CHAPTER FIFTEEN:
WORDS CAN'T HURT ME

SHE SAT THERE ON THE steps, a tablet in her hand as she looked over her own file. Hair dangled in her face as she allowed the faint noise of the plane moving in the sky to soothe her nerves. She stared at the picture of herself that had been taken not long before the mission she had went on, and she couldn't help but notice how much she had truly changed. The girl in the picture looked almost foreign to her. The kindness in her eyes was nowhere to be seen in Sapphire's. The smile on her lips was now permanently drawn into a frown. Her eyes didn't shine anymore, and instead were darker with dark circles under her eyes from the lack of sleep.

HYDRA had truly messed her up. Everything she had experienced in the past few days felt nothing but foreign to her. She was waiting to wake up and realize that her being rescued had truly been a dream. Sapphire had wished several times that HYDRA had just killed her instead of letting her live, and turning her into the monster she was becoming. She didn't want to be a meta who could change her entire appearance when her powers were activated. She didn't want to have the ability to form ice in her hands, or thick icicles that she could use as a weapon. She didn't want any of it.

She had been so focused on her file, that she barely even noticed the footsteps coming towards her. Jemma Simmons stood there, staring at her older sister for a moment with a small frown on her face. After hearing the interaction that took place between Sapphire and Daisy, the woman couldn't help but to be curious as to what was going on with her sibling. Sapphire had always been kind to anyone, and hearing how she snapped at Daisy immediately made alarms go off in her head.

     "Saph." Jemma carefully made her way over towards her sister, watching as she jumped at the sudden sound of Jemma's voice. Sapphire looked up meeting her sisters eye, to which Jemma offered her a gentle smile. "Mind if I sit?" Sapphire moved over and Jemma sat down beside of her. She watched as Sapphire continued looking through her own file before Jemma softly sighed.

     "Is everything alright?" Jemma asked.

     Sapphire didn't look up from the tablet as she answered. "Why wouldn't it be?"

     "I don't know. But Daisy told me you snapped at her, which isn't like you at all, so I just wanted to check on you and make sure everything was okay."

     Sapphire shut of the tablet before turning her head to look at her sibling. "Well, it has been two years Jemma. A lot of shit you don't know about has changed." She clenched her jaw, looking away from Jemma to avoid seeing the slight hurt that flashed across her sisters face at her tone of voice. It was true that her anger had been starting to get the best of her more often than she liked to admit. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound angry, but in all honesty I am."

     "You can talk to me, you know that." Jemma placed a hand over her sisters and Sapphire couldn't help the small smile that fell on her face as she grabbed her hand, giving it a small squeeze.

     She nodded. "I know that." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, shaking her head as a sigh fell from her lips. "And when I can bring myself to tell you about it, you know that I will." She turned her head to look at her sister, and meeting her eyes once more. "But right now, I can't. I still have a lot of pent up anger, and talking about it will only bring it out, and I don't want to hurt you. I couldn't live with myself, if I were to hurt you."

     "Whether you believe it or not, words can't hurt me, Sapphire." Jemma assured her. Sapphire knew that, but what Jemma didn't know was the fear that Sapphire felt when being around her sister because of what she was―︎because of what she was becoming. If that part of her came out, she wouldn't know what to do with herself, especially if her sister was in the line of the fire. 

     "I know that." Sapphire swallowed. "But I can't take that chance. I promise you, I will talk to you eventually. It's just going to take a little longer than you're used to."

     "Alright." Jemma nodded before standing up. "I'll be in my lab whenever you're ready."

     Sapphire nodded, managing a small smile. "Thank you." Jemma smiled back and nodded her head before turning on her heel and leaving Sapphire to her privacy once more.

She wanted to tell her sister everything that had happened to her. She truly did. But fear was holding her back, and that was something that she wasn't used to. She and Jemma told each other everything, and she almost felt guilty for not telling her sister about her powers. Almost. But fear was a powerful thing, and it was taking over the guilt that she felt. She refused to tell her sister about what was becoming of her, because she was scared of what Jemma's reaction was going to be.

She knew that Jemma wouldn't see her any differently, she knew that for a fact. But that fear of Jemma looking at her differently was much stronger than her logical thinking. She couldn't lose her sister, she just couldn't. Jemma meant the entire world to her, and if having these powers meant the possibility of losing her, then Sapphire was going to keep it a secret as long as she possibly could. But she knew that Coulson will eventually want her tested, to make sure she was healthy, to make sure HYDRA hadn't done anything to her. And once they found her DNA had been rewritten, there was no going back. And that's what she was afraid of.