Spencer laid on his couch, clutching The Narrative of John Smith , the book Maeve gave him, in his hands. He tried to block out visions of the bullet going through her skull, the blood spilt on the floor, her lifeless body, but he saw it everywhere. It was causing his excruciating headaches again, as well as the nightmares. Now instead of seeing Riley Jenkens dead in the basement, every time Reid closed his eyes he saw Maeve with a pool of blood underneath her. He was in a constant state of depression, he hadn't read any books or answered a single one of the hundreds of texts and voicemails blowing up his phone by the team. Spencer was extremely exhausted, yet he never slept, it was no use, it always ended up with him waking up screaming and covered in sweat. He survived off coffee and caffeine pills to keep himself awake. 

The phone rang loudly, Spencer ignored it and let it go to voicemail, he just wished that people would quit checking on him. Morgan's voice came through the phone, "Hey Reid, it's Derek. Listen, I got a work question for you" he said. Reid sat up, interested in thinking about something else. "The unsub's exsanguinating victims and removing their eyelids ante mortem. Does that mean anything to you? Hit me back." the message stopped. Reid's brain began to work again, he had an idea of what the unsub was trying to achieve through removing the eyelids. He picked up the phone and dialed Morgan. 

"What's up Reid?" Morgan said casually, but Reid had a feeling that Morgan had set him up to talk about his feelings. 

Reid ignored his doubts, "Have the cornea or pupils been harmed in any way?" He asked Morgan. 

"No, no. Blake said it looked like a very sharp instrument was used", Morgan replied, Reid felt relieved to hear that Morgan actually wanted his piece of mind rather than to feel sorry for him.

 "If he's taking care not to damage the eyes, then line of sight is probably what's important to him" Reid hypothesized. 

"So this guy wants them to see what he's doing." Morgan added on, this is what Reid was thinking too. 

There was a pause from Morgan, Reid became nervous. Then Morgan said the last thing Reid wanted to hear, "Hey Reid, how are you?" Morgan said. 

Those last three words were enough to send Reid back to that terrible place, the flashbacks of the gunshot, blood, Maeve, it overwhelmed his mind once again. Reid couldn't talk about it, "I gotta go" He told Morgan, even though he had nothing to do, and hung up the phone solemnly.

Spencer was left slightly angry that Morgan had asked him how he was doing, sending him back to a bad place, but he knew Morgan just wanted to see if he was alright. Thinking about the team caring for him brought Reid slight comfort, it lifted 10% of his depressive spirit. He remembered when Garcia and JJ came to his door this morning, asking if he was okay. Garcia had left him something at the door, he decided to check what it is. He opened the door to see a potted plant and a basket of mixed nuts and seeds. Reid let out a slight smile, he thought it was thoughtful of Garcia to give him nuts and seeds because they have magnesium in them, which helps produce serotonin in the brain, the chemical that creates joy. He decided to try working on this case to forget his grief. 

Reid opened his laptop and began an e-mail to Anderson, he didn't want to e-mail Garcia, he feared that she wouldn't want him working until he was sure he was okay. But helping the team would get him to forget about his pain. Reid and Anderson weren't very close, so he knew he wouldn't get questions and pity from him. 

Hey Anderson, could you send me the information you have so far on this case? I want to help out. 

After Reid sent the e-mail, he started research by finding the San Francisco murder reports online. Studying the tactics used by the unsub, trying to figure out the killer's motive behind the murders. He received an e-mail back from Anderson, containing the files on the murders and artwork. Eventually coming to a conclusion that the unsub's disposal site was around the mission district, now he needed to find the art galleries in that area. Reid knew he needed the team's help, pushing aside his anxieties, he took a deep breath, dialing Morgan's number. 

"What's up, kid?" Morgan asked through the phone. Reid didn't want to let his emotions get to him, so he just reported what he found out about the case. 

"If it is about the art, then it's clear the disposal sites are scattered around the mission district area" Reid replied while circling the Mission District on his map. 

"Wait a minute how did you know--" Morgan began to ask, 

Reid interrupted him, "I had Anderson bring over some of the files" 

Morgan paused for a moment before speaking again, "Alright, alright. Hold on a second, let me patch in Garcia" Morgan replied before the phone went on hold. Reid tensed up, he didn't know what Garcia would say. He heard Morgan's voice again. 

"Reid" Morgan answered, signaling for him to speak. 

Reid continued with the task he wanted her to do, "Garcia, you should pull a list of all the art galleries in San Francisco", he said, sitting down on the couch. 

Garcia's voice was laced with concern. "Reid I was just--how are you?" She asked him. The visions and graphic images started to come into view, he knew this would happen. But he was feeling better now that he was focusing on something else, also the nuts he ate while researching were helping. 

"Better" he told Garcia, he felt like he wasn't worthless for the first time since Maeve died, and he was grateful for that. "Thank's for asking," he responded, then continued, "And thanks for the baskets. You know, nuts have magnesium, which helps produce--"

"Seretonin, yeah, I know" Garcia interjected, she must have done her research. He could hear the clicks of the keyboard as Garcia typed his request. "Okay, galleries, I got a lot." She said. 

"Focus on the mission district" Spencer responded, hanging up the phone. If he kept his focus on his work and research, he would forget about Maeve hopefully. It would be even easier to focus if he was back at the BAU office, so first he needed to clean up and get dressed. He was ready to forget the past and look toward the future, even though the future is not for him to decide.