Maria had informed derik about his son's recovery, Clauis was perfectly fine, it's just his body was extremely fatigued so he had been sleeping most of the time. Derik had decided to live in the academy provided room.

He was truly angry at the council of the academy of not taking his son's situation that seriously. But the attendance thing is the least they can do, further discussions were halted until the head the academy the owner of the magic tower.

Derik just took in another breath, his long hair pulled back into a high pony tail and a few strands of his hair tucked behind his ears. Wearing glasses, the sunlight shone upon his gorgeous pimple free, smooth skin. He looked godly handsome. It was actually a thing in the novel, as long as you were mentioned you were beautiful or handsome.

Clauis was utterly confused and speechless as to what the man was doing sitting beside his bed on a comfortable chair. He couldn't help but fidget with the hem of the infirmary patient shirt. He was nervous and the silence was totally awkward. He couldn't even concentrate on his book.

Right now he was studying alchemy, something his father is the worst at. He chose this subject purposefully, he didn't want his father to start nagging him in the middle of his book, so he just chose a subject his father wasn't good at and kept the conversation to the most minimal amount.

And sure enough derik didn't say anything. He didn't know alchemy so he couldn't comment about anything. More importantly he didn't understand why his son liked alchemy so much. No one in their family liked alchemy, not even his wife, they all detested alchemy and chose to stay far away from it yet his odd ball of a son, chose it.

After the death of his wife, his mate, he had kept distance from all of his sons, it was not only after his wife's death but even when she was alive, he had always kept a certain distance. Not only from his family or comrades ( he doesn't have friends) but even in human relationships he had created a certain line, a line that no one could cross.

A person, his wife, his mate, did cross that line, but she ended up dying, he knew she would die, he didn't want any child, he knew about an omega's weak body, he didn't want to loose her, yet somehow he wasn't able to control himself when he went into ruts.

It resulted in his wife being pregnant two times, the first one were twins and the second child was legion, but everything went south when he knew three children were enough, he and her, they argued over that alot, he didn't want to risk it anymore, he didn't want to loose her this early, yet somehow his wife managed to climb his bed during his rut and get pregnant for the third time.

He was mad over her, but he couldn't stay like that any longer, he quickly become her male servant and completed all of her outrageous commands and requests.

His twin sons were then mature enough and experienced another side of their loving beautiful mother. This time his wife was hoping it was an omega (not like she would love her child any less if it was an alpha) she even prayed to the god. Everything was going well, until that happened.

Truthfully after that incident he became afraid, he closed off himself because he didn't want to experience the death of his sons, he didn't want anyone close to him die anymore. He had no choice, he became so afraid, he neglected his children. He knew what he did was wrong, especially it was so unfair for his youngest son, but he couldn't help but imagine his wife whenever he looked at him.

They looked so similar, the way they smiled, the sound of their laughter, their likes amd dislikes. Even their allergies! He couldn't stand it anymore.

And then one day his son, just stopped smiling, laughing, his missed that smile, but he didn't do anything he didn't dare interfere in their lives, he didn't have the right to, he didn't deserve to, not when he neglected them, they were his responsibility, yet he failed a great time.

He knew that, but he didn't apologize, because he didn't feel any sort of regret, if the time was turned back he would do this all over again. He still doesn't want to see it, he doesn't want to loose anyone. No matter who it is they always die whenever they get too close.

He had experienced enough, he didn't want to go through any of that pain anymore. Only he knows how much pain he endured after the death of his mate. He had to isolate himself in the attic of a villa he owned in the countryside, in order for him to not hurt anyone. He had to not only keep his pheromones under control but also his mana which was so close to bursting.

He hates it so much, he hates that he's the only one who survives always. Why do others have to die? Why do they have to die? Why couldn't the god just take his life in exchange of all th people who died because of him, protecting him or against him. If only he had died instead of them, then maybe his children would suffer less? If this troublesome and trashy father of their was gone then maybe no one else would have to die?

Maybe they could all live, if only he died? He was ready to exchange his soul for them at any time of the day. He wouldn't miss a heartbeat in agreeing to it. He just missed them so much.

He despises that he has to live in such a way, not once he has ever done the right thing in his entire life.