How was I supposed to be strong when all I wanted to do was die. When those horrible things terrorise everyone I love killed them all and leave nothing in their wake, where they terrorise my own thoughts and dreams. I just, why, why did I have to live in a world with monsters that had the same blood and flesh as you and I. I didn't even know why I was still here, why I even joined the army why I even try to survive anymore when death was almost certain by those damn fucking monsters outside the barrier.

But I stayed because of you, you and only you. I can't even confess what I feel when I see you. I know you don't see me like I see you but I wanted to protect you, I wanted to love you and be the only thing you loved. My heart stops whenever I see you, it skips a beat like I can't even catch my own breath when I'm near you Hitch. And perhaps it's my own damn fault, my own stupid feelings I caught for you yet I know you wouldn't return my love.

To you I must just always be friends, I know I'm not shabby like the rest of them. I'm not strong, i'm not fast, I'm not good looking and i'm not really smart either, I wouldn't know how to treat you the way you wanted to be treated which scared me the most. I love you Hitch, I loved you no matter what. If I had the confidence I would confess to you heart in hand, I would get on my knees and tell you every single thing I would do to protect you and I would. I would marry you and live in a small house, you could do whatever you want, even sleep with another man, even punch, kill me, anything just so I could love you.

Yet I could never tell you in person without shriveling up and dying. So I watch you from a distance, knowing you will never love me in return but that's okay with me. I accepted my future and I'm okay with watching you be happy from the sidelines. So, if you're reading this Hitch, I've probably ended my time on this earth and the only thing that hasn't changed is that I still love you...

(it's so short i'm so sorry!)