|chapter eight:: lose your mind|

"GUZMAN, slow down, for Christ Sake." I groaned as I rubbed my tired eyes, "You just disturbed my peaceful sleep, so can you just talk to me as if I'm a four year old?" Guzman rolled his eyes as he stood in my room, his clothes and hair soaked from the rain. I frowned at where he stood, "You made my rug wet."

"Adriana, what I'm trying to tell you is more important than your damn rug!" He told me, annoyance in his voice.

"Okay, okay," I sighed, sitting up, "What's wrong?"

"Samuel," He began, "When I went to his house looking for Nano, he played this recording to me. He was telling me earlier before I got suspended, but I- I don't know.. " He trailed and I furrowed my brows as he started to get deep into his thought.

I stand up from my bed and go over to him, grabbing his shoulders, "Guzman?" I called out to him and he looked at me, anger and sadness mixed in his eyes, "What was he telling you?"

"He-" Guzman paused briefly, letting out a deep sigh, "He was saying that Nano didn't kill Marina."

I froze, my eyes locking on his, "What?" I mumbled, "How does he know his brother didn't do it?"

Guzman stepped away from me and ran his hand down his face, "I don't fucking know, alright? I was so pissed, I didn't care for details."

I shook my head, "This doesn't make sense, Guzman, you know that, right? Samuel's statement is what sent that bastard to prison because no one else saw him around the time-"

"You don't think I know that?" Guzman retorted, "None of it making sense. I barely believed that bastard when he told me the first time."

"He told you this more than once?"

"Yeah," Guzman admitted, now pacing my room, "But, I thought he was just trying to rile me up and piss me off even more."

"Did he say who could have done it?" I wondered, and Guzman looked at me before he sighing.

"He claimed that Polo and Carla was involved and that Christian knew about it," Guzman explained, "He even recorded Carla when she talked to him."

"Did she say that she did it? Or that Polo did it?" I asked and he shook his head, causing me to huff out, "So why the hell are we believing him? He has no viable proof, Guzman."

"I know," Guzman grunted, frustration displayed on his face, "It's just that awhile ago, I thought Nano didn't do it. I thought he couldn't have killed Marina."

"I did too," I mumbled, "But I don't think our own friends did it either." His pacing stopped, so he could look at me when I called his name, "Guzman... if Nano didn't do it, who did? Who killed Marina?"

My eyes began to water as I thought of her cold body limp beside the pool, causing Guzman to hurry over to me and pull me into a hug, "I don't know, Adriana," He whispered, squeezing me a little tighter as if to secure my place in his arms, "But I promise you, I'll find out who did."

"Ana," I heard my name being called, but my mind was somewhere else until Lu snapped her fingers in my face, "Hello? Earth to Adriana, are you in there?"

I looked up from my notebook to meet her concerned face, "Huh?"

She sighed at my first response in the past couple of minutes, "God, did you even hear a word I say?" I shook my head, "Well, of course not, you've been tuning me out for days. What's up with you?"

"Sorry, Lu, I just haven't gotten much sleep lately," I admitted and she looked at me, worried.

"You really should, Ana. You're starting to get bags under your eyes," She informed me, pulling out her compact mirror to show me my dull and exhausted face, "Please, at least put on concealer for the party. I don't want people thinking I slaved you to help me with my event."

"Don't you mean Cayetanna's event?" I asked as she typed in her phone, though she gave a shrug, so I chuckled lowly, "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"I came up with an idea to help Guzman with your parents at the party since they don't know we're over," She mentioned, "I suggested that we should pretend to be together."

My attention turned to her fully, "Lu, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not? It's not like we're going to go further than we need to." She explained, but I sighed, "He needs my help, Ana. I just can't leave him to explain that we're not really together because he slept with a Muslim."

"You know, she has a name, Lu," I informed, "And if I must admit, that threat you made towards her wasn't a good way to show you were 'over Guzman', just like this plan where you guys are fake dating."

She rolled her eyes, going back to her phone, "I liked you better when you weren't listening to me." I laughed again, but shorter than the last because I was drained. All I could think about was Samuel's theories and it felt like it was driving me mad.

A part of me wants to despise Guzman for telling me and putting a very large burden over my head that I now can't leave my head. I had thought for months the my sister's killer was in prison. I thought this was all settled until now- I thought it was all over, though I was just being naive because that means that if Nano is innocent, my sister's real killer has been free this whole time and smiling in our faces probably. I definitely couldn't go back to sleep after that conversation, so I had to fight my insomnia and toss around in bed all night until my alarm went off and every night since.

"I think Cayetanna has been lying to me," Lu suddenly told me. I quickly raised a brow at her, so she sighed, "She made me the ambassador for the charity event tonight and letting me take full credit for the whole thing."

"And what's wrong with that?"

"Almost everything," She clarified, "She didn't want to tell her mom about it, so me being me, I wanted to surprise her and call her mom anyways, but when I called, it was the janitor's phone that rang."

"What are saying, Lu?" I asked, "That she made up the whole thing about her parents and the event? Come on, be real."

"I am, Ana, and that's the thing," She huffed, "What if she's been playing me this whole time?"

"Well, before you do something you might regret, I suggest that you ask her," I advised, but she only scoffed before Guzman came up to us, "Hey, Guzman, what's up?"

"Have you spoken to Ander? I've been calling him all morning." He asked and I shook my head.

"Not since yesterday when he said he was going to be with you guys," I explained, "But Omar told me that he was sick."

He nodded, looking down at his phone, "Okay, thanks. See you later." He walked off without even saying a word to Lu, but she simply rolled her eyes before meeting mine.

"You're okay with the fact that you haven't heard from Ander now?" She asked and I hummed, glancing down at my book, "Is this a new Adriana or something because a couple of weeks ago, both of you were at odds."

"Yeah, I've learned to just leave him be, but show that I'm still here." I explained, "It's clear he's hiding something, but I know that eventually he'll tell me." Plus, I had a lot more things on my mind lately.

Lu didn't speak much after that and I was too tired to continue. When school was over, I headed straight home to see my mom and dad already getting ready for the event.

"I put your dress on the bed, honey," My mom said as she put on her earrings and dad fixed his tie, "Hopefully, it outshines your splint like you wanted."

I nodded briefly before heading upstairs, to see my dress and shoes laid out on my bed like my mom said. I went to grab my dress, though when I saw my hands, I noticed that they were shaking violently. I haven't been taking my anxiety meds in a while because I assumed I was fine without them and it wouldn't be that bad if I missed a couple days. But I was wrong.

I balled my available fist up as I grabbed my dress tightly before closing my eyes and letting out a soft sigh. I needed to calm down and fast. I sat on my bed and laid back, continuing to keep my eyes shut as my brain worked nonstop with thoughts.

What if Samuel was right? What if Nano was innocent? What if Polo and Carla did killed my sister? Is that why she was distant?

"Stop," I mumbled to myself, a light exhale escaping past my lips, "Stop it.."

Why couldn't she tell me? My brain continued, What if she was afraid to tell me? What if she knew something about it and was just afraid?

I suddenly jump up as one question hit me hard as if it was always there. I rubbed my head, trying to push the thought away, but it was there and it couldn't leave just as fast as it came.
I couldn't ask myself this physically, but my conscious could as I asked myself.

What if Ander knew?