"So yall weren't doing anything right?" I asked Chris as we sat in my room. I was tossing my basketball up in the air as I laid down in my bed. Chris was on the floor doing some homework.

"Who?" Chris asked not looking up from his paper.

"Caleb," I answered.

"Oh," Chris hesitated before he spoke again," We just...we were talking about something that happen between him and Michael."

"What about?" I asked and stopped tossing the ball. If Michael did say something about me I swear I'll beat his ass. I waited for Chris answer, "What did he say?"

"He just had a problem with ya'll being friends and he unfriended him I guess," Chris stated making air quotes around unfriended. I didn't know Michael hated me like that or that Caleb was willing to give up their friendship to continue hanging out with me. On the slick, it made me feel good. Then I thought back to why I even asked.

"So what else was it?" I had sat up on the bed still turning the ball in my hand. Chris now looked up at me confused.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"Well I heard you ask him was he going to tell me something and-"

"So you an eavesdropping nigga now," Chris asked defensively, "What else you hear then?"

"That was basically it and that he would let me know when the time right," I retorted, "So what is it Chris?"

He looked at me like he wanted to tell me but he just shook his head to say, "I can't tell you that. That's between you and Caleb."

"But you my boy though! I would have at least thought you would tell me!"

"But it ain't my business to tell you though", Chris shouted, "I know you my boy and everything but there is some shit I just can't tell you."

"We tell each other everything though!" I shouted back getting up from bed, "Even when people talk about you and tell me not to tell you, I always do it anyway. So what makes what he said any different?"

He was silent for a moment and I waited with a clenched jaw. What made this so different? Was it something about me or was it something that they wanted to keep hidden from me? My mind raced with so many questions that I was thinking about the craziest shit.

"He should just tell you man," Chris answered avoiding my eye contact. He went back to doing his homework leaving me standing there pissed off. What was going on? I may be over reacting but Chris and I never kept anything from each other.

I looked at him just really fucking pissed off before I said, "So now what ya'll best friends now?"

His forehead furrowed along with his eyebrows as he asked, "What are you talking about now?"

"Ya'll seem to be close now," I said sarcastically, "I mean keeping secrets and talking. "

"You tripping bruh! I'm just about to head out since you want to act stupid!" Chris yelled back grabbing his stuff from off the floor. I didn't even try to stop him before he left my room. I needed some time to think. How did I let that get me so mad? That wasn't even like me and Chris to argue. This was all Caleb's fault. We wouldn't have been arguing if he would just tell me what he wanted to tell me up front. I plopped back down on my bed and screamed all my frustrations out on my pillow.

I knew I was probably over reacting but I was kind of hurt. Chris and I were closer than friends we were like brothers. I would do anything for him or Marcus and I was beginning to feel a little trusting in Caleb. I thought we were supposed to be building a friendship and he already keeping secrets from me.

All I know right now is that I need to get this anger out of my system. Just like that, I saw Alicia's phone number pop up on my phone. It was just a text asking was I still coming to her party Saturday. That was two days away and I needed to get this out of my system now.

Knowing that I will regret it later, I shot her a text asking if she could come over. Soon enough, she replied saying she was on her way. I knew I fucked up but I was too frustrated to care.

****

Guilt washed over me as I watched Alicia sleep because when she wakes up I have the horrible task of telling her that what we did was not saving our relationship. One part of me hoped that she would know that this was nothing more than just a hook up but another part knew better. She had been wanting this to happen and I just caved in. All because Chris and I got into an argument about Caleb.

It seems like that's all my conversations and thoughts consist of these days. How do I make Caleb trust me? How do I know if Caleb is trustworthy? Why does Caleb look at me like that? All of these questions just go unanswered as I lay back against my headboard. Alicia wrapped her arms around my waist but I softly pushed her away. I didn't want to have sex with her but I was irritated. Not at the fact Chris wouldn't tell me but that Caleb wouldn't tell me.

To be honest, it struck a nerve that just made me feel confused and angry. I opened up to him and I was nice to him. I even let his punk friend get close to my brother. As I continued to sit and think about the small pain clouding around my chest, the door-bell ringed.  Since I was the only one at the house, I hurried and put on some basketball shorts freeballing.

My dick bounced on my thigh as I raced to get to the door. Hopefully it's one of our neighbors trying to borrow something. The doorbell kept going indicating that this person was being very impatient. Unlocking the door, I opened it to reveal Caleb standing there. He was about to speak before I caught his eyes looking down. However, he quickly looked right back up and said, "Chris said you two got into a fight."

My face screwed up and my eyes slated before I spoke, "How did Chris even tell you this, he was just over here."

"He came over and told me before my brother kind of stole him away. He's still there but he's with my brother."

"Oh so yall becoming friends now too?" I asked sarcastically clapping my hands excitingly, "Oh goody."

"What is wrong with you?" He asked me folding his arms across his chest as he frowned, "I can't hang out with Chris or something?"

"Naw it's not that," I stated mimicking his posture," It's the fact you got my best friend keeping a secret from me. I don't like secrets or surprises for that matter. I like people to be upfront with me about the things they do or going to do or say."

"What if its something you don't want to hear Darrius or something that's good that can make you smile?"

"I'd rather you tell me what it is before that way I can decide whether I want to hear it or not."

"That's not a good mindset to have D," he stated sadly, "Sometimes a surprise can be good."

"When did we get off the subject of talking about you keeping secrets," I yelled, "I just want to know what you told Chris."

"That's what I came here to tell you," he said as he moved his foot from side to side. He looked at me with his ocean eyes and sighed. He always had the most unique eyes I have seen. It was as if I could stare into them for hours and not get tired. We stood there staring for what seemed like forever and I could feel my body getting closer to his but I didn't stop myself. I had only taken a couple of steps outside the door and I was already standing centimeters from his face. We were about the same height with me being slightly taller. At that moment, I wasn't thinking as I touched his face. His skin felt so hot against my palm making me wonder if he was coming down with something. However, my eyes never left his.

I felt his jaw move and heard a small gulping sound before he asked, "Darrius what are you doing?"

Realizing what I was about to do, I quickly removed my hand backing away from him. I kept shaking my head like a mad man because I knew at that moment why I did get so upset. That moment signified the way that I really felt about Caleb. The way I have been feeling that I was too ashamed to admit and I was still in denial now.

"Are you okay Darrius?" Caleb approached me but I moved back. Then his eyes seemed to have become wider and it seemed as though the mood became somber.

"What is he doing here," I turned to see Alicia standing there in nothing but my bed sheets. She looked like someone just pissed in her drink the way she scolded at Caleb. Looking back at him I could see his eyes become a little glossy biting on his lips. This was really an awkward situation for me but I didn't understand why I could also feel it coming from Caleb.

"I wanted to talk to Darrius," He answered clearing his throat, "but I see that he is busy so I'll just call him later on."

"Yea you do that!" Alicia aggressively stated.

"Alicia!" I yelled back at her for being rude but she was right he needed to leave before I ended up doing something. I looked at him and through his facial expression I could tell he wanted me to say stay. However, I just couldn't handle that talk right now. So with a heavy sigh I agreed and said, "Yea you should probably leave. How about we talk about it later?"

His eyes became glossy again as he nodded. Turning on his heels he walked back to his truck. His loose black v-neck blew in the small breeze that had my dick tighten up a bit. I just stared as he drove off into the street.

I threw my head back and begin to scream. Not really scream but roar in frustration. How could this have happened? I never even like seeing the sight of other dudes dicks let along wanting to suck one of them. Then Caleb had to be...Caleb and ruin everything. I roared until I couldn't do it anymore. I turned and stalked toward the door where Alicia was still standing. She didn't even ask me what was wrong as I quickly went up to my room and gathered her things to tell her to leave.

I really didn't feel like taking them down to her so I just threw them down the stairs. Her green eyes burned up at me as I threw the last piece of her clothing down.

"What the hell Darrius?" She yelled making me stop to look at her, "All because he came over here and started something...you're going to kick me out?"

"This was a mistake," I honestly stated leaning on the stair rail. I could see her face change from anger to dreary in a matter of seconds. It was now or never. I had to bury this notion in her head of us getting back together.  The only way to do that, with a girl like her, is harshly destroy any hope she had with my words.

Sighing again I said, "I invited you here because I was mad and I needed to get some frustration out."

"What you mean?" She asked pulling the sheets off of her naked body. I couldn't lie she had a great shape and any guy would be lucky to be in my shoes at this moment but all I could think about was Caleb. The way his eyes practically begged me to stay and talk. For a moment there I almost forgot about what she asked me.

"I mean I used you," I said, "I'm sorry but that's the honest truth."

She scoffed as if I didn't faze her putting on the remainder of her clothing, "Whatever Darrius."

Was this bitch deaf? Did she think I said something that had choices? I walked down the stairs and looked at her. She didn't seem or look dumb but she did look piss.

"I'm serious Alicia," I told her as she walked by me to get to the door, "We ain't doing this again."

She paused before she turned the knob on the door. It was eerily quiet before she started laughing and rolled her neck to turn her whole body towards me.

"Listen Darrius boo," She begin walking towards me seductively, "You sure you want to get rid of all of this?"

She turned in a full circle. She had been wearing a fitted blue dress that only reached just a little below her butt cheeks. That ass did look nice as she turned but I had to stay focus on what I was kicking her out for. I didn't want her, I wanted Caleb. However, she closed the gap between us, locking her lips on to my neck. It was rough but I still liked the feeling it was giving me. I bit my lip trying to suppress a moan. I closed my eyes as we backed up against the closet door next to the front door. Then she came back up and I quickly pushed her off of me almost knocking her off her feet.  My breathing came faster and my heart sped up way too quickly. When she came back up, I saw Caleb's face.

"You need to leave now!" I said opening up the door and pushing her out myself. She knocked and knocked before she finally gave up and said, "Fine Darrius! I know you are confused right now but just come to my party alright. I'll show you why we should be together."

I wasn't listening at all. I had my head in my hands as tears streamed down my face. This was way too much but it was a simple conclusion. I was just making it difficult but could you blame me? I never experienced these feelings before and it fucking scared me. Even though my brother was gay and my best friend was bisexual, I wasn't them. They have had time to get adjusted to themselves but me...I never even considered the possibilities of being with another guy. Especially not Caleb.

However, the truth was inevitable. I liked Caleb more than just a friend. The problem was...how was everyone else going to take it. Yes, Chris and Marcus would take it but what about my team or the school. How will they respond to this? Will I lose any chance of getting myself out of Texas? Most importantly, how will this affect my future?

So many question boiled, but I knew the answer to one. I had to tell Caleb how I was feeling before anything else could be answered. Running up to my room, I grabbed the first pair of pants I could find and my car keys before I rushed down the stairs and out the door.