пятнадцать. into the bitter end
" the real valentizina "

I WASN'T EVER ONE TO ADMIT DEFEAT. It's not that complicated, I never truly felt defeat. I always won. I completed my missions, I de-attached myself when I needed to. It was always easy for me. I never had anything to lose, nothing to fight for but myself. And then I grew tired of having nothing. And I got this job. I got a family. I ran from my past, from a life I didn't want. But it seems like fate decided I was done running from who I was. Fate brought me to be tied in a chair, a camera pointed at me, with the feeling of cold fingers running against my exposed skin from the shirt dress I had chosen to wear.

I have hunted for less. Killed for more. But never have I hunted with this much pleasure. And I will admit that. I'm done running from my past. I know who I am. What I've done. Where I stand in society. And it sure isn't in a locked room under threat.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you... My best work yet."

The sack over my head only allowed me to see soft silhouettes, but her words confirmed my suspicions of the camera.

"Yet I suppose, the only one's watching are those who need the truth. Dr Spencer Reid however, was always smarter than all of you. One step ahead, he knew everything. Held her dirty little secrets. So I'm going to save him the pain."

Great. Now she has them captured. I wasn't sure how, but I had suspicions. Fighting a group was a lot easier than one person, the more you know. A group is clumsy - they get into each other's way, and when half of the BAU team weren't made out for fighting, it was an easy fight for them to lose. That's why they had me.

"Valentizina Alianovna."

The sack was ripped off my head, revealing, well, me. I saw myself in the viewfinder. Sadistic technique. She wanted to see me in pain. She wanted to see me suffer for the crimes that I've committed against her. I saw the bleeding on the side of my pounding temple, my black eye from the other day, the scars that ran down my arms from all my past fights. And I gave her what she wanted, my full attention to look back at my past. I sat, a blank stare on my face as I was faced with my past.

"A cold-blooded killer. A spy. An assassin. Trained in the depths of my academy, she became the best there was. Killed over hundreds. A gifted individual with a specific skill set she got from me. It was all me. She also really likes ballet! And who would have guessed! She's flawless at it because I taught her. And how did she repay me? She ran away. To the FBI. She attempted to run from the past. She always did run. And look where that got her. Back to me."

The scraping of a metal knife made me almost cringe, but as the sharp ring of it being picked up sounded out, it was followed by her wicked laugh.

"I can not believe that she slipped past you, Hotchner. But I suppose she was always a good liar. She's a spy, it's what she's best at. She could tell you the impossible and make you believe in it. You should really do your research. You never know whose going to back-stab you next."

I felt the tip of the blade against my shoulder, as she dug deeper, slowly slicing down, making me grit my jaw. But I showed no sign of defeat. I was going to let her defeat me. Not Nadia. Not now. Never.

"And now, your trust in her is gone. She has nothing now. So I'll make it easier for her. I'll kill her, once I have my fun in hurting her, to get my revenge for her hurting me. Little soldier, give them a smile."

"Aaron Hotchner never trusted me. None of them did."

I chose my words carefully, staring directly into the camera. The knife had stopped slicing my skin open, as instead she froze, a glare burning into the side of my head - I felt it.

"I didn't have a past, not to them. I wasn't trusted, but he showed me leniency. Because he respected me. He gave me a chance. You never got respect. I got everything you want because you made me into something you wished to be."

Her fist collided with my cheek, making my head fly to the side. But that didn't stop me, you see? I loved this. This was what I was born for. And I say this once more with chest - I've hunted for less, killed for more, but never with as much pleasure.

"Aaron Hotchner saw the will to conquer my fears without doubting myself in me. I didn't back down. I wasn't a coward. You always had that. Fear. That's why you haven't pulled the trigger yet. You don't want to let me go. I pity you, you wasted your whole life trying to be a somebody and ended up a nobody, so you thought by making me, you would be known to greater than me. The creator. You wanted to be someone, but that's never going to happen."

Her hand gripped my hair, pulling me back in the chair. It balanced on two legs as she grabbed the gun from the table, placing it against the back of my head.

"Keep talking! We'll see what happens, you-"

"We'll see what happens? And what will happen, huh? You kill me, then what? They sing you praises? They'll write your story? You don't have a story, Nadia. You're simply a footnote in mine."

I retreat into my memories. Far and deep. I remember everything. Everything I've been through. The attempts of trying to start a new life, the killings, the torture. What I put myself and others through for Nadia.

"I am Valentizina Alianovna. I spent so long running. I was afraid of my own shadow but not anymore. After all this, I am still me. Who I am can't be erased - destroyed. I have survived far worse than this!"

She let me go, yet the gun remained attached to my head as I stared into the lense of the camera.

"You words are irrelevant to me, Nadia. I don't need to trust anyone if I have trust in myself. I have been here many times before."

The pain reminds me that I am alive. I'm not afraid. But as my mind goes back to everything that got took away from me, I began to feel the anger that was always there. The rage.

"I am through being a plaything. A pawn. I was made in a place like this. I will not die in the hands of a coward who made me for their pleasure. I remember. I thrive. I am Valentizina Alianovna."

I was done running from my past.

"I'm done running from my past. So take me for who I am, because not even death can take that away from me."

As I jump up, the chair leg collided with Nadia's toe, the woman groaning and slightly crouching down, enough for the back of my forehead to collide with her forehead.

And a smile makes way on my face.

The show goes on. Right?

"Can we have a bit of music?" I suggested jokingly, as I lean forward and use my strength to jump up on the chair, falling back, toppling over Nadia who I fell upon. The wooden chair had snapped into bits, the ropes around me loosening enough for me to slip out.

"Tie the legs next time!"

My comment was replied to with a groan. But I kicked my leg towards the radio, turning on the radio, the sound of 'Killer Queen' by Queen sounding out.

Ironic.

But I rolled to the side, slipping out the ropes before she stumbled back up, swinging her leg at my head, but I caught her leg, probably a bad idea because it got her to jump up, flipping herself in the air, taking me with her as I fell onto the ground.

So old woman could still fight. Shit.

Jumping right back up from a gymnastic bridge position, I charged at her once more, wasting no time in catching the punch she sent my way. My eyes flickered to the gun in her free hand , causing me to immediately leap in the air, flipping myself as I landed on her shoulder, my legs twisting around her body as I kicked the gun out of her hand, disarming the woman, letting the gun fly up in the air high enough for me to catch it with one hand before I flipped us both over, slamming her onto the ground, aiming the gun at her head.

My hand wrapped around her neck.

"I fell into your trap because I made a deal to protect them. And I made a promise that I'll kill you if you touched them. I keep my promises."

"Funny," she choked out, "Because you don't even know where they are."

"Is this thing on? Hello- hey- hi! Hi! Wait can you hear me!"

A chirpy voice filled the air, making me immediately look towards the laptop in a state of shock at the familiarity of the voice.

"Come on Nadia," my voice lowly chuckled, "A laptop and you didn't even bother encrypting the IP address? You made this too easy."

"Red riding hood's right! You are kind of bad at this."

Penelope Garcia herself.

With a smirk, I looked at the curly headed blonde's face that popped up, the FBI team all surrounding her.

"Turns out, Valentine, Derek took notes form your fighting. Got us out. You also forgot to tie our legs up. Wait! Valentine! You're blonde!"

Oh Penelope...

"I'm in... Uh... The BAU. A group of profilers."

Spencer Reid.

My Spencer Reid.

My lips parted at the sight of him, looking over him. The jawline. The cheekbones. The puppy dog, doe, brown-eyes. The messy, short hair...

He awkwardly spoke, with a chuckle as he watched her intently. But I saw his eyes. They were glossy with tears, his lip quivering in a way I'd never seen.

What was he doing?

"We overlook everything, use psychology to catch the bad guys. We can tell who the good guys are from the bad guys. Valentine is, on paper, a bad guy. A killer. A murderer."

Nadia smirked, narrowing her eyes at me. I didn't feel it, or think it, but my grip grew lose. I wasn't sure what the empty feeling in my stomach was exactly. Disappointment... Sadness... Just a pit of void. Until he opened his mouth to speak once more.

Suddenly, I felt the gun leave my hand as she flipped my over, holding me down my neck, making me choke, a groan trying to escape my throat. Spencer jumped, watching as the gun pointed at me, but he never stopped speaking. Nadia's head flew behind her at the laptop screen, watching the frightened man.

"But she never did it for herself. She did it to satisfy you. She did it to save us. To protect people around her. She's no different than me, Nadia. No different than Derek Morgan. Jennifer Jareau. Elle Greenaway. Emily Fields. Aaron Hotchner. Jason Gideon. She did it for the good of others."

"Oh, lover boy," she cooed, "Her first love. Maybe her last. Her guardian angel. And I am to guess you were the one who figured out she was in danger? God, I knew I should have killed you before. You forgave too easy. Too oblivious to-"

"You can pull the trigger on Valentine if you wish, Nadia. But it will never erase who you are. A coward."

Reid's words ran cold. Like a shot running through warm blood, it sent chills up Nadia's skin.

"Is that coming from Dr Reid, or just the man who's in love with something that can't be fixed?"

His question made Spencer, grow quiet.

Spencer Reid wasn't the type to always be confident. He was a little awkward, he often spluttered his words out without thinking twice about what he was saying. But Spencer Reid would always protect those he loved. When it came to protecting his loved ones, he would take a thousand bullets over and over again for them to be safe. That's just the type of person Spencer Reid was.

I had saw it before.

The woman began shaking, causing Spencer who had joined along to the scene to immediately grab her hand, never losing eye contact.

Yet Cassy looked at Valentizina and Hotch, speaking quietly with a metal latch in her hand.

Valentizina wasn't really paying attention, her full attention pointed towards Spencer.

He was the bravest out of everyone here. Braver than Valentizina and she knew that. She was nothing more than a coward. She watched the way Spencer wouldn't leave the woman's side. They had tried to pry him off her, yet he didn't give in. He wouldn't leave her. Reid knew Dr Brasier was terrified, hell he felt the fear that she had within her and he wasn't going to let go until she was safe.

He was risking his life for a stranger.

That's what made him brave.

Because Valentizina wouldn't even risk her life for Spencer, the man who would die for anyone in a heartbeat.

She was snapped out of her thoughts by Cassy and Hotch making their way.

Yet she was frozen, as if she couldn't do anything.

She envied Spencer Reid in every way possible.

She watched the way, Cassy slid the latch underneath the seat, feeling the bomb.

And out the bomb came, causing Dr Brasier to immediately get out the car, attacking Spencer Reid in a tight hug. She watched the way Reid returned the grip, rubbing her back up and down in a comforting manner.

Yet the redhead looked down, breathing in before she looked back up.

Yet all of the sudden, the sound of something falling around her made her furrow her brows, looking around. But it was Spencer Reid whose eyes squinted at the tiny, tiny ball that had slipped beneath Valentizina's heel. His eyes immediately widened, his body sprinting towards the redhead who was confused.

"Valentine!" he yelled, his arms immediately wrapping around the much smaller girl. Her breath hitched at the sudden contact as they both fell onto the floor, rolling away slightly.

But suddenly, a loud explosion immediately erupted in the midst of the car park. Right where Valentizina had once stood. The strawberry-blonde agent's mouth fell wide open in shock, struggling to breathe in disturbance. It was a bolt of the blue moment, one that put her into a great amount of shock. Her hand immediately gripped Spencer shirt as the two bolted upright, sitting up. His arm had wrapped around her shoulder, his other hand holding hers that gripped his shirt. And her other hand had found itself to be wrapped around his waist.

And he sweared he had never seen Valentizina in that much shock. Her chest was heaving up and down in shock, mouth wide open from the rude-awakening.

His eyes dropped down from the explosion that the firefighters immediately sprinted over to, down to Valentizina whose eyes finally jumped to look up at him.

The day Spencer Reid risked his life for me, someone who'd never do it for him, I knew Spencer was more than just a profiler. He was just a good man.

"Both," his voice echoed.

"Not good enough."

Bang!

I grunted as the wooden stake plunged into her back, sending a chilling gasp to leave Nadia's throat. I let out a painful, groan-like yell as I felt the bullet swim down my stomach.

The metal weapon fell to the floor with a clink, her body swaying from side to side. I rolled to the side, away from Nadia's grip. A thud echoed through the walls of the spacious room, as the body fell on its back, the stake digging itself deeper.

She was dead. Blood oozing out from her mouth, from the wound...

But I crawled towards the wall, panting.

"Valentine!" Spencer yelled, immediately reacting with Morgan, both of them sprinting. However I didn't see that. I wasn't sure I was seeing anything at that point, as my vision grew blurrier. The agony I was in didn't compare to the last, I've been through worse. I can't let myself die like this. Not like this.

But fate had other plans, I believed.

It didn't take long for the door to be busted down, falling beside me before two figures appeared before me. But it was Spencer Reid that entered my blurry sight first. It seemed that some senses in me were still working, as I smelt the cologne that I had became familiar with before I left, and I still felt his warm touch of his hand against my cheeks.

"Valentine! Stay with us, come on, Val-"

"You need s-someone better. Leave."

My instructions were clear. My voice was just barely above a whisper, my eyes fluttering shut slowly.

"No. No I'm not-"

"You h-have to l-let me go. For me. It's o-okay. Let me go."

"No!"

"It's o-okay. Let me go."

I wanted to stay awake. I really did. I wanted to stay alive. But I guess whatever God was up there thought it was my time. So he decided to let me go too.

Into the bitter end.