and I'll be there."

She hung up and sighed again, then got up, went to her closet and pulled out the blouse, collared sweater and pair of jeans.

I looked up questioningly.

"Don't worry," Minji said while closing her closet again, "It's just Seungjoon. He wants to meet me at the park. I'm sorry, I would have liked to do something with you, but... It sounded important."

Her boyfriend. Of course. How could I forget him? A bit disappointed, I said, "It's fine. I-I will just keep reading."

She smiled slightly. "Thanks. I hope you're not mad at me."

I just shook my head at that.

"Good. I'm just going to get ready." She left the room.

I continued reading until Minji came back in and looked up.

It almost took my breath away when I saw her. That might sound like an exaggeration - but it was true. She looked stunning.

The blouse and collared sweater matched better than I thought and I could tell she was wearing light makeup. Her long hair was braided into a simple ponytail.

Realizing I was looking at her longer than I should, I bowed my head in embarrassment and stared at the pages in the book.

"Well... I'll go then. Feel free to do what you want, you're on your own then. But please don't do anything stupid, okay?"

I knew what she meant and nodded.

"Good. Well, then I'll be gone. In case something should be -" She seemed to think about it.

"Here," she said, holding out her cell phone, "it doesn't have a PIN, if anything, just call Seungjoon, okay?"

I just stared at the phone. Did she seriously give it to me voluntarily? Since there was no point in arguing with her, I nodded and she put it on the back of the chair.

"Ciao," she said, patting my head, "it shouldn't take too long."

I nodded again, then she left.

And I was alone yet again.

It was a familiar feeling for me, but over the last week I'd gotten used to Minji's constant presence and it felt weird.

I tried to ignore it and continued reading my book.

MɪɴJɪ PᴏV

With a queasy feeling I left the house and headed towards the city park.

I felt uncomfortable leaving Siyeon at home alone, but Seungjoon sounded urgent.

I hadn't told the other girl that I broke up with him, so she would think it was a normal date. And that was probably a good thing.

I decided not to worry about that for now and checked my watch since I didn't have my phone with me.

The next bus at the closest stop would be in three minutes, so I made a detour there. It would go faster, even if it was only one station.

When I got off at the city park stop, I looked around. Seungjoon said he wanted to meet me here but didn't say where exactly.

So I slowly strolled to the park and sat down on a bench.

Just a few minutes later, I saw Seungjoon coming towards me and stood up. He stopped just in front of me.

"You're already here," he stated.

"You wanted to see me?" I replied.

He nodded.

"Shall we walk a little together?" he asked.

"Sure, why not."

We walked side by side in silence for a while. That bothered me, so I linked my arm with him and grinned widely.

"Will you buy me an ice cream?" I asked when I saw an ice cream truck.

"Don't you have your own money with you?" Seungjoon looked away.

"No," I simply said. "Sorry."

He slipped me a coin. "Bring me one too."

"Thanks!" I took the coin and ran to the ice cream truck, where there was a small line.

Mothers and fathers who were waiting there with their young children gave me strange looks as if I were an alien.

When it was finally my turn, I bought a scoop of strawberry ice cream for myself and pistachio ice cream for Seungjoon.

I went back to him and gave him the ice cream. He thanked me and we walked on in silence.

Seungjoon finished before me and put his hands in his jacket pockets. When I was done, he stopped and I did the same.

"Is something?" I asked.

"Minji, I..." he started and seemed to consider, "I don't know how to tell you this."

"As it is."

He was silent for a moment. Then he looked me straight in the eyes.

"I miss you Minji."

"How do you mean that? We see each other every day."

Seungjoon shook his head.

"I don't mean that," he contradicted. "I miss you. The way you looked when you saw me. How you looked when you saw how much the bill was in the café or where you saw how much I eat. In the evening in front of the TV, how we cuddled. Every day we just sat at home and talked. Even your look when you were angry and called me a fool for screwing up again. Your smile, the comfort you always gave me when I was sad... I can't believe this is all over now, Minji."

He was still looking into my eyes and I could tell he meant it. I looked down.

"I'm sorry Seungjoon. I... I don't know what else to say..."

"It's okay," he said, but I could tell he was lying.
"I'll have to live with the fact that you won't reciprocate my feelings anymore... It'll be fine."
He looked away, but I had already seen the tear.

I took two steps towards Seungjoon and wrapped my arms around him, which he probably didn't expect.

He returned the gesture and I laid my head on his shoulder.

"Do you think we can still be friends?" he asked.

I took my time to answer before saying:
"I dont know. Do you want it?

"Yes, Minji, I want it. I don't want to lose you completely... And if we're not together, then at least as friends."

"Okay, then... Then we're friends."

"Thank you," he said. "It's a huge step backwards, but I'd rather that than hate each other."

I smiled, but I couldn't help a tear from falling down my cheek. I hugged him tighter.

"Me too."

We stayed like that for a while until Seungjoon broke away from me. I took a step back and looked at him.

He reached up and wiped the tear from my cheek.

"Friends," he murmured, sounding sad. I smiled lightly.

Sorry," I replied.

"You can not help it."

"I'm hungry."

Seungjoon looked at me reproachfully.

"Oh, Minji," he said. "You haven't changed a bit." He chuckled at the sentence. "I know a good coffee shop nearby. The cakes there are unbeatable."

"Well then, let's go!"

He laughed. "I could use something too. Haven't eaten in two hours."

"You're the only one who can compete with me on the subject of food," I remarked. "At our first meeting I ate less, but later realized that it wasn't necessary. You must have eaten three times as much as me. That you haven't gotten fat yet."

He scratched the back of his head in embarrassment and mumbled something about "gym".

I linked my arm with him and he led me to the cafe.

As for the cakes, Seungjoon wasn't exaggerating one bit. In fact, they were so good I ordered my fourth in a row while he was on his second.

He was watching me the whole time, but I was too focused on the food to notice. When I realized it, I stopped eating.

"I'm hungry," I defended myself, even though his gaze wasn't judgmental at all.

"It wasn't meant that way," he said, surprised. "You look cute when you eat. But I recommend that you keep your mouth shut when chewing."

I blushed and looked down at my plate in embarrassment.

"Sorry."

"That was just a tip. Meant zero percent bad."

He laughed when I carefully kept my mouth shut over my next piece of cake and shook his head.

He mumbled something I didn't catch and I looked up. "Hm?"

"I was talking to myself," he said, and continued to eat, lost in thought.

"Okay."

After we were both full, Seungjoon accompanied me to my front door. It was already getting dark.

"Is Siyeon actually still with you?" he asked.

"Yes why?"

"Just because," he said and smiled.

We were silent for a moment.

"May I ask you something?"

"Always."

"If you don't want it or you feel uncomfortable about it, tell me, okay?"

What was he getting at? I nodded.

He hesitated for a moment, seeming to consider what to say. He cleared his throat.

"May- may I... kiss you one last time?" He bit his lower lip.

I stared at him with wide eyes.

"For what reason?"

He looked away. "I don't know... I just... I'm sorry. I-I shouldn't have asked..."

"No, it's okay..."

I felt transported back to the moment three years ago when he had asked if he could kiss me.

I remembered he was wearing the same hoodie he was wearing today. Conicidence?

At the time, I was only too happy to say yes, but now I didn't know how to react.

Jumping into his arms beaming with joy, rejecting him, saying yes quite normally?

"Forget the question... I'll just go home and wallow in self-pity," Seungjoon said, turning away, but I grabbed his wrist.

He looked at me confused. I decided to take the risk.

So I took a step closer, took his face in my hands and kissed him on the lips.

I was shocked at how little I felt about it. I'm only doing this to make him feel good, I told myself, I don't have to feel anything...

Seungjoon froze for a moment, then he kissed back and I felt even worse as he definitely felt something about it. Though it was only a few seconds, it felt like an eternity as he pulled away from me.

He just looked at me for a moment, then hugged me.

"I'll miss you, Minji... I already do," he whispered.

"I'm sorry..." I mumbled.

"You don't have to be sorry..." He took a step back and smiled ruefully at me.

"I'll see you on Monday then... sleep well, have a nice weekend with Siyeon and all those things they say."

"You too," I said. "See you Monday..."

I watched him disappear around the next corner and sighed.

What kind of person am I? I didn't deserve him... I never deserved him.

I turned to my house and unlocked the front door where I was greeted by an excited bark from a small dog and smiled.