Shouto: You know what, I'm so glad that I'm no longer falling victim to Touya's dumbassery and instead I'm finally being left to die in the woods just as I have wished for so long after being added to this gc

Izuku: You do realize that we were spared after Touya attempted to kidnap Kacchan again and Hawks showed up and had this dramatic reveal about why they couldn't "adopt" and there was a lot of sobbing, not sure why Tokoyami was there, idk it's still very blurry to me

Shouto: Well then I must have been fucking high because last I checked I WAS BEING CARRIED OFF INTO THE FOREST IN A DUFFLE BAG BY AN ANGRY POMERAIAN

Izuku: Well maybe you really did eat those brownies that Sero made for your father

Shouto: What does that have to do with anything?

Izuku: ...

Izuku: Omg

Shouto: What?

Izuku: Did you... did you eat them...?

Shouto: ...Maybe

Izuku: OMG

Izuku: THOSE WERE MADE AS A PRANK I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ATE THEM THOSE WERE EDIBLES

Shouto: WHAT!?  THEY WERE SITTING ON THE COUNTER AND THERE WAS A NOTE BY IT THAT SAID "For Endeavor-San :)" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAWKS BEING THE THOT HE WAS AND I ATE THEM OUT OF SPITE FOR MY FATHER

Izuku: DUMBASS

Shouto: DON'T CALL ME A DUMBASS IF YOU DIDN'T EVEN TELL ME THE PLAN

Shouto: BESIDES, EARILER NATSUO BET ME ¥2000 IF I DID

Natsuo: Best ¥2000 ever spent

Shouto: I am going to kill you

Touya: Are we just going to ignore the fact that Katsuki can't be my child :(

Katsuki: Piss off and don't call me that

Shouto: Yeah, he prefers Kacchan

Shouto: Right, Kacchan?

Katsuki: I dare you to call me that one more time

Shouto: So Izuku can call you Kacchan but I can't?

Katsuki: Mind your business, fuckwipe

Touya: Kacchan can you shut up for a second let me be sad :(

Touya: You too, Sho-Sho

Shouto: Wow, you can't even come up with a new nickname?

Shouto: What a loser

Touya: Shut your flat ass up

Izuku: Don't talk about my boyfriend's ass like that 😤

Touya: We get it you like to see him naked please stop announcing it to the world smh 🙄

Rei: Excuse me, but why is nobody worried about the fact that Shouto ate edibles?  Also, I'm also concerned about why you decide to talk about all this in front of me...

Touya: Because, the doctors said it was good for your mental health

Fuyumi: I'm sure that's not what they said

Touya: Ofc it is, memes have all healing powers

Fuyumi: Yes, Touya, because that makes sense

Touya: Natsu would agree

Natsuo: Because it's the truth smh

Touya: This is why Natsuo is the second best Todoroki sibling

Natsuo: *the best

Touya: Keep dreaming

Touya: Now everyone listen up

Shouto: Wait but why is no one talking about how good those brownies were like damn

Katsuki: Yeah what the fuck was that about

Izuku: KACCHAN, YOU TOO!?

Katsuki: He bet me ¥2000 saying that I was a pussy and of course I proved his ass wrong

Shouto: Best ¥2000 ever spent 😫

Touya: CAN ALL OF YOU SHUT UP NOBODY CARES THAT YOU ATE EDIBLES

Izuku: But Touya-chan, you care about Shouto don't you 🥺

Touya: Well the answer to that is simple, really

Touya: I wouldn't HESITATE

Izuku: You wouldn't hesitate to what?  🥺

Touya: To...

Touya: Uhm.

Touya: First please stop typing that face, it's making me uncomfortable

Izuku: But you didn't finish what you were saying 🥺

Touya: What the fuck

Touya: KEIGO WTF DO SOMETHING

Keigo: Sorry I'm kind of in the middle of an important mission

Touya: YOU DUMB SHIT, YOU'RE SITTING RIGHT NEXT TO ME AND EATING YAKITORI, WHAT "IMPORTANT MISSION"!?

Keigo: Let me finish my Yakitori 🥺

Touya: ...

Touya: Fine fine whatever whatever 

Izuku: Touya-chan can you answer the question 🥺

Touya: For the love of fucking god SHOUTO HAS ALWAYS GOT IN MY WAY AND I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET TO LEARN WHAT HIS PROBLEM IS AND I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BURN HIS FACE OFF SINCE HE WAS BORN BECAUSE HE WAS MORE LOVED THAN ME AND I WAS A DISAPPOINTMENT BECAUSE MY DUMBASS BODY WASN'T DESIGNED FOR MY QUIRK

Shouto: Oh.

Shouto: Izuku what did I tell you about using that technique on others?

Shouto: We're not here for the family angst

Izuku: I WAS JUST TRYING TO GET HIM TO ANSWER ME WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

Shouto: You know what you fucking did.

Izuku: What???

Shouto: The main character thing

Izuku: ???

Shouto: YOU DID THE SAME THING TO ME

Izuku: Ohhh... that

Izuku: But that's how I got you to fall in love with me ;)

Shouto: You're fucking lucky that I love you

Shouto: BUT ENOUGH JUST UNDO IT BECAUSE IF IT KEEPS GOING THEN MOM'S GONNA START, THEN NATSU, THEN YUMI, AND FFS I'M GONNA START

Natsuo: But it all started the day I was born 😢

Touya: It all started when Shouto was born for me tbh

Fuyumi: Why can't we have a normal family...

Shouto: I wish we weren't so angsty :')

Izuku: Ah, actually I think I know how to fix this

Izuku: Kacchan!

Katsuki: Fuck you

Izuku: ...Kacchan 🥺

Katsuki: ...Fuck you

Izuku: Kacchaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnn

Katsuki: WHAT!?

Izuku: Can you pretty please yell at them for being angsty 👉👈

Katsuki: What makes you think I'm going to listen to you?

Izuku: Because we're besties???

Katsuki: What the fuck

Izuku: You didn't deny it

Izuku: Is that a yes?

Katsuki: First of all, we're not besties so you can go die

Izuku: :((

Katsuki: Second, they shouldn't be bringing up personal issues where we have no place in

Fuyumi: I'm sorry, Touya means well, really

Shouto: And that's why he became a villain?  Fuyumi, face it, we can't be normal, and we most definitely can't be stable

Touya: Tbh I still want you to die :')

Touya: Yet, when I made this, I wanted to see what it felt like if I messed with you enough with this experiment, to see what would send you to the breaking point, your weaknesses, your strengths

Touya: But I just ended up hating you for a different reason

Shouto: What???

Touya: I hate you because I can't kill you

Katsuki: Wow I fucking made it worse

Izuku: Kacchan no you didn't, I think we're making progress :)

Katsuki: Which is just another bullshit way to say that we fucked up

Izuku: Noooooo...

Katsuki: Oh yeah?  Then watch what happens next and tell me that to my face

Rei: I think we need to have a talk.  All of us.

Katsuki: See and now I got roped into this

Izuku: :')