It was blurry. The memory violated every brain cell. Feeling like a lobotomy. Sharp pain clouded around my head. Still, I saw it.

There I was. Crying. Kicking. Wailing. I remember how every part of me felt as if I was on fire as I was dragged away. All the way down a hallway. A blonde woman strode behind us, her heels clicking against the tile. She wore all white but seemed far from an angel. The environment was sterile, giving off a faint smell of bleach.

"Don't put me in the room! Please! I'll be good!" I cried, clawing around at anything I could. The man lugging me away unlatched the door we reached far too soon. He threw me into the room, emotionless.

I landed in a white room. A very very white room. I hated the white room. It made my skin burn. It was the epitome of boring. The walls and ceiling were bare. The blonde woman looked at the mess of agony I was in through a little slot window.

"You tried to help one of the subjects again. You were seen again. Putting yourself in danger again." The woman told me frigidly, her ruby colored lips pressed tightly together. She sounded like the woman in my dreams! She was her! But the only thing I could focus on were her stupid lips.

The red was the only pop of color on her. Her waxy lipstick was not a bit out of place. It was sickeningly perfect.

"He was drowning! Banging on the glass and screaming for help! What was was I supposed to do?!" I spluttered, pushing against the door.

"You leave him." The woman's eyebrows were arched obnoxiously perfect. Her blonde bun had not a hair out of place. "Survival of the fittest Darling, natural selection. Haven't you read up on Darwin lately?" A corner of her lip turned up, the slight making of a devilish smirk spread across her face. She certainly thought she was so clever. The smirk went flat. Her unforgiving tone was back. "Your little school girl crush on A9 is over. By the time you're out of this room the first load will be sent up."

"No!" I yelled, smacking at the door. Hoping it would do something. Anything. "You can't! It's not fair!"

"Well life's not fair Baby, get used to it." She snapped, flames dancing in her eyes. Looking down at me only made her more upset. "It's really damn unfair." The lady went to close the slot but before she did she said. "No Thomas and Teresa for a month." A part inside of me died and withered. "I love you y/n. This is for your own good." With one slam the slot was closed. Cutting me off from the rest of the world.

"Fuck you!" I cried, sinking to the floor. She had killed part of me. I could feel it. My spitfire of a spirit dampened. Waning. The room was my personal hell. Perfectly crafted to torture me. To punish me for what I'd done. There was nothing here.

I was alone.

Flashes entered my mind now. Only bits and pieces. All of that damn room. This wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to remember anything. My brain was at war. Fighting for a glimpse.

I was in the room again. I hadn't slept in days. My eyes stuck open as I looked forward to the wall opposite of me. A glazy film over my eyes. Next I was having a tea party. Only there was no one in attendance. No one real.

I laughed hysterically at the air. I had to have been hallucinating. A giant butterfly was flying around the room. It's wings melting into different colors. A clown stood facing a corner of the room, laughing over and over again without stop. Everything in the room that had nothing in it fucked with my mind. The walls began to have faces in them. Some frowning. Some deliriously happy.

I had made my own friends. Literally.

The room started to fade, turning into black mush. The sounds of sickening laughter echoed in my mind before pulling me back to reality. Back to outside the slammer. My friends staring at me.

"Y/n? Are you okay?" Newt asked, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Are you okay?!"

"Huh?" Something snapped back to normal. My memories were gone. But I could never forget what I'd seen. "Sorry. I just spaced out, my bad." I mumbled, rubbing my eyes.

"Okay well while you were doing whatever you were doing. We decided we're going to leave the glade." Newt's eyebrows raised, his hand giving my shoulder a comforting squeeze. "Do you want to come with us?" Words and images of the woman. Of the room. Still swam in my head. Corroding it.

"Yes." I said it in a matter of seconds but the decision had taken every bit of thought I could muster. "But we have to get through Gally first."

"You got a plan?" Minho scratched the back of his neck, waiting for my response. "We figured you might be able to seduce him or something like that."

"Do you think you'll be able to distract him y/n?" Newt pursed his lips. "Or convince him to let us go?" A smirk built up on my face. I'd been waiting for this moment my entire life.

"Gentlemen, they say the man is the head of the house. But the woman is the neck. Do you know why?" No one answered. "Because the woman can turn the head anyway she wants."

__________________________

There he was. By the wall of the maze. A stony look carved on his face. His brows set in an angry arch. It was going to be difficult but not impossible. How could anyone resist the old   y/n charm, especially Gally.

Two baggers passed me, carrying one of the fellow deceased. I nodded at them, giving a sympathetic look. Even if they were assholes they still saw their friends die last night too. Scooting past them I took a dee breath, taking short strides to Gally to prolong the journey. Then out of nowhere, I was there.

"Hi."

All I heard was the sound of stone chipping.

"Hi." His voice was monotone, flat. Gally kept on scratching the names off the great expanse of the wall.

"I'm alive. In case you were wondering." I began to fiddle around with my locket. Maybe he would loosen up once he saw me.

"I know." He grunted, eyes glued on the wall. "I made sure you were when I went looking for you last night. After I calmed down. You were in the deadheads sleeping. I didn't want to wake you." My heart palpitated, fluttering without control. My stupid feelings for wannabe Stalin couldn't just be snapped off by will.

"That's sweet of you." I said softly, brushing a hand on his muscled arm. He stiffened up, halting his work.

"Thanks." He uttered. My hand ran all the way to his wrist, encircling it. He didn't move it. I chewed on my lips, wondering if I could bring out the Gally I loved.

"So a lot happened last night."

"Yeah no shit." His face seemed to be stuck like that.

"Do you wanna go to the treehouse for a little bit? Maybe we could talk?" I suggested, trying to slip my hand into his. I interlaced my finger on his hand but his remained awkwardly still.

"I don't really wanna talk right now." A pit in my stomach landed where my heart fell. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"Well maybe later then?" Please say yes. Please.

"Nah I don't think so." He took his hand back coldly, rubbing it off on his shirt. "There's gonna be a banishment later, gotta get ready for it."

"Gally can't we just talk for a little bit?" My bottom lip quavered. It's funny that the more someone backs away from you the more desperately you cling to them. "I really want to talk with you." I looked down at the trampled grass. "Please."

"I told you later. I swear." He brushed me off, leaving me to myself as he went back to that stupid wall. A switch flipped in me. Making me feel something entirely different.

Angry.

"I don't want to talk later I want to talk now!" Fuming, I watched as he turned back around.

"Sometimes we don't get everything we want y/n!" Gally got right in my face, looming over me. "Get used to it." He spat. My fists curled, balling themselves up.

"You know you can be such an Ass sometimes Gally!" Voice breaking, I jerked away from him. Only to see Thomas and Teresa being dragged toward us. I was too late. "No. No you can't banish them!" I tried to block him from nearing them but he just moved me aside.

"It isn't a banishment y/n." Gally waved the guys that were hauling Thomas and Teresa over. I made my way over to his side.

"Come on Gally let them go. This is stupid!"

"Oh really? Was it stupid watching people we know die last night y/n?"

"So what's your solution? To kill more people?!" I stepped between them, my arms spread out to protect them.

"I'm not just killing them. It's a sacrifice!" He sounded mental.

"A sacrifice?!" I gawked at him. "You sound like a fucking cult leader!" He shook his head, burning his eyes into me.

"Why can't you understand I'm doing this for you! To protect you!" Gally motioned his hands to the others. "Look at yourself y/n! You're a mess!" I hadn't paid to much attention to my reflection lately. I probably didn't look the best. "All roughed up from Paul and I couldn't stop it." His eyes darkened. "But now I can."

Thomas was dropped to the ground, his fake unconscious body made a thump. Teresa shot me a pleading look as one of the guys kept her in place, urging me to keep talking.

"You're acting like Paul." I enunciated every word, making sure he got the message. "You're acting crazy."

"Well I don't really care what you think right now y/n." He looked down at my furious face and simply said. "Someone lock them in the treehouse. Don't let them out no matter what they say. They're tricky like that." A boy named Lawrence started towards me to obey Gally's order.

"Don't you fucking dare touch me." Slipping out of his reach, I gave Lawrence the nastiest look. "You can't just lock me up like an animal when I don't agree with you. I'm a human being!"

"Gally." Winston spoke up, putting a hand up to stop Lawrence from nearing me. "This doesn't feel right man."

"Yeah what if Thomas is right?" Jeff joined, stepping forward. "Maybe he could lead us home."

"We are home." Gally stood up as straight as he could, pacing toward the boys. "Okay? I don't want to have to cross anymore names off that wall."

"This is not home." My patience was gone. He didn't listen. It was as if what I was saying bounced off his head. "This was never home. It's a test. A place to torture children in." Gally's face broke. Just slightly. "How old were you when you got here, huh? You were all children. Robbed of your childhood. You will never get to have birthdays or Christmas or Hanukah or any other fucking holiday. You get nothing." I thrusted my arms about. "This is it!"

"You really think sacrificing us is going to solve anything?" Teresa had gotten riled up now, high off courage. It was infectious.

"Tie em up." Gally commanded, unable to look at me. His little soldiers acted accordingly. One pushed Teresa up against one of the large wooden posts. He took a rope and began to loop it around, tying a knot at her wrists.

"Gally! What are you doing?!" Teresa protested, her cries sounding frightened. My stomach twisted and turned at them. Unable to take it any longer I started over to her. Gally caught my wrist before I could save her. It was limp under his tight hold.

"You really think I'm gonna let Thomas back into the maze after what he's done?!" Gally bellowed, pulling me close to his side.

"What? What has he done Gally?" Before he could answer I blurted it out fiercely. "You're just jealous!"

"Oh yeah y/n I'm so jealous of the guy who destroyed our glade!"Gally mocked, glowering down at me. "Look around you! Look at it!" Smoke was billowing about. The bones of little structures littering the once soft grass the glade provided. "This is the only way. And when the grievers get what they came here for. Everything goes back to the way it was." His gaze on me softened. With one hand he delicately brushed hair out of my face, caressing it. "Everything." He dipped his mouth to my ear, whispering sweet nothings. "I promise. Just you and me. You'll be the glade's princess."

How is it after all this time he could make me so tongue tied?

"Are you listening to this?!" Teresa hissed, fighting against her binds. "Why are you all just standing there? He's crazy!"

"Would you shut up?" Gally's fingers left the side of my cheek.

"If you stay here the grievers are gonna come back." Teresa fought, trying to reason with the others. "They're gonna come back and they're gonna keep coming back till you're all dead!"

"Shut up!" Gally snapped, clutching my wrist tighter. "Tie him up!" He shouted, gesturing toward Thomas. Uh oh. The plan. "Did you hear me?! I said tie him up!" The boys that dragged Thomas over went to him like shameful little lap dogs. Each one picking up an arm until...

THWACK

Thomas's arm swung back, hitting one of them square in the gut. He stole the newly appointed guard's spear, jutting the end of it into him. Newt took out the other guard with the wooden part of his machete. Teresa kneed the guy in front of her right in the nuts.

Minho took his knife, placing the shiny blade on Gally's shoulder. Frypan cut away Teresa's rope with a quick swipe of his dagger. Chuck jogged up from the back to meet the group, tasked with holding all of the packs. The double agents all sank to Thomas's side. Giving Gally's hand a final squeeze before letting go, I shuffled over to the others.

"You're full of surprises aren't you." Gally spoke bitterly, like a snake lashing out to bite with his words. "Especially you y/n."

"Gally..." I trailed off. For once unable to come up with words. All I could focus on was the wounded look on his face making him look like a kicked puppy. I forced myself to look away, ignoring the awful taste in my mouth.

"You don't have to come with us but we are leaving." Thomas made the plan known, raising a spear towards Gally. "Anyone else who wants come now's your last chance." He announced clearly.

"Don't listen to him he's just tryin' to scare you." Gally called me over. "Y/n come on back. It's okay. Trust me." He opened his arms. Ready for me. His strong. Warm. Safe arms. I raised a foot, taking a step toward him.

"Y/n stay." Thomas sent me a warm look, his hair rippling in the wind. Remembering myself, I snapped back. "I'm not trying to scare you, you're already scared. Alright, I'm scared." He trembled, still having the ability to hold that stoic demeanor. "But I'd rather risk my life out there than spending the rest of it in here." He licked his lips. "We don't belong here. Like y/n said, this place isn't our home. At least out there we have a choice. We can make it out of here. I know that."

Slowly. One by one people began to trickle away from Gally onto our side. Jeff, Jack, Clint, Winston, Victor, (who really didn't need that much convincing) and others.Except for a few of his comrades, Gally was alone.

"It's over Gal." I said, holding my hand out to him. "Just come with us." He placed a look on me. One of pure Gally. Him. Without any showmanship. All he was was freckles and warmth and boy again. He was Gally.

"You guys can go." Gally cleared his throat. "I'm not stopping you. But don't take y/n." My heart crumbled just a little more when I heard his voice crack. "She stays and you can go. I don't need anything else." My eyes started to well, I had to grit my teeth to keep from crying. "Just her."

I wanted to run and leap into his arms cinematically. Have him spin me around as I slowly slid down. My mouth on his. But I couldn't. I knew I couldn't.

"No." Newt stood up for me, slinging an arm around my shoulder. "Don't do that to her Gally. Let her choose. Let her do it on her own accord."

Gally nodded, his face twisting as he silently agreed. I knew what I had to do. My mind was made up. Taking my time, I made my way back over to Gally.

"You're staying?" A glimmer of hope washed upon his face. Reaching up to hold Gally's face, I kissed him. "I love you so fucking much." He muttered quietly, letting our foreheads meet.

"Then come with me." I whispered, like a little kid exchanging a secret. He shook his head back and forth.

"I can't."

Tears stained my grubby skin. Nodding, I backed away. His hands fell away from me.

"Then you've gotta let me go." I sniffled, trying to contain myself. It was as if that moment every beautiful thing I'd experienced with Gally came to fruition. To me at that moment Gally was first kisses, laughter, hot chocolate, snow angels, fireworks, skin touching skin, hugs, and a bounty of stars. Billions of them.

"So then go." Gally's speech turned guttural and harsh. His eyes red, covered with a glazed film. Trying not to cry. "Go fuck Thomas again fucking Whore."

I knew why he said it and it made me cry even more. It was to get me to leave. Not because he meant it. He was trying to drive me away. Trying to make things easier for me.Through salty tears I forced a smile.

"See ya later Wonder Boy." Giving him one last salute, I waved him off. Turning my back to him and trying to swallow my pain, I rejoined the others.

Never looking back.