When I got home, I just wanted to go up to my room and cry. However, this day just had to get even weirder. As I walked through the mahogany doors, the first thing I see is Chris on top of my brother just devouring his lips. My brother looked fully invested in it as well as he grinded his hips up to meet with Chris's. They seemed to have just begun as their clothes weren't torn off as of yet but I could see my brother placing both hands in positon to do just that with Chris's shirt. I hurried and slammed the door making Chris jump off my brother and land on the floor.

"What's going on?" I asked as Chris held his shirt like he was already naked. His light skin burned with the heaviest blush I've ever seen. Then my brother got up and buttoned up his shirt. He straightens himself up as I just continued to stare. I knew they were going to eventually get together but damn my brother works fast.

After catching his breath, Harry spoke, "No the question is...what is going on with you?"

I begin to think how this turned into something about me but then I realized he was just trying to change subjects. I shook the confusion out of my head and said, "No...what were you two doing?"

"You can't be that dumb Caleb," Harry stated before Chris pushed passed him and rushed to the door to leave.

"Chris wait!" My brother protested but it was too late because Chris was already out the door, "Damn!"

He stared back at me with his hands on his hips, "Thank you very much Caleb! I wasn't only about to get the guy that I want but I was about to change his whole life in about 30 minutes with the right foreplay and positions."

I rolled my eyes trying to hold in a laugh and a cry. I wanted to laugh at my brother's anger but I wanted to cry because my mind went back to when I was at Darrius house. I didn't even know that he was still talking to that Alicia girl. From what I saw at his job and from what he told me, I thought he was done with her. I guess my thinking was wrong. It was silly of me to believe that Darrius could even be remotely attracted to me let along like me the way I liked him. Without even realizing it I had let the tears flow and I ran over to hug my brother.

He hugged me awkwardly with him slowly putting his arms around me. I hadn't told him about how I felt about Darrius because I really didn't understand why I felt the way I did. Even though I knew my brother wouldn't judge me, I wasn't fully ready for the advice he had to give me. I wasn't sure if he was going to tell me to follow my heart or just leave Darrius alone. Thinking about it only made me cry more.

"There...there little brother," Harry said awkwardly patting me on my back, "If I would have known seeing me with Chris would have upset you then I would have left him alone."

Leave it up to my brother to make me laugh when I was down. I moved from his embrace and wiped my eyes.

"What's going on Cal?" He asked concerned as we walked to the couch that I was reluctant to sit on but I remembered worse things have happened on this couch. I sat down next to him as he leaned back against the blue couch cushions. For a moment we just sat but then I answered, "I think I like Darrius."

My brother's eyebrows lifted and he nodded becoming more comfortable on the couch. He then smiled and said, "I kind of knew when he asked you can you guys talk privately."

"You knew?" I asked shocked but a little irritated that he eavesdropped on my conversation. 

"Yea, I mean the way you stared at him during the time that he was over here. It was obvious."

"So what do you think I should do?"

"Tell him."

That's when the picture of Alicia in his bed sheets popped into my head. I couldn't compete with a girl especially one like her. She was beautiful and had something I didn't have...a vagina. I turned to my brother again to tell him about what happened when I tried to go over and tell Darrius. His expression went from hopeful to shocked to him hugging me because I begin to cry again.

"So how am I supposed to tell him when I know that he doesn't see me that way?" I cried out as my brother moved his hand through my hair. This felt like fifth grade all over again when Darrius told me we weren't friends anymore (well beat me up and then just didn't talk to me). Harry had stayed up with me the entire night as I cried.

I felt my brother push me back to look at me with his eyes squinting at me before he said, "How do you know that he doesn't feel the same?"

"Duh Harry," I stated wiping my face again," He had a girl over there and she was in his sheets, it doesn't take a genius to figure out what they were doing."

"Obviously it does considering you didn't understand what was going on earlier with Chris," My brother rapidly stated making me glare at him. He then slowed to say," But that is not the point I'm trying to make here. The point is sure they were fucking but that doesn't mean they are together. He could have been just fucking her just to get his little pee pee wet."

"Pee pee?" I grinned, "You still say pee pee for penis?"

"Don't worry about my choice of words just think about what I'm telling you little brother," He sternly said placing his arm over my shoulder, "Just try to tell him again and see what happens."

"What if he rejects me?"

"Well fuck him! You got your phase of being gay over with. That is the only guy you like right?"

"Yea"

"Then you finally got your gayness out of your system."

I shook my head and laughed, "Is that what dad told you?"

"Yes but unfortunately for him I liked only guys."

I laughed a little harder before I heard the doorbell ring. Walking towards the door I thought it would have been Chris coming back to get something he left. Opening the door, I see the back of Darrius head as he thought out loud.

"Okay, Caleb," He said still not realizing that the door was opened, "This may sound crazy but I think that maybe I have a gay crush on you."

I cringed at him saying gay crush. He made it seem like it was way different then having a regular crush on someone. Well it was considering we were both supposed to be straight but still.

"Naw that's stupid," He said now shaking his head and fixing his posture to be more serious," Okay Caleb. I like you. I don't know how it happened but I do. It's crazy right? I was the one saying you were coming on to me but now look."

I silently grinned as he continued to practice his confession. He took a short pause before he placed his hand inside his pockets and putting his head down. From behind I could tell that he was scared. I understood because I was too. I never thought in my lifetime that I would tell another guy that I like them. It wasn't even an options.

"Okay you got this Darrius," He stated hyping himself up, "Just let that shit out and see where it goes."

I stood there looking at the back of Darrius head before he took a deep breath and turned around but jumped back almost knocking himself off the stairs when he saw me.

He held his chest as he tried to get his heart to slow down and I leaned up against the doorframe laughing at him being frighten.

"How long was the door opened?" He asked with his brown eyes wide. I was about to tell him that I knew what he came over for but I also wanted to see what he was going to actually say to me. Being a human I know that things you want to say don't necessarily come out the way you want them.

"Uhm, I just opened it," I lied, "I was busy doing something upstairs."

He nodded in understanding but as I asked what was he here for, the fear quickly flowed into his eyes and I saw his Adam's apple bounce as he gulped. We stood there for about 30 seconds before he finally opened his mouth to answer, "Uhm, can I come in please?"

I moved aside so he could walk in. Looking down I saw that he was wearing pants other than when I went over his house. Seeing him in his basketball shorts and with obviously no underwear on, I couldn't help but stare when he opened the door. The bulge that was proudly imprinted in the seams had me almost wanting to see it.

I caught myself before it was obvious I was staring at his pants rather than paying attention. I closed the door behind him as I guided him upstairs. Well tried to anyway.

"No!" Harry yelled before I could even take a step. Both me and Darrius turned to him with one eyebrow lifted trying to understand why he was yelling.

"What?" I asked him with my hand on the white railing of the stairs with Darrius behind me. He was still sitting on the couch as he thought of why he yelled. Then he pulled out his phone and said," I want to remember this."

I was still confused as the flash went off his camera and once he was done, I moved upward to my room. Darrius followed close behind me and whispered, "your brother is weird as shit."

"You don't have to live with him," I laughed as we entered my room. As always, I made my way over to my king size bed plopping down on the soft pillows. I had changed the sheets to a new red color that matched my canopy. Harry had bought it while he was out one day and decided to give it to me.

"That shit girly," Darrius commented on pointing his finger at my canopy.

"No it's not!" I replied, "It's called having style."

"Whatever it still looks like a girl sleeps in here," He joked walking over to my bed, "The only way you know that it's a guy room by all the guy clothes hanging around and the smell of feet."

I took a whiff of my room but it didn't smell like anything until Darrius took off his shoes. It wasn't heavy but the smell wasn't very pleasant. He snickered in knowing that he caused the odor and all I can think was, "You nasty bastard."

Even though he just took off his shoes, the smell seemed to be fading away. I moved closer to him and I could immediately feel the awkwardness of the talk that was about to happen. Even though I already knew what he was going to say, I still wasn't sure if he was willing to try to be with me. I mean he could confess all he wants but I wanted more than just him saying it. As crazy as it sounds, I wanted to be with Darrius. I guess you can call me a hopeless romantic because if I feel a certain way about someone I want to go for it. This is the first time I've felt this way about another guy so I wasn't sure if he was up for that type of thing. Hell I wasn't sure but I was willing to give it a try.

"I'm sorry about Alicia," He expressed looking at me, "She shouldn't have talked to you like that."

I had almost forgotten that she had said anything to me. I was still focused on the way Darrius touched my face. It was a little gesture but every nerve in my body had responded to it. We were so close just like we are now. He continued to stare at me and I realize he was waiting for me to say it was alright but I couldn't say that.

I couldn't say it because all I could really focus on was what he really came over to say. All I could really focus on was how amazing it felt for him to touch me. All I could really focus on was the imprint of his dick in his basketball shorts.

Staring into his brown orbs only made it worst but I didn't care if he didn't like that I stared at him like this, I wasn't hiding it anymore. I wasn't lying about it anymore either.

"You okay Caleb?" he asked with his dark eyebrows raised. I nodded with a slight smile. I knew I couldn't rush him to say anything but damn he was taking too long. I moved back from him to give him space so that maybe he could think clearly. Then moved closer to me, daring to kill me with how he was looking at me.

Was this how I looked when I stare at him? His mouth was in a straight line but his eyes smiled back at me. The beating in my heart tenfold as he sighed and begin to speak, "I came over to tell you something."

I nodded to let him know I was ready to listen. For a brief moment we were silent, still staring at each other. The tension was intense that I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest before he said anything. He cleared his throat again and spoke, "Caleb.."

This was it he was going to tell me how he felt. I was shaking with anticipation. He started biting on his lips and his eyes shifted around a little.

"Are those the new Jordans?" He blurted out getting off of the bed leaving me there with my mouth wide open. I saw him get on the floor and pick up one shoe of my new Air Jordan 17's. For a moment I just sat there looking at him try to fit into it and eventually he did. The look of total frustration and anger was written all across my face before he asked, "Hey can I borrow these?"

I tried to contend my sanity by taking a deep breath and biting my lip before I sucked my teeth and answered making sure the sarcasm dripped from my voice, "Yes Darrius and while you're at it you can borrow my clothes too."

"Oh for real!" he answered excitingly taking off my shoe and walking over to my closet, "Aye yo thanks man!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?" I found myself screaming making him turn towards me. I was done playing like I didn't know what he came over here for. I wanted him to just say something before I lost my damn mind but I guess it's too late now.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked furrowing his eyebrows.

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you?" I yelled walking towards him, "I know what you are going to tell me but I held out until you actually got the balls to say it."

I continued to stalk towards him as he folded his arms giving me a strong glare.

"So you lied to me downstairs?" He stated and I can tell he was mad but I didn't care.

"You damn right I did! I wanted you to actually tell me without having to let me hear it with your back turned."

His jaw clenched up and he unfolded his arm. Then he made his way towards the door but I jumped over a small pile of clothes and blocked his way. I can tell his patience was wearing very thin with me as he restrained to not hit me.

"Move Caleb," He yelled but I wasn't backing down.

"No! You are not leaving until you hear what I have to say," I shouted. If he wasn't going to tell me, I was going to tell him. I wasn't going to wait another stressful day without telling him. He physically relaxed a little backing off of me.

"Then say what you got to say!" he yelled indicating his impatience. If I wasn't about to tell him I liked him I would beat his ass.

"I like you okay! I've liked you since the pool and we talked! I don't know how it happened it just did!"

After I finished, I felt such a relief being lifted off my shoulders. My body felt more relaxed and my heart settled down in my chest. Even though I probably won't like the outcome, it just being out there made me feel better. I knew he liked me but after confessing that I knew what he come over for, I wasn't so sure.

He stood there looking at me with a firm jaw and tight stare. He then walked up to me and it felt like he stared right into my soul. He was only a couple of inches taller than me so we were kind of eye to eye to each other. He leaned in closer to me still giving me that same glaring stare.

"Like I said before," He said coming a little closer so our faces were only centimeters apart. That familiar heat came rushing back again almost making it harder to breath being so close to him.

Then he smiled and finished, "You are a terrible liar."

Before I could even open my mouth, his pouty lips were on mine making me lose my train of thought. This wasn't just a peck. This was one of those pecks that lasted until somebody lost consciousness. When he pulled back I literally placed my hands on his shoulders to hold myself steady as my mind tried to recollect itself.

He gave me that confident smile he has and said, "Now let me tell you how I feel."

I looked at him in his chocolate colored eyes still dazed as he wrapped his arms around me and stared right back into my blue ones.

"Driving over here I went through all the stages of grief," He expressed, "I mainly stayed in the anger stage but I still moved passed it. Then once I hit that acceptance, I realized that I wasn't fully accepting but I know what I want."

He didn't say that he wanted me, he showed me by giving me another mind twisting kiss but this time I was ready to respond. He pushed me up against the door as our lips fiercely combined with one another. I could tell that he wanted to get closer as he pulled on the belt loops of my pants but I stopped him. Now that I was not ready for and I knew he wasn't either as he nodded in understanding.

"I'm not ready to see another dude's dick either," He stated fixing his shirt that I had latched onto. I lightly hit him and then my door pushed up against my back. Darrius caught me as I flew into his arms looking just as confused as I was. I turned to see my brother standing at the door with his camera out again.

"Your first gay kiss," Harry said smiling from ear to ear, "Do it again because you know I couldn't see through the door."

"No!" Darrius and I both yelled. It was great that my brother was accepting this but I didn't want to let anyone else know just yet.

"We don't want anybody to know what's going on," I told my brother snatching the camera from his hand, "So no evidence."

He rolled his eyes before snatching back his camera, "Fine then. I just save it for when he finally kisses you in public."

With that I closed the door right in his face and turned my attention back to Darrius who looked almost in deep thought now.

"What's wrong?" I asked concerned. Was he thinking about what my brother had said about the kissing in public thing or was he thinking about what might happen if we went forward with this relationship? There were so many things I thought he was thinking about that I begin to think about them myself. So I waited until he answered to know how he was feeling about the situation.

He looked at me up and down before he said, "Let's get one thing straight... I ain't sucking yo dick alright."

Here I was thinking he was thinking about some serious shit but all he was worried about was not sucking dick. I just rolled my eyes and asked myself why did I like him. Then he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me on the forehead making me realize why I did.