Chapter 15:Darrius Mitchell

I laid down on my bed as Caleb typed up our recent report for our project. He was seated at the edge of the bed with his back turned to me. It had been a few days since that night in the car and every time we made eye contact all I could do was smile. He turned to look over his shoulder and I smiled as he did.


"Why are you so happy Mr. Mitchell?" he asked turning all the way around holding his laptop. Instead of answering the question I just continued to stare. He was wearing a tight black shirt that hugged every muscle on his upper body. His blue jeans also gripped his thigh muscles quite nicely as well. I was just wearing my white tank undershirt and basketball shorts.


"Hello?" Caleb said waving his hand in the air to get my attention, "I think I asked you a question."


"What if I didn't want to answer it," I joked as I pulled myself up to lay against the headboard. I patted the space next to me and he rolled his eyes before crawling over. He sat his computer on both of our legs and moved closer to me making our shoulders touch. My stomach being to tighten feeling his skin on mine.


"Where are we on the paper?" I asked him looking at the laptop screen. Everything looked really organized and a lot of information collected that I also had a hand in getting.


"Well, I'm almost done with this part of the report," He stated, "Now all we have to do is conduct the experiments and everything will be done from there."


"Alright!" I excitedly clasped my hands together, "I think we are ahead of everyone else in the class."


"We are actually" Caleb grinned, "I'm just happy we got this part finished because now we can chill for this month. Isn't your birthday coming up."


"Yes! I'm going to be 18 and nothing feels better than becoming an adult and getting that restriction off my license."


He laughed closing his laptop. He crawled over me placing it on the floor. His shirt ridded up a little exposing part of his stomach. I never thought that a dude's stomach would turn me on this much. Hell, just sitting next to him makes me hot all over.


We haven't really talked about what happened this weekend and I was beginning to wonder was Caleb pulling back from me. What we did in the car felt different than just any other kiss I had. We were hungry for each other and that moment really made me understand that I wasn't just in it for the fun. Caleb may have said he liked me and judging by the way he acted at the party he doesn't want to see anyone else with me. As he pulled himself back up against the headboard, he turned to look at me. I stared into his deep blue eyes before he playfully pushed me.


"Stop staring at me like that," He laughed, "It makes me feel all giggly and stuff."


"See, you are a female," I joked and he punched me in my leg. The sting of it made me scrunch up my face and I punched him back but accidentally went higher than I planned to. He fell to his side and balled up grabbing his family jewels. My eyes went wide seeing what I did but it was still funny. So while I tried to comfort him, I was still trying to hold in a laugh.


"Are you okay?" I struggled with holding in my laughter. He pushed my hands off of him and I kind of got offended.


"Hey now! I'm trying to make you feel better," I shouted as he continued to cradle himself.


"I fucking hate you," He said keeping my hand at bay. I scoffed and said, "That's not what you were saying last weekend."


I heard him laugh and crawled over him. I put my body weight on him and kissed the hand that he covered his face with. He gave my face a small push but I moved his hand.


"You still mad at me?" I softly asked him kissing his cheek and caging his leg between mine. I kissed his cheek again but held it there longer.


"Get off of me D," He laughed and turned his face towards me. I moved off of him so he could turn the rest of his body around. His eyes glazed over as he smiled at me.


"What you starin' at me for?" I asked him and he shrugged still smiling. We sat in a comfortable silence before his face shifted changing the entire mood. I furrowed my eyes at him and asked, "What's wrong?"


"What are we doing Darrius?" He asked me and I rolled my eyes.


"I thought we were getting to know each other," I answered honestly becoming a little irritated, "I mean I don't sit here and kiss random dudes on the cheeks or sit this close to any nigga."


"But this is not a part of trying to get to know each other. It seems like-"


"Seems like what?" I interjected and he finished, "More than just getting to know each other. It feels like we have already gotten past that. I'm starting to feel...I don't know like, this could actually be something."


I calm down a little realizing what he was getting at. It was starting to feel like we were working towards actually making this thing with us work. We were actually trying to have a relationship. However, even though his head was there, I was still trying to get to know him. There were still things I was curious about.


I sighed and then said, "Caleb, I understand you but at the same time we still don't know shit about each other."


I watched his expression become sadden but I continued, "I know that's not what you want to hear but it's true. We haven't asked each other any questions about what happened while we were beefin' with each other or how serious do we really want to get with each other. I agree that we may have pushed forward too much and now we are both becoming confused on what we want-"


"Okay, maybe we should stop discussing about asking each other and just go ahead ask right now," He stated sitting up against my wall now. I sat up against my headboard again and said, "I'm ready whenever you are."


He sighed crossing his legs and placing them on top of mine. I gave him a half smile before he begins to speak, "What kind of music do you like?"


"Hip-hop. Next question," I joked and he hit me on my leg again, "Owww! I was just playing. "


"Well stop it!" he laughed and continued, "Are you still interested in Alicia?"


"The hard questions now huh?" I said and I saw him reaching to hit me. I flinched before I said, "Okay! No I am not. I mean if we being honest with each other, she is fine so that temptation is always going to be there. However, interest wise, I don't see myself really with her."


"Do you see yourself with me?" Caleb asked and the answer just shot out of my mouth like a reflex, "Yes."


He instantly begin to blush with his face growing this obvious shade of pink. It made me feel really good I had that effect on him. However, I wanted to ask him a couple of questions myself.


"Question for you now," I said gaining his attention, "How come this shit seems so easy for you?"


"What you mean?" He asked folding his arms again.


"I mean like the touching, kissing, and trying to be like a real couple you know. Especially the being jealous thing. You act like everyone should know what the fuck we doing."


"Oh?" He said grinning, "I guess it just seems natural to me. I mean I want to be with you and you want to be with me. Is it weird for me to want to tell people?"


"Yes! Well to me anyway because we are both dudes! Not to mention, we are the two most popular guys in school. Our reputation is to sleep with every chick that comes in our direction. But if we come out saying that we messing with each other, do you know how much shit that's going to get us in?"


The room became eerily silent. I could tell by the way his face flatten that it wasn't the answer he was expecting me to say.


"I guess you answered my question from earlier," he stated moving off of me and making his way off my bed. I grabbed him by his arm a little forcefully then I wanted to and he ended up falling back on to the bed almost hitting his head on the wall.


"I told you that thinking you would understand where I'm coming from with this. We are suppose to keep it honest with each other right?"


He didn't say anything and I was becoming impatient. He thought since we have expressed ourselves that everything is suppose to be fine. However, I'm thinking realistic here while he is stuck in whatever dream world he is in.


"I'm just trying to look out for what is best right now," I said pulling him into my lap. He tired squirming away from me but I locked my legs around him to keep him in place. Then I continued explaining, "I'm looking out for you and me C. What would happen if a college recruiter found out that we were together?


"Nothing," He answered not looking at me.


"For you yes," I said, "I'm black if you haven't noticed and some colleges will use anything they can not to admit me. No matter how smart or talented."


"That's not true Darrius!" he argued now facing me, "The world is different now. Colleges don't even think about who the hell you are sleeping with, just as long as you are winning the games."


"From my point of view they are."


"That's because you are scared," he stated grabbing my face. To be honest, yes I was scared and it made me want to make him scared too. I know it sounds selfish but it's true. We are in our own world when we are together but if we were to take this out into reality, it would destroy our bubble of happiness. Yes I said it, no matter how stupid it sounds.


"Yes I am scared and you should be too," I said as he turned around in my lap and wrapped his legs around my waist. My arms circled around him as I put my face in the crook of his neck.


"I don't want to let the world know what we have because no matter how many laws are passed, our type of relationship still ain't nothing but a sin to people and I'm not trying to see you all sad and shit."


"Aww Darrius you care about me," he teased giving me a tight hug. I rolled my eyes at his childishness as I pushed him off just enough to give me some breathing room, "and I understand where you are going with this and I just have to respect that you aren't ready."


"Back to my earlier question, why are you so ready," I asked as he laid his head down on my shoulder. His blonde hair brushed against my chin and I could smell the amazing shampoo he used on his hair. His fingers ran across my neck slowly distracting me from the question I just asked him. He needed to stop playing with my emotions.


"Well, like I said. I don't see the meaning in hiding anymore," he begin still playing with my neck, "I mean I was scared at first but now, since I don't have any friends except Evan, I don't have anything to lose any more. I'm okay with losing the popularity because I never really wanted it in the first place."


"But don't you want to have sex with another girl before you make this decision," the question slipped out before I could take it back. He lifted his head up at me with his eyes squinted in a glare. I didn't even try to look back as I turned my head finding my curtains very interesting.


"Do you want to have sex with another girl before I make this decision," he asked, "or would you not care whether I do or not because you would do it any way."


I wanted to answer but I really didn't want to have him angry with me. So I said the only thing that came into my mind as I looked at him with his arms folded and his face becoming a little red," You look really sexy when you are angry."


"Darrius!"


"Caleb!" I mimicked his whiny voice, "I swear are you sure you not a girl?"


"I'm trying to be serious," he said, "are you really thinking about being with other people?"


I looked at him for a moment. In his eyes I saw hope that maybe just maybe I'll say no but I had to be honest with him. So I took a deep breath and answered, "Honestly Caleb...yeeee yes."


I saw his eyes lose all the brightness it had but I continued, "it wouldn't mean nothing though."


I didn't have to say anything else before he climbed off of me and when I tried to grab him he pushed me off. He got his bag and I grabbed onto him. I ended up pinning him against my door.


"Let me go before I kick you in the balls," he yelled and I moved my lower half away from his knee.


"Can you please just listen!"


"I listened to everything you had to say Darrius! You aren't as serious as I am about us because you still want to do whatever you want to. Quite frankly I'm done being the stupid one in a relationship thinking I'm the only one when there are plenty others. So if you want to do you that's fine...but don't expect me to be waiting for you when you are finished."


He pushed me off of him again leaving me speechless as he walked out the door. For a moment I just stared at it. A few moments turned a few minutes. 39 minutes to be exact.


I stood there staring at the door, like a dumbass, hoping he would walk back in. Then the thought of him not walking back in to yell at me hit me hard. I sat down on the floor and continued to stare. What in the hell was going on? I have not dealt with this dude for over 8 years and somehow now I can't even stand a few minutes of him being angry with me.


When he suddenly walked back into the room, I pulled him into the tightest hug I've ever given anyone. I didn't want to let him go away angry with me. Within those few minutes of him being away from my sight, I felt this empty feeling of loneliness. I wasn't even thinking about anybody else. All I could think about was him and only him.


"I am so sorry," I told him, "I swear I don't want anybody else but you!"


"I forgot my laptop," he said as I hugged him, "and you aren't just saying that right?"


"No. What the fuck did you do to me?"


"What do you mean?" Caleb asked and I pulled back from hugging him.


"I felt so bad when you walked out the door, I was like almost in my feelings."


"Almost?" he asked with his eyebrow raised and a small smile spread across his face. I rolled my eyes and answered, "Okay I was in my feelings."


"I knew it," he said kissing me for the first time since the party. It was like I was on another planet when I kissed him. Everything seemed possible and simple when I kissed him.


"Our bubble of happiness," I thought out loud while kissing him. He pulled back from me when he heard it, looking at me like I farted or something.


"Our what?" He asked me and looked everywhere else but him and said, "Just keep kissing me."


Before he could protest I kissed him again and everything was perfect and simple again. Then I begin to think. How come I didn't have the same mentality he had about us? How come it frightens me that not only if we were to come out that I would probably lose everything I worked for but why did it make me want to cry when I thought about him leaving me?


Caleb Johnson was doing something to me and I didn't know whether to give in to it or run from it.

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